Very beautiful and funny story. I absolutely loved your overly-protective Severus.
"Because you're you, and you're mine, and as dangerous as that is I want the rest of the world to know it."
That's just so...perfect.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
| Title: Omission or Commission
| 11 Feb 2015 7:38 pm
|
| Reviewer: Megan (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
I'm enjoying your story. I particularly like that you have shown Harry with behavioural, emotional and social problems which are common to the abuse you have suggested.
However, I have rated it 6 out of 10 because I feel there could be improvement in the writing, for example more realistic diaglogue (such as no ”duh” and using words uncommon to British people - nobody says "mind me" here). Additionally, I think writing style should convey tone rather than over reliance on capitalisation.
Characterisation could also be stronger.
| Title: Damn that Hat!
| 22 Aug 2014 3:52 am
|
| Reviewer: Jtz (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
That really was a awesome story
ahw, why didn't he take psycho with him? I like her already. Though I must admit that your addition of Kallie was awesome already
I'm still waiting for Harry to comment on the monster thing
| Title: A Dog, a Cat, a Harpy, a Bat, a Friend, and a Freak
| 14 Aug 2014 5:55 pm
|
| Reviewer: crotia (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Actually I'm feeling sorry for Flint.
| Title: Bad Blood and Bad Attitude
| 14 Aug 2014 3:16 pm
|
| Reviewer: crotia (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
|