Harry found himself, once more, perched on the rock and watching as the wind sent the last of the fallen leaves onto the still waters of the lake. He couldn’t believe that Christmas was fast approaching. Thoughts were swarming around in his mind. He’d be going to Snape’s home for the Holiday; it would just be the two of them. He didn’t know if he was excited or just anxious about the whole thing. Sometimes, he really didn’t understand why Snape kept him around. He was probably the most troublesome kid there ever was. Trouble seemed to follow him around like a puppy dog; only it was a vicious puppy dog.

His thoughts kept coming back to the incident with Professor Dillard. What a mess that turned out to be. The man had to be a sociopath. A condition every hateful man seemed to possess and which he seemed to be attracting a lot of these days.

He was pulled from his depressing thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. He jumped instinctively and wrenched his shoulder away from the touch. He was standing now and felt stupid as he realized who it was.

“Sorry about that, Fred.” he mumbled, still embarrassed. Harry glanced up at his friend and clearly saw the concern there.

“Me too, I didn’t mean to scare you.” replied Fred.

Harry shrugged. “No problem.”

Fred sighed. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Nothing much. Just thinking about some things. What are you doing out here?” Harry could hazard a guess. It seemed he always came here to think, and Fred could always find him here for a talk.

“Trying to find you, actually.”

Harry smirked. “Found me. What’d you want?”

“Just to see how you were doing. I haven’t had the chance to talk to you for a few days. Is Professor Snape keeping you under lock and key, or what?” he asked, jokingly.

“Not far from it, actually. I think he’s just over protective just now. I can’t really blame him, I guess.”

“Well, I would be paranoid too, if someone kept attacking my kid.” replied Fred, arms crossed against his chest. Harry flinched.

“Yeah, well…” Harry stopped, lost as to what to say to his friend.

“It’s okay, Harry.” said Fred when the silence had become awkward. “How are you doing, though?”

“Pretty good, I guess. Glad to get out and get some fresh air, that’s for sure.” he said, smiling.

Fred grinned. “I’m sure. What are you going to be doing for Christmas?” he asked, taking Harry by surprise.

“I was just thinking about that.” remarked Harry. “Well, I’m going home with Severus.”

Harry laughed at the look on Fred’s face. “He has a house?”

“Well, yeah. What’d you think, he lived here all year round?” asked Harry, not mentioning that he used to think the same thing.

“Kinda.” laughed Fred.

Fred motioned for Harry to make room for him on the rock before flopping down beside the boy. “This is pretty nice, actually. The breeze and the scenery are pretty relaxing, aren’t they?” Harry nodded his agreement.

“I like to come out here to think, or just sit and do nothing and not worry about being bothered. Other than you, most people leave me alone when I’m sitting out here.” he said.

Fred seemed unsure of Harry’s words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d mind if I came out to talk. If you want me to leave, I will.” he said.

“No!” said Harry quickly, sitting up straighter and locking gazes with the redhead. “I didn’t mean that, I was just saying. It’s nice to have company too, you know.” he emphasized, patting the empty stone beside him that Fred had vacated. “Sit down.”

Fred shrugged. “Okay.”

The two sat quietly for a moment, both unsure of what to say to the other. “Did you hear?” asked Harry suddenly.

“No, what?”

“Well, since Professor Dillard is no longer employed here,” he paused, seeing Fred’s angry look at the mention of the Professor, but continued. “We’re going to need a replacement. Guess who it is?” asked Harry, excitedly.

Fred turned his face up towards the sky, seeming to ponder the question. “Um…Remus Lupin.” he said, and then laughed. “In our dreams.”

Harry smiled. “Well then, apparently some dreams do come true, because you’re right.”

“What-t?” sputtered Fred. “How?”

“It’s just for the rest of the school term, mind you, but Professor Dumbledore asked him, considering how short notice it all is. He said yes. Dumbledore can be pretty persuasive, too. I can’t wait! I’ve been dreading Defense classes all this time, and now I won’t have to.” he said happily.

