Aug.15, 8:30 pm

Um, well. That could have gone better.

---

Well. That could have gone better, Severus thought.

Lupin stared at the door Harry had escaped through, his face almost a caricature of anguish, and Severus suppressed the urge to go and catch Harry and make him come back and apologize. First of all, there would be time for that later if warranted, and second, he had to admit he was glad Harry felt comfortable enough to lash out like that against someone besides himself.

Not that the boy didn't have cause, either.

Oh, he'd talked to Dumbledore, of course, and heard the excuses for why no one had gone to check on Harry after he'd gone back to the Muggles. The Dementors and the Death Eaters had been attacking with more frequency and temerity, even assaulting Muggles towns in broad daylight. The Ministry and the Order had had their hands full. But if what Harry said was true - and he had no reason to think the boy was lying - then Moody and Lupin at least had promised to keep a tight watch on him, and to make sure he contacted them every three days.

Severus wasn't sure how long the Muggles had been gone before he and the other Death Eaters had realized the wards were down and then gone to collect Harry. But he'd abducted Harry a good three weeks after the end of term. A damn sight longer than three days, indeed.

As he watched Lupin trying to collect himself, Severus tried to do so as well. Harry, he realized, had every right to be furious, and Severus was more than willing to vent some of that fury on the boy's behalf.

"Who was there?" Severus asked him. His voice was extra-deadly soft, and he was gratified to see Lupin flinch before looking over at him, frowning in confusion. "At King's Cross," Severus clarified. "Who made a scene with the Dursleys?"

"Ah, well Moody, I think, made the deepest impression. But I was there, and Tonks, as well as Molly and Arthur." Lupin sighed. "We didn't think it would go worse for him, Severus. We were honestly trying to help. He'd just lost S-Sirius, and I knew it would be hard for him enough this summer without--"

Lupin cut himself off and Snape bared his teeth in a snarl. "You already knew what they were doing to him?"

"Well, not completely. He's never really said."

Severus glared at the wolf. When given enough prompting, and enough time, Harry had said plenty about the care he'd had at the hands of his relatives. Not that he'd ever been given that time or attention.

"But," Lupin continued, "when we, that is, the Advance Guard, went to get him last summer, he was locked in his room. The Muggles were gone, then, too. He seemed . . . startled to see us, but I thought he was just on edge because of what happened in the graveyard and to Cedric."

"The locks were on the outside of his door," Severus said in his quiet voice.

"Yes, how did--"

"And yet you found little suspicious about that circumstance?"

"I wasn't really thinking about it at the time."

"No. I imagine not." Severus closed his eyes and took a long breath. He had also not thought much about that fact, not until later. But then, he'd been busy trying to save the boy from Bellatrix at the time.

"Later, though, when I considered it further, I talked about it with Sirius. He was furious, of course, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He wanted Harry to stay with him, if he was expelled for underage use of magic, and I think Harry would have. We spent Christmas there, obviously, and Sirius was trying to get Dumbledore to agree to let Harry stay with him during the whole summer, when he . . ." Lupin sighed and spread his hands. "Regardless, we were only trying to help. It was obvious Harry wasn't happy there, and we didn't want the Muggles to take advantage of his grief."

"And yet, none of you checked on him."

Lupin's face went into his hands. "No," the word was muffled. "You don't know how sorry I am."

"I don't care how sorry you are." Severus paused, reined in his temper again. "The only one you need to apologize to is Harry."

"I will, when he gives me a chance. Will you talk to him?"

"So you don't have to face him? I think not."

Lupin nodded wearily. They were quiet for a long time before he said, "He looks better than he did a week ago. Less pale and shaky, at least. And you both seem to be getting along."

Severus sneered. "If that's the best you can do at oblique snooping into the guardianship issue, then frankly I worry at your skills in subterfuge in your dealings with the werewolves."

"My apologies, Severus, for attempting to be circumspect with you." Lupin sought out his gaze at last. "So, then. How did you manage it with Harry? It's obvious he respects you." He left off the "now" but they both heard it anyway.

"It's amazing what a measure of honesty and consistency can do," Severus said dryly.

"Is that all?"

"All?" Severus was stunned.

"Well . . ."

Taking a moment to clear his mind before he attacked a werewolf in his own office, Severus folded his hands together to keep them from forming fists. And he left his wand in his sleeve, to prevent any . . . accidents. "You would realize," he said in the softest tone he'd ever used, "if you spent any time at all with the boy, that consistency and honesty are two things explicitly lacking from his dealings with any figures of authority. He has been lied to and given widely varying expectations for the entirety of his life. For the last two weeks, I have laid down very clear rules for him, which he has, for the most part, followed. There have been consequences when he has not, ones that were laid out for him as well. It is this that he responds to, and this which I offer him as his guardian."

Lupin, eyes wide, leant forward in his seat, his amber gaze piercing. "Is that all you care for him?"

"What kind of idiocy do you want me to spout?" Severus snapped. "I am not maudlin enough for declarations of love, as well you know."

"I didn't ask if you loved him, just if you cared about him."

"Of course! He's the Chosen One, isn't he?" His other feelings were well hidden as a matter of course. Those whose lives and well-being mattered little could not be used against you by your enemies.

"Ah. So, you're just keeping Dumbledore's Weapon safe and biddable."

"If you choose to think so."

"Right. So, you'll make him your ward for a year, but what has Harry ever wanted more than a family? Surely you know that. Will you give him a family, Severus, and make him your son?"

