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Reviews For The many animagus of Harry potter
You should make him a Mouse Lemur next.
hawk/eagle penguin bear dog Llama snake Thanks in advance for updating your story soon!
Harry would never tell anyone what his animagus... is. Whenever you have question words in a sentence, asking a question like, what would happen if Ron knew what he became? it has to end in a question mark. I noticed a phrase that was wrong: "No one can ever learn of these" should be "No one can ever know." Keep writing, you will improve the more you try. There are lots of different websites that can teach you correct grammar and other things as well if you would like to learn.
Ron, Hermione, and he were working.... finding their "there" is a place, "their" belongs to people, and "they're" means they are. Are you not a native English speaker? It is very hard to write in English. Please ask around and find a beta to check over your work and help you. I was so glad that Harry was able to float down to the bottom of the astronomy tower, instead of falling to his death. Very cute.
Please make sure that every name starts with a capital letter, like Harry. Ron and Hermione were too busy.... "where" is a place and "were" is a way to be. Harry was taking a break from dating... not form dating. A form is a noun, either a piece of paper of questions that you fill out, or a shape. All the mistakes make this story very difficult to read, which is too bad because it would be a much better story if there weren't so many errors. I do like the inventive animagus forms.
Author's Response: Okay i will put them on my list. But i have a question, would you like a de-aging story where harry is turned into a toddler, and each chapter has a picture drawn like toddler harry drew it. If so can you help me get some ideas here are the pics i have so far. http://oi48.tinypic.com/wrjsqa.jpg and oi50.tinypic.com/sesgeq.jpg
Author's Response: Okay, i have two planed already but i'll put it on my list! Thanks for the review! |
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