Harry stared moodily out the window of his bedroom at number four, Privet Drive. He wanted to leave already, though he had only been there a few days, but Lupin had convinced him to stay a while longer.

Lupin had begun writing him upon his return to Privet Drive and had become a sort of confidant. Harry had told Lupin of his plans to not return to Hogwarts and to go to Godric's Hollow. Lupin had been trying to talk him out of it, but he was determined to not go back. He had a mission to complete, and that was his first priority.

Ron and Hermione had both written him, though he hadn't written back. Both letters lay unopened on his desk. He knew they would only be pleas to rethink his decision and go to the Burrow or Hogwarts with them. He knew he wouldn't really need them; in the end, it would just be him and Voldemort, no one else.

As he stared out the window, he caught sight of some bushes rustling. Probably just an Order member, he thought mournfully. Suddenly, he heard a loud crack and spun around, his wand aimed and ready in seconds. He lowered it, however, when he saw that it was Lupin.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I was sent to see if you would consent to at least going to the Burrow for the wedding," said Lupin. "Ron and Hermione both invited you, but they said they hadn't gotten a reply."

"Oh," said Harry. "I didn't feel like opening their letters."

"Well, if you'd prefer to stay here, you could just go to the Burrow for a few days, then return here," suggested Lupin.

Harry thought for a moment. Going to the Burrow for only a few days wouldn't mess up his plans. "I'll go,' he said, "but I'm coming back afterwards.'

"Okay," said Lupin. "I'll be back to take you there the day after tomorrow, about this time, all right?"

"Sure," agreed Harry.

"Now, I must be going. Tonight's the full moon and I must go pick up my Wolfsbane," said Lupin and Disapparated.

Harry resumed staring out the window. The wedding didn't really interest him, but he would go for Ron and Hermione. That way he could tell them both goodbye and leave without them trying to follow him to Godric's Hollow.

He caught sight of a bird flying in the distance and as it grew closer, he realized that it was an owl. he moved aside to let it in . The owl flew inside and deposited a thick envelope on his desk before quickly flying away again.

Who would possibly be sending him a letter now? Curiously he picked up the envelope and ripped it open. He pulled out a sheet of parchment and looked at the unfamiliar handwriting.

Harry Potter,

I see you have managed to elude capture once more. If they had been smart, my fellows would have captured you as well as destroying that pathetic Muggle-loving fool. Are you missing him? You'll only lose more friends, so you might as well get used to it. My Lord plans on saving your death for last. All of your pathetic friends will die before you.

Oh yes, my Lord has sent a gift. It's in the envelope.

Enjoy,

Bellatrix Lestrange

Harry set the letter down and picked up the envelope, curious about what Voldemort had sent him. He tipped the envelope over and shook it.

A small cloud of dust appeared and Harry sneezed violently. When he opened his eyes a silver chain with a tiny dragon charm lay amidst a small pile of fine gray powder. Wondering why Voldemort would have sent him a necklace, he quickly wrote a letter to McGonagall, since he didn't know who else he could contact.

Dear Professor,

I got a letter from Bellatrix Lestrange with a necklace from Voldemort. What should I do with it?

Harry Potter

Harry sent the letter off with Hedwig. he watched her fly off, then wandered over to look at the necklace again. He didn't touch it, as it might be a Portkey. What was Voldemort up to now?

His scar burned slightly and he sat down on his bed. "He's happy," he murmured softly. The pain from his scar began to give him a headache, so he lay down and quickly fell asleep.

He was awoken some time later by Hedwig gently nipping his ear. "I'm up, Hedwig," said Harry. Hedwig flew over to his desk and began hooting loudly. Harry got up to see what she wanted and saw that the necklace was gone. In its place was a folded piece of parchment. He unfolded it and began to read.

Mr. Potter,

I have taken the necklace for further study. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious and I will see you in two days.

Professor McGonagall

So that's where the necklace had gone. Why had Voldemort sent it to him? If it wasn't a Portkey, then what was the point of sending the necklace to him? Shaking his head, he checked his watch and saw that it was time for dinner. He headed downstairs, but caught one whiff of whatever his aunt was cooking and felt nauseous. He went back up to his room crawled into bed, where he tried to calm his feelings of sickness. The feeling only got worse, but Harry was spared by sleep.

~*~*~

"Should we wake him up?"

"I don't know."

Where were those voices coming from? He struggled to clear his foggy mind and remember what was going on.

"Come on, Harry, wake up." He knew that voice. Lupin. Harry slowly blinked open his tired eyes and found the blurry shapes of Lupin and Tonks.

"Professor, what are you doing here? The full moon-"

"Harry, you've been unconscious for two days. Your aunt had to borrow Hedwig to write to us," said Lupin.

"Two days?" asked Harry incredulously. That wasn't possible. He shook his head to try and clear it, but only succeeded in making the room spin crazily. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He relaxed, ready to fall asleep, but a cool hand on his forehead jolted him out of drowsiness.

"Remus, he's burning up," said Tonks.

"We'll need to change our plans. He can't go to the Burrow in this condition," said Lupin. "We'll have to go to plan B."

Even in his weakened state, Harry knew what they meant. Hogwarts.

"No, not Hogwarts," he murmured.

"Shh, Harry," said Tonks softly. "We're going to take you to get some help."

He felt something soft pressed against his arm and then the sickening spinning sensation of Portkey travel. He landed on a hard floor on his knees and tumbled forwards, unable to hold himself up.

"Harry, are you all right?" asked Lupin.

"M'fine," he mumbled as he lay on the cold floor. It felt good to his overly-warm body.

"Harry, can you stand?' asked Lupin.

"M'fine," he repeated. He felt hands wrap around his arms and felt a burning sensation run through his stomach and head. "No," he cried. "Don't touch me."

"It's all right, Harry. Calm down."

"No! Let go!" he demanded and tried to fight the hands. Exhaustion won out, however, and Harry quickly tumbled into darkness.

~*~*~

When Harry woke again, he was in a small room, laying on a bed He fumbled for a moment looking for his glasses and when he put them on, he saw Tonks standing in a corner of the room, doing something.

"Wotcher, Harry," she said cheerfully, but Harry could tell she was worried.

"Where are we?" he asked. He could swear he remembered something about going to Hogwarts.

"Well, Harry, you won't like it, but we had to-"

"No, I don't want to be here!"

"Harry, you have to calm down. You've been very sick, and you need to be-"

"No, I want to go back! Take me back!"

"Harry, just settle down. I'll get Remus," said Tonks firmly.

Harry frowned, but obeyed. Tonks left the room, leaving the door half-open behind her. Several minutes later, he heard a gasp, followed by "Expelliarmus!"

Harry climbed out of bed and walked unsteadily out to the hallway, where Lupin had Tonks at wand point and had her wand in his left hand.

"Professor, what are you doing?" asked Harry.

Lupin smiled. "Obeying my Master," he said with obvious glee.

Harry slowly reached for his wand. This man wasn't Lupin.

"Expelliarmus!" said "Lupin" and Harry's wand flew out of his pocket. Harry lunged for it, but it slipped out of his fingers and he landed hard on his right foot. He gasped in pain and tumbled to the floor. As "Lupin" advanced on his, Harry saw Tonks, who had apparently been forgotten, sneaking up behind "Lupin." Harry heard soft creak and "Lupin" spun around.

