Snape’s gaze turned on Draco who glared defiantly at him. "Why did you stop me! Potter had it coming to him!"

Snape’s anger threatened to overwhelm him. He had to literally take a few calming breaths before continuing. "The Cruciatus curse is as you well know an illegal curse!" Snape spat out, his dark eyes boring into Draco’s. "Technically you should immediately be expelled and sent to Azkaban. Is that what you want? Do you want to be locked in a cell with your father?" Snape’s voice grew deadlier.

Draco didn’t respond, his gaze dropped to the floor.

"Well, Draco! Speak up!" Then Snape added in a low hiss, "are you missing the beatings? Is that why you are so mad at Potter for getting your father locked up?"

Draco’s head shot up, his eyes narrowed into an icy glare. "He would be PROUD of me for cursing Potter!"

Snape smiled maliciously. "For how long? Think about it Draco, how long has his moments of being proud of you ever lasted? An hour?" He raised an eyebrow. "A day perhaps? Or if your really really lucky maybe even a week. But then what would happen? Perhaps word would come through that Mr. Potter won a Quidditch match or Ms. Grainger excelled at her studies and you, well you would be twiddling your thumbs in Azkaban being USELESS. What do you suppose Lucius would do then?"

Draco’s gaze dropped to the floor again.

Snape in a cold dry voice added. "In retrospect you really should be grateful to Potter for removing that man from your life for awhile!"

Draco’s head snapped up. A cloud of anger darkening his eyes. "What? Are you standing up for Potter now!" he yelled at Snape.

Snape narrowed his eyes, disgust heavy in his voice, "what’s wrong with you. Have you lost all capability to use your brain? Your behavior has gotten so far out of hand. If any other teacher had come across this scene today you would be expelled!"

Snape then took a thoughtful breath. "Since your punishment lies with me now, you will tomorrow in the luncheon hall, apologize to Potter!"

Draco’s mouth dropped open in shock. "Are you mad?"

Snape’s eyes narrowed dangerously. "What did you just say?"

Draco’s mouth went dry. "Professor Snape, you can’t be serious."

He paused then; thinking of the humiliation this would bring. His gray eyes narrowed and he snapped defiantly, "YOU can’t make me."

Snape smirked wryly, so the spoiled prince in Draco was acting up. He hated what he had to do next but he had to be tough, it was the only way to get the upper hand with him. He steeled himself inside knowing how wrenching it would be. He stared hard at Draco, and then he very slowly and very deliberately unbuckled his belt and with a snap pulled it off. Draco his eyes widening in unconcealed fear, turned even paler than he usually was. With a horrified expression of disbelief he backed against the wall. He couldn’t believe Snape would do this to him, he braced himself for what he thought would come. He clenched his teeth but never once broke eye contact with Snape. When Snape folded the belt in two and lifted it in the air, Draco cringed and slowly shook his head, his eyes wide and pleading. A small gasp escaped his lips as Snape stepped closer. The silver eyes unwittingly filling with tears of hopelessness.

Snape then very deliberately threw the belt down onto the floor in front of him. It had been gut wrenching for him to frighten Draco into thinking he would act like Lucius but he needed for Draco to identify the difference. Draco exhaled loudly, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "If I were Lucius I would make you and you know even better than I how! Since I am not your father and since I am someone who CARES for you and finds your behavior increasingly worrisome, I will give you an option, you either apologize to Potter tomorrow morning like I said. Or you will find yourself in detention for a month doing the most menial jobs Filch can dream up for you plus all privileges of attending Hogsmeade weekends, and special events will be revoked. Do I make myself clear!" Snape growled in a tone that caused knots of fear to curl in Draco’s stomach.

He swallowed, and blinked rapidly, his heart feeling heavy, betrayed but also relieved that Snape hadn’t gone through with it. He nodded miserably while hoarsely responding, "yes, sir."

"Good! I hope you realize your punishment this time is extremely mild compared to your actions, if I ever see or hear any further behavior such as this, the consequences next time will be far more serious. Do you understand?"

Silence

"Draco!"

"Yes sir." Draco responded in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Now go to your room and stay there for the rest of the night! Tomorrow after you have apologized to Potter, you and I will talk!"

Draco took a step forward but his foot bumped the belt that lay before him, he flinched then slowly stepped over it. He glanced at Snape with a look so full of anguish that Snape’s heart clenched in pain. Draco then tore down the hallway as fast as he could away from him. Snape closed his eyes. His hands were shaking. He had to get through to Draco and if scaring him senseless at the moment was what it took to keep him in line then he had to do it. He didn’t know what he would have done if Draco had started to utter the Avada Kedavra curse at Potter, thankfully it hadn’t come to that yet. He would have had to turn him in. After a minute he wearily went to retire for the night preparing a dreamless sleeping potion for himself this time.

