Babies Can Teach a Valuable Lesson by preety_lady_serenity
Summary: Harry turns into a baby after an accident in Potions and Snape is assigned to become his guardian. But can Snape take care of a baby? And especially a baby like Harry? Alternative Universe, written before the HBP (posted firstly in ff.net in 01-30-04 )
Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Drama, Humor
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Baby fic, Child fic, Deaging
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes Word count: 122052 Read: 172821 Published: 30 Jan 2006 Updated: 01 Nov 2007
Snape’s Weirdest Night by preety_lady_serenity
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: Oh look what I found lying on the floor! It’s Harry Potter and the rest of the characters. Yes I understand that they belong to J. K Rowling but before I return them to her I will play a bit with them.

The heavy wooden door creaked and squeaked while it opened. The Potions’ Master entered the castle listening to his footsteps’ echo that seemed to fill the room due to the unnatural silence. Almost everyone was missing. The Hogsmeade Trip was programmed for the weekend and the school was empty. He climbed up the stairs that were leading to his private chambers.

"Deadly Silence!" he pondered as he strolled at an empty corridor. "The only thing I hate is Deadly Silence!"

Snape was believed to be the type of a man that loved silence. However the truth was different. It was true, indeed, that Snape liked teaching a quiet classroom but he enjoyed seeing his students’ faces. Their faces were full of life; they breathed and tasted life to the extreme. It was their powerful energy that made the castle warm and vibrant. Without them around the place was terribly cold.

"That is what I am fighting for," a voice whispered inside his head while he felt a shiver running down his spine. "I am fighting so that the world will never become cold and empty."

He looked at baby Harry that rested inside his arms. The miniature boy looked so tranquil while it slept. Snape touched the door’s handle and while he stared and let a deep sigh escape from his lungs

“I guess I am fighting for you too Potter!” he let a faint whisper escape his lips.

-)-)-)

The hook-nosed professor looked at the eight set of pyjamas that were lying onto his bed and felt the anger rising inside his chest.

"I still can’t believe it. It took them two hours to choose eight pyjamas," he thought rubbing his head. Taking the pyjamas into his hands he examined the closely and being as sarcastic as ever he started commenting Harry’s pyjamas. "One red with a kitten chasing a ball of yarn. Typical! This one has a puppy chasing a butterfly. Hope they did not choose every farm-animal pyjama that the shop contained. Here is a navy-blue one with the moon and the stars. Oh and this one has the sun embroidered on it. Well thanks for the solar system girls. Here is a violet one with a duckling on it. Your are prone to duckling, aren’t you Potter. Ok why on Earth a lion and a lamb would sit near each other and be friends? This is no real life! In real life the lion would have turned the lamb into lamb chops. There are also three plain pyjamas. A green one, that’s an improvement, another red one and... Finally! A sensible colour. Grey!"

Having commented every pyjama he arranged Harry’s clothing items in his wardrobe and retreated into the bathroom to change to his much more comfortable robes. While he placed the muggle outfit he owned into his wardrobe, he stared himself once again in the mirror. Miss Weasley was right. He did have sexy buttocks. “For the love of all that is pure Severus! You are in enough mess already. Stop thinking of your buttocks” he grumbled to himself, while he was blushing.

He sat at his favourite black, leather armchair feeling exhausted. Suddenly he felt his stomach tighten and a loud rumble was heard inside his room. Snape touched his stomach remembering that he had eaten nothing since breakfast. He leaned towards the small wooden table that was in front of him and whispered.

“Tea Time”

Immediately a silver plate appeared on the table. A porcelain kettle that contained hot tea inside was at the middle, along with a small porcelain jug that contained milk and his cup. He looked at the plate inside the platter. He took it feeling his mouth watering.

"Chocolate-chip cookies," he told himself and bit one. "Yes this is life! Hot tea and chocolate- chip cookies. I love chocolate!" he thought as he snuggled into his armchair, holding the warm cup of tea, and placed his head to a much more comforting position.

-)-)-)

Snape had almost finished his dinner when Harry started crying asking for his bottle. Everyone’s head shot up in interest while he took baby Harry into his arms and gave him the bottle that contained the baby formula. Harry took the bottle’s plastic nipples and sucked it happily. Snape looked down at Harry, whose eye’s shifted looking at him; making his stare soften. In the meantime the students at Gryffindor table whispered at one another.

“Snape looks different.”

“Aren’t they cute?”

“Who would have expected it?”

Hermione looked at the Potions’ Master direction feeling a fluffy sense rising inside her chest. Taking Ron’s hand she leaned and whispered something to his ear. When her hand touched his, Ron’s ears turned red. However when she had finished her sentence, he blinked, and smiling evilly he leaned at Denis Creevey’s side. Creevey looked at Ron and Hermione in disbelief before he would turn to stare at Harry and the rest of the professors. Dumbledore beamed at him and at his surprise he blinked. Well if he had the Headmaster on his side, why would he be afraid of Snape? Touching his magical photographic camera under the table’s surface he adjusted the lenses and its flash before he would rise it up and take a picture of Snape feeding baby Harry. Snape noticed nothing and Denis Creevey sighed in relief. He put his camera down and looked towards Hermione and Ron.

When Harry emptied his bottle, Snape raised him to his shoulder level and started rubbing his back gently. Harry twitched feeling a weird feeling inside his stomach. The professor heard a little burp and then some gurgling. He felt his shoulder getting moisten and he closed his eyes. Opening them he saw everybody in the Great Hall eyeing him, expecting his reaction. Giving Harry to Dumbledore he mumbled that he would come back soon and hurried back to his chambers. Entering his chambers, he closed the door behind him and charmed the room with a Silencing Spell. Then taking a deep breath he let every feeling out.