Within seconds, Tonks had been stunned and lay unconscious on the floor. Harry struggled to his feet, trying to put as little weight as possible on his injured foot. Harry gasped in shock as Lupin's dark brown hair began to lengthen and lighten.

Harry narrowed his eyes and hissed, "Malfoy."

Lucius smirked. "Took you long enough to figure it out, didn't it? That does not matter, though. Your precious werewolf will be dead soon and you will be wishing for death."

"Where is he?" demanded Harry.

"What does it matter? He will be dead shortly."

Silver. "Silver," Harry whispered.

"Ah, so you were smart enough to figure it out," said Lucius. "He will die, and you can't do a thing to save him, just as you couldn't save your precious godfather or that Muggle-loving fool."

Harry heard a soft pop behind him and spun as fast as he could with his injured foot, but stumbled and toppled to the floor. He winced in pain and looked up to see someone dressed all in black advancing on Lucius.

"Potter, look out!" the person hissed and Harry dragged himself to the side, but not quick enough to escape a cloud of fine gray powder. He coughed and sneezed violently as he tried to rub the dust out of his eyes. When his vision cleared, he saw Lucius bound tightly with ropes.

The stranger walked over to him and asked, "Are you all right?"

"No, my foot-"

"I'll take you to St. Mungo's, but let me get the werewolf first," said the stranger.

"All right," said Harry. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. Even with his eyes closed, he still felt as though he was being sucked into a dizzying whirlpool. He moaned softly before allowing himself to succumb to the darkness.

Lupin paced around Harry's small private room in St. Mungo's. After the attack a man in black had rescued him from the room he had been locked in, surrounded by silver. He had been careful to stay away from it, but there had been some close calls, and being in the proximity of so much silver had weakened him, though it was nothing a good dose of Pepper-Up Potion couldn't cure.

The strange man had provided him with a Portkey to St. Mungo's, and they had been there for three days, though Harry hadn't gotten much better. If anything, he seemed to be getting sicker. The Healer in charge of Harry said that Harry simply had the flu, but Harry hadn't responded to any of their treatment, and he was starting to become suspicious of the Healer.

He was beginning to think this was all tied in with Voldemort somehow. But why hadn't he just Apparated in while Lucius had Harry and killed him or had Malfoy do it for him? None of this made any sense.

~*~*~

Several days later, Harry had regained consciousness several times, but he had been disoriented and was still no better than when he'd been brought in.

As he watched Harry's still form, he heard tapping on the window and looked up to see an unfamiliar gray owl perched on the windowsill, waiting patiently to be let in. He stood up and opened the window to let the bird in. It flew over to Harry and dropped and envelope onto the bed, then flew away out the window.

Lupin picked up the envelope and saw Harry's name written on it, with no return address. Feeling extremely suspicious, he decided to take it to Minerva McGonagall. Taking one last glance at Harry, he Disapparated. He reappeared in the room where Order meetings now took place and found a meeting in progress.

“Sorry to interrupt, but this arrived for Harry at St. Mungo's. I thought it was rather suspicious, so I brought it here,” said Lupin, holding out the envelope.

Professor McGonagall stood up and took the envelope. She slit it open with her wand and tipped it over. A fine gray powder spilled out onto the table. McGonagall poked her wand at it, but nothing happened.

“Well, as I was saying, Mr. Potter received a necklace prior to leaving Privet Drive. I noticed that there was dust like this with it when I went to retrieve it,” said McGonagall, holding up a necklace with a dragon charm. “This leads me to believe that the necklace was only a distraction, and this dust is the reason he is sick. We will need to remove Mr. Potter from St. Mungo's immediately and isolate him so that he cannot get sicker.”

Immediately after she spoke, there was a loud pop, and within seconds, every person in the room had their wands pointed at a folded piece of parchment. McGonagall prodded at the parchment with her wand, softly uttering spells Several minutes later, she put her wand away and picked up the parchment. She opened it up and began to read.

"Dear Order members,

The illness that Potter is experiencing is due to a dehydrated potion that was created by a number of the Dark Lord's followers. It is designed to weaken him considerably, but continued exposure will sap him of his magical core, rendering him helpless as a Muggle. He will need to be taken to a safe place immediately, if he has any chance of recovering. I will collect the antidote and you will receive it shortly."

McGonagall stopped reading and frowned at the parchment. "There's no name," she said.

"Well, it could be the person that captured Lucius for us," suggested Remus.

"Perhaps," said McGonagall. "In any event, we need to remove Harry from St. Mungo's immediately. Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, and Alastor, I would like you to go fetch Harry. This will take you to Grimmauld Place, which has been rewarded with even more protections," said McGonagall, holding out the dragon necklace. Tonks took it and the group promptly Disapparated.

They reappeared in Harry's room. Harry looked worse than when he'd left; his face flushed and coated with a light coat of sweat. As the group drew nearer to him, Lupin could hear Harry's labored breathing and could see gray flecks in his hair and on the bed.

"We need to get him out of here now," said Tonks.

"I'll guard the door," said Moody.

Kingsley picked up Harry and Tonks held out the Portkey. They all touched it, then Tonks let the dragon touch Harry's arm. They reappeared in a small bedroom in Grimmauld Place and Kingsley gently placed Harry on the bed.

“We need to get the dust off of him,” said Tonks and pulled out her wand. “Scourgify.”

None of the dust vanished and Tonks swore. Kingsley waved his wand and Harry's pajamas were replaced with new one, and then they began the task of brushing the rest of the dust off of Harry's body.

Ten minutes later, they had gotten rid of all the dust that they could see, but Lupin worried whether it would be enough. He couldn't lose Harry, not so soon after losing Sirius and Dumbledore. He and Tonks settled in to wait for Harry to wake up and the others went ahead to report to the Order and collect the antidote.

~*~*~

Some time later, Moody appeared carrying a small wooden box.

“Here's the antidote. You're to give him one vial every six hours until the entire box is used up,” said Moody, handing the box to Lupin. “I need to return now, but someone should be by later to check up on you,” he added before Disapparating.

“We should wait to give him the first dose until he wakes up,” suggested Tonks.

“Yeah, that would probably be best,” agreed Lupin.

They had a long wait before Harry finally opened bloodshot, dazed eyes.

“Harry, we have the antidote for you,” said Lupin, holding up a vial of nearly black liquid so that Harry could see it. “We need you to drink all of this.”

“'kay,” Harry mumbled. Lupin held the vial to Harry's lips and the boy swallowed. Harry's eyes closed again as Lupin vanished the empty vial.

“Are you all right, Harry?” asked Lupin softly.

“M'fine,” said Harry without opening his eyes.

Tonks patted his shoulder gently. “You'll be better soon, I promise.”

~*~*~

Days went by, with Tonks and Lupin dutifully giving Harry the antidote, and he was slowly getting better. Professor McGonagall had finally decided to let Harry have come company while he recovered, and had provided Ron, Hermione, and Ginny with a Portkey to Grimmauld Place. They would be staying for a couple of weeks, then return to the Burrow. Harry would most likely be staying at Grimmauld Place, at least until he managed to convince McGonagall to let him go to work trying to defeat Voldemort.

Harry slowly opened his eyes to a blurry, dimly-lit room. He fumbled for his glasses a minute before finding them on a table beside the bed.