Fred frowned once more at the mention of Harry’s hard time with Dillard. “I wish you’d have told us, Harry. Every time I think of that jerk, I just want to pummel him into the ground.”

Harry started at the older teen’s anger. “Look, it wasn’t that bad or anything, and besides, the first time I was being stupid and naive, thinking it was an accident.” he cringed at his own stupidity. “And, I did tell. I told myself if he hurt me again, I’d tell Severus. And I did.” he said, trying to reassure his friend.

“Ron told me he kept you after class a lot. No offense or anything, but I’m finding it hard to believe that in all those times he never did anything to hurt you.” he paused to look Harry more fully in the face. “What happened during those times?” he asked cautiously.

Harry suddenly found an intense interest in the grass, eyeing it as if it held all the answers. “He didn’t hit me, if that’s what you’re asking.” Harry finally replied.

“That’s not all I’m asking.” said Fred. “There’s more than just one type of abuse.” he added quietly.

Harry looked up at Fred, wondering if he was going to ask the same question Severus had the night everything had blown up with Dillard. He figured he’d head that question off at the pass and get it out of the way. “Look, if you’re thinking he tried to…you know, touch me or something, he didn’t. Ever.” he said, and flinched when he finally looked Fred in the eyes.

“And, I feel like a total idiot now. You didn’t mean that, did you?” he asked. Fred had looked absolutely appalled.

“Well, no, but now I’m concerned!” he said loudly. “You swear he didn’t, because if he did…”

Harry quickly cut him off. “No, God, get your head out of the gutter.”

“You brought it up!” yelled Fred. “How do you expect me to react?”

“Well, I don’t know! But not like this. I just assumed that’s what you meant, since Severus asked me that question that night.” he paused to catch a deep breath. “What the hell did you really mean, then?”

“I was thinking emotional abuse, Harry. For some stupid reason, I hadn’t really thought of the other one. It never even crossed my mind.” he roughly pulled a hand through his hair. “You promise he didn’t?” he asked again.

“Yes, Fred, I promise.” he said. Had he known he’d get such a rise out of Fred, he’d never have even brought it up. He never knew how defensive everyone was of him until Severus let out his secret to the entire school. Not that he was bitter or anything, oh no.

Fred was pacing now. Somewhere in the middle of their semi argument, they had both ended up standing. He finally met Harry’s gaze and sighed. “Sorry about the freak out.” he said, quietly sitting back down on the rock. Harry joined him a moment later. “Well, what did happen while you were held after class with him?” he asked.

Harry shrugged. “Nothing much, really. Usually, he’d have some inane reason that the homework I’d turned in the class before wasn’t good enough. He’d make me fix it, or assign me a detention.” he shrugged again, remembering all the mean spirited things Dillard would say to him. “I think he just wanted to make me feel stupid and insignificant or something…because, it kind of worked.”

Harry hadn’t looked at Fred at all, but when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer, he looked up.

“I’m sorry.” he said.

Harry frowned. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.”

“I know.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was going on Sunday evening before Harry finally made it back to Severus’ quarters. He was surprised to see his guardian pacing the floor when he entered.

“Where have you been? You said you were going out for a breath of fresh air, not an all day excursion!” he ranted, clearly frustrated with him. “Explain yourself!”

Harry inadvertently took a step away from Severus, merely on instinct. It had always saved him in the past, at least. Not that he thought Severus would hit him, or anything, but old habits die hard.

Severus angry face immediately softened. “Please excuse my outburst, I was just concerned.” he said.

Harry nodded, unsure. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stay out so long. I was talking with Fred, and time just got away from me. I came back as soon as I realized how late it was getting.” he tried to explain.

Severus sighed. “Well, in the future, try not to keep me waiting quite so long. Perhaps we’ll have to talk about a curfew and set down some ground rules.”

Harry didn’t know if he liked the sound of ground rules, or not. He found himself thinking of ‘ground rules’ when concerning the Dursley’s. However, Vernon Dursley’s idea of rules was ‘do it or I’ll make you regret it’. Obviously, things wouldn’t be quite the same with Severus. But, this was all still so new to him. He couldn’t help but feel like he was cramping Severus’ style. He felt bad about that. If it weren’t for him, Severus could be out doing…whatever it was he did, instead of having to deal with a teenaged boy.