Severus felt his face drain of blood and he stood so fast his chair tipped over. "You dare . . . You impertinent . . ." He couldn't think of anything horrible enough to say, and that in itself shocked him into movement. He had a handful of the wolf's robes before he knew what he was doing. His face was so close to Lupin's he could feel his own harsh breaths ricochet off the other man's skin. "Don't you play the stalwart card with me," he spat. "We both know how carelessly you abandoned him after his parents died. If you ever want to have a place in his life, I suggest you swallow that damnable Marauder pride and prepare to grovel on your belly for his forgiveness."

He thrust Lupin away from him and stalked from the office to take a walk around the grounds and clear his head. Harry did not need to see him in such a state.

---

More than an hour later, when he was sufficiently in control of himself, Severus returned to his quarters. He expected to find Harry sulking in his room and was pleasantly surprised to find the boy on the couch, reading the book on defensive spells he'd borrowed. Harry looked up when he came in, and immediately started chewing on his lower lip.

"Have you eaten?"

Harry looked puzzled by the question, but then said, "Not since lunch, sir. How much trouble am I in?"

Ah, the reason for the confusion. He'd expected the dressing down first thing. "First you will have dinner, then we discuss your behavior."

Looking marginally relieved, Harry said, "I could make something . . ."

"Just call the House-elves. It's already late."

"Yes, sir. Anything for you?"

Severus was about to shake his head, then changed his mind. "Toast would not go amiss. And some fruit, perhaps."

In a few minutes, several platters were arranged on the dining table, one each of toast, fruit and small sweet cakes. Severus lifted his eyebrows at the third platter, and Harry gave him an almost cheeky smile. "Well, I don't know what your rule will be about sweets, so I figured I'd get ‘em all in before you could forbid them."

"And you don't think I could forbid them now?" Severus managed to say this in a dry enough tone he thought Harry might not catch the humor.

Alas, the Brat's smile only widened. "I think if you were gon . . . going to, I mean, you would have already. But you might have different rules once you're my guardian."

That he was right only made Severus' tone drier. "Indeed. However, I do not believe sweets are an appropriate main course for dinner. And one of our rules does explicitly state you will eat consistently and appropriately, does it not?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said, his face falling slightly. "But I'll have fruit, too. First, I mean."

"See that you do."

They were quiet over the meal, and Harry had both sliced apples and orange sections as well as toast before he selected one of the small cakes, picking at the icing along the edge. "Do you like sweets, sir?" he asked when he had removed all the icing and was beginning to maul the cake's interior.

"Why?"

"Well, I can't remember ever seeing you eat any cakes or biscuits or anything, so I was wondering."

Severus pursed his lips, and wiped the last of the toast crumbs from his fingers with a napkin. "No, I do not generally care for sweets," he said at length, "to the Headmaster's utter frustration." He suppressed a smile as the boy laughed. "Although, there is one confection I admit enjoying."

"What?"

"Strawberry ice cream."

"Really?"

"Do you suggest I am prevaricating?"

"Uh, no. I just . . ." Harry grinned. "Well, you know, ice cream. Oh, hey! We should go to Florean Fortescue's when we go get my books for the new term."

Severus gave an exaggerated sigh. "Perhaps," he allowed.

"When can we get my books? And wand?"

"Soon. Perhaps on the weekend."

"That's what, two days?"

Severus inclined his head, and noted that Harry was done eating. If left to pick at the food for a while longer, he would, but he wouldn't actually consume any more. "Get this cleared away," he told the boy now. "And then join me in the sitting room."

Harry nodded with a "Yes, sir," but it was almost fifteen minutes before he reappeared and sank onto the settee with a sigh.

"What took so long?"

With a look of hurt confusion, the boy said, "Was it long? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dawdle."

"How long does it take to summon a House-elf?" His tone was a bit sharp, but his patience had worn quite thin today.

"I . . . er . . . House elf?"

Sudden comprehension made Severus bite back a curse aimed at himself. "You cleaned up the dishes yourself, then?"

Harry nodded, that lower lip firmly in his teeth and worry in his eyes. "Yes, sir."

"I extend my apologies, Harry. I had not meant for you to clean up the mess on your own, but I can see how my words might have been misinterpreted." He inclined his head slightly. "And no, it wasn't long, for the work you did."

"Thank you, sir." The expression of relief on Harry's face made Severus feel even worse, but he knew they had more unpleasantness to get through before they settled down for the night.

"I assume you are expecting me to berate you for what you said to Professor Lupin this evening," he said, jumping right in.

Harry tensed. "Er . . . yes, sir."

"Good. I live to foil your expectations." He savored the confusion on the boy's face for a moment before continuing, "The words themselves I find no fault with. The manner of their delivery, however, left much to be desired."

"I'm sorry, sir. I know I shouldn't have yelled."

"No, you shouldn't have yelled. Respect for your elders, and especially for those with special authority, such as professors, should be employed at all times." He allowed a small twitch of his lips, and said, "Just remember, when you use a respectful tone and form of address, the content of your invective is more often heeded."

Harry's brow was still furrowed as he went over what had just been said, and Severus could almost see when the light went on in his mind. "I . . . okay. I understand."

"I'm sure you do." He waited for Harry to look at him before saying, "I imagine Lupin will be around in the next day or two, to offer you his own apology."

"Really? Why?"

Managing - just - not to roll his eyes, he said, "Even though your delivery lacked a certain level of courtesy, the message was received nonetheless. Lupin wishes to unburden his guilt."

Harry opened his mouth several times and then closed it without saying anything. Just as well, as Severus was not sure he would be able to defend the wolf more than he had already tonight.

"But do not think that your lack of respect towards the wolf is beneath my notice," Severus reminded him and watched appreciatively as the boy's expression turned wary. "I have allowed some leeway with regard to your outbursts here, in deference to your particular circumstances, that I will not tolerate outside of these rooms. I trust you understand my meaning?"

Ears and neck reddening, Harry murmured, "Yes, sir