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Reviews For Undiscovered
I think you are writing Snap's character well, congratulations, a feat many fail to accomplish. So, I remember you saying that there might be torture somewhere later in the story. Please tell me it's Harry who gets tortured!!! Also, I think Severus isn't going to be too happy to know that Harry used so much balm for just a bruise on the cheek. Author's Response: Thank you so much for the feedback! I might go back and revise the car part because i think your right, I just couldn't wait to get Harry away from the Dursleys. Thank you for saying I write Snape in character, I often worry about if I'm keeping them in character and your reassurance means a lot. I don't want to give to much away but.... Yes it is Harry who gets tortured ;)
Author's Response: Thank you!!! It means a lot to hear that I've managed to keep them in character, I hope I continue to do so :)
If you want readers to care about what you're writing, you must first care. This means editing, reading it through for mistakes so that people don't get sidetracked by them while trying to enjoy the story. Vacuum doesn't need to be capitalized unless it is the beginning of the sentence. Some lines of speech begin with " .... " while others begin with '...' this isn't interchangeable, you need to pick one. All sentences should begin with a capital letter. I liked the idea of the story, and when there aren't errors, the text seems well written. I'm just too easily distracted by the errors that are present. Author's Response: Thanks for the constructive criticism, I've gone back and edited the first chapter so it's much more readable. I agree I made quite a few spelling mistakes, mostly because I was excited to publish and should've taken more time to edit. In future chapters I will try correct my spelling and grammar much more before I publish :)
Author's Response: Thanks! will try to impress :)
Author's Response: Will try to update regularly and hope to meet your expectations :) |
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