“DAMN YOU POTTER! YOU HAD TO VOMIT ON MY ROBES. YOU COULD NOT RESIST YOURSELF” he started as he spasmodically undressed himself. “DO YOU THINK I ENJOY HAVING YOU RELEASING ANYTHING EXTRA YOU HAVE, OUT OF YOUR STOMACH? ANOTHER SET OF CLEAN ROBES TURNED INTO A DIRTY PILE. HOW MANY GERMS DO I HAVE ON MY SHOULDERS NOW? I WILL BURN THE ROBES! NO I BETTER STERILE THEM!”

"HOT BATH! WHAT I NEED IS A HOT BATH!" his insides screamed.

-)-)-)

A piercing wail entered his ear causing him to shot up being startled. Closing his eyes he tried to calm down and return his racing heartbeat to normal levels. The baby’s wails intensified.

"I am not an expert," Snape thought "but I do understand that those kinds of shrieks are not because of a diaper."

Opening his eyelids he stared at Harry groggily.

The small infant had his fists clenched at his chest and his knees drown up to his chest. Tear drops glistened as they run down his cheeks; and his face was tomato-red from the wails of agony. The hook-nosed professor touched baby Harry’s cheek, who wailed in agony even louder. Fighting with his bedcovers, in order to get out of the bed, he tripped and fell. Half- tripping, half-walking he found himself in front of the fireplace. Rising in full position he grasped a handful of blue powder from a white jar. He threw the powder into the fire, which sizzled and changed to a violet colour. Standing at four he took a deep breath and muttering a groggy “hospital wing” he shoved his head into the violet blazes.

Snape closed his eyes while he felt the annoying grasp by the neck. His head moved forward as if someone was pulling it to the direction he wanted. Yet he felt no pain since his neck was now a giant piece of rubber that was extending and twisting inside Hogwarts’ chimneys. When his head had stopped moving he opened his eyes and looked into the hospital wing. His nose twitched in annoyance. Hospital smell and ash combined. It was, certainly, not his favourite. Madam Pomfrey lowered to his eye-level.

“Severus what is the purpose of your visit?”

“Since I do not tend to visit people at three o’ clock in the morning, I believe you can guess the cause of my visit.”

“Is Harry sick Severus?”

“Well there is certainly something wrong with him. He cries in agony and he is really tensed.”

“In what kind of position does he rest?”

“His fists are clenched at his chest and his knees are drawn up to his chest.”

Poppy retreated into a room next door and to Snape’s shock she let out an evil chuckle. "Something says that I am not going to like this” he thought waiting for Madam Pomfrey to return.

“As I suspected it” Madam Pomfrey said returning back. “Ready for the good news?”

“Go on Poppy! I do not have all night!”

“Harry is fine.”

”And is this supposed to be good news?”

“Severus!” Madam Pomfrey said in annoyance.

“Ok, ok Poppy I am sorry. What were you saying?”

“As I was saying Harry is fine. He is just suffering from the common baby disease named Colic.”

The Potion’s Master turned white. His mother had once described how he had suffered from a Colic disease as a baby. And the worst part was that there is no potion to relieve the pain.

“From the look on your face I can imagine that you know all about this disease. The only thing I can do is to give you some things to do. Here’s the paper” she said as she put the piece of paper into his mouth. “Be patient ok?” she shouted as his head disappeared.

-)-)-)

Snape towered himself over baby Harry, who was still crying being lament. He studied the paper and cursed.

"I am supposed to get all cuddly and wiggly for you to get better? Well no bloody way!" he thought looking at baby Harry. Baby Harry wailed loudly, half-gasping for air. Snape’s eyes closed and he thought for a moment or two. Then he sat on the bed and he put the small body on his laps. Turning the baby so that it would lie on its stomach, he placed his hand at its back. He moved his hand in a circle- like way, something that seemed to comfort Harry. Harry’s wails turned from being irritated to just lament. The hook-nosed professor blinked. This cuddly thingy really had an effect on Potter.

"But how do I become nice to him?" he thought. Harry let a wail.

“Ok . . . Potter. . . You are not so bad. . . I guess. . .” he started while a part of his brain was shouting at him "What are you doing there you idiot? Don’t get into such deep waters!"

He continued rubbing Harry’s back, while Harry cried and cried

“Well. . . You know. . . I am not good at words. . . You may be a little menace Potter . . . but . . . well you look... How do I say this? . . . You look . . . well you know . . . Cute!” he said shuddering a little. Harry turned his head and looked at him with the olive-green eyes of his. However he started wailing as he felt a new spasm. “It’s ok Potter. . . Almost every baby goes through this phase. . . Try to think of something ok? Like . . . I don’t know . . . kittens or something.”

Two hours later Harry started calming down. Snape took him into his arms and paced up and down his room. He felt like every one of his joints would dissemble, turning him into a pile of ashes. Harry sobbed being irritated. The professor touched the little baby’s cheek .

“Ok Potter. We will make an agreement. I will take you for a ride but you are not going to tell anyone because If you do; I will have to kill you before Poppy will haunt me for my skin”

Harry blinked and then cooed. Snape nodded and unlocked a door that was behind his office. Taking out a “Firebolt” he sat and kicked upwards. Holding the broomstick’s handle in one hand and baby Harry at the other, he flew outside the bedroom’s window. The sky was coal-black and the stars were shinning like diamonds. Snape breathed the fresh air and felt the breeze petting his hair. He passed over the lake and saw the moon mirroring on the clear water. Seeing that Harry was sleeping deeply, he returned to his chambers and tucked the infant inside his bed. He lied inside his bed and looked at the luminous magic clock.

"Two hours till sunrise," he thought while he yawned and drifted to sleep.

The End.
End Notes:
I finished it at last. So it is your turn now to review. Yes sir! Get a pen or your keyboard and review!


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1087