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Reviews For Muggleville
I had forgotten all about this website and continued to return dutifully to fanfiction.net in the hopes that you had updated there. Just when I was about to give up hope, I went to your user page to see if you'd left an explanation... There was none of course, but I did see your website and so - I am here. I love this story so much. And Snape was actually civil to Harry. *shock* Speaking of Harry, I think you do a wonderful job of making his thoughts seem childlike but still have hints at his actual age. Very nicely done. I shall wait for the next update. (Now that I know where to find it) Author's Response: you betcha! :) I'm sneaky like that. I also posted a muggleville one-shot for Halloween in October. Thanks so much for your review, I enjoyed reading it. :)
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Another awesome chapter!!! I love this story so much:) I did notice a handful of typos - couching instead of coughing, a missing "not" here or there, and a few others. Drop me a copy of the file to sandrabs52@y...com if you'd like me to catch them all for you and send it back - I can do 'track changes' in word, or just highlight them or something. Thanks again for sharing your incredible talent with us and I'll be happily awaiting the next update! Author's Response: Ah! Haha, I made that "couching" mistake at least 3 times when I was writing it and I kept fixing them right away but I guess I didn't get them all. Thanks so much for your offer! I usually just edit the new chapter the days after I first post it (and anytime I catch a mistake) and just change it. I am planning to edit all the chapters (if I can get through them, chapter 11 was a killer) after I post chapter 20, but i may take you up on your offer! :) Thanks! Admin edit: Jan - Please don't list your e-mail in a review. There's no protection on the site for it. Thanks. :)
Aw...poor Harry; he's rather confused about his pretend family, isn't he? I would be too...although Snape pretending to be his father is even funnier when you think of all the Severitus fics out there...and thanks for the great descriptions of airplane travel-I've never been on a plane, and I really could imagine it...awesome OC in Kathleen as well-she was very nice to little Harry *giggles* --Amber Author's Response: LOL, you're right! That wasn't my intention. XD But a confused Harry is a fun Harry! Wow, awesome that the plane seemed real to you, since you're never been on one. That's awesome. I'm glad you liked my OC. :) Thanks!
--Amber Author's Response: LOL, yeah totally no romance. The purpose of the story was to have Snape and Harry go through a Muggle childhood-like summer. :) And no romance was in that plan. YEA review! :D Thanks!
Ah, a Harry POV chapter...I quite liked the description of his side of the battle-we heard from Dumbledore, and now we hear from Harry-his feelings were open, which is a common thing with him...and I noticed the apprehension about the Portkey-I don't think, in canon anyway, that Harry will ever truly be comfortable traveling that way...oh and this: "He hoped that Dumbledore had some children's clothes that were less crazy than the old man's robes." Poor Harry-can you imagine: he has to wear Dudley's old huge handmedowns, and then, he has to wear a copy of Dumbledore's crazy Wizarding robes! Too funny! Luckily, that's not the case...and YEA for a trampoline! Although, I rather lost my love for one after I broke my ankle jumping...Excellent chapter, as always-I liked your description of both the potion and the change that accompanied it. Harry's curious thoughts seemed to be supressed as a teenager-but they certainly came out as a kid! Hey, this sounded a little weird..."the only time Moody had moved from his spot was to inspect the house elf and tray that had been brought Harry his dinner earlier"-you might consider rewording it... Author's Response: Ack! You broke you ankle... wow. I unfortunately can't jump on trampolines very much myself, I'm sensitive to free fall (it hurts) so I can go on for a little bit before it gets to be too much. Yeah and imagine Harry in Dumbledore's robes.. I should so write something with that. :) Yeah that last sentence was weird, I must have spent 5 minutes trying to get it right when I first wrote the chapter, "the only time Moody had moved from his spot was to inspect the house elf, and the tray it had been carrying, when it brought Harry his dinner earlier." how's that? Thanks so much for you review! :D
And so the snarkiness begins..."Posing as Muggle Family with Potter? In the colonies?" LOL!! Severus seems rather distressed, doesn't he? Hmmm...what potions were discussed between the two earlier? Apparently in a conversation that we didn't get to see...I wonder what Dumbledore wants him to brew...Oh, what a perfect line: "And the new Muggle Studies Professor? I assume she's a woman unless you intend to dose someone with a gender changing potion. If that is the case, let me assure you in advance that I am quite allergic." Tehe...that sums it up right there about the eloquence of our dear Potions Master...I mean, he could have just said 'no way am I changing genders" but that just wouldn't be his style...I expected a little more resistance to Dumbledore's plan, although I can see where Severus may be willing to place his fate in Dumbledore's hands-he's at a turning point, so it would seem-The Ministry know of his spying...and Voldemort waits to seek venegance. Great chapter, as always! Slight grammar boo-boo: --Amber Author's Response: Hehehe,, thanks! :) I love Reeses cups, thanks!