Harry finally nodded. “Yeah, ground rules.” he said absently.

Severus eyed the boy casually. “Yes, like when you tell me you’ll be back at a certain time, you come back at that pre-determined time. I know you have a lot on your mind, and that the time could have slipped away from you, but honestly Harry, it’s dark outside. Are you trying to tell me that you didn’t notice the change from light to dark?” he asked.

The raven-haired teen sighed. He’d hoped he had gotten out of any scolding for him being so obviously late.

“I really didn’t realize it had gotten so late. If I had, I would have come back sooner. I swear it.” he said, hoping his guardian would understand.

“I still hardly believe you didn’t notice the days transition. I know you were outside this entire time. There is no reason for you to have stayed out as late as you did. You could have at least came inside to inform me of your delay, instead of making me worry needlessly.” he said. His voice remained calm, but his eyes showed the slight anger and disappointment.

Harry didn’t know exactly how to make this better. He hadn’t ever really had a guardian who calmly scolded him, as compared to the screaming and flinging of abuse at the Dursley’s. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. He didn’t think ‘I’m sorry’ was going to cut it.

“Look, I didn’t mean for it to happen, and I’ll try and make sure it doesn’t happen ever again.” he said finally, hoping it was the right thing to say.

Severus frowned. Apparently that wasn’t good enough. “You’ll try?” asked Snape, sarcasm tinting the edges of his voice.

Harry stared at his guardian in confusion. What else could he do, but try? Harry didn’t want to say he’d never do it again, he knew himself too well. It was more likely than not to definitely happen again. He never paid attention to what was going on around him whenever he was deeply engrossed in something. He grew more and more worried when Severus seemed to get even more agitated when he didn’t answer right away.

“I’m not s-sure what you w-want me to say.” he stuttered out.

Severus seemed oblivious to Harry’s discomfort; he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts. “Say you won’t ever do it again. That’s what I want you to say. But, clearly, it’s not what you want to say.” he said.

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” Harry asked suddenly, startling Severus.

“A big deal? Harry, you were missing, doing who only knows what, and you didn’t even have the courtesy to come and explain yourself to me. I was worried, that is what the ‘big deal’ is. For me, at least.”

Harry could only continue to stare at him. Harry noticed that Snape had been checking his watch sporadically throughout this entire conversation.

“I’m going to be too late.” he muttered under his breath, but Harry caught it.

“Too late for what?” he asked, concerned. He hadn’t meant for Snape to miss…well, whatever it was he was missing.

“An Order meeting.” he grumbled.

‘Well, no wonder he’s so grumpy’ thought Harry.

“Then, why don’t you just go?” he asked.

Snape glared at him. “And leave you unattended?” he asked.

For some reason, this annoyed Harry to no end. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need an attendant.”

“Don’t you take that tone of voice with me, young man.” hissed Severus. Harry took another step back, and ended up toppling into the armchair behind him.

Severus sighed. “Sometimes, I don’t know what to do with you.”

Harry wasn’t sure what that meant. But, he did know he was feeling more and more unwanted the more Snape continued with his pointless rant. He didn’t understand why the man wouldn’t just let this go. Maybe he wanted Harry to get mad and leave? Harry felt his heart lurch at the thought. He didn’t want to go, but if it would make things easier on Severus, he would. Harry sighed sadly. “If you don’t want me here, just say so.” he said dejectedly. When Severus didn’t say anything, he thought he had made the right decision. And his heart broke.

Severus voice finally broke the silence. “What? Why on earth would you think something like that?” he asked, stunned.

Harry was so confused, he felt like he was being pulled in two directions. Did Snape want him, or not? “I’m annoying you, I can tell. And, I’m getting in your way. If it wasn’t for me, you’d have been able to go tonight, but you had to wait for me instead. I can tell when I’m not wanted.” he said, turning his head away when his voice broke.

