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Reviews For Antiquity's Corollary
I suppose you shouldn't have really worried about your infrequent updating. I suppose if I had found out that you had a whole bunch of chapters posted elsewhere, I would just have gone and checked out fanfiction.net. So I bet that's what your readers did. I mean your story is so good, I'd search everywhere for more... you don't have more chapters hiding somewhere do you? (more than 36 that is). Well about this chapter. I loved how you had Snape unwilling to leave Harry's side. A bit foolish, but hey, Madame Pomfry wasn't able to do much more anyway. I really liked how you had Snape take Harry's hand, like it was a lifeline and a "connection." And I like how you have Harry not trusting the healer, looking around for someone else... and then he went to sleep after Snape said it was okay. That was sweet. Author's Response: Well, actually, I have said that I post on ff.net- but I get people saying that they don't like that site, so they go on here instead. No... no more chapters hiding, lol. The most updated version is always on ff.net. I haven't even finished chapter 37 yet! Well, I figure, Harry's just gone through a horrible experience, and Snape saved him. If his word in this moment isn't true, then I don't know whose is! Severus was also feeling rather protective- first of all, he just spent so much time protecting harry, and he wanted to stay and make sure his work didn't go to waste. Two, (and I probably mentioned this, but I'll say it again) he's still shaken by the fact that he... ahem, 'could have had a son'... that fact is definitely activating his paternal instincts, even if he has absolutely no idea.
lol you left people with this cliffy when you had more chapters waiting! lol. I would have died... oh wait, that's the a/n, so you must have left them at last chapter... wait that's equally as bad! Anyway, I have two suggestions for you, if you're still going through and editing you first chapters that is... In chapter 8, you might want to consider adding a paragraph that has Snape thinking up his escape plan, before Snape gives Kingsley directions. Like he considers sending Kingsley back to have him call Snape on the little coin/portkey. That way you'll clarify how the portkey only works one way. But then Snape strikes that idea, noting how serious Harry's condition is and how he shouldn't be transported magically. That may clarify things? My second suggestion is that you clarify how Voldemort's little hideout is protected. It seems very close to Hogwarts (just across the lake) and Snape knows exactly how to get there (and maybe Kingsley too). It seems odd that they would know the location and not send a bunch of aurors/order members to attack. Especially since there are a bunch of other tortured individuals trapped there. You might explan why they can't go there later on in the story and I just don't remember. But if you didn't... I propose one easy idea, that it's protected under a fidelius charm and although it's very close, Snape can't tell Dumbledore where it is. And then Kingsley... well he doesn't really have to know where he is, he just popped in after all... and he always leaves via his portkey? Oh and Harry won't remember where it is, because he wasn't quite so aware of his surroundings... Author's Response: Suggestion numero uno does sound like something worth incorporating, I will give it some thought. Suggestion numero dose (I dunno spanish, forgive me.)... I'm almost positive I mentioned that they had not destroyed the hide out because it gave Snape an easy way to escape if need be (and he could, if absolutely necessary, take people with him). He and Dumbledore decided this. Also, consider this- if a team of aurors burst in and cleared the place out... don't you think Voldemort would be mighty suspicious about just how they found out where his little hideout was? I'm almost positive I mentioned these things... I will have to go back and check soon.
Author's Response: Kingsley has always struck me as the perfect person to do this sort of thing with Snape, if you want to theorize that he's more involved in the order than the books really imply. See, the way he is described reminds me of a friendlier, darker (in terms of skin tone, lol) version of Snape... I don't know, I just felt he was good. Also, he's one of the more serious people in the order, which makes me think Snape would be more likely to put up with him. Author's Response: I forgot to add- I'm really glad you mentioned the Lucius thing. I had someone comment awhile ago that she didn't think Voldemort would trust Snape so much with this- and obviously, he doesn't. He trusts them both together, however, because he's too confident to think that they would have any sort of mutiny going on. Which, they don't, so I suppose he's right.
