If only he knew what he was in for, to bad I do. ;)
Author's Response: Heh heh heh. *evil grin* We both do. ;)
| Title: In Which Bad Choices Are Made
| 24 Jan 2005 7:46 pm
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| Reviewer: Carrie (Signed)
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Sorry, just had to add UPDATE soon please!
Author's Response: :P LOL. I'm trying, I'm trying! But you know what? You singularly put me in a GREAT mood to write today. Thanks!
Haha, but the bad thing is that I don't want to post to FFN cause I don't want to have to think about what a million reviews say cause they might take me out of my mood. Hmmm...
| Title: In Which Bad Choices Are Made
| 24 Jan 2005 6:25 pm
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| Reviewer: Carrie (Signed)
| [Report This]
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This was great! I don't know what you still need to change, but I loved it! I'm so glad Harry finally tried to get his wand back, even though he wasn't sucessful. That confrontation with Snape was marvelous! "Tan your hide", I lol so hard at that. That would be funny if Snape really did that. Poor Harry, couldn't even eat his favorite cereal. Can't wait to see how occlumency lessons go.
Author's Response: Thank you thank you! Are you the same Carrie on my group? Thanks so much for the multiple reviews. :)
Yeah, I know that the chapter is ok but I am just a perfectionist and I can't help thinking that everything has some big fatal mistake because I put the wrong twist of emotion here or Harry is too crybabyish here, ect ect. Haha why was the "tan your hide" line funny? If I were Harry I would be terrified! I actually hope that Harry doesn't try to go through Snape's room again because Snape doesn't seem the type to give empty threats. And Snape is just a git- taking Harry's cereal away! Rah!!! (Haha I can't wait until Snape tries some later on...)
IIRC, you don't like writing Snape. I don't know why, though, because you seem to be pretty good at it. ;-) I liked this chapter--especially the dragon, and Harry's first indications (to Snape and Hoppity) of his neglect by the Dursleys.
Sorry, but I'm not going to be able to finish tonight. I need to sleep. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish reading in the morning! :-) FINISH THE CHAPTER! *smiles angelically*
Author's Response: Oh thanks. Snape can be entertaining to write but it's just so annoying to me to watch after all his thoughts and motivations when the things in the scene continue.
Don't you bat your eyelashes and smile at me! :P I was stuck here last night by myself on this stupid chapter. I posted it. I hope you're happy. XP *bop!* :)
Ooh.. like I said in my last review, it's so much nicer seeing things through child-like eyes! :-) I have flown soo many times now that I am bored stiff. I could recite the whole thing to you, but I no longer think about how odd it is that the seats are flotation devices or think (much) about stepping over that annoying gap between the terminal arm and the plane itself. Much more fun to see it from Harry's perspective, like it's fun to listen to little kids when it's their first time and they actually make comments about things. :-D Moving on the next chapter, happily. :-)
Author's Response: You know what's really funny? All Harry's thoughts are stuff that I thought about. I get really silly on planes, or maybe it's my brother making me silly? Whenever we are together and doing anything new we just get... silly! And so childish. It's probably just my over active imagination and good memory but it was really easy to put what a child would think of when they go on a plane for the first time.
LOL, the little piece of your conversation with Star at the end of the chapter was amusing. ;-)
By the way, have I mentioned how I love the look of the site? It's SOO much easier to read things here than it is on FF.net--better font (I think, or so it seems), better background, easier on the eyes.. I'm a happy reader! Combine that with a great story (MUGGLEVILLE!) and life is very, very good. Now if only my aunt and uncle would get home.. ;-)
Poor Harry. The wand being taken away was a severe blow, worsened by it being given to Snape. I think it was a "good" choice by Dumbledore to not tell Harry that Snape was going to be his "father" for the duration--he would most certainly have refused, vocally. However, as it is, Harry's going to be rather angry at Dumbledore, I'd wager. Or maybe you're going to work it out so he's not.. I guess I'll have to read on to see!
Author's Response: YAY! YOU LOVE MY SITE! YAAAAAYYY!!!!! And you can pick what background you want too by picking a different layout. The font is Times New Roman... I think. *sings her life is good song* La la la laaaaa... I just love a little angry Harry in the morning...
Actually, I never thought that Harry was going to jump off the trampoline into the mirror, or that Dumbledore intended it. :-P It's probably a wizarding one with wards around the edges so he can't come off it high in the air, anyway.
I love your description of childhood here--of the Potion, and the experience of shrinking, and how different everything looked, and how curious Harry was.. so fun! I don't remember my childhood all that well, and what I do remember is for the most part not happy things ( :-( ) so this is a great adventure, and very soothing in a sense. I'm on to read more! :-D
Author's Response: Yeah, a lot of people don't think that either but I thought that it would be funny to have in the Author's Notes. Yay for soothing child Harry senses!
You know what one of the things I like about Muggleville is? Instead of brushing over the explanation of WHY Harry and Snape have to spend time together, or WHY Harry should be deaged, or WHY they shouldn't use magic, you explain all that.. but you do it in a fun, interesting way, so that I am not bored out of my mind with the explanation, either. It's a great balance.
Then again, there's a possibility that I love that because we have so much in common. ;-) Anyway, yeah--lots of lovely sneering coming from Snape this chapter, but he gave in pretty easily, it seemed. Then again, Dumbledore does have a lot of power over him, and he IS between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. So I guess I believe it.. I just think I might have liked one more token protest, before he gave in. But it's your fic and I'm loving it, despite these little recommendations for possible improvement I'm giving. ;-) One to chapter 4...
Author's Response: I can add another token protest in there somewhere... Yes! Fun and interesting ways so that you aren't bored out of your mind are key!!! I refuse to have bored readers. :P lol@"I'm loving it, despite these little recommendations for possible" improvement" Haha.
Ahh, Hoppity. I love your anti-Mary Sue. It's a nice touch that she's so obviously ludicrous, in the way that Mary Sues are underlyingly. :-) So many fun lines that make me smile, in this chapter! :-D
Oh, by the way--hate to bug you about this, but I think I'm going to have to start giving classes on punctuation, since I'm a professional nitpicker. ;-) You have two common problems: a complete lack of hyphens, and the always popular run-on sentence. Ask me what I mean, and remind me that I found lots of ready examples in chapter 2, and I'll teach you like I did Corbin. ;-)
Author's Response: Haha, you can be the puncuation Big Sister! Wheeeeeee!!!
Lack of hyphens? You are a hyphens supplier. :P No hyphens!
Tell me about these run-on sentences. I KNOOOOOWW that I use them, I just don't always figure out how to fix them.
This is great!! Did I ever actually read the beginning, or have you been showing me snippets from the very beginning? Anyway, it all seems fresh and new to me, so props for that either way. :-) I especially like how you gave Dumbledore's perspective, and dealt with the Dursleys without him condoning their abuse. I have to admit I like DD bashing, but when you deal with it this well, I can deal with agreeable!Dumbledore too. (Especially when I know he's out of the picture for pretty much the rest of the fic.) Anyway, remind me to talk to you about transitions of emotions.. I think I noticed some rough spots, but since I'm racing, I don't want to stop to talk about that now! Going on to chapter 2...
Author's Response: Nope! I've just been showing you little bits as they come to me. Yes, do tell me of the rough spots, perfectionist that I am I wish to fix them! Fix Fix Fix!
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