Severus was speechless. Had he over-reacted with Harry? What had he done? Merlin, he really didn’t know what he was doing. Severus quickly leaned down in front of the boy, placing both hands on Harry’s knees. “Harry, that’s not true. Indeed, you’re as far away from the truth as you could possibly get.” he said, letting all the emotions he was feeling filter into his eyes. Harry had to understand. How could he not want him? Harry was like a son to him now; he’d never give him up, never.

Harry refused to make eye contact with Severus. “I don’t understand why you would even feel that way about me.” he whispered.

“Why, Harry? Why wouldn’t I?” asked Severus, confused.

The teen tried to move his legs out of reach, but the older man kept a firm grip on his knees. “Answer the question, please.” he said stern, yet concerned.

Harry turned his head down and took the armrests into a death grip, his knuckles turning white due to the pressure. “I won’t fall for this trick again.” he said, his voice shaking.

Severus eyed the unhappy teen questioningly. “What are you talking about, Harry?”

The raven-haired boy took to gripping the armrests even harder. “The Dursley’s.” he spat.

Severus remained quiet, hoping his child would continue on his train of thought. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Sometimes, they would act like they cared, like they actually wanted me, and then I’d do something and they’d take it all away. I realize now that it was just another way to hurt me for them. But, it’s not happening again. Stop stringing me around. If you don’t want me, just say so. You can stop this before you get too far in, just give up guardianship of me. Because I refuse to ruin someone else’s life.”

The dark haired man stood from his lowered position and stood there, shocked. He could only stare at the boy seated in the chair beneath him. Harry was looking at him cautiously, as if unsure.

Seeming to think he had said the wrong thing, he began to apologize. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t really mean it. I swear.” began Harry, but Severus cut him off.

“No, Harry. Don’t take it back just to make me feel better. I know you meant every word you just uttered.” Snape said, beginning to pace before the hesitant teen. “You honestly believe I would give up guardianship of you? How little you know of me.” And how little you think of yourself, he thought.

Harry remained silent for a moment. “I don’t know what you want. What do you want me to say, to do?” he paused, pulling a hand roughly through his disheveled hair. “And why haven’t you given up guardianship of me, yet? I mean, you kept saying you were going to adopt me, but you never have, you never did. What do you expect me to think? If you had wanted me, you would have taken the next step, but you haven’t. Actions speak louder than words, you know.” And he suddenly stopped, as if realizing he had just spoke out loud. “Oh no.” he murmured.

“Harry…” Severus began, and immediately trailed off. He was completely flabbergasted. Was this child so broken that he didn’t even realize he was wanted? That Severus, in particular, wanted him? He had no idea what to say. There were so many thoughts running through his mind, so many things he could possibly say, but they all seemed so inadequate in the face of…this. Harry, this child that he was taking care of, whom he…loved, and Merlin, did it feel good to say that, who didn’t even realize he was so desperately needed.

“Harry, I do want to adopt you. The only reason I never proceeded on the adoption was because of you. I wanted to make sure it was truly what you wanted before I ever took that last step. If you didn’t want me as your legal guardian permanently, I wasn’t about to force it upon you.” he began to explain his thoughts on the whole adoption.

The raven-haired boy looked up at him with those bright green eyes, and Severus knew a sudden protective feeling, the likes of which he had never experienced before.

“Oh.” was the only articulate reply Harry could seem to come up with.

“Well, is it what you want, Harry? Because if it isn’t, you have to tell me now, so we can find something else for you. I won’t force this on you, I promise you that, but I won’t have you going back to the Dursley’s either. It is going to have to be either having me as your adoptive father, of we’ll have to find someplace else…safe.” he finished, looking Harry firmly in the eyes.

“I wouldn’t have to go back to the Dursley’s…? I mean, if there were ever any problems, or such, and you didn’t want…couldn’t take care of me, I wouldn’t have to go back to them?” he asked, his uncertainty making Severus’ chest ache.