As he climbed out of bed, he heard voices. He walked over to the door and listened carefully. Was that Ron and Hermione? Had he been taken to the Burrow? No, Lupin wouldn't have gone against his wishes. Or would he?

Harry hurried over to the solitary window and looked out. No, he thought as he sagged against the windowsill. No! No, Godammit, no!

He spun around and slumped against the wall, feeling all traces of strength sapped from his body. Why had they brought him here, to Sirius' old house? Lupin knew he didn't want to come back here.

Desperately, he clenched his eyes shut and tried to Apparate, but the sickening feeling didn't come. Instead, he was forced to his knees by a dizzy feeling. He panted lightly as he realized what was going on. They were going to keep him here. They weren't going to let him leave, to go on his mission.

Harry stormed over to the door and flung it open. His legs shook slightly at seeing the familiar walls, but he stood his ground.

“Harry, are you all right?” asked Lupin softly.

“You have the nerve to ask me if I'm okay after bringing me here?” snarled Harry.

“We had no--”

“I don't care. You promised not to bring me here. You lied to me. I HATE YOU!” he screamed and re-entered his room, slamming the door behind him. He leaned against it, breathing heavily. Angrily, he started pacing. He wouldn't let them keep him here. He wouldn't. There had to be a way out of here.

As he stalked past his bed for the third time, he noticed that his trunk had been placed at the foot of his bed. The Invisibility Cloak. He could use it to escape.

Harry opened the lid and started rifling through the contents. Ten minutes later he realized the horrible truth. His cloak was gone.

Desperately, he overturned his trunk. As he searched through it, he discovered that everything he'd hidden under the loose floorboard at Privet Drive wasn't in his trunk.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he grabbed a wrapped parcel, intent on flinging it against the wall. He released the package with a wince and stared with grim fascination at the shard of glass stuck in the palm of his hand.

He swallowed hard before tugging the glass out of his hand. Blood flowed freely and he had to bite his lip to keep from gasping. He quickly grabbed an old shirt out of the mess on the floor and pressed it to his hand.

“Shite,” he breathed, his hand shaking slightly. He leaned against the bed and kept the shirt pressed to the cut.

Finally, after several long minutes, he lifted the shirt and found that the bleeding had slowed. He dabbed gingerly at the sticky blood that covered his hand and found that the cut wasn't as bad as it had looked. It didn't hurt at all now, he soon realized. He continued cleaning off his hand and when it was nearly clean, he began putting everything back in his trunk, though he put aside the package that contained the glass.

Harry set the package on his bed and headed for the door again. Surely they wouldn't lock him in his room? He tried the handle and found it unlocked. Harry opened the door and hesitantly peered into the hallway. Finding it deserted, he ventured out a few steps.

Not even five steps away from his room, he stopped and looked around. This was Sirius' house. The very place Sirius had been trapped in before he'd died was where he would be trapped too before he had to meet his fate.

Oh God, he thought and rushed back to his room. He sank onto his bed, suddenly unable to hold himself up any longer. They were going to do exactly what they had done to Sirius to him. And now, Dumbledore wasn't here to save him. He shook his head. No, he wouldn't let them trap him here.

As he shook his head, light caught the bit of glass he'd cut himself on and captured Harry's attention. He picked up the blood-covered glass and carefully examined it. No, he couldn't kill himself, that would be the easy way out. But here was something they couldn't take away, not like they had his freedom.

He lifted the glass and held it to his left wrist. After a moment of hesitation, he slid it across his pale skin and saw more of his blood rise and spill out through the smooth cut.

“Harry?” came a voice through the door. Lupin. He swore softly and pressed the bloody shirt to his wrist.

“What?” he yelled as he tossed the shirt into his trunk and shut it.

“Can I talk to you?” asked Lupin.

“Sure,” said Harry, knowing that Lupin was sure to come in anyways. The door opened and Lupin came in, looking slightly apprehensive.

“Harry, I want to apologize for bringing you here, but it is the safest place you can be right now and the man who gave us the antidote suggested it, so that you would be safe,” said Lupin.

“I understand,” said Harry.

“Professor McGonagall would rather you stay here until you're fully recovered and perhaps a bit longer, instead of leaving right away and trying to destroy Voldemort.”

“Isn't that my first priority, though?” said Harry.

“No, your well-being is your first priority. Voldemort can't do any worse than he's already done,” said Lupin.

“That's true,” sighed Harry. He would have to cater to their wishes and stay, at least a little longer. “I'll stay, then.”

“Well, now that that's settled, you have some visitors,” said Lupin. He stood up and headed for the door. As he left, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny entered.

“What are you three doing here?” asked Harry.

“Keeping you company, of course,” said Hermione.

“But there's another reason to be here,” added Ginny.

“Why else would you be here, then?” asked Harry.

“Well, I've been doing research and I found out that that veil Sirius fell through is a portal to the Realm of the Dead. If you fall through, it kills you,” said Hermione.

“I already know that he's dead,” said Harry, becoming irritated by her bringing this up. Sirius was dead and he wasn't coming back, along with Dumbledore.

“But Sirius didn't die,” said Hermione softly.

“Stop this! Sirius is dead! Why do you have to keep doing this to me! Sirius and Dumbledore are dead and there's no way to bring them back!” Harry yelled. “Get out of my room!”

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny quickly exited his room and shut the door behind them. Harry jumped off the bed and paced. Why did everyone insist on tormenting him?

~*~*~

“Oh no,” Hermione muttered. She looked like she was going to cry.

“What's wrong?” asked Lupin.

“We may have a way to bring Sirius back, but Harry doesn't believe us,” said Ron, his arm around Hermione's shoulders.

“What?” asked Lupin. If there was any way possible to bring Sirius back, Dumbledore surely would have told them.

“We'd better sit down and I'll explain everything,” said Hermione. They headed downstairs and sat on old, worn chairs in the living room.

“Now, as I was saying, we may have a way to bring Sirius back,” said Hermione.

“What about Dumbledore?” asked Lupin.

“We can't bring him back because of certain criteria the person has to meet.”

“And these criteria are?” asked Lupin.

“First off, they have to have been sent through the portal directly into the Realm. Second, the person has to be an Animagus or anything where the person can change form. The third part is where we have a problem. We need someone who desperately wants Sirius back, as they will be the person who does the ritual to pull the person from the veil. We were going to use Harry for that, since he would want Sirius back so badly,” said Hermione. She was silent for a moment, then began staring intently at him.

“What?” asked Lupin, feeling slightly disconcerted.

“I think you would work instead of Harry.” Hermione grabbed several books from the floor near her feet and rifled through them. She held up a bit of parchment.

“Yes, a god-relative, a relative, or a close friend,” she said breathlessly. “So, all we need is a way into the Ministry.”

“I know,” said Ginny. “We can pretend we want a tour of the building, like, oh, what do the Muggles call it? A fielding trip. Yes, a fielding trip for those of us interested in a job at the Ministry. I bet we can get my dad to help us.”

“Good idea, Ginny,” said Ron.

“I don't think we should tell Harry that we're attempting this,” said Hermione. “From the way he reacted when I brought up Sirius, I don't think it's a good idea.”

“I don't think we should tell him either,” said Lupin.

He'd hate to see Harry's reaction if he found out what they were doing. It was better to do it this way, though.

Over the course of an hour, they finalized their plans. If they were lucky, Sirius would be back by September first. That left them plenty of time to get ready.

