Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Chapter 2: Two Taken, One Returned 31 Dec 2012 12:32 am
Reviewer: MyDarkGuardian (Signed) [Report This]
    I think this is really good! Snape isn't OOC at all. Very snappy and angry, perfect Snape. Maybe add some inner monologue? Doing great!
Title: Chapter 2: Two Taken, One Returned 06 Feb 2009 11:51 pm
Reviewer: Snapegirl (Signed) [Report This]
    It's too bad Dumbledore didn't discover what was left of Voldy and kill him before they resurrected him.

    You did a good job with Severus.

    Oh and it should be "effects wear off" not "affects" and there was a part where you put an apostrophe in the plural of Aurors, you don't need a possessive there.
    "Fudge and the Aurors hurried over" is how it should read.

    Hope you don't mind my little corrections. I'm in my Sev-teacher mode today, it seems. LOL!

    Author's Response: I think I like your Sev-teacher mode, lol. I want people to correct me, and help me when I make mistakes, so thank you!
Title: Chapter 2: Two Taken, One Returned 26 Jan 2009 12:02 am
Reviewer: maripepi (Anonymous) [Report This]
    I really like it so far! I'll try to wait until you post the next chapter!

    I tried to pay attention to the mistakes, but I'm not English myself so this is kind of hard for me ... but anyway, I found some missing letters or words...

    " “Not at he (the) moment,” Dumbledore said. Moody grunted [...] " (in the middle of this chap.)

    " Snape could tell my (by) the coldness of his skin [...] " (at the end of this chap.)

    " Depending on how (he) got back [...]" (at the end of this chap.)

    Your Snape doesn't seem OOC to me, I think you're doing a great job. Continue on, I want the next chapter so bad =)!

    Author's Response: Thank you so very much for pointing those out. I edited the second chapter and posted it on fanfiction net, and now I'll go and edit the story here on P&S. I hope the third chapter will be an enjoyable read!
Title: Chapter 2: Two Taken, One Returned 24 Jan 2009 5:17 am
Reviewer: snarky Beth (Signed) [Report This]
    This looks to be another interesting story. I can't wait for the next chapter, it’ll be interesting to see how Tobias's discovery of Harry will go down, and your portrayal of the character. Harry’s bound to be confused and a little freaked out in his current state of mind, having lost his memory and all.

    I don't think you're making Snape OOC, his thoughts and actions sound right to me. But if you want a re-fresher to help you write him, you could always re-read some pages in the HP books (that’s that I’d do anyway). I wonder how his meeting with Voldemort will go (I‘m sure it wont be pleasant), stinks he has to return to the ugly evil bastard...

    Anyway, hope to read more soon! :D

    Author's Response:

    I think I'll do that, re-read some HP that is, :). I had to re-read Gof for chapter one, and I got so interested I forgot what I was supposed to be doing. Thanks for the idea, and the review! Chapter four you'll see Snape again, not too too long.
    Scorpia

Title: Chapter 2: Two Taken, One Returned 22 Jan 2009 1:32 am
Reviewer: Attackfish (Signed) [Report This]
    Snape is not too OOC. I love how you gave him a gut instinct. Watch the hipflask bug him.

    Author's Response: Thank you Attack!
Title: Chapter 2: Two Taken, One Returned 21 Jan 2009 5:15 pm
Reviewer: wynnleaf (Signed) [Report This]
    Well written so far, except for various minor typos. You probably should have a beta for those.

    I particularly like the way you weave so many of the details of GOF, yet change them a little to fit your story. Very believable.

    Author's Response:

    I do need a beta, finding one you don't have to share is the problem, hehe. I'll try to catch those typos before posting again, thank you!


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