Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Drifting
Title: The Room 17 Jul 2011 2:53 am
Reviewer: Nenefee (Signed) [Report This]
    Your characters are way off I think. I don't believe Lupin would ever give Snape Harry's diary as he knows Harry cannot stand him. And Snape if he read it wouldn't go around giving it to other people unless something vital was in it and even then he could just sum it up for them. He, as an intensely private person would understand the need for descretion.
    As it is, having people go through your diary hardly inspires trust - but we'll see how your Harry handles that when he hears about that.

    When would Harry have had time to make all those potions? If you have something like that in the story you might want to explain how he goes about things; I mean, when does he read all those books? Practice spells? Visit his secret room?

    Also, in my opinion the diary entries don't really read like diary entries at all, especially not those of a 11 to 15 year old boy. There is no emotion in it, and why would Harry write that diary if he only was recounting bare fact about the events that took place? Plus, it's quite the jump from 11 to 15, from child to teenager, which should be reflected in the entries. Incidentally, your dates are off by a year, too.

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