_____________________________________________________________

Harry was very weary. He made it to the common room and found it deserted. Gratefully he collapsed on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Why did Snape have to be so mean to him? He said he didn’t mean to hurt him but his words always did. He kept reaching inside him and making him feel things he was trying so hard not to think about. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it close to him while watching the flames. Thoughts of Sirius and how just months ago he used to communicate through the fireplace with him rushed back making the ache in his heart more painful.

"Harry, we’ve been looking for you." Ron and Hermione entered the room.

Harry gave them a small smile. "Well you’ve found me."

Hermione sat down closely beside him, "Where have you been?"

Harry looked pale and tired. He looked up at Hermione briefly with a bit of a tortured look. "Snape’s office."

Ron groaned. "Was it bad?"

Harry didn’t want to talk about Snape. "I had a run in with Malfoy on the way here. He almost put the Cruciatus curse on me."

"Bloody hell!" was Ron’s startled reply.

"He WHAT!" Hermione sat up furious. "That’s an illegal curse, he should be expelled! I’m talking to Professor McGonagall…"

"NO!" Harry interrupted her shouting, "stop meddling in my life."

Both Ron and Hermione froze. Harry’s heart raced as he looked at them.

"I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…" his words faded off as he squeezed his eyes shut. "It’s just that I’m not a baby, I can handle things. Besides Snape stopped him."

"Snape? Snape stopped him?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I don’t think he actually heard Malfoy but he ran into him by mistake, throwing him off balance." Harry responded sounding very tired.

"How have lessons with Snape been?" Hermione asked, determined to get an answer from Harry.

Harry shrugged.

"Harry, please talk to us. What’s wrong?"

Harry stubbornly responded, "I’m fine."

Hermione snorted loudly. "You’ve hardly eating anything in the last few days."

"And you kept waking up from all those weird dreams last night," Ron chimed in.

"I’m fine all right. Snape gave me some Dreamless Sleep potion, so I’ll be fine." Harry got up.

"Harry, you’ve got to take care of yourself," Hermione began as Harry moved away.

"Will the two of you just leave me ALONE!" he practically shouted at them. Then immediately regretted it. "I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that but..." He stopped not knowing exactly what he did mean.

He stood there looking so sad and miserable Hermione leapt off the sofa and threw her arms around him. Wordlessly Harry returned her hug and squeezed her tightly. Ron got up and put his hand on Harry’s shoulder. "Harry, whatever is going on with you, you can tell us you know. We’re your friends, we care about you."

Harry’s throat closed at Ron’s words. After a moment, he cleared his throat and stepped backwards out of Hermione’s embrace. "It’s ok, really I’m just really tired."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "We’ve been through a lot together, and we are in this together what ever this is that’s bothering you. Just because you lost Sirius doesn’t mean you’ll lose us." She watched Harry and saw how at the mention of Sirius’ name, his eyes closed briefly. She knew he was still hurting so much and missing him so much.

"I have to go now because it’s late but I’ll see you tomorrow." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, rubbing his arm in the process. "You know you aren’t the only one who misses him."

Harry blinked and then his green eyes looked into her hers. He nodded slowly but didn’t or couldn’t say anything.

After Hermione left, Ron went over to Harry. "Um I’m not going to hug or kiss you like Hermione just did."

His words forced a smile out of Harry. "You better not."

Ron grinned briefly. "But listen, Harry, I just want to say if you want to talk to me, I’ll listen and I’ll help in anyway I can."

Harry looked into Ron’s earnest face. "Thanks, Ron, I’m really lucky you and Hermione are my friends but there’s nothing to talk about."

Ron challenged him. "It’s Snape isn’t it." Ron speculated with narrowed eyes.

"He’s just being miserable, I think but at least he gave me the potion."

Harry picked up the bottle that he had put on the table.

"Are you learning occlumency now? Is it going well?" Ron asked tentatively, never knowing when Harry might snap at him.

Harry didn’t know how to respond. How could he tell Ron that he was failing and that almost everytime Snape said legilimens, he felt like dying. He didn’t want to do it; he didn’t want to go back there, he didn’t want to talk to anyone about how he was feeling. He just wanted to be left alone.

So he lied, "yeah it’s going fine, I’m getting the hang of it."

"That’s what you said last time, are you sure it’s really happening?"

Ron asked with a note of suspicion.

His eyes narrowed at Ron. "Knock it off with the interrogation! I’m tired and I’m going to bed." With that Harry left.