Lupin helped Ron, Hermione, and Ginny gather up the books and parchment, then said, “I'm going to go check on Harry.”

He quietly entered Harry's room after knocking garnered only silence. Harry was sleeping fitfully, muttering softly as he tossed and turned. Lupin gently laid a hand on Harry's head.

“Get better soon, Harry,” he whispered.

~*~*~

Shortly after closing his eyes, Harry opened them to find himself standing in a dimly-lit room.

“You,” he hissed as he caught sight of Voldemort, his face seeming to glow in the darkness. Harry reached for his wand, only to mutter, “Fuck,” when he remembered that it was back in Privet Drive. “Where are we?” Harry asked, confused by the surroundings and hoping to keep Voldemort's mind off whatever he had planned to do.

“Why don't you tell me what you think,” said Voldemort.

Sadicious bastard. No, he wouldn't give into the man. He was only playing mind games.

“What? You don't like games?” asked Voldemort, smirking slightly.

“Stop messing with my head!” yelled Harry. A jet of yellow light send him to his knees, gasping.

“Do not presume to think you can order me around,” hissed Voldemort. “I have all the power here. I have a wand and I have knowledge that you could never dream of having.”

Harry raised his head and glared defiantly. “I don't care what power you think you have,” he retorted.

“Pathetic little boy,” muttered Voldemort as he stalked over to stand in front of Harry, forcing him to look up. “Exactly where you were born to be,” he said and lifted a booted foot, then slammed it into Harry's chest. Harry curled up on the floor, fighting to breathe.

“Want this to end? I have a deal to make with you,” said Voldemort.

“I don't make deals with pathetic arseholes,” hissed Harry.

“Are you sure? You could have whatever you wanted. Your parents back? Perhaps that worthless mutt? Dumbledore? Anything at all.”

“Never,” said Harry forcefully.

“Then this will never end. I can keep you here forever. No one will be able to save you from me,” said Voldemort.

“You're lying. I was just in -- There's no way you could have captured me.”

“There are ways. Look around you, does this look familiar to you?”

“No,” admitted Harry. “But just you wait, they'll come and find me. I know they will.”

Voldemort laughed, sending chills down Harry's spine. “Why don't you think on that a while?” he said, moving away from Harry.

Harry, who was starting to feel better, took his chances and jumped up from the floor, diving at Voldemort. He almost managed to grab Voldemort's wand, but a well-placed punch from Voldemort caught him in the jaw, sending tears to his eyes.

Voldemort scrambled to his feet and hissed, “Crucio!”

Harry instinctively threw up his hands and shouted, “No!” To his surprise, a glowing orange shield enveloped him.

“What the--” said Voldemort before disappearing.

Harry sank to the ground, his strength gone, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he was in his room in Grimmauld Place.

His first thought was that that had been one fucked-up dream.

“Here, Harry,” he heard a female say and his glasses were dangled in front of his face. He put them on and Ginny Weasley came into view.

“Are you feeling better?” asked Ginny.

“Yeah,” said Harry. “Except I just had this really strange dream.”

“What was it about?” asked Ginny. “If you want to tell me, of course,” she quickly added.

“It was just… Voldemort. He wanted to make a deal with me… I mean, I don’t know why it was so strange, maybe it was the fact that I’ve never dreamed about him before.” Harry sighed and tugged at his hair. "I just don't know. I'm so confused."

Ginny gently patted his leg. "It'll be all right, Harry."

"I don't think so," said Harry slowly. "It felt too real, like he was actually there with me."

Ginny laughed nervously. "You-Know-Who can't get in here; you're perfectly safe."

"Yes, I know he can't get in here, but isn't anything possible in a dream?"

"Don't be silly, Harry," said Ginny. The door opening interrupted their conversation and Lupin entered carrying a small wooden box.

"Our mysterious friend has sent more potions; it seems he's quite a master at brewing potions," said Lupin.

Potions Master. Where had he heard that term before? Damn, why couldn't he remember?

Shrugging it off, he asked, “What did he send?”

“It’s just a variety of medicinal potions, ones no one here could brew,” said Lupin. “I’ll just leave them here in case you need any of them. They’re all labeled, so you can find whatever you need.”

“Okay,” said Harry.

Lupin left, leaving Harry and Ginny alone once more. Harry found that Ginny’s comforting touch had moved on to his hand and wrist.

He resisted the urge to rip his wrist out her hands and instead he said, “Ginny, I still can’t be with you. I can’t let anything get in the way of defeating Voldemort.”

“Harry, you can’t go through life without love. You need something to live for.”

“I’ll have plenty to live for once Voldemort’s gone,” said Harry.

“But what about now? What if someone… dies and you don’t get a chance to tell them how much you love them?”

“I can’t promise that I won’t end up dead, but I sure as hell won’t let him kill any of my friends,” said Harry fiercely.

“We won’t let you get killed either,” said Ginny. “So don’t you dare talk about leaving us.”

Harry shrugged. What would happen would happen.

“Why don’t we go downstairs?” suggested Ginny.

“Sure,” said Harry, anxious to get out of their discussion. He climbed out of bed and walked downstairs with Ginny. They went into the basement kitchen, where Ron and Hermione were sitting at the table while Tonks hovered near the fire.

“Hi,” he said tentatively. He wasn’t sure how they felt about his outburst earlier. No one mentioned the incident, and Lupin soon entered the kitchen and they settled down to dinner, Ron and Tonks chattering animatedly about Quidditch.

When dinner ended, Harry returned to his room alone and sat down on his bed. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle Ginny, and he didn’t know whether Ron and Hermione hated him for what he’d said to them. They were trying to help him and all he’d done was act like a prat.

He deserved their anger, though. He was the reason that Sirius and Dumbledore were dead. It didn’t matter who had fired the curses that had sent each to their deaths, he had been the one to lead them to their deaths, and that made him responsible.

He sighed in frustration. He needed an outlet for all his emotions. Then his eyes found the partially healed flesh of his wrist. He did have an outlet.

Harry opened his trunk and found the glass and the bloody t-shirt. He locked the door to his room and sat in front of it. His eyes flickered from the glass to his wrist and he made his decision.

He put the tip of the glass to his wrist and slid it slowly across, reopening and deepening the cut. Blood rushed from the now stinging cut and he cut again, adding a new wound to his wrist. He leaned his head against the door as blood flowed from his wrist and onto the t-shirt. He felt better, knowing that they couldn't take this away from him.

~*~*~

Several days later, he noticed that Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Lupin were always disappearing together. He hoped they weren't going on with the Sirius thing. They were only going to end up disappointed. He wasn't going to allow himself to get involved and be disappointed too. Dumbledore had told him there was no spell to bring back the dead and Dumbledore was usually right.

~*~*~

More time passed, and Harry was starting to feel sick again, though he didn't mention it to anyone. Even if he had wanted to tell anyone, they were nowhere to be found. Even Tonks, who had been around all the time, had vanished.

Then, one morning at breakfast, he and Lupin were sitting at the table, everyone else nowhere to be seen, when Hermione came running into the kitchen and whispered something to Lupin. He could swear that he'd heard her say, "It's time."

Time for what, he wondered as Lupin hastily excused himself from the table and left the kitchen with Hermione.

Harry spent the next several hours aimlessly wandering the house, wanting to lay down, but not wanting to stay still very long. He ended up sprawled on a couch in the living room when he heard someone run into the room. He sat up to see Hermione, her bushy hair everywhere and a huge smile on her face.

