What Might Have Been by Leggylover03
Summary: What might have been had Harry not gone to the Dursley's all those years ago, but instead been raised as a wizard.
Categories: Parental Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Dumbledore, Lily, Lucius, McGonagall, Molly, Ron, Voldemort
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Angst, Drama
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Child fic
Takes Place: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 46 Completed: No Word count: 79855 Read: 157792 Published: 05 May 2006 Updated: 01 May 2010
Your Life is Not Worth Mine by Leggylover03
Author's Notes:
Completely AU of course

Severus apparated back to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and ran towards Hogwarts. His mind had only one thought, Harry. He pushed open the front doors and found Hagrid still sitting on the floor just as he had been when he had left him. Again Severus' heart went out to the half giant, but he had no time, not now.

As he passed Hagrid he heard him sobbing, and even Severus in his own race to get to Harry could not pass him by without saying something. When he neared Hagrid no words would come however, and he found himself placing a hand upon his shoulder, the only sign of comfort he could give. He lingered there for a minute, hoping he had somehow helped but then he took off in the direction of the hospital ward.

Severus entered the room quite out of breath, and strode quickly to his son's side. Harry still looked so pale, so lifeless lying there on the bed. Severus blinked a couple of times, hoping maybe he would suddenly see Harry as he had that morning smiling at him, but alas it was not to be. The only thing Severus saw was the viselike grip death had on his son.

Albus stood on the other side of Harry's bed, watching, waiting as if for some clue to tell him something. He stroked Harry's head, and took his small hand in his.

"I did not know Severus. Had I only noticed the spell beforehand."

Severus head was bowed to hide his tears, but Albus Dumbledore could not be fooled and lifted the chin to meet his gaze.

"Why would Harry do such a thing? Why would he perform such a spell, and furthermore how did he?"

"Harry is a remarkable child, one we will learn many things from. I do not have the answer you seek Severus, only one knows the answer."

Albus left the room, and then Severus was alone in his misery. Harry although before him, did not feel alive. His hands were cold to the touch, his eyes closed, his father's tears unseen. There was no bedtime story tonight, no I love you Dad, before going to sleep. Tonight there was only silence, an eerie silence that threatened to choke Severus.

Severus did not move, did not stir from his seat, even at the urging of Albus to get some rest. He would not leave his son. He would be there when he wakened, if he wakened from this. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind in the hours of the darkness. How he had chosen to follow one that could lead to this he did not know. How Harry had changed him completely. Severus knew he no longer wished for the solitude of being alone, nor did he ever really want it. His youth had been spent in torment, friendless except for Lucius who had only used him, and Severus became bitter, uncaring to all who knew him.

All these things combined had led him astray, until that day Harry had come into his life. Now Severus rushed home each day to share in what new things Harry had done, or achieved. Milestones, Albus had called them when Severus showed him Harry's first tooth that had fallen out, but Severus called them something more. He called them precious moments, that neither man nor monster could take from him. These were the thoughts he held closely to him as he waited for some sign of life.

It was as the sun broke through the clouds and shined into the window that Severus felt Harry's hand move beneath his. He jumped from the chair, knocking it to the floor in his haste.

"Harry? can you hear me son?"

Harry did not answer back, the only sound in the room was of Severus' heartbeat racing.

"Harry, it is Dad. Can you open your eyes for me?"

Harry could hear his father's pleading voice but his body ached. He wanted to cry out to his father, to tell him he needed one of his potions, but his mouth was dry, unable to utter a single word. Harry did the only thing he could, he moved his hand slightly to let his father know he heard him.

Severus called for Madame Pomfrey, and the mediwitch came running to the bedside.

"Harry moved, he moved. He is alive!" Severus said, picking up Pomfrey and twirling her around before setting her back on her feet again. Severus then sat back down as if he had not just scared Poppy Pomfrey half out of her wits, and took Harry's hand in his again, waiting for another sign.

Both Albus and Minerva came in and checked on Harry, but the boy made no other moves to show he was coming around. Dumbledore assured Severus that Harry would waken, given time, and then they would see the extent of his mental state. Severus blanched at that, but he could not deny that Harry could possibly be rendered unstable after having the Killing curse placed on him. Severus waited all day long, taking his meals at Harry's bedside, and only getting up to use the loo.

It was late in the night, and Severus was looking quite haggard himself, eyes dark and red from crying, and his clothing crumpled from having slept in the chair again. Harry could hear someone talking, someone talking to him, and he wanted to answer, wanted to leave the dark place where he had been for too long. It was cold in this place, and he was scared.

With much effort Harry strained to open his eyes, and after several minutes he managed to open just one, and he could see his father mumbling something to a house elf. Harry wanted to scream from the highest tower in Hogwarts; his father was alive. His voice however did not want to cooperate and Harry found it hurt quite a bit to speak. What came out was more of a whimper than a word, but it brought his father to him.

"Harry!" he yelled, taking his son in his arms and holding him. Severus was overjoyed. His son was awake.

Harry tried to speak, but there was simply no moisture left in his mouth. Severus saw his struggle and lifted the glass of water to his lips and let some of it slid down his throat. When he placed the cup on the table again, Harry nodded his head in thanks.

"Harry, son, can you tell me why you would do such a terrible thing? Why would you be so foolish as to cast an Empathy spell?"

Albus and Minerva came through the door just in time to hear Harry response.

"To save you Dad, so they wouldn't take me away to the orphanage," Harry rasped out. A coughing fit started then and Harry pointed to the glass of water again, and this time he gulped the water down.

Minerva and Albus excused themselves to give Severus some time alone with Harry, and Poppy told them she would be back in a few minutes to check Harry over.

Severus sat in the chair, the words soaking in, and it was a minute or two before he trusted himself to speak.

"Harry, my life is not worth yours. What you did was foolish and you could have died."

Harry stared at his father, his brow wrinkled as if he were thinking. Severus thought maybe he had been too harsh with his words and regretted them. He went to speak, but Harry beat him to it.

"Why would I want to live with anyone else? What good is living if you are dead?" Harry then seemed to come to the conclusion that he was in trouble and his small frame began to tremble.

"I'm sorry Dad, I didn't mean to do something so bad, but I couldn't let them hurt you anymore, I just couldn't."

Harry whole body now shook with sobs, but his body was so dehydrated no tears fell from his eyes. He clutched the sheets to him, and lowered his head.

Severus was stunned. His whole life he had waited for someone to love him just the way he was. Someone who didn't mind his snarky attitude, or his obsession with potions late into the night. All he ever wanted was for someone to love him for him, and now he had found out the person who did, who loved him unconditionally was Harry. His son had spoken the words of someone ten times his age in wisdom, and yet he was only seven.

Staring at Harry Severus' last attempt at being strong faded and his knees gave way sending him to the floor. There Severus sat till he felt the small hand atop his head, and he turned to stare into the eyes of his son. Gathering him up in his arms he laid Harry back down on the bed, and soon Harry was asleep again curled up in his father's lap. It was only then that Severus allowed his eyes to close, for it was only then he felt secure in the fact that his son was all right.

To be continued...


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