“Harry, I will always want you, and you will never be turned away by me, no matter what you do.” he said, catching Harry’s slip in wording. “And, yes, you would never return to the Dursley’s. What they did to you in that house is unforgivable. They hurt you, Harry; I wouldn’t let you go back to them, no matter what. Do you understand that?” he asked, voice firm.

Harry looked so uncomfortable that he almost let the subject drop, but he waited nonetheless. “I do understand. But, really, they weren’t all that bad. I don’t want you thinking I went home every summer and they were beating me half to death, or anything.” he said rather quickly.

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, and locking you in a small closet was any better?” he asked, scathingly.

If anything, Harry grew to look even more uncomfortable than he had been. “Sorry.” he muttered.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” he replied.

Harry shrugged, dismissing the conversation. Severus could do that. “Back to the matter at hand. Are you certain you want this adoption?” he asked.

Harry nodded fervently. Severus could help but feel a little jolt of pride at Harry’s exuberance.

“Very well, I’ll speak with Albus on the matter, and we’ll have the adoption finalized.” he said.

“Really?” asked Harry, uncertain. “Do you mind if I go hang out with my friends for a while?” he asked quickly.

Severus nodded. He knew Harry might have a little difficulty getting it through his thick skull that he was really wanted. He planned on working on that. He also knew that the boy would be wanting to spend some time with his friends, after being angry at them for so long over the intervention, as he referred to it, especially with the holidays coming up. “That would be fine. Have you gotten all of your things packed?” he asked.

“Yes. When will we be leaving?”

“Well, probably as soon as the rest of the castle has emptied. Are all of your friends going home for the Christmas holidays?” he asked.

“Yes. Ron asked me to go home with him and his family, but I told him I already had plans with you.” he said.

“As indeed you do.”

“What time do you want me back?” he asked hesitantly.

Severus knew he was thinking of the argument they had had earlier. “Before curfew, if you think you could manage it?” he asked, sarcasm just barely showing through.

“Yes, sir.” he said, and meekly walked out the door.

………………………………………………………………..

Severus was surprised when, an hour later, there came a soft knock at the door. He knew immediately who it was, when the wards kicked in. He knew her magical signature anywhere. He hadn’t seen her around lately, and had been about to go and visit her before the Order meeting, but things had gotten sour with Harry.

He quickly opened the door and watched as she slowly entered into his quarters. “Good evening, Severus. How are you feeling?” she asked, making herself comfortable on his couch. He sighed at her ability to act as if every room seemed to belong to her.

“Excellent. How are you?” he asked, getting the formalities out of the way. He could tell she wanted something; he just was in doubt of what that might be.

“Fine.” She began, before taking a deep breath. “But, I miss my friends, Severus.”

“Ah, so that is why you’ve been so quiet recently.”

Deliverance looked slightly surprised. “You noticed?”

“Well of course. I’m not so absorbed in myself that I wouldn’t notice that something has been bothering my favorite cousin.” he chastised.

Deliverance let out a short laugh. “I’m your only cousin, Severus…well, alive, at least.”

“True.” replied Severus. “Well, what is it you want?” he asked, getting straight to the heart of the matter.

“I want to go home, Sev.” she said quietly.

Severus stood quietly for a moment. He knew the Death Eaters had made no more effort to search the island with the Orb destroyed, and technically, it would be safe for her to return. He just hadn’t mentioned it yet, in the hopes she would want to stay here, with him, with Harry. But, he wouldn’t force her to, just like he wouldn’t force Harry into the adoption.

“Alright.” he sighed, and smirked at the surprise on Del’s face.

“You’re going to let me?” she asked.

“Well, it’s not as if I can make you stay.”

“Is it safe then?”

“Of course it is. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even be thinking about stepping foot outside of this castle and even remotely in the direction of your home. But yes, it is safe, I believe. You could go back home.” he said slowly.

“Oh, Severus. I’m so glad. I really wanted to spend Christmas with Jessica and Frank, and now I can. They’ll be so worried. I’ve been gone for so long, and I promised I’d keep in touch, only I haven’t been able to.”

“Interesting.” replied Severus, clearly not caring who Jessica and Frank were.

