Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For What is family?
Title: Chapter 16: The Black House 04 Jul 2011 7:58 pm
Reviewer: Griffin Raven (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow...I can't wait to learn more about these wicked mysterious muggle scientist who have been using young Harry for a long term experiment & what its true aim is?

    It was great the way that Severus and Harry, even when he was in chimera form, had a certain level of trust in each other. I love the way that chimera/Harry sniffed at Severus, and seemed to identify him with "pack"?

    I do wonder just how Harry's chimera form would react to both Moony and Padfoot...if he would react favorably to them? Hmm, I wonder does Severus have an animgaus form, if he did I can't see him being a bat...but a sleek, cool black panther, or something!
Title: Chapter 4: Snakes and lions 04 Jul 2011 4:45 pm
Reviewer: Griffin Raven (Signed) [Report This]
    I do wonder what Severus would do if young Harry, was able to show him his notes or repeat the speech that he gave in Harry's first potions lesson? Or if Severus knew that Harry was nearly sorted into Slytherin, if he hadn't argued with the sorting hat?

    Oh, dear sounds like I just love to get a shock out of our dear potions master, hehe!

    Anyway absolutely brilliant story, especially the very different ending to the grave yard scene.
Title: Chapter 3: Unexpected 30 May 2010 9:14 pm
Reviewer: SnapesYukuai (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow, that was unexpected. But definitely interesting and in the end: CUTE! Well, keep going this sound increasingly intriguing (no clue if I spelled that word correct, sorry).
    Your Melfis.
Title: Chapter 2: All aside in desperation 30 May 2010 9:02 pm
Reviewer: SnapesYukuai (Signed) [Report This]
    Hi there, I think I like your story quite well so far and the prospect of Harry hopefully becoming Snape's apprentice makes me bounce in delightful anticipation. ^^
    Anyway, one question: Was Snape injured and I didn't get it or is he is just resting in the hospital wing?
    Your Melfis.
Title: Chapter 14: Lost and Found 27 Jun 2008 10:53 pm
Reviewer: onaleia (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Spelling and grammar are better in this one. I only spotted one dropped letter this time, a 'he' where it should have been 'the'. Good job.
Title: Chapter 6: In the darkness (part 1) 27 Jun 2008 8:56 pm
Reviewer: onaleia (Anonymous) [Report This]
    It should be tough, not tuff. There are also other minor errors, such as where instead of were, to instead of so, and other things that appear to be the result of relying on spell-checking software to correct typographical errors. These do not detract from your well-developed plot and characterization, but they are distracting.
Title: Chapter 16: The Black House 26 Jan 2008 6:56 pm
Reviewer: Paula (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Very interesting story. I hope you don't mind if I beg for more? MORE!!!
Title: Chapter 16: The Black House 03 Jan 2008 9:26 am
Reviewer: Jen77 (Anonymous) [Report This]
    An update would make a great belated christmas present!
Title: Chapter 16: The Black House 17 Nov 2007 4:17 pm
Reviewer: Sasulia (Signed) [Report This]
    yay can't wait until the next chapter and severus! keep up the good work
Title: Chapter 10: The Clash 13 Oct 2007 11:40 am
Reviewer: Becky (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Your story was going well until several chapters ago. You are withholding too much information from the reader. While it's true you don't want to give your plot away too soon, you do want to give enough information to keep your readers from being confused. For example, Harry's capture was very confusing. Harry tried to help Snape, then suddenly the scene 'jumped' to Snape chasing after a car. Things 'jump' again to a rescue and then to Snape's capture. I was too busy trying to figure out what happened to feel any concern for your characters.

    You need to slow down the pace of your story and clarify things. Withholding clues can add suspense to a plot, but you still need to provide the reader with something to work with.

    I strongly recommend that you get a beta reader. A good beta will help you with your plot as well as help you correct the spelling errors. (and yes, you do have quite a few of those in your story.) I learned a lot from my beta readers, and my writing has improved because of them.

    Keep writing

    Author's Response:

    I know, I'm sorry. But I am determined to get better at spelling and grammer if it kills me!  Well... maybe not of it kills me but you get the idea. ^^

    Hmm, withholding too much? You think so?  I only have one writing style but I can give it a shot I guess.  My main problem with all that is that my story is written depending on a character's perspective.  In other words, I can't tell you more than the character knows, you know?  Although DoA mentioned putting more PoV's in the story so I might try it that way.  Hadn't heard that opinion before hun so thank you. ^-^

    *Collapses and whines for the floor* But I'm impatient.... I can't wait several days for a chapter to get back to me I want to post it soon as.... *Ends whining*  Plus, she seems to be pretty busy lately... Maybe I could ask my friend.... *ponders*

    Oh right, review responce!  Thank ya chuckyhun. ^-^ I'll keep writing. And thank you very much for your constructive critisism, I know I can learn much from past mistakes but only if someone cares to point me in the right direction. Lol <3   


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