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Reviews For Closure
But 'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..' Please, give us interested and faithful readers Closure: What happens? Do they ever find him? Can Harry send him sarcastic jokes and teen vitality via the back way? Gratitude. Thankfulness?- I know , He is Harry, ungratitude on legs. Will Draco teach him to be Slytherin-ich ? Does Severus die? Does the Celtic element - sixth sense- pop up again? (Lovely secret password to the house.) Please, it has just been January 14, and we lost Alan /Sev four years ago, still a deep grief,- so, do give us Severus, in writing at least. The story is just too good. Thank you very much for this brilliant, handsome torso. Will be enjoying your pen, I promise. Oy vey *very muted swearwords* Why do I read unfinished tales that give me unrest?
What a wonderful story so far. Brilliant and exciting plot and great character development. Dumbledore was so manipulative to both Snape and Harry, you've got me on the edge of my seat. I'm utterly hooked and eagerly awaiting more. :)
Author's Response: I am so sorry about the delay-I had to go out of town this weekend (no access to a comp) and I have finals this week...I will try my hardest to get a new chapter out as soon as possible. If you want a spoiler for the new chapter, check out my livejounal account: phantoms_girl04. I WILL NOT abandon this story-things are just a little hectic now...
Hey, this is really great! This story is pretty much the first PostHBP fic I've read and i'm really enjoying it. I especially love the way Dumbledore was forced to be almost ruthlessly stern with Snape. From the cliffhanger, I'm guessing we're going to find out exactly what happened at Godric's Hollow with Voldemort. I look forward to it :D Keep writing and smiling :) -Linden Author's Response: Thank you for the response! I've read a few post-HBP: most were oneshots and Jocelyn's Dumbledore's Men (which is great, by the way) Yes, in the next chapter, you will learn ALMOST exactly what happened in GH...the important stuff, anyway. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope to hear from you again! --Amber
Awesome, awesome, AWESOME!!! Great chapter, great writing, and great plot coming up! I love it! :) Thanks so much for sharing!!! For some reason, when I read this line, "Harry knew precisely what Snape must be feeling…and that scared him. Harry glanced at Dumbledore, and was surprised at the hardness sketched into his weathered features." I got a shiver. It really moved me. Poor Snape. “I endured much in my childhood and schooldays, Albus…I refuse to relive the memories as I walk the halls of the school in my adulthood.” Wow. AWESOME line. Great chapter!!! And the socks at the end- great. I love that playfulness that came across, and I love that Harry was given a keepsake. You have a lovely spin on all the memories and events, and while lots of people share the belief or tale of them, I think that you’re the first to actually write them ALL OUT in a story. This chapter flowed quite well, it was riveting. Best chapter yet and I’m so looking forward to the next. Snape was playing both sides; back in forth- From your last review response: "...sometimes, when I do write my sentences, my structures are placed there to make the reader think, in a way. I love stories that don't just tell you everything up front-you infer things, and then you figure out at the end whether you were right or not"Yes, but there is a difference between letting a reader infer a plot or events, and not knowing who exactly is speaking in a normal dialogue. You want to do the first, but I'm talking about something more like the second. It wasn’t in this chapter at all though, so good job!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the chapter! This was the one that I had the most...apprehensive feelings about. I mean, I had a rather large lead-up to this chapter, and I was afraid that I would fall short. Hmmm...I shall fix the error with the 'short silence'; perhaps I shall have Severus start speaking in the middle of Harry's rant, drowning out Harry's words (we will still know them, but, like you said, it woudl emphasize the point of not being able to interact with the memories.) And the Hagrid thing...As I wrote that section, I had HBP on my lap, trying to keep it as...canon as I could. Really, in my story, Hagrid only heard the first part of the conversation-Severus refusing to do something, Dumbledore saying he had already agreed, and that he needed to investigate his Slytherins...you make a HUGE point-Hagrid NEEDS to be in that scene...I shall write it in-I have an idea...LOL Thanks, as always, for the grammar mistakes; I am pleased to note fewer of them than last time...LOL You, of all people, deserve Reese's Cups...I just have to figure out how to send them! --Amber
Wow. Awesome opening to this chapter and awesome ending! WOW! I love your Snape- he's so in character! I love the writing around him, the motions and just everything. Great job! I noticed that Harry called his "dark mark" a deformity when he covered it up with a glove- I think that was nicely done, showing his thoughts about it and his character, poor Harry. I find it interesting that Harry speaks slightly different- kind of formal older. It intruiges me. I like Harry's injuries, however, you need to pay a little more attention to his leg- for example, Harry's leg probably would have been really hurting by the time he was deep into cleaning his cottage with Remus. When he went to get the groceries, he had the bag in at least one arm- what about the cane? And sitting down, lying down, putting pants on, it's all difficult with an injury with that. When you have an injury, it tends to affect almost everything. You should try doing something to yourself like tapping a long stick to your leg to see how it affects you, pretending that it's injured. It will help you be able to catch details and more realism. You did do a good job on this chapter, that one part just really stood