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"Ah, yes, sir? May I help you?" Senior Dursley asked, with ill-concealed suspicion lacing his words.

Severus smirked.

'This should be very entertaining!'

Pushing himself through the door, Severus began what was going to be a very interesting night.

~~~

"Yes, sir, I am here on behalf of one Harry James Potter. He was brought into custody roughly two days ago. Just to be sure, you are Mr. Potter's guardian, a Mr. Vernon Dursley, are you not?" Severus said importantly.

Vernon visibly paled at the mention of 'custody' and the title 'guardian.'

Struggling to collect himself Vernon spoke in a clear, but obviously strained tone, "Yes, that is correct," pushing his own defense he added quickly, "but he ran away about three days ago. He'd been caught by his Aunt, my wife, trying to hurt our son Dudley, and I punished him. Nothing but a few chores, of course, but more productive than anything that boy has ever had to do."

He finished with a hint of smugness, which only infuriated Severus more.

"So, he ran away after an apparent, ah, punishment, hm?" Severus paused for effect.

The Dursley's, no doubt, believed Severus to be a poleese man, but in all truth he was merely making a long list of different types of torture, the list getting more and more threatening with each new admission by the large man before him.

After a pregnant pause Severus finally spoke, "Well, Mr. Dursley, Mr. Potter, it seems, has grown fond of lying, as well as being lazy."

"Lying? What in God's gre-"

Severus cut him off with a loud, disbelieving snort. The Dursleys were entirely to sure of themselves.

"Mr. Dursley, I would not be seeking God in this instance, as it seems He will not be able to help you in this case."

Vernon was getting paler, but not quite the deathly pallor Severus was aiming for, so he continued.

"You will need to commit to extensive questioning to disprove your nephew's allegations-"

"Al-Allegations?" Vernon spluttered.

Clearly annoyed Severus continued through the man's shocked tones.

"Yes, allegations. Will you admit, up front, please that you intend to tell the truth about the questions about to be put forth?"

Vernon hastily complied and Severus mentally grinned. The idiotic man had just sworn, in the wizarding world, anyway, that he would not lie.

Severus knew the man would lie at every angle, thus putting him closer to being in a courtroom than he knew!

Severus felt like the cat who had gotten the cream while it was still cool.

He politely asked if Petunia would fetch tea while he went over a few more items with her husband.

When Petunia arrived back with tea things Vernon stood abruptly and ushered his wife back into the kitchen, claiming that she had forgotten biscuits.

'Stupid imbecile!' Severus thought.

He quickly poured a healthy dose of Veritaserum into the Dursley's cups and calmly waited until their return.

~~~

Once in the kitchen Vernon rounded on his wife.

"Petunia, dear, you mustn't say a word about anything, do you hear? You must let me do all of the talking. We must be careful around this man. I don't like the looks of him."

"But, Vernon! What if that-that brat said something we cannot-"

"NO! Do not say anything, under any circumstances!" Vernon said waspishly.

Petunia nodded in agreement and, grabbing the box of biscuits, followed her husband back out into the lounge, as though the conversation had never taken place.

Petunia offered the biscuits, and Severus, playing the dutiful house-guest, accepted a biscuit and sipped his tea idly, while waiting for the effects of the truth serum to begin working.

After Petunia had poured each a second cup of tea Severus pretended to be mulling about over his tea, before firing off questions.

'Time to go in for the kill' Severus smirked.

"So, Mr. Dursley, again, just for the record, exactly what types of punishment did you and your wife infl...instill on young Mr. Potter?"

The large man's tongue seemed to have a mind of it's own, and before he knew it he found himself answering.

"We tried just using verbal abuse, you know. But, when that didn't work we had to start using much more pursuasive techniques. Rotten apple, that boy! Just like his good-for-nothing father!"

Vernon seemed to be a little shocked that he had admitted that much, but it was how he felt, so he didn't concern himself too much over it.

Trying his best to remember that Dursley was speaking of James Potter, rather than himself, he continued in the interrogation.

"Exactly which types of methods did you try, Mr. Dursley? I know of so many, you know."

"Yes, I probably should've called you people. He was completely out of control, I tell you! We tried spankings, and then moved on to using a belt when he got a little older. But, that didn't work after long, either. That is when I started using my Smeltings cane! Worked for a while, too, but not quite as effective as I wanted. I started punching him and-"

Vernon's eyes widened and his face drained of all color. But, his mouth kept talking for him.

"Punched him wherever I could reach; anything to get my frustrations out. He's such a freak! Always doing strange things. Says he didn't know how things happened. But, I knew better!"

"And, how long have you been 'punishing' your nephew?" Severus bit out.

"Well, since he was around three, I suppose. Made him start cooking the meals when he was around five."

Petunia had dead fainted and Severus, although having more questions to ask, decided he'd had enough.

He stood up and took out his wand. When he pointed it at Vernon the beefy man yelped.

"YOU! You're one of those freaks!"

But Severus wasn't listening. He petrified Vernon and took a phial out of one of his many pockets.

He leaned down over the man and said, "Dursley, you should always be suspicious of who you let into your house. One day, it may not be a nice man, such as myself."

And with that, he poured the royal blue liquid down the man's throat and un-petrified him. He then obliviated both Dursleys and made his way out of the house, a smile playing across his face.

The Dursleys were about to experience one very unpleasant hour of pain.