"What do you want?" he asked wearily.

"Harry, you've got to come with me," said Hermione, grabbing his hands and pulling him off the couch. She dragged him upstairs and into a room he'd never entered before. Ron, Ginny, Lupin and Tonks were standing there, next to a man Harry had thought he'd never see again.

Harry could only stare in shock at his supposedly dead godfather. Harry's insides turned to ice. They had taken their little prank too far. Way too far.

“Hello, Harry,” said Sirius.

Harry tried to stay calm. There was only one way to prove that this wasn't Sirius.

“Transform,” he said coldly. Everyone gaped at him, so he decided to make his point clear. “If you're really Sirius, transform.”

The man's face took on a pained expression and Harry knew instantly that this was not, could not, be Sirius.

“How could you do this to me?” he yelled. “You knew how I felt! First saying Sirius was alive, then you all leaving me alone, and now this! Who'd you get to take part in your little plan to torture me? Was it Tonks or did you make another illegal Polyjuice Potion, Hermione? I've had enough of your stupid tricks! I HATE YOU ALL!”

He ran out of the room, unable to stay and see that imposter. He ran into his room and slammed the door, breathing heavily. How could they do this to him? He knew he deserved it, though. He had killed Sirius and Dumbledore and brought this on himself.

Suddenly, his breath caught in his chest and he started coughing violently. He half leaned, half fell onto the closed door and slid to the floor. His vision wavered and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to escape to a dark oblivion.

~*~*~

Lupin stared, stunned, at the doorway Harry had just run out of. Harry didn't believe them…

He turned to Sirius and asked, “Why didn't you transform?”

“I can't. I don't know why,” replied Sirius, a look of anguish on his face. Lupin felt exactly the same way.

“I knew,” whispered Hermione. All heads immediately turned her way. “I knew Sirius couldn't transform, and I know why. I just didn't tell, because having Sirius back was more important then him being an Animagus. I didn't think it was that big of a deal.” She looked miserable.

“Why can't Sirius transform?” Lupin asked.

“It's the reason we were able to get him back. He is --was-- an Animagus. If one is to fall through the veil and be returned, it wants a sacrifice.”

“But what about--”

“That was a sacrifice on the part of the person bringing the dead person back. The dead person has to give something up. This is almost always the person's animal spirit. Hence, it took Sirius' Animagus form,” said Hermione.

Sirius put his head in his hands and mumbled, “Now he'll never believe me.”

“Yes he will. We'll re-teach you to be an Animagus. You've learned before. With Professor Lupin and me teaching you, you'll be Snuffles again soon,” said Hermione.

“That's right. I think I still have our notes somewhere,” said Lupin. He smiled encouragingly.

“I'm sure Professor McGonagall would be glad to help us too,” said Ron. Hermione smiled and kissed Ron.

“That's a brilliant idea!” she said happily.

“Well, why don't you three go Floo McGonagall and ask about her helping us?” suggested Lupin.

“Sure,” said Ginny, leading the other two out of the room. While waiting for the trio to return, Lupin and Sirius caught up, with Lupin telling Sirius all that he could about the last year. When Ron, Hermione, and Ginny returned, they were all excited.

“Professor McGonagall will be coming by later with a surprise for Sirius, and she's agreed to help us. She also says welcome back, Sirius. Oh, and she told us to make sure someone is keeping an eye on Harry,” said Hermione.

“I'll go,” volunteered Sirius promptly and started for the door.

Lupin grabbed his arm and said, “No, he might freak out if he sees you again. I'll go.”

He went down the hallway and faced Harry's door. He had to do this, whether Harry was angry at him or not. Harry's well-being was more important than leaving him alone.

He knocked once before attempting to open the door. It barely opened inches before hitting something solid. Frowning slightly, he concentrated, and Apparated into Harry's room.

It was fortunate the wards had been designed to allow Apparation inside the house, for Harry was lying in front of the door, his face pale and his body shaking slightly. Lupin quickly pulled out his wand and murmured a levitation charm and floated Harry onto his bed.

“Shite,” he breathed, looking at Harry's still form. He went back to the hallway and yelled for Sirius and Tonks. They came quickly and shut the door in front of Harry's anxious friends.

“What happened?” asked Sirius.

“I don't know. I found him collapsed on the floor. Maybe he's having a relapse,” said Lupin.

“Maybe…” said Tonks. “But there's no way he could have been exposed to the dust again, is there?”

Lupin shook his head. “Is there any way Voldemort could be doing something to him through his scar?” asked Lupin.

“Perhaps. If that's the case, our informant will probably write again soon. Otherwise, let's just see if there's anything we could give Harry from these potions,” said Tonks, moving to look through the potion box. “Hm… there's Fever Reducer in here, would that work?” Tonks asked.

Lupin felt Harry's head and found him slightly warm. “Yeah, I think so.”

He wrote ‘Drink this when you wake up' on a scrap of parchment, then took the vial from Tonks and set it on the table by Harry's bed along with Harry's glasses.

“We should let him alone to sleep,” he suggested, heading towards the door. The others followed him and once out of the room, Lupin cast a locking charm to keep Harry's friends out.

“What happened?” asked Ron.

“He still doesn't believe us. He wants to be left alone,” said Remus. He felt guilty for lying, but Harry didn't need them disturbing him when he was sick.

“Let us talk to him,” said Hermione.

“Sorry, Hermione, but he doesn't want to see anyone, especially you three,” said Remus. Hermione's eyes narrowed in suspicion; however, she just grabbed Ron's arm and stalked off, with Ginny following.

“Quite possessive, isn't she?” remarked Sirius.

“We're lucky they listen to us,” said Remus. “Otherwise she'd be in there right now trying to talk to him. She's already suspicious.”

“True,” agreed Sirius.

~*~*~

Harry woke up with his head pounding. He immediately rolled over and buried his face in his pillows to block out the unrelenting sunlight. His pillow? He didn't remember getting into bed. He remembered yelling and then returning to his room… then nothing. Lupin must have put him in bed.

He slowly rolled back over and found his glasses on the table by his bed, along with a vial and a scrap of parchment. Drink this when you wake up, said the note.

Shite, he must be getting sick again. Sighing, he drank the potion and set the vial back on the table.

He got out of bed and immediately had to clutch it for support. He dragged himself back into bed, not wanting to even attempt going any further. He curled up and let sleep come to him once again.

~*~*~

“Couldn't stay away, could you?” asked a mocking voice.

“You,” hissed Harry.

“You won't be able to trick your way out of here this time,” said Voldemort.

“Here? This is a dream and you can't do anything to me,” said Harry.

Voldemort smiled, a truly horrifying sight.

“Oh, no, my dear boy. This is so much more than a dream. We're going to have so much fun in here.” He raised his wand with a sly look. “You think I cannot do anything to you? Here is my answer to that. Crucio.”

The curse hit Harry, sending pain like fire through his body. He dropped to the ground and screamed, clawing violently at his body. When the curse was lifted, Harry lay still, panting.

“Silly boy, you have no idea what I am capable of here,” said Voldemort.

“You're nothing but an evil bastard,” gasped Harry.

“Oh, Harry, Harry, why do you have no respect for me?” asked Voldemort mockingly. “You're only making things harder on yourself.”

