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Reviews For Spiral of Trust
Author's Response: Thank you!
this story is great- i love all the ideas you have about magic and magic theory and some of the insights into the characters grief. my only criticism is the dialogue- i think it is very stilted. Ron and Harry often sounds OOC- have you thought about getting a beta if english isn't your first language? Author's Response: I have no doubts that the dialogue must sound stilted at times, considering that the longest period of time that I've been to an English speaking country was when I spent a week-end in London at the age of fourteen - and that was a long time ago! I would love to have a native English person beta my texts, but betas are hard to find... I have a friend who works professionally with translations from English to our language, who has beta:ed the first eleven chapters, but she has a lot of work to do, so I decided to post ahead, not to lose tempo in the story. I think that when writing the dialogue I have the choice between copying something that I have read at other places, with the risk of using the expressions in the wrong way, because I don't really have a feeling for orally spoken English, and it will probably sound weird or funny, or, as I suppose I'm doing now, writing as correctly as I possibly can, with the risk of sounding stilted... I don't suppose you would consider beta:ing ;-) ? If you're intent on reading the story until the end, I could post one chapter at a time ahead for you, and you could give me some suggestions how to improve the text? Just the remaining chapters?
Author's Response: Thanks. I, too, believe Ron will get used to having a brother who is gay - a lot of people seem to be able to process their prejudices, at least to some extent, when they're faced with the fact that someone in their family or immediate acquaintance is homosexual. |
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