|
Reviews For Spiral of Trust
This was amazingly well written. I knew Snape would go after Harry when he fell, but to imagine them fighting alongside together... and that finale! UGH! So good! So in character too-- while I craved it, I couldn't see Snape pouring out his heart like that. Author's Response: Oh, I like these kind of emotional responses - it feels like I have accomplished something... The scene between Snape and Harry in the end is one of my own favourite scenes in this story - so happy that you approved of it!
Author's Response: Great! Thank you for letting me know :-)
Author's Response: Yes, it was, all in all, a rather good outcome of the whole adventure, wasn't it?
Author's Response: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you will continue reading. I was more inexperienced when I started to write Sprial of Trust than when I wrote Surgery, but I hope you will enjoy the story anyway, I'm very attached to it as being my first story. Don't hesitate to get back to me with reviews :-)
Author's Response: :-)
Author's Response: Thanks! Only a few chapters left - I hope you'll enjoy the story til the end :-)
One suggestion: if you are not sure about a word, try using a simpler one, or get a native English speaker for a beta. These two paragraphs caused me to stumble: Professor McGonagall also declared that the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw in the afternoon was inhibited. Ginny was angry about the annulations, although everybody else felt that it was the natural thing to do. (Inhibiting is most often for emotions, implying repressed emotions. I suggest either cancelled or postponed. Annulation is a word in chemistry meaning to form rings. Cancellation (if cancelled) or postponement or delay (if postponed) would be fine. “It would do us all good to move outside and be forced to think about something else, instead of brooding and rummaging it all over and over again.” Rummaging is more often for items, rather than thoughts. I think you might have meant "ruminating on it all over again." or even "going over it over and over again." Author's Response: Thank you - I'm glad that you point things like that out. I lived in France for a while and sometimes I get things mixed up - only because the same words exists in English I take for granted that they have the same meaning, which they don't - 'annulation' and 'inhiber/ inhibit' are examples of that. Because I believe I think I know the meaning, I don't look it up in a dictionary, which, by the way, is no guarantee that you'll end up with the right word anyhow... I might have a tendency to go for the more complicated words and I think that you're right - it will not necessarily work out the best... I would really need a native English beta, but they don't exactly grow on trees, you know (expression used in my country :-) not sure whether it exists in English, meaning they are scarce, or busy - hard to get hold of anyhow)
Author's Response: I've kept Snape rather inaccessible and kind of 'secret' in this story hitherto. I hope that the last chapter (soon to come) will give a deeper insight into his internal struggles, his true feelings and thoughts.
Gosh, can't the Death Eaters give it a rest? And SNAPE! He's so wonderfully written here-- still SO torn and determined to protect Harry, and yet, he's growing. I can see it. That cliffhanger made me choke. Well done. Author's Response: Thank you! What a relief that somebody actually appreciated that difficult chapter!
Author's Response: Oh, all that was obvious to me when I wrote the text. I’m sorry I could not convey the logic of their actions better. I don’t think that Harry endangered Snape’s position, because either the Shiftings believed Snape was on their side and had duped Harry and therefore expected Harry to behave the way he did, or they didn’t believe Snape was one of them even to begin with, and then it did not matter what Harry said anyway. Harry’s behaviour does not seem to harm Snape - the fact that Snape is contradicting and humiliating Harry only adds to his credibility, until he is asked to cast the killing curse on Frankiss, which Snape cannot bring himself to do. Harry, more than Snape himself, has already realised that Snape is incapable of going back to the position as a spy (he told Snape so already in chapter 41) and does not think that playing along is a solution that will get them anywhere. Remember that in this story, Snape was mainly used by Voldemort during the war for collecting intelligence. The brutality of his days as a ’real’ Death Eater lies far back in time and even then he had difficulties killing (described in chapter 32 in parallell to Harry’s adverse reaction to the Avada Kedavra in Paris). Seriously considering to force himself to kill Healer Frankiss fundamentally affects Snape. Until then, he actually believed he still had it in him. I’ve tried to show to what point the outcome of Snape’s trial shook him. He obviously thought that the only solution would be to be sentenced to Azcaban, let himself be rescued by the Shiftings and resume his role as a spy. Now faced with the reality of the fact that he cannot play this role once again, he deflates completely - thence the sense of defeat, thence the freezing reaction. |
Powered by eFiction 3.5 |