This is really sweet, in-character, and realistic all at once!
Nooooo! Don't find out what a TV is!
Aww...
"...Your smile's in your heart..."
I think I shall cry.
Oh yeah, and I also love your reference to Charlie Weasley and his dragons. ;-)
Title: Chapter Seven
| 15 Oct 2008 2:43 am
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Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous)
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My dear little summer squash, your grammar must be fixed! "Madam Bright didn't live up to her name, brown would have been more accurate." Where is your semicolon? Your conjunction? When you connect two independent clauses (Those are two short sentences that could stand on their own), you must use either a semicolon or a FANBOYS- that's For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So! If you don't use a proper connection between the words, you'll get a run-on sentence, and that's bad. (See? I just used one!) Put either a semicolon or a 'for' between 'name' and 'brown,' and get rid of this misused comma nonsense! By the way, Harry is the cutest little kid ever.
I'm greatly enjoying reading this. There's a few little nit-picky things - for example Brit-isms; in this chapter for example, you mention Vernon having to buy Harry glasses; whereas they'd actually have been free for children (Vernon certainly wouldn't have spent any money on buying nicer ones than the NHS offers).
Overall though I'm very much enjoying myself and will go right on reading now!
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