Ron flinched, he was certain Harry was lying but he was also worried about making him angrier because Harry would withdraw even further.

Awhile later Harry crawled under the covers and quickly took the sleeping draught grateful that for this night he wouldn’t have any disturbing dreams of Sirius and Cedric’s lives ending. He wished he could get his hands on more sleeping potion so he could take it every night.

Harry woke to an empty room. He glanced at the clock and realized it was almost 10:00. The Dreamless Sleep potion had worked very well. Since it was Saturday morning there were no classes but he was scheduled to meet with Snape again at 2:00. He’ll have expected him to have started meeting with Lupin but he had no plans to do so. He would just have to block out Snape’s spell. He would have to stay calm. He kept thinking about the dreamless sleep potion, if he only swallowed a few drops of it, it should make him calm and sleepy. He could then handle whatever Snape threw at him.

He resolved to sneak into Snape’s office sometime before 2:00 to get it. He decided to skip breakfast and have a big lunch. He wanted to avoid Ron and Hermione. They would just ask him questions and want to talk about Sirius. They both had their parents; they didn’t know how it felt to be alone. He got dressed and went out to the lake.

_____________________________________________________________

Severus Snape woke up when a heavy weight landed on his chest. He rubbed Loki under the chin. The large black hairy cat with the pumpkin colored eyes purred at him loudly. He pulled back the covers and got up reluctantly. Today he would see if Draco respected him enough to apologize to Potter or if he would be forced to inflict further punishment on him. Today he would also see if talking to Lupin had helped take some of the grief and guilt off Potter’s shoulders so he could finally make progress in occlumency.

Dumbledore counted on him to work with Harry. He had promised to try and put the past behind him and concentrate on Potter as an individual, not just his father’s son. He saw shades of Lily in him more and more and that was making it easier to care about what happened to him.

_____________________________________________________________

Draco had hardly slept that night. The thought of apologizing to Potter almost made him sick to his stomach. Prince Potter the golden boy, who got all the attention. Everyone loved him. Potter the savior. It was enough to make him want to run begging to Voldemort to make him a Death Eater. Potter, he mentally spat out his name, hatred welling in his heart. He hated Snape for making him do this. How could Snape do this to him? Snape had always supported him. Snape had helped him when Lucius had hurt him so badly he could barely move. Snape was the only person in the world that he trusted and whom he thought would never hurt him. Draco bit his lip suppressing the fear that threatened to overwhelm him. Without Snape he had no one. Crabbe and Goyle were two big stupid goons who latched on to him like two groupies because of the Malfoy name. How was he going to do this? How could he walk up to Potter and apologize? He tried desperately to think of a way out of this. Maybe he could pretend he was sick? It wouldn’t be too much of a lie after all, he was feeling quite queasy. Snape’s dark eyes sprang to mind. It would only postpone the inevitable, he would just make him do it tomorrow. He could opt for the detention and denial of privileges but spending time with Filch and doing his every bidding brought shivers up his spine, that punishment would just go on and on. So he resigned himself to apologizing. It would only take a minute. He sat back down on the edge of his bed, staring out of the window. He swallowed hard. He hoped Potter would accept it and wouldn’t give him a hard time.

_____________________________________________________________

Harry was almost frozen to the bone when he decided to come back in. Sitting outside in the cold air, letting it chill him to a point where he became numb felt good. Sometimes he almost wished the cold would just freeze him over and he wouldn’t ever have to feel again.

It was time for lunch and since he had skipped breakfast he decided he should at least attempt to eat something or Hermione would be on his back. He walked in and wordlessly went to sit beside Hermione and Ron who looked at him worried. He hated it when they did that. He picked at a chicken potpie with little interest.

Snape was eating with the rest of the professors. His dark eyes lit on Potter as he entered and went to sit with his friends. He noticed that he hadn’t spoken to anyone. He realized for the first time that Potter didn’t look very well. Rather pale but flushed at the same time. Was Potter ill and he hadn’t noticed before? He glanced over at Professor Dumbledore whose gaze was also on Potter. Snape was almost too distracted to notice that Draco had entered. Draco’s icy gaze lit on him as if to confirm that he had no choice but to do as he had been told. He could almost feel Draco’s anger. His eyes never left the boy as he headed over to Potter. He must have said something because Potter and the Gryffindor’s around him all turned to Draco. He could see the shock on Potter’s face as well as the rest of them. Potter said something. Then Draco must have said something else. Potter shrugged, said something then turned his back on Draco. Draco his face flushed, then turned and threw an angry glare at Snape, then left the room. Snape noticed Ron and Hermione get up and go after him. This wasn’t good. Snape paused for a moment, should he go after them or should he let them iron things out themselves. Worried over what Draco might do, he decided to interfere. He got up and hurried out.