Harry shakily raised himself up to a sitting position. “I will never bow down to you and kiss your robes,” he hissed.

Voldemort smirked. “That just means I get the pleasure of hearing you scream until you finally give in to my will,” said Voldemort. “Epidermae Inflamarae!”

Harry was forced to the floor again, this time clawing at his skin and screaming from the white-hot flames that coursed over his flesh. Harry screamed until he was hoarse and the curse began to subside, though not taking away the burning pain or the red blisters from his skin.

He groaned as he forced himself to a sitting position, only to find Voldemort was gone. Harry looked around warily, expecting Voldemort to jump out from a shadowy corner and attack him again.

When no such attack came, he raised himself to his feet, wincing in pain. Sick bastard. He was probably watching somewhere, laughing.

He spotted a door across from him and after walking unsteadily over, tugged on it. It was locked. Angrily, he kicked at it. Instantly, pain shot through his head, sending Harry crashing to the floor once again. He clutched his head as pain reverberated through it.

“Have you had enough, Harry?”

~*~*~

“I think we ought to check on Harry again,” suggested Sirius as they sat in the library, perusing books on Animagi.

“Perhaps,” said Lupin. He stood and left the library with Sirius. Once upstairs, he unlocked the door and they entered to find Harry asleep, tossing and turning and mumbling incoherently.

“How is he getting sick again?' mused Sirius.

“It has to be Voldemort,” said Lupin. “There's no other way.”

Sirius sighed and moved closer to Harry. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?” Sirius said quietly.

Lupin touched his arm gently. “He'll come around. He's just learned not to trust people. After the last two years, who could blame him?” said Lupin softly.

“I hope so,” said Sirius, looking longingly at Harry.

Suddenly, Harry's eyes opened and he sat up, fumbling slightly as he did so. His glassy eyes focused on the two men.

“What are you doing in my room?” hissed Harry.

“We were just—“

“Get out!” said Harry angrily. “Get out and leave me alone!”

Harry pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to clear his vision. That dream had been much worse than the one before. He checked his arms and saw only unmarred flesh.

It was all a dream, he told himself firmly, just his mind's way of fucking with him. But still… it had felt so real.

He heard a soft pop near him and reached for his wand before remembering that he didn't have it. He relaxed when he saw that it was an envelope addressed to him and bearing the Hogwarts crest. He broke the seal and withdrew a single sheet of parchment. He unfolded it and read.

Mr. Potter,

As per a decision made yesterday by the school governors, Hogwarts will remain open this year to all who wish to remain in attendance. We ask that if you wish to attend Hogwarts this year, to please send a reply owl.

Thank you,

Minerva McGonagall

Hogwarts Headmistress

Harry crumpled the letter up and threw it across the room. No matter what that letter said, they were going to make him go back; he was certain of it.

Suddenly, he had an idea, one that would get his things back from Privet Drive and give him a chance to escape before they made him go back to Hogwarts. He walked over to the door and knocked on it.

“Professor!” he called loudly and waited. Minutes later, he heard the sound of feet coming down the hallway. When the door opened, he immediately said, “I need to go back to Privet Drive.”

“You need to stay here; it's the safest place for you,” said Lupin.

“No, you don't understand. I left some things there, things that I really need,” said Harry, forcing his face into a look of desperateness.

“I'll go get them for you, then,” said Lupin.

“No, I have to get them,” said Harry.

Lupin frowned, but conceded after a minute. “I'll Apparate you there, but you'll have to make it quick. Privet Drive is no longer safe.”

“All right,” agreed Harry, knowing that once he had his wand and the cloak, he wouldn't need to worry about being safe.

“We'll have to go outside to Apparate. Stay close once we're out there,” said Lupin.

As soon as they were outside the house, Lupin grabbed his arm and Harry immediately felt the horrible feeling of being sucked through a narrow tube. When they reappeared, they were outside the Dursleys' house. Lupin hurried him up the walk and knocked on the door, all the while looking around warily.

The door opened several inches and Vernon Dursley barked, “What?”

“We're just here to pick up a few things that Harry left behind. We'll only be a few minutes,” said Lupin.

“All right,” said Vernon gruffly and the door was opened the rest of the way. Odd, thought Harry. He was sure they'd put up more of a fuss than— He grunted as someone shoved him to the ground.

“Stupefy!” A muffled thud beside him indicated that Lupin had been Stunned. The tip of a boot rammed into his head and Harry Potter knew no more.

~*~*~

When Harry regained consciousness, he was lying on a hard surface with his hands tied behind his back. He tried to sit up, but the intense pain that radiated from his head rendered him unable to move.

He heard the soft rustle of robes nearby and felt cool fingers on his face before a rough voice whispered, “You'll be out of here soon, Harry. Trust me.”

Seconds later, the person had moved away again and a different voice spoke. “Go inform our Lord that Potter has been captured.”

Several minutes later, Harry heard the clunking of boots. The noise stopped near him and someone nudged him in the ribs with their foot.

“Get up, Potter,” said a man.

Harry stayed still, knowing that there was no way he could get up.

“I said, get up!” this time, the Death Eater kicked him in the ribs, causing Harry to gasp in pain. The Death Eater then dragged him up by the back of his t-shirt. Harry winced at the pressure on his ribs. When he was fully upright, the Death Eater grabbed his upper arm in a grip so tight it was sure to leave bruises and pulled him along.

“Lord Voldemort does not like to be kept waiting,” said the Death Eater.

Harry was taken out of the room and down a long corridor, then into another room. The room was full of Death Eaters, who were situated in a circle around a chair that looked more like a throne. Sitting in the chair was none other than Voldemort.

Their eyes locked for a second, and Harry felt the presence of someone in his mind. No! He wrenched his gaze away from Voldemort.

“You think that you can protect your mind from me?” asked Voldemort. “You are not safe from me, not even when you think you're safe asleep in bed.”

Harry rolled his eyes. Those strange dreams he'd been having were just that. They were merely his mind's way of fucking with him.

“Are you so sure, Harry?” asked Voldemort.”

“Fuck off,” hissed Harry without thinking.

“You need to learn to respect your elders, Harry. Or else you'll never see your precious puppy again,” said Voldemort.

Precious puppy?Then it hit him. Voldemort had captured him not to torture him just physically, but mentally as well. He was going to bring Sirius back and kill him in front of Harry.

“No,” he whispered.

“Oh yes, Harry, though it won't be me getting the worthless mutt, it will be you.”

“I won't do it,” said Harry. He wouldn't let them do that to Sirius. He wrenched his arm away from the Death Eater and sprinted for the door.

Not even halfway there, several Death Eaters tackled him. He fought not to scream as his bruised ribs were jarred. They got off him and dragged him to his feet. Harry stared defiantly at Voldemort, now flanked by two Death Eaters.

“Yes, you still need to be taught submission. Lucius… Bella… Severus. You three go teach him submission. Remember not to hurt him too much; he still has to perform the ritual,” said Voldmort.

Harry was dragged from the room, thoughts running wildly through his mind. Voldemort didn't seem to know the prophecy, but then again, he didn't seem too concerned with killing him, only torturing him. There was going to be a ritual… one he'd be forced to participate in… What the hell was going on here?

“Move, Potter,” growled Snape.

“Severus, really,” said Lucius and suddenly, Harry felt a shove at his back. He grunted as he hit the floor and rolled to a stop. He had mere seconds to recover before a Blasting Cure slammed him into the wall, blinding him momentarily. The attack didn't stop there.

“Flamarae,” hissed Bellatrix. All was silent except for footsteps and when Harry could focus his eyes again, he saw Bellatrix kneeling beside him. He flinched when he saw that Bellatrix's wand had a flame at the tip of it.

Cold prickles ran up his spine as the hot wand was brought against the bare skin of his arm. He hissed in pain as he was forced to watch Bellatrix burn the Dark Mark into his forearm. Bellatrix's face was filled with glee when she finished.

Harry closed his eyes, fighting the urge to scream in pain. The burn felt as though it had gone all the way to the bone.

“Beautiful work, Bella,” commented Lucius.

Their cruel treatment didn't end there, instead, they moved on to curses and some of the more painful hexes. Harry lost track of the time that passed, having given up on being rescued. The only person who could have saved him was dead, and the other—well, if this was any indicator, he was as good as dead.

“Potter,” he heard, somewhere near his left ear. Snape. Was he finally going to finish him off, the way he had Dumbledore?

“Potter.” Snape's voice was louder now, and more insistent. He continued to ignore Snape, that is, until he felt Snape slap him.

“Ow,” he moaned.

“Be quiet and listen to me, Potter,” said Snape. “I can't get you out of here, but I have alerted several Order members as to the events about to take place. In the meantime, you're going to have to hang on and keep your damned mind clear. Is it possible for you to actually listen to me for once?”

“Yes,” he hissed, wincing at the pressure in his chest.

“I will return,” said Snape. Harry closed his eyes and lay back, waiting. All he could do was wait.

Harry lost track of time as he lay in the darkness. He remained as still as possible; any movement would cause him pain.

~*~*~

Harry started as a foot connected with his aching ribs. He opened his eyes when he felt the foot kick him again.

“Up, Potter,” said an unfamiliar man.

Harry lay still until he was forced to his feet by magic.

“Come, the Dark Lord is ready for you,” said another Death Eater, moving to guard him from behind.

~*~*~

“And here is the guest of honor, my faithful,” said Voldemort as Harry and his Death Eater guards entered the chamber. “Everything is in place for the ritual. All that remains is to go there and retrieve the puppy. The Portkey, now, Wormtail!”

The circle of Death Eaters surged forward as one and all somehow managed to get a finger on the Portkey. Harry was forced to touch it by one of his guards.

~*~*~

He landed, surrounded by Death Eaters in a hallway he had only visited twice in his life and had hoped to never see again.

The Department of Mysteries.

“No,” he gasped as he was roughly hauled to his feet.

“Oh, yes,” murmured Voldmort as he passed Harry, “and just think, this is only the first — oh wait, I mean second — death you will have to bear the guilt for. I'm not going to stop here, though, oh no. Who should I kill after your puppy? Perhaps your red-headed sidekick or that know-it-all Mudblood?”

“I won't let you kill my friends,” hissed Harry.

“And how exactly do you propose to do that?” countered Voldemort.

Harry glared at Voldmort as he strode down the corridor. His captors dragged him along as Voldemort tapped his wand on the black door and said, “The Death Chamber.”

The door opened, as did the one across from it. The Death Eaters and Harry followed Voldemort through to the Death Chamber.

Harry felt numb as he looked down at the arch before. His captors pushed him forward and he tumbled down the stairs. He felt a sharp jolt of pain in his arm as he landed hard on the stones. He clenched his eyes shut as heavy boots thudded near his head.

A rough hand hauled him to his feet and something long and hard was thrust into his aching right hand. His fingers automatically clenched around it, knowing it to be a wand. His wand.

His dazed mind began to slowly wrap around the fact that he now held a weapon in his hands.

“Don't even try it, Potter,” growled Snape.

Snape was here?

He opened his eyes to find himself surrounded on three sides by Death Eaters. Facing him was the stone arch, the black veil fluttering slightly. His knees felt weak and he nearly tumbled to the ground, but he was held up by a firm hand around his waist. A hand on his right arm directed his wand to point at his left hand.

“Now cut your hand,” said Snape.

“No,” said Harry, trying to move his hand away.

“Do it, now, Potter,” growled Snape.

Something in Snape's voice told him he had to obey, if he wanted to get out of here alive.

Harry gritted his teeth and murmured the curse that would slice his hand open.

“Kneel,” ordered Snape and he was pushed to his knees. His hand was pressed firmly into the stone and dragged across it, creating a line of blood in front of the veil. Harry grimace and a few tears escape his eyes.

“Now write Black's name in blood with your wand,” said Snape.

Harry's right hand throbbed as he obediently began writing Sirius' name, touching his wand to the cut on his hand and using it as a quill.

“Repeat after me: Retourné Sirius Black,” said Snape once he had finished.

Harry clenched his left hand into a fist and whispered the words.

“Louder, you idiot! You have to mean them,” growled Snape, smacking him. His vision wavered for a moment, and when it returned, he repeated the spell. When nothing happened, he tried again… and again… and again.

“He is incompetent, I'm afraid, my Lord,” said Snape.

“Let me try, Master.” Bellatrix Lestrange.

He heard someone approaching, then a kick to his side had him gasping for breath.

“Do it again!” she shrieked. “Now!”

Harry tried again, tears now streaming freely down his face. Sirius wasn't coming back. He was going to come back to him, because it had been his fault he'd died in the first place.

“Sirius, come back,” Harry whispered.

Bellatrix growled in frustration and hissed, “Crucio!”

Harry toppled forward onto the floor, screaming.

“Finite Incantatem!”

“Expelliarmus!”

The curse stopped, but Harry still lay where he was, too exhausted to move.

“Harry!” he heared yelled as curses began flying around him. He felt a hand on his back and shivered.

“Harry,” said Lupin.

“Professor, he wouldn't come back.”

“Who?” asked Lupin.

“Sirius,” whispered Harry.

“Harry, Sirius couldn't come back, because—“

“Remus! Come on, we have to get Harry out of here!”

Tonks.

“I'm going to have to knock you out, Harry. Using a Portkey while you're conscious probably isn't a good idea,” said Tonks.

Harry heard her incant a spell softly and then he knew no more.

~*~*~

“Shh, you'll wake him up.”

“Stay off the bed, Snuffles, we'll be right back.”

Snuffles… He remembered hearing that name before.

Something urged him to open his eyes and he did so with a soft moan. He ached all over. A furry black shape sat at the foot of his bed.

Snuffles…

“Sirius,” he whispered.

The black shape shifted, then turned. After a moment, the black shape jumped off his bed and shifted into the shape of a man with long black hair.

“Harry,” said Sirius quietly as he approached the bed.

“I thought — I thought you were d-dead,” he choked out.

“I'm sorry, Harry, but the ritual to bring me out of the veil required each participant to give up something. Remus gave up blood and I gave up my Animagus form. As you can see, I got it back, but it took a while,” said Sirius.

“Voldemort, he wants to kill you. He wants to kill all my friends,” Harry blurted out.

“We're safe here,” said Sirius.

“Well, Privet Drive was supposed to be safe too, wasn't it?” asked Harry bitterly.

“We shouldn't have risked going there in the first place,” said Sirius.

“I needed my—“ Harry stopped himself before saying wand. They didn't need to know about what was left in Privet Drive. He could get it himself. He didn't need their help, not after they thought they were helping him by lying to him about Sirius. He could take care of himself.

“Harry?” asked Sirius.

Harry rolled over to face away from Sirius and winced. He closed his eyes and ignored Sirius. He didn't need any of them. He could do this on his own.

Sirius sighed softly and Harry heard a soft scraping noise as he pulled a chair over. Harry heard a soft click and footsteps.

“He won't talk to me, Remus,” said Sirius quietly.

“He's probably stil mad that we brought you back behind his back. I don't think the last couple of days helped any, either,” said Lupin.

“We'll just wait until he's ready to talk to us,” said Tonks.

Harry was irritated that they were talking about him like that, but he still didn't want to talk to them. He was too sore to want to talk, anyways.

“Have you given him the potions yet, Lupin?”

Harry felt cold. That was Snape. What was he doing there?

“Not yet, Severus,” said Lupin.

“Incompetent,” growled Snape. Heavy boots thudded towards his bed and cold chills ran down Harry's spine.

“Get up, Potter,” said Snape.

Harry's mind screamed not to obey, but he sat up anyways. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them.

“There are no Death Eaters here, Potter,” said Snape firmly and quietly.

Harry looked up and caught Snape's gaze. How could Snape know how vulnerable he felt; how hurt he was?

Snape suddenly turned away from him.

“Black, Lupin, get out,” growled Snape.

Harry almost protested before realizing that Snape was going to help him.

Sirius and Lupin both did, though, but Snape ignored their protests. When he had them out into the hallway, he slammed the door shut in their surprised faces and warded it.

Snape seated himself in the chair Sirius had vacated, and leaned closer to Harry's bed.

“Potter, when are you going to learn to quit wearing your emotions in your eyes?” asked Snape.

“What?” said Harry.

“I could see everything you were thinking and I know how you were feeling with Black and Lupin in the room.

“They've been lying to me for weeks,” hissed Harry. “I don't trust them at all.”

“Idiotic as they are, they are trying to help you.” said Snape.

“I don't want their help,” growled Harry.

Snape's next question startled Harry.

“Will you accept my help?”

Harry stared at Snape, eyes wide, and then slowly nodded. He knew it would be better to have Snape help him, not Sirius or Lupin.

“Good,” said Snape shortly. “I trust you would not mind leaving this house?”

Harry shook his head. Snape pulled a scroll of parchment from his pocket and set it on the table, then pulled out his wand. Harry flinched, but remembered that Snape wasn't going to hurt him.

“Pack,” said Snape and the few belongings that he'd removed from his trunk flew back inside. Snape tapped Harry's trunk with his wand and it vanished instantly. Snape moved over to where Harry sat on his bed and picked him up with no hesitation.

“Hold tight,” advised Snape.

Harry clenched his fists in Snape's robes as he felt the uncomfortable sensations of Apparition.

He was still recovering from the Apparition when he felt Snape putting him down. He opened his eyes and found a slightly grubby room. The bed he was on was comfortable, though.

“It's a bit dirty, but it shall suffice,” said Snape, glancing about the room. “This will be your room. When you are ready to, I will show you the rest of the house.”

Snape left him alone in the room and after a few minutes, Harry gingerly climbed out of bed. His trunk was at the foot of the bed. Several curtainless windows allowed gleaming sunlight to pour into the room. A desk and chair were against one wall, and a wardrobe opposite.

Harry limped over to the window and saw that the house was surrounded by trees. The grass around the house didn't look as thought it had been tended to for years.

He soon grew bored of the room and wandered out. He headed down a short hallway and towards the only open doorway. He found a kitchen and dining room within it, and Snape rummaging through the cupboards.

“I see you've found your way out of your room,” said Snape without turning around.

“Yeah,” said Harry, realizing that Snape had spoken with no malice, merely stating a fact.

“Go ahead and sit down. This is your home now, too,” said Snape.

Suddenly, it all clicked into place. Harry stumbled backwards, his eyes wide.

“You--you killed Dumbledore,” he gasped.

“Thank you for stating the obvious,” said Snape, turning to face Harry.

“No, no, no,” stammered Harry, unable to put his thoughts into words.

Snape had killed Dumbledore to save Harry. He had been trying to help him all along.

Snape approached him cautiously, as though he thought Harry was going to attack him.

“Potter, come sit down and I'll explain,” said Snape.

He reached out a hand to lead Harry over to the table, but Harry flinched. Snape backed up and gestured to a chair.

“If you want to know what happened last year, you're going to have to sit down,” said Snape.

Harry hesitated a moment, then moved to sit on the chair. Snape returned to the cupboards and picked out two cups and tapped a teapot with his wand. He poured them each a cup of tea and pushed one towards Harry.

Snape raised his cup and took a sip before looking intently to Harry.

“It started one year ago, after the fiasco at the Ministry. Dumbledore came to me with a plan. No, actually, this plan had been forged for many years. He knew about the Horcruxes since I came back to Hogwarts sixteen years ago. For the past two years, I've been following Dumbledore's instructions and assisting him with finding a destroying the Horcruxes. And last summer, when he located the Gaunt ring, he tried to expel the Horcrux, and in doing so, released a curse that would slowly kill him.

“Also, I entered into an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy, who wanted me to help Draco with his mission. What that mission was, I had no idea at the time. When I learned of the mission, my job as a spy became much harder. On one hand, I had Draco Malfoy to control, and on the other hand, I had Dumbledore controlling me.

“Yes, I do mean controlling me. You see, when I returned to the castle so long ago, I agreed to do anything, anything to be back in Dumbledore's favor, and to get his trust back. He and I agreed upon an Unbreakable Vow, one that would force me to obey Dumbledore's command.”

“That's the reason he trusted you?” gasped Harry. He'd had no idea Dumbledore would outright force Snape to be trustworthy to him.

“Yes, Potter, your precious Headmaster would do something like that. He was nothing like the part he played for the students. He lied, he manipulated. Of course, you knew about the manipulation, though I'm sure you didn't realize it at the time. Both you and I were slowly trained to the Headmaster's will, and when he finally asked--no--pleaded with me to end it, I had to. And I did it with the most hatred and loathing in my heart, because I knew that was exactly how he'd planned it to be. Everything had been done his way. Always. And even in death he is making me do his will. And that is why you're here now.”

Harry was stunned at Snape's declaration. Yes, Dumbledore had been manipulative. He'd known that. But to force Snape to kill him? Wouldn't that make him just as bad as…

“The Dark Lord, yes,” said Snape. “Only Dumbledore's men did it willingly, albeit not knowing about the lies he told to ally them to his side.”

“Yeah, I started to figure that out last year, after he finally told me the truth about Sirius and the prophecy,” said Harry.

“And now we get to Dumbledore's last request,” said Snape.

“I thought that was for you to kill him,” said Harry.

“Yes, but he had one other request,” said Snape. “The one that ultimately, is much more important than his death.”

“What was it?” asked Harry.

“He wanted me to help you defeat the Dark Lord. I am to train you and teach you all I know about Defense,” said Snape. “I was reluctant to do so on the Tower, but I can see now that you're going to need all the help you can get.”

“I know,” said Harry. “It just seems like it will never be enough, that I won't be strong enough to stop him.”

“You have the power, it's just a matter of training you to use it, rather than idiotic little charms and jinxes. I can teach you hexes, curses, even the Dark Arts.”