Woo! Fantastic job. I think that you did a job job juggling all the characters, even Dumbledore has a bit of an appearance in this one. I liked the scene between Harry and his friends. But Malfoy - wow, he threatened to kill Hermione's parents? No wonder Snape was furious. I don't think Hemrione or Ron will even think about accepting Malfoy any time soon.

I am a little worried about Snape's violent side. He hit draco last chapter, that does not inspire confidence to me but I think Draco probably has more trust and events with Snape to make him still trust him. I would have liked to see them deal with the way Snape hit him and make things right. I guess with them both being part of Death Eater... life, they look at it a little differently and move on.

I think for the most part your Snape is very incharacter. I still thin kyou could do a better job switching between mean to gentle. I wonder about Harry and his dreamless sleep plan. WOuldn't drinking this potion just knock him out? lol. It's really interesting that a few drops might make him mellow though...

Mr. Potter won a Quidditch match or Ms. Grainger (Granger)

"Well, Draco! Speak up!" Then Snape added in a low hiss, "are you missing the beatings? Is that why you are so mad at Potter for getting your father locked up?" (hiss, "Are you... Beginnings of sentences in quotes are supposed to be capitalized.) :)

Snape in a cold dry voice added. "In (added, "In)

I found a website that explains quotation grammer that you may want to glance through real quick. I study this myself sometimes. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_quote.html

Snape froze as he looked up. (froze as Draco looked up? This has to be clearer otherwise i don't know what's going on. I think Snape looked up and froze?)