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Reviews For Spiral of Trust
Sometimes during the chapter I felt like your narrator was too distant. Not sure if this makes sense, but I feel like it should seem he's part of the situation. Maybe you changed the perspective too much within the chapter? I'm not sure.. Ah, yes. Although I enjoy the political side, I hope there'll still be more academical and action/adventure to come. I know by now you'll go back to the parts you left open or didn't cover entirely, but by now I'm almost bursting with curiosity for some of those hahah. Oh. As for the last reviews, I don't think Harry is a doormat or anything. I always felt he kept a lot of stuff hidden, but he does have a temper and eventually explodes. Either with people he trusts (eg. Dumbledore or Ron and Hermione, like book 5) or people who know how to push him (eg. Snape, like first class). I guess I'm hoping he'll overcome this going from angry at Ginny to missing her enough that nothing else matters much. It's clear that he loves her, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't trust her enough to be his true self. As for Snape and Narcissa's conversation it isn't all that strange in itself; they are close after all. It's more about having it with so many people in range. They both seem too private to be having that conversation out in the open is what I meant. Sorry for leaving such a long comment mostly to explain myself. I think I've said this before, but I really enjoy this fic and look forward to your updates and you sort of seem to think all my comments are so hm, critical? harsh? Idk. Not what I intended them to be. They're more of a steam of consciousness than anything. Anyway, I'm excited to see how all the past little plots come together. I was considering how much Harry and Snape both 'evolved'. I hope they're able to find a more stable relationship in the end. I suppose having some resolution will help them both. XD Author's Response: Thanks for your long review :-) and don’t worry, I truly enjoy ’stream-of-consciousness’ reviews - because that is the best way to get a spontaneous reaction to the text. To have that input is very gratifying when trying to improve your writing and so I do try to understand what the reviewer means and what she/ he has picked up that might be improved in the text.
Your comment about the narrator being distant, for example, in the last chapter, is interesting. I had not thought about that, but I think I see what you mean. I believe that because there were so many people involved, I chose to write it a bit ’from above’, in order to survey the scene. But it might have been a good idea to ’descend’ and relate some of it from Harry’s point of view, for example, in the midst of the audience. It would have created more closeness. So that’s me being critical about my own disposition - you were just being helpful!
About the Snape-Narcissa scene, I think I get what you mean, now, and you’re right, there is something not right with Narcissa proceeding with her conversation in front of Mrs Steadfast who is a stranger to her (Harry is asleep - or is he? - and the others have left the room, so it is mainly Mrs Steadfast as an audience), but - now I’m going to try to justify myself again - Narcissa Malfoy is a difficult character. I think that she might be a little disturbed - some kind of personality disorder, in my mind - which might explain her conduct. I’ll see if I can develop that further. All of JK’s characters are so interesting, you want to delve into them all… and so your fan fic story expands and grows… But I promise to try to tie up most of the loose threads and bring this story to a proper end - in about ten chapters or so. In the meantime, please continue to enjoy the story!
This has been such an enjoyable read, although, I do sometimes wish that Snape and Harry could just get over the rest of their issues and be proper friends, already! I love that Snape is a qualified healer and has worked as one - and I do so adore that Harry is taking to healing, as well! I think he would be well suited to it. The concept of grief swallowers is wonderful, and I do like that it is only really something that can be done by someone well acquainted with grief from youth. Tragic, but fitting. In regards to the defense, I was very delighted to read it. It was very interesting to read and Hermione did well (of course!). Anyhow, I suppose I shall now have to await the next chapter. I am most concerned about Ginny and the apparent after-effects of the obbliviation treatment she may be starting to show. Looking forward to seeing how Snape's official trial goes! Author's Response: I’m glad you caught up! I suppose my chapters tend to be longish… I appreciate and sympathise with your feeling of impatience that Snape and Harry should just stop wrestling with their history and become friends. I assure you that I have felt the same, while writing this story. But I have stopped and told myself sternly that it would not be realistic to proceed too quickly, given that everything happened as in cannon. The abysm of differences that separated them initially must be overcome little by little in this story.
Author's Response: I believe that Hermione will become a terrific lawyer in the future! I'm not very familiar will legal procedures in real life, but as this is the magical world, I suppose I can make them up so that they suit the story ;-) I regarded this inquiry as sort of preparatory before the real trial. Remember that it was initially meant to be a rather quiet affair at the Ministry, just between the concerned parties and the justice and that it was Harry who persuaded Kingsley to bring it to Hogwarts and make it this big. It was clever, because Snape is not only on trial in front of Justice, is he? He's on trial in the press in front of the big public and therefore it’s a question not only of being convicted or not, but of which reputation he will live with for the remainder of his life.
Author's Response: Thank you. The scene was quite fun to write, although not very easy to sort out, with all the people present.
Author's Response: Thanks! That was helpful of you. Changed it staight away. I seem to have a spot of trouble in general with the conjugation of those spell verbs!
question: couldn't snape resign as headmaster in order for DD to be able to testify? If DD's portrait is no longer bound to be loyal to Snape as headmaster, then his testimony won't be suspect correct? Author's Response: Er *blushes* I didn't think about that, in all honesty. *Trying to make something up* Maybe that loyalty works as a lifelong immunity against critique, sort of, and that people will end up not trusting the portraits anyhow...?
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, Hermione did really well :-) |
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