This story jumped around a bit too much for me, it just got confusing and it felt like I was trying to read the words on a rubber band that's wrapped up in a ball of rubber bands
|Title: Cry IV
||29 Jan 2014 12:29 am
|Reviewer: Moon star (Anonymous)
keep this story coming, certainly interesting!
you know i wonder why he hates muggles? he really shouldnt since he is more aware of the truth of the magical world and muggle.
This is amazing so far! I haven't read a Harry-in-Slytherin story like this before. I feel so bad for him!
Wow, I can tell this is going to be a tough story to read, emotionally, but I'm moving on to the next chapter. Beautifully written!
this was very very good!! can't believe it's over, but it's very good!!
Excellent story: you plot well, your characterizations are believable, and your choices for behavior are interesting indeed. I don't want to lose what I've written so far by going back to check, but my impression is this story is a year and a half to two years old? That means you're unlikely to go back for corrections. Nevertheless, for future reference, you should know that the informal way of agreeing is commonly spelled "yeah". When you don't add the "h" to the end of "Yea", it's not the word you're looking for. "Yea" is pronounced "Yay", and is a more formal, even Biblical way of saying "yes". The last verse of "O Come All Ye Faithful" begins "Yea, Lord, we greet Thee, born this happy morning..." So just remember to add an "h" to its end to make the informal "yeah", man! (Here endeth the lesson! ;-)
I was glad when it turned out Hermione was still trying to befriend Harry. Now I'm intrigued that Narcissa's story holds more than we ever knew. Carry on!
Hmm. Such an interesting difference, yet so sad, is Harry not having Ron or Hermione as friends. This story is already completed, yet I look forward to commenting on the rest of the chapters (at least here and there) as I read them.
|Title: Cry I
||25 Aug 2009 1:58 pm
|Reviewer: Vicky (Anonymous)
WOW! The summary was incredible, and it intrigued me right away! It's such an incredible idea, having Harry put in Slytherin, and the way everyone reacted to it is brilliantly written, if the actions themselves aren't at all brilliant. ;) It is excellent though, and very believable, for lack of a better word, that they would react as you've written it. Hated what they did to Hedwig! I love the way Severus is thinking of Harry, and that him being put in Slytherin made Severus see him as Lily's son, not James'. It's great that Harry is so clever, and I'm glad Hermione and Neville were nice to him. Even if it did turn out worse for him, I like the way they were behaving, it would have been very unrealistic for them to have shoved him. On the whole, I love it so far and must read on!