Harry sat staring at the 3/4s of his chicken potpie that was still on his plate. What had just happened was one of the strangest things he had witnessed in the last few weeks. Malfoy had come up to the table, looked him in the eye and said, "Potter, I just want to say sorry about last night. I hope you accept my apology." He had seemed very determined, yet a spark of anger lay behind his silver eyes. Harry expected a lot of things to happen but Malfoy apologizing to him for almost placing the cruciatus curse on him was not something he had anticipated. Puzzled he had asked, "why are doing this?" Malfoy’s chin went up a notch. "Because I have no choice." Malfoy actually trembled slightly much to Harry’s surprise. It was obvious he wasn’t sincere and someone had forced him. "Fine, whatever, I accept." With disinterest Harry turned back to his food. When Ron and Hermione left the table anger boiled up in him again. Hermione must have told Professor McGonagall who forced Malfoy to say he was sorry. He wondered what she threatened him with because Malfoy wouldn’t have agreed to this willingly.

Draco heart racing, tore down the hallway. He had done it and Potter had nonchalantly accepted his apology. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard the advancing footsteps behind him.

"Malfoy!!! What the bloody hell was that all about?" Weasley suddenly shouted at him.

He turned with fury in his icy eyes. He grinned maliciously. "What’s it to you Weasel and oh look you brought the Mudblood with you."

"You should be in Azkaban with your father," Hermione snapped at him. "Don’t you ever ever even think about using the Cruciatus curse on Harry again. I will go straight to Professor Dumbledore if you do."

"Ooooo I’m scared Mudblood. You better worry about your Muggle parents before someone hurls the Avada Kedavra curse at them. Maybe if I get lucky it will be me!" Malfoy smirked.

Unfortunately right at that moment Snape turned the corner. Draco’s heart almost stopped.

Hermione’s hand had gone to her wand but when Malfoy suddenly trembled and his smirk turned to a look of shock she stopped. She turned to see what had startled him so. She almost expected to see Dumbledore but much to her surprise Snape stood there, his robes billowing around him like a dark smoldering cloud.

"Draco! My office!"

Malfoy stood there not moving. Snape went over to him grabbing him by the scruff of his robe and practically hauled him down the hall.

Ron and Hermione were left staring at each other in shock and confusion.

Snape literally threw Draco into his office sending him flying across the room. He stood there seething with anger.

"You seem determined to get yourself expelled," Snape said in steely dangerous voice.

"I did what you wanted, I apologized to Potter!" Draco shouted angrily.

"Mmhmmm, then you immediately threatened to perform yet another illegal curse, the killing curse no less, on Ms. Granger’s parents! Am I to assume then, that my punishment on you was far too mild since you apparently did not learn anything from it?" Snape said slowly.

Draco’s gaze hit the floor. "They provoked me."

"Poor little Draco, can’t take on Potter’s friends without breaking the rules again," Snape’s voice came softly.

"Shut Up! You don’t know what it’s like! I can’t wait till I’m a Death Eater and Weasley and the Mudbloods all cower in front of me!" Draco yelled the words at Snape and turned away but Snape’s hand lashed out and grabbed Draco’s arm roughly yanking him back.

"So you want to follow in daddy’s footsteps?" Snape growled. "You think being a Death Eater will make you all powerful and everyone will cower at your feet? Apparently Lucius never gave you a true account of the life of a Death Eater. First of all the dark mark is burned, scorched into your skin. It hurts like hell. Then no matter where you are and what you are doing a blinding pain will hit you and you will feel the fire of the brand all over again. You will immediately apparate to the dark lord’s side where if the mood strikes him he will put the Cruciatus curse on you. Have you ever felt the Cruciatus curse?"

Draco slowly nodded and whispered, "once, that time when…."

"Ah yes the time when you ran away and ended up here. Did you enjoy it?" he asked sarcastically.

Draco’s eyes flashed ice as he gave Snape a seething look.

"I thought not. But what Lucius did to you is only a small taste of what the Cruciatus curse feels like from someone with the Dark Lord’s powers. You will feel like you are DYING. Molecule by molecule will catch fire and burn making you writhe and scream from the agonizing and unbearable pain. As a death eater your loyalty is demanded by the Dark Lord, you will be his SLAVE, you will not be allowed any thoughts or ideas of your own, the power lies with the Dark Lord and your sole existence is to please him." Snape released the tight grip he had on Draco’s arm. He then added softly, "is that the life you want?"

