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Reviews For Better Off Forgotten
You did a good job with Severus. Oh and it should be "effects wear off" not "affects" and there was a part where you put an apostrophe in the plural of Aurors, you don't need a possessive there. "Fudge and the Aurors hurried over" is how it should read. Hope you don't mind my little corrections. I'm in my Sev-teacher mode today, it seems. LOL! Author's Response: I think I like your Sev-teacher mode, lol. I want people to correct me, and help me when I make mistakes, so thank you!
I tried to pay attention to the mistakes, but I'm not English myself so this is kind of hard for me ... but anyway, I found some missing letters or words... " “Not at he (the) moment,” Dumbledore said. Moody grunted [...] " (in the middle of this chap.) " Snape could tell my (by) the coldness of his skin [...] " (at the end of this chap.) " Depending on how (he) got back [...]" (at the end of this chap.) Your Snape doesn't seem OOC to me, I think you're doing a great job. Continue on, I want the next chapter so bad =)! Author's Response: Thank you so very much for pointing those out. I edited the second chapter and posted it on fanfiction net, and now I'll go and edit the story here on P&S. I hope the third chapter will be an enjoyable read!
I don't think you're making Snape OOC, his thoughts and actions sound right to me. But if you want a re-fresher to help you write him, you could always re-read some pages in the HP books (that’s that I’d do anyway). I wonder how his meeting with Voldemort will go (I‘m sure it wont be pleasant), stinks he has to return to the ugly evil bastard... Anyway, hope to read more soon! :D Author's Response: I think I'll do that, re-read some HP that is, :). I had to re-read Gof for chapter one, and I got so interested I forgot what I was supposed to be doing. Thanks for the idea, and the review! Chapter four you'll see Snape again, not too too long.
Author's Response: Thank you Attack!
I particularly like the way you weave so many of the details of GOF, yet change them a little to fit your story. Very believable. Author's Response: I do need a beta, finding one you don't have to share is the problem, hehe. I'll try to catch those typos before posting again, thank you! |
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