Haha a chocolate cupcake. XD How cute! :) This was an awesome chapter and an awesome story! Wow. I have never seen a better scene with the Dursley's and the way it was set up that Harry went back into the cupboard. Very, very good job. Clever to use the Monster Book of Monsters; I thought for sure that i was a snake and was quite surprised. Having it show up in the middle of Petunia's party was inspired. I'm glad that the Dursley's weren't physically abusive but acted more canon and just shut Harry away. I loved, loved the way Hagrid picked Harry up after he got out of his cupboard and then all the motions to be quiet. Great job!

There were some things that could be worked on though: some scenes were just a little blank. Maybe there needed to be more descriptions? For example, when Harry was thinking that there were robbers, I lost sense of Harry's surroundings and it felt a little unclear as to what the house was like. in this passage I felt that you needed a better description because I pictured Snape standing one way, and then the second sentence moved it completely around: "His force was so strong that Harry fell backwards. Before he could fall to the ground Snape caught him and righted the boy."

I wonder about Harry's thirst. You can't go three days without water so you'll die but Harry doesn't seem thirsty. I'll just pretend that Snape had him drink water when he was unconcious, which is why he wasn't thirsty and Snape wanted him to eat; you can't really get someone unconcious to eat and chew and swallow you might be able to get them to drink.

You also had a lot of typos and duplicated passages. I'll show you some examples:

He the door was jerked open and swiftly Harry had his wand in hand (Then?)

Harry was ready, or somewhat ready, if I have to I can leap out, hopefully catching them off balance. And then I can run away, and hide till morning. But the plan seemed feeble at best and he wasn't even sure he could get his legs to work.

Harry was ready, or somewhat ready, But the plan seemed feeble at best and he wasn't even sure he could get his legs to work.

Above the footsteps circle the room (circled)

scooped Harry up like he was a rage doll. (rag)

why are you holding my like this (me)

And so he quietly whispered, "Um, Hag-"

, Harry thought. And so he quietly whispered, "Um, Hag-"

As the brooms lifted from the ground Harry could see privet drive below him. (Privet Drive)

But of course the werewolves, Harry thought to sarcastically respond. But instead he said, "Sir, what werewolves?"

Harry thought to sarcastically respond. But instead he said, "Sir, what werewolves?"

the dark lord (the Dark Lord)

of you with twenty question." (questions)

When Hagrid sent a message about situation