“Do you mind, Severus? I don’t want to leave if you need me to stay. Would Harry mind? I definitely don’t want to leave and make things more difficult on him. He’s obviously more important than Jessie and Frank. Do you think he would mind?” she asked, worried.

“No, Deliverance, he’d rather you be happy. I honestly don’t think he’ll mind.” he answered truthfully.

She wrung her hands together worriedly. “I just hate leaving him after everything he’s been through. I can’t believe the gall of some people. I declare.” she mumbled to herself.

“He’ll be fine, Del. He’ll be safe in my care, you know this, now go on back home. I realize you must have missed your friends while you were here. Make sure to tell Harry, however. He’ll be upset if you don’t mention it to him before you go.” said Severus.

Deliverance gave her cousin a condescending look. “Well really, Severus. Of course I wouldn’t leave before telling the boy good-bye. Honestly.” she huffed.

Severus smirked. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” he asked, ignoring her last comment.

“Yes. I’ll stop by in the morning, perhaps.”

“Good. I’ll see you then. I’m extremely fatigued and would like to procure at least a semblance of sleep tonight, if you don’t mind.” he said, escorting his cousin to the door. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, dear.” she whispered, kissing the tired man on the cheek before leaving, the door shutting quietly behind her.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

The first day of Christmas Holidays found Harry safely snuggled down deep in his cushiony pillows and blankets. Severus and he had arrived the night before. The house was even more magnificent than he’d remembered. It was absolutely the largest house, no mansion practically, that he’d ever seen. It reminded him of a castle really, but not as extravagant as Hogwarts by any means. But Harry loved the mysteriousness of it. There was a secret passageway in his room! He’d found it accidentally in his closet while putting away his things. He’d kicked a part of the wall in frustration and a door suddenly popped out of the wall. He felt like he had his own secret way around the Manor. He planned on exploring it later.

However, breakfast was fast approaching. He knew Severus got very annoyed if he wasn’t on time for breakfast. Honestly, just because breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the day.

He quickly descended the many staircases that lead into the foyer before branching off into the dining area and a currently unexplored corridor.

Severus was seated at the table when he entered, already eating a lightly buttered piece of toast.

“Good morning.” he said, placing the half-eaten toast on his plate. “What would you like for breakfast?”

Harry thought for a moment. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and juice sounded good. He said as much to Severus.

“How did you sleep?”

“Great, considering it was my first night in a new house. I’m surprised all the unfamiliar noises didn’t keep me awake.” said Harry, chewing thoughtfully.

“Considering yesterday was extremely hectic, it’s no surprise you were exhausted.” replied Severus, closely regarding the teen. “Did Deliverance come and wish you farewell?”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I was kind of hoping she would spend Christmas with us, but I can understand why she wanted to go back home.”

“Indeed, she missed her friends dearly. It had been months since she’d last seen them. I’m surprised she stayed as long as she did, honestly.”

The raven-haired teen nodded. “Me too, actually. Hopefully she’ll come and visit again soon.”

“Perhaps.” Replied Severus, buttering another slice of toast. “We’ll invite her to visit sometime this summer.”

Harry slowly took a bite of his scrambled eggs. Somehow, he still didn’t believe he’d be here during summer. The thought continually crossed through his mind that Severus would realize what a nuisance he was and take him back to the Dursley’s.

“I received something from Albus this morning.” began Severus. “Here, I think you’ll want to read it.”

He slowly pushed a paper across the table. Harry grabbed it as it drew closer and looked down at the words written there. It was really happening. These were the adoption papers. All he had to do was sign, his signature was the only one left. He shakily looked up, emotion pooling in his eyes. And he couldn’t believe he was tearing up. He could only think of one thing to say.

“Do you have a quill?” he asked, smiling unsteadily.

One seemed to suddenly appear directly in his hand, startling him. “Thanks.” he quickly scrawled his name, before either of them had a chance to change their minds. Once his signature had been written, the paper rolled up all on its own and disappeared with a bright purple light.

“It’s official now.” remarked Severus. “You’re my son.”