| Title: Chapter 16 The Spiral Case Knight´s Battle Move
| 24 Jan 2021 3:10 pm
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| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed)
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I’m fascinated by your storyline. You’ve got well-depicted characters that have the depth of their canon counterparts (or perhaps even more). I love Snape’s and Harry’s evolving interactions. Harry’s developing skills now that the Horcrux is gone are delightful, especially because they are unusual, but still feel authentic to the Wizarding world.
I am curious, are you not a native speaker of English? Overall, you have a good grasp of spelling and grammar, but I keep seeing word choice errors that look like someone who is not a native speaker was using a thesaurus to vary their words. For example, febrile means feverish, but only in a medical sense, whereas you used it in the figurative sense (feverish work to repair Hogwarts.) I’m also seeing words where a similar word is the correct one: an illness would affect someone, not attain them, or words that were once common but now not the norm, such as using pupil to refer to schoolchildren (even in the UK, student has become more prevalent for both school age students and university students. Pupil feels dismissive and archaic.) I also notice you using the infinitive of a verb where a gerund would be used and sometimes visa versa. (Example: “we need to prevent him from going”, rather than “we need to prevent him to go”.)
This is a delightful and engrossing story, despite the reader being occasionally jolted from the story by out of place words. I look forward to reading the rest!
| Title: Chapter 16 The Spiral Case Knight´s Battle Move
| 25 Apr 2015 9:54 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Wow, fantastic chapter! Haha using wands with their toes. I really love this development and exploration of theory and advanced magic. It is often missing from stories. Great job with this story!
| Title: Chapter 16 The Spiral Case Knight´s Battle Move
| 16 Apr 2015 9:33 pm
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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I love the new magicical entities but even more I love your Harry&Severus conversations they always have a good bite to them! Thank you
Author's Response: Thank you, I enjoy writing those parts in particular - I'm glad that it shows.
| Title: Chapter 16 The Spiral Case Knight´s Battle Move
| 15 Apr 2015 9:44 pm
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| Reviewer: tb_ll57 (Anonymous)
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Enjoyed all the magical theory in this. Very intriguing!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll develop some of the concepts further but will, however, avoid introducing too many new things, as I think there is a point where it becomes too much - it is, after all, the relationships and the characters that are most interesting to explore... but, with a scientific background, I cannot resist the temptation to do a little theory from time to time :-) I'm glad you appreciate!
| Title: Chapter 16 The Spiral Case Knight´s Battle Move
| 15 Apr 2015 5:07 am
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| Reviewer: teriwright (Signed)
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LOL, I see how Hagrid evaded harry's question as to who is comparing Harry to Voldemort. Turn about is fair play eh Hagrid? :-)
Author's Response: I reckon Hagrid can be quite pigheaded if he wants to :-)
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