Author's Response: Yes, does sound horrible- most things Voldemort commands are. You hit on the point I would make about Voldemort trusting Snape in the next review, so I won't comment on that, lol. I do sometimes feel that authors overdo it on the torture and whatnot, because they keep going back to the point later. Do the torture and skip the result, or do the result and skip the torture, I say. Doing both implies sadism, if you ask me.
Author's Response: (Azkaban)
The begining of the chapter is so funny... the books on Albus' table lol. And then it gets really really sad. And I really can't believe that Dumbledore said Snape's baby died because of what he did to Lily. That just seems so cruel! I know you said Dumbledore is a nice guy in your story, but that seems a bit much for him. Well he can feel guilty about his choices later... I wonder though, where'd Dumbledore get these memories? From Lily?... and they've just been stored or something? Author's Response: Let me explain- Dumbledore was not doing this as any sort of an act of vengeance for what Severus did to Lily. He was doing it for several reasons. One, he was still wavering in his thoughts about whether or not Severus should know. Two, he had no idea how Sev would react- hence the books. Now, if he had told him before, it wouldn't have fallen on him- Sev wouldn't have had to know that Dumbledore had kept it from him for so long. Once Sev saw the memories, however, Dumbledore knew that he would be absolutely irate with him for keeping this huge secret. At that moment, he couldn't come out and tell him, because he knew he would be risking the trust he and Sev have built. He needed more time to figure it all out.
Author's Response: Well, I can't imagine it would be particularly enjoyable to go to Hogwarts when you knew none of your friends would be there... especially if you knew that Snape would be swooping around the place, trying to take points before term for your misgiving over the summer. I was actually rather surprised, when I read HBP, that JK didn't write that much grieving in! I mean, I write this from a perspective that I lost someone I considered a parent at a younger age, and got over it when I was about 15... it took such a long time, and the pain continued for so long... I understand that. I don't think you can just brush it off. Being older, I'm sure the wound will close a lot quicker, and after a while he won't think about it as much, but it's still bound to hurt. I don't have him sitting and crying in corners and such, but he does need the grieving time, in my opinion.
Your Dumbledore doesn't seem evil/bad or whatever in this chapter. I like that he listened to both Snape and Harry and then lectured both of them. It seems as though a lot of stories have Harry painted as a saint and Snape as the bad guy. But they both have their faults... and I'm glad that you let Dumbledore point it out. Oh and I forgot to mention this for the last chapter. You had Dudley wanding off with his thug friends (ch. 1) and then later he was back in the house. It seems odd, like I didn't think enough time had passed... but it's not really that big of a deal, just wanted to point it out. It was enjoyable to see Dudley all trembly.... Author's Response: Yes, I tend to have flawed characters, which I like- and I think that it does need to be pointed out at times. Hmm... you do have a point about the elapse of time. I never really went back and explained that- it's kind of hard to fit into the story context stupid little things like the fact that Dudley said goodbye to his friends during this time, because it's not from Dudley's POV and I really kind of write from Harry's perspective (And later, Snape's)... a bit like JK Rowling does. I don't write what Harry doesn't know unless it's something that has to do with Severus... or occasionally Dumbledore.
Author's Response: Lol, well, I did try to make him Snapish. It bothers me when he's not... you know how that goes. I also liked Harry's solution to his problem- I thought it was clever. I try not to go with my bias and depict him as an idiot, as some people do. He's not an idiot... he's just a bit irrational.
Author's Response: Well, first of all, thank you for doing that! I really do appreciate the feedback- I haven't gotten much on this site, for all that I've recieved on fanfiction.net. Yes, this chapter was rather... I'm not sure how to describe it, but having people comment on how out of character it seemed and stuff like that irritated me... because you don't get the gist of it all until later. No, I didn't post only this chapter at first- I posted the first 5, simply because I personally hate when people post one chapter of a story to start. Also, I like to develop things... so I knew the next few chapters were going to be kind of slow, and I didn't want people to get bored. |
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