Oh my...how in the world did I manage to forget a name like Hoppity Clementine Smirkett! LOL!!! I couldn't remember it to save my life, but it is CERTAINLY a memorable name...I loved this line:"Yes, quite. I do feel as if a little decoration on one's robes is ever so nice. If you ever tire of listening to an official you could just watch a star or moon float by." It is so quinetessially Albus...Tehe...Oh, and this! "Really?" Well of course he had known that, but sometimes when he acted as if he was uninformed or senile people tended to supply him with more information.-so true! Great characterization of Albus in this chapter...he's manipulative, but not in an evil way-but he does get what he wants...and Hoppity does NOT come off as a Mary Sue, neither here nor in future chapters-it's as you said-her eccentric behavior can be blamed on her relation to Albus-and she certainly has her flaws...Great chapter-the introduction to your OC was nicely done...and next chapter, I think I have some Severus to look forward to! --Amber Author's Response: Aw, thanks!! :D *dances around* I love reading lines and stuff in reviews becasue I totally forget them and then it's like reading them again for the first time. Thanks!
Hey Jan! I thought that I would try to return the favor to you by reviewing your story *and YEA for the update!*...although I doubt my reviews will be nearly as helpful as yours are to me...So here goes! I love the conversation between Dumbledore and Harry-Dumbledore is so tentative, and Harry, at first, acts a little indifferent...but then, certain things grab you, like this sentence: Harry looked withdrawn before his face gave a glimmer of hope. I really felt for Harry, because I knew what Dumbledore would say next...and then "I have no where else to go" was said in a perfectly dejected way...as I reread this, I notice the irony of your last line: "...I will make sure that I find someone to spoil you and someone to protect you" It really describes the two entering 'guardians' well-The Muggle-studies teacher (her name escapes me right now) is of course the loving, nurturing one...but Severus is certainly NOT going to spoil Harry...but he will, begrudingly, protect him. GREAT opening chapter...It's a nice lead up to the rest...and good explanations on the previous events...I like how the point of attack for your opening chapter is AFTER the DE attack...and you discribe it without reliving it. Great job! Okay, I found one little thing: "I'm afraid that he did not survive capture." And leave it at that.-shouldn't it be left? On a side note, I tried the link at the beginning of the chapter, to learn more about the plot (I don't know why, considering I've read this before) but the link didn't work-thought you might want to know... --Amber Author's Response: Thanks Amber!! :) I'll go fix that link, I moved the pages a couple of weeks ago. I really enjoyed your review! The typos and such will help me since I plan to go back and edit all the chapters when i reach chapter 20 but you don't really have to if you don't want to. It can become tedious after awhile. I know about some of them already, and I'll catch lots when I reread but stating them would make sure I didn't miss them. Read on and i hope you enjoy! :)
Author's Response: You mean "Snape and Harry interaction". XD LOL yeah Goats. Thanks so much! |
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