Draco swallowed hard, refusing to look at Snape; he had turned quite pale.

"Do you want to turn into your father? Incapable of feeling anything other than hatred? Is your idea of power torturing those who are weaker than you, making them fearful of you, BEATING THEM BLOODY so they will obey you?" Snape spoke the last words close to Draco’s ear. Draco visibly trembled.

Snape’s hand came out and lifted Draco’s chin so he could look him in the eye. Draco flinched slightly, the silver eyes welling up. "Because that’s not the life I would want for you. I want you to experience happiness and love. To feel safe." He hesitated. "But apparently that isn’t what you want. You want to be just like your father?" he asked gently.

Draco bit his lip, and with a soft sob he slowly shook his head. He then did something that shocked Snape to the core. He hurled himself at Snape, his arms wrapping tightly around his neck as heart-wrenching sobs shook his lithe form. Snape swallowed heavily, his heart aching for the blond boy who clung to him like he was the sole lifeline in a turbulent stormy ocean. He breathed a sigh of relief. There was hope for Draco; he hadn’t lost him to the Dark Lord yet. His one hand came up and gently patted Draco’s back while the other rested on the back of his head. He said softly, "shhhh it’s ok, Draco, I promise you can trust me, I’ll help you."

Snape froze as he looked up. Standing there in the room in front of them was Potter. His eyes wide with shock. He looked fearful when he realized he had been spotted. Snape’s hand came up indicating for him to get out and a dark scowl crossed his face. Potter nodded wordlessly, casting one more glance at Draco.

What in the world was Potter doing in his office, it wasn’t 2:00pm yet. Did he get the time wrong? Of all people to see Draco like this. He hoped that Potter would keep his mouth shut. The look in Potter’s eyes when his gaze had rested on Draco just before he left was encouraging, Snape was sure he had actually detected sympathy.

Harry leant against the door outside of Snape’s office, shivering slightly. Snape would be so furious at him for entering his office uninvited. He had just assumed that Snape was still in the luncheon hall when he decided to sneak into his office to where he knew Snape had stored the Dreamless Sleep potion. The door had been ajar and he had just walked in and over to the shelf when he suddenly heard Snape’s voice softly saying something about torture and beating someone bloody. He grabbed the potion and hid it in his robe then turned. He froze when he spotted them, unable to move. Then more surprisingly Snape’s voice actually sounded gentle and Malfoy had thrown himself at Snape and started crying his eyes out. Harry shook his head in disbelief, sneering, malicious Malfoy crying on Snape’s shoulder? What could have happened to him? He wondered if maybe Lucius had been killed while at Azkaban. He must have just found out then because he seemed rather controlled when he had apologized. The apology flashed through his mind, he couldn’t be that upset because he had been made to apologize? Harry shook his head something major must have happened. Seeing Malfoy like that, so desperate, so hurt had actually made him feel sorry for him. He uncorked the potion and quickly took a drink from it. He fervently hoped it would help because he knew Snape wouldn’t be gentle with him.

Draco eventually loosened his grip on Snape. He pulled away sniffing and fervently wiping his face. Snape’s hand had come up to the side of his head. "Are you ok?" he softly asked.

Draco nodded keeping his hand up to his face. He was still shaking and tears kept streaking down his face. He felt Snape’s hand at his elbow directing him over to an old beat up sofa. "Sit, before you fall down."

Draco did as he was told while wiping away tears. But he looked up at Snape with red rimmed eyes. "Sorry," he said hoarsely.

"For what?" Snape sat down on the sofa near him.

Draco was too embarrassed to explain. Snape smiled wryly, "It’s ok, I’m glad because that means I haven’t lost you to the Dark Lord."

"But you’re a Death Eater." Draco stated.

"Exactly, I know better than you what that is like and I don’t wish this cursed existence on you."

"My father wanted me to become a Death Eater," Draco admitted.

"Exactly, that should tell you something."

Draco nodded miserably.

"Draco, I have to teach Potter remedial potions again, since he still hasn’t mastered it. I think it would be a good idea if you went to the kitchens and got a bite to eat since I didn’t see you at breakfast and you obviously didn’t eat at lunch. I’m assuming you’d rather not be here when Potter comes."

Draco looked alarmed and shot off the sofa. He headed to the door pausing and Snape heard a soft, "Thanks."

For the first time in a long time Draco’s heart felt a little lighter. He hurried out of the dark hallway; never noticing Harry was on the other wall beside Snape’s door.

The door to Snape’s office slammed open. "Potter! Get in here!"

His heart thumped painfully. His eyes wide with fear and guilt, Harry walked in looking up into the furious scowling face of Professor Snape.