out to me. I had and still have lots of injuries from sports, most of them were over exhertion or over use injuries and they can be just okay, a little weak and sore after a work out and a minute later crippling, worrying, pain. Also, the reading of the will seemed like you skipped a part. The guy started with the introductions, Harry had one thought, and then he was called up to get his part. What about the other people, were they just there to see Harry, and only Harry get something from Dumbledore? I really enjoy your writing style. I really do. It's really well written and I'm so proud to have it on this archive. :) I noticed that a couple of times near the beginning the structure of your sentence didn't introduce the speaker or subject soon enough. Like sometimes if you start the side comment, and it's too long or the stuff before it seemed to have been in a different direction, it wasn't moving to the subject fast enough so you're a little lost and it broke up the flow. Kind of like a skipped record in your mind, I guess. You can keep reading but you have to process the words a little more. Dumbledore coming out of that egg was really great, I loved that part of the plot and the feelings were done so nicely. His end request- Woah! Totally wasn't expecting that! Awesome, great story. Thanks so much for sharing it! Now write more! Hehe XD. Here's some little typo-type things I noticed (we all make them but if someone points them out, then it'll be easier for you to spot them if you want to change them): ...he did not know who long his funds would have to stretch how. this was a little weird with the structure of the sentence around it: he fled the letter left purposefully behind, plain wood cane with a well-place summoning spell. I will also need you're word as a witch "This is a charm that can be place on a necklace he thought to himself as he pushed opened the door. Harry kept his eyes closed as he controlled the rage that built up at the mention of Potions and why exactly the position needed to be filled brought up a rather painful memory… I thank you; you're friendship and strength has guided Years had been added to Harry’s life in the months were his friends Author's Response: WOW!!! Jan, you are SO awesome...not only do you tell me what you like and don't like, but you are the QUEEN of finding my stupid grammar mistakes-I think that means the most to me, because it's rather embarrassing...and the only thing I can say in my defense was that I rushed this chapter-I'm sorry...I'm glad that you thought Severus was in character-he is the hardest for me to write, although I have to admit that my personality sometimes reflects his sardonic nature...The reason why Harry's speech is the way it is is because I wanted to reflect, through his vocabularly, how divided he is. What I mean is that at times he uses slang and everything, like a normal teenager...but then at times, he's very formal and shows a bit of his intelligence peeking through; his more ADULT side (forced upon him by the war)-I think Harry hides a lot of things, and now that the necessity isn't there, more of his true nature can come out...What do you think? I'm sorry about the lack of realism in is leg injury-I have added some things to the Remus-Harry section to make it clear that he has done too much on the day he
Author's Response: LOL...you won't have to wait long...give me til the weekend, and I'll try to have the next chapter posted-I promise, no later than Wed. Thanks for reviewing!
Author's Response: Thanks again Jan...the Harry and Severus action will be a while coming...but oh, when it gets here, I promise some fireworks! The buildup is taking a while, but the set up is just about done-one more chapter and I should be able to begin the journey to find Severus. I hope I can keep you guessing with this chapter-I hope I don't disappoint!
“Ah, here we are! You have fifteen minutes, my boy. I’ll be nearby.” I really like Malfoy's introduction to this story. :) All your characters are in character too, great job. And in return, you will vouch for me, protect me, and defeated the evil bastard!” Defeat. He straighten his sleeping tunic and ran his fingers through his thick hair. straightened. Awesome, awesome circumstances in this chapter. love it. Wow. The charmed letter with the different handwriting was great! When someone mentioned the heart dots for i's, yeah imagining SNape doing that is just hilarious! I love Draco's involvement. Your writing is really great!! Thank you so much for sharing this!! Just so you know, our usual text editor here is down for a little bit, so you might have some difficulty pasting any chapters right now. I renamed the fanfiction folder and now for some reason it's not working, but I should get it back up soon. Author's Response: Wow...I just have to say that I REALLY appreciate you taking the time to review my first three chapters so thoroughly...I have corrected my *embarrassing* grammar and spelling mistakes, and I will try to take your advice to heart. You asked why Kingsley didn't answer Harry's question about the prisoner-there was a reason for that. Kingsely wanted Harry to meet with the prisoner-he went out of his way to interrupt Harry's mission to talk to him-and to be honest, I personally think that if Harry had known that Draco was the prisoner-he might have refused point blank to see him. So, I purposefully was a bit misleading-plus, the reader could guess who the prisoner was from the lead up-but Harry had no idea. I hope that makes a bit more sense now-I'm still trying to work out the kinks in my writing style, and some things aren't as obvious as I would like. In the second chapter, a whole line of text was deleted for some reason, accounting for the strange sentence between Harry's inner monologue and Hermione's answer. I have corrected it! It seems as though I really need a beta-I shall try to actively search for one-maybe I can bribe my brother! Thanks again, Jan...I'm so glad that you reviewed! |
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