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Reviews For Death Walk
*adds the story to favourites* Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading an reviewing my story. I've written more, since this and I still can't believe this was my first. I ha e to give credit to my lovely beta reader for her input.
Author's Response: thank you. the ending words were what made this story.
Author's Response: i feel the same way. thanks for reading and reviewing.
Author's Response: *Blushes* thanks Aut! i too wish that Snape apeared to Harry in Canon. Or that He lived. but i guess thats what FanFiction is for, Right! im glad you liked it!
Author's Response: i so glad you liked it! i loved writing it!
My one suggestion would be that lines 12 & 13 be combined, as all the dialog before and after those lines are alternating speakers. Although it's Harry saying both those lines, we initially think it's Snape saying "Which brings me back...I didn't want you to die." 'Huh? Oh--it's still HARRY', we think to ourselves. As readers, we stumble, since you've got the separate line AND the separate quotes, which is why we don't realize it's Harry still speaking. Move "Which brings me back..." to the previous line right after "Oh wait, you can't because you're dead," and the story will be perfect. A "10" for you. Author's Response: im so glad you like my story. and thanks for catching that mistake for me! i didn't even notice it. i fixed it now.
Author's Response: thanks Tabith! im glad you like it! i hope i did your Challenge justice! LOL
Nicely done. Author's Response: that's exactly why i kept the Snark and teasing light hearted. and because knowing the two of them they'd be so "weirded out" showing their feeling to each other that they'd need the Banter back and forth to show some sort of Normalacy.
I love the ending where Harry calls Snape a Gryffindor. I can just imagine the look on Snape's face and Harry's smirk as he takes off into the clearing. An excellent short story, and I hope you write more. Author's Response: that line was the Hardest of me to write actually! it made me cry!LOL im sure if Snape could, he would've Hexed Harry for that comment!LOL |
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