Babies Can Teach a Valuable Lesson by preety_lady_serenity
Summary: Harry turns into a baby after an accident in Potions and Snape is assigned to become his guardian. But can Snape take care of a baby? And especially a baby like Harry? Alternative Universe, written before the HBP (posted firstly in ff.net in 01-30-04 )
Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Drama, Humor
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Baby fic, Child fic, Deaging
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes Word count: 122052 Read: 172466 Published: 30 Jan 2006 Updated: 01 Nov 2007
First Difficulties by preety_lady_serenity
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: Guess what? The characters still do not belong to me. J. K. Rowling has refused to sell the rights to me. I am using them though. Wow I feel such a rebel. ^_^ 

I hope you enjoy this story. I was laughing so hard when I was writing it that I fell off my chair twice. ^_^

Snape sighed once again and then placed baby Harry on his huge bed. The baby stared at him with its olive-green eyes, while he looked at the small amount of baby supplies he was carrying with him. There were some diapers, a baby’s bottle and some talc.

“Great, just great! Tomorrow I have to go to Diagon Alley and buy some things for you! And if there is something I hate more than taking care of you, is shopping!” he mentally told Harry, who being unaware of what his professor was thinking was sucking his index. Taking the baby’s limited things he retreated into the bathroom. The hook-nosed professor was stuffing the baby products into a small cupboard when a shriek was heard from his bedroom. Sighing once again he moved to his room to look after the little “menace”.

Baby Harry was crying loudly, his fists clenched near his chest. Snape raised him to his eye level and stared him being puzzled. Harry was still wailing even though he was holding him.

“Now what do you want Potter?” he asked the baby softly.

“Yeah as if you are waiting for an answer Severus!” he said to himself being sarcastic.

In the meantime he was getting a headache from Harry’s piercing wails, something that made him vow never to let Dumbledore convince him about anything, whatsoever. He sat down and placed Harry into his arms. Harry feeling comfortable inside Snape’s arms had stopped wailing. Yet he continued sobbing and when the professor tried to examine his face he caught his hand with his mouth and sucked it. Snape’s face contorted in disgust.

“Yuck! He is actually sucking my fingers right now. Saliva! Absolutely, Disgusting.”

However he paused for a moment because it had finally struck him. Harry was hungry. That’s why he was sucking his hand.

“Potter, you are more clever than I thought.” Snape commented faintly. He reached for the bottle and whispered “Fill up.” Nothing happened, the bottle stayed empty. Snape blinked once or twice.

“Fill up!”

Nothing

“Fill up please?” Snape asked, while Harry had started wailing once again. Then realisation hit him. That was a muggle baby’s bottle.

”Oh thanks Headmaster, for giving me muggle things to use!” Snape muttered having the need to curse loudly.

“Dobby, enter my room immediately!” Snape ordered while he was getting impatient.

“Yes Master Professor Snape sir!” said Dobby, who had immediately entered the room

“Dobby I would like some baby formula for Harry Potter.”

The house-elf took the bottle, chanted a series of words and the bottle was instantly filled with warm milk. Giving it to Snape, Dobby disappeared immediately. The professor took the bottle and put it in Harry’s mouth. Yet baby Harry spit the milk and started wailing.

“What’s the matter now?” Snape asked.

“It is probably too warm for him,” Snape thought and raised his sleeve to test the milk’s temperature. The hot feeling on his wrist proved that the milk was indeed too warm and taking out his wand he changed the milk into a more mild temperature and then placed the bottle into Harry’s mouth. The baby started sucking happily and Snape felt his headache subduing slightly. “Maybe things will get better after all!”

-)-)-)

Severus Snape was grading a class’ papers when a horrible stench covered the room. At first he thought that someone had placed a dungbomb inside the room to play a prank. Yet there was a small detail that destroyed his theory. His private chambers were undetectable. Not even the Slytherins knew where they were located. The only person, apart from his fellow professors, that had ever set foot inside his chambers was… POTTER!

The professor stood up and towered over baby Harry, who had an expression of pure satisfaction drawn on his face. The smell that escaped from his diapers was absolutely horrible and Snape’s face contorted in disgust before it would turn white from realisation.

“Oh no! No, no, no! I am not changing your diapers,” Snape thought shaking his head in horror. Harry, in the meantime, was feeling uncomfortable and had started sobbing. Snape could not control himself no more.

“THIS IS A CONSPIRACY POTTER! A CONSPIRACY THAT YOU HAVE PLANNED FOR MAKING ME MISERABLE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I BELIEVE THAT YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME THINKING OF NEW WAYS TO TORMENT ME!”

Harry wailed being annoyed. Snape looked at him panting heavily from anger. Then sighing once again he whispered in defeat. “Ok Potter! I will change your stupid diaper.” He looked at Harry once again and taking a deep breath, he removed the baby’s diapers.

“MERLIN’S BEARD!” he exclaimed when he looked at the “contents” inside baby Harry’s diapers, and smelled the sickening odour that seemed to have become more powerful. “How is it possible that all those things came out of you?” he started “Those . . . things weight as much as you do! You are a baby for heaven’s sake!” Being extremely careful he removed the diapers and threw them away as quickly as he could. Then taking a deep breath he moved on to the next task.

Harry squealed when he touched the water, something that made Snape flinch unconsciously. Holding Harry carefully he started rubbing him gently. The baby cooed happily and at Snape’s face a hint of a smile appeared. However when he realised what he was doing his lips curled into a scowl and he started speaking again.

“You know what my problem is Potter? I always take signs for granted. In your first year I tried to protect you and did you know what happened? Not only I got bitten in the leg by a three-headed dog, not only my robes were set on fire by Miss Granger, but I also never got a thank-you note from anyone. Not even a “sorry-for-suspecting-you-professor” apology.”

Harry looked at him blankly.

“Oh don’t play the fool to me! I know that you were, and you are always suspecting me. Then during your second year I was the one that I had to look for you when Mr Weasley and you banged yourselves into the Whomping Willow with that Ford Anglia. And do you know what my prize was for looking for you? I heard you saying to Mr Weasley that I was probably sucked because nobody likes me. Well now no one could blame me for being extremely angry that evening. But once again you thought I was trying to get you into trouble.”

“Ga!” Harry said while Snape was rubbing his back.

“Oh don’t you “Ga” me! During your third year I searched for you during the evening. Remus had forgotten to drink his Wolfsbane Potion, it was full moon and we all thought that Black was an extremely dangerous wizard and murderer. I ended up with three “Expelliarmus” spells hitting me and a concussion that kept my head spinning for days. No wonder I wanted to um. . . . impose harm on you afterwards.”

Snape rubbed Harry with a small towel to keep him warm while he kept speaking. “Then in your fourth year I had to reveal my past to everyone so that stupid Fudge would not send you to “St Mango’s” and I even became a spy for the Order. And last year I gave Umbridge some water pretending it was a Verisareum Potion. I risked my neck only to be accused by you for Black’s death. After all those signs that seem to scream “STAY AWAY FROM THE RETCHED BOY!” I have once again promised to help you. I hope that having to change your diapers will be my only problem. But something inside me says that it isn’t.” With those words Snape retreated to the bathroom in order to bring a diaper and some baby powder.

-)-)-)

Professor Severus Snape let a sigh of desperation. He looked at the diaper and stirred it clockwise once. Looking at it again he stirred it one more time.

“Wow Severus you are the first wizard in the world to stir a muggle diaper,” he commented to himself. Why couldn’t the muggles label the correct way to put a diaper? “I am a full grown wizard and I can wear this thing to Potter!* Snape thought being determined. He placed Harry into the diaper and put some baby powder on him. “Guh. . . Guh. This thing actually spreads in the room. This tape is sticky. Oh leave my fingers! Darts!”

Snape rose in full height and smiled in satisfaction. At last he had done it! Now it was time for Harry to wear his pyjama.

When Harry was put to sleep, Snape entered the bathroom.

“Take a bath doughnut!” the mirror shouted at him.

“Oh Shut Up!” Snape said looking at his image. He was covered in baby powder from head to toes.

“Well here goes another set of clean robes!” he thought placing them into the basket for the dirty clothes. The robes disappeared immediately, while Snape filled his bathtub with water.

-)-)-)

The hook-nosed professor was eating mechanically while he was thinking of the evening’s events. When he entered the Main Hall for dinner everyone stared in disbelief. He was holding Potter in his hands for over five hours and he had not yet killed him. Albus had that damned twinkle in his eyes, the one that gave him the shivers. Keeping his face neutral he sat down and Dumbledore announced about Potter’s accident and of him becoming the baby’s guardian. The Main Hall erupted from whispering and comments.

He had finished eating when Harry started asking for his bottle. Everyone turned to look at him while he took baby Harry into his arms and put the bottle into his mouth. Snape felt everyone eyes ON HIM and once again he felt uncomfortable. He waited patiently for Harry to finish, trying to make the feeling of panic subdue. When baby Harry was fed he stood up and he was about to leave the room when Hermione called after him.

“What is it Miss Granger?” Snape asked slowly

“Um . . . Professor . . . We were wondering whether we could see Harry please.”

“Sure Miss Granger. Why not?”

One thing was sure. Harry liked seeing his friends’ smiley faces. Hermione took him into her arms and coaxed him. She then gave him to Ron, who smiled at him and whispered “Good Luck” to him. Parvati called him “Harrydinkins!” something that left Snape looking at her with a false-faced expression. Neville hold him being determined and then gave him a funny face. “Well it is time for Mr Potter’s night sleep.” Snape said taking Harry from his arms and leaving the room.

0-0-0

Snape entered the room with a huge grin on his face. Every movement of his was slow. He smiled and looked inside the cradle. “How is my little Harrydinkins?” he asked. The baby looked at him behind his glasses and gave him an evil smile.

0-0-0

“WAAAHHH!”

“Where’s the fire?” said Snape that shot out of his bed immediately. He looked at baby Harry who was wailing and gave him a deathly glare. “You won’t leave me get some peace in my sleep either will you?” he asked while he scooped Harry into his arms.

“Memo to myself: If I ever call Potter, Harrydinkins I must throw myself out of the window,” he thought as he rocked Harry to sleep.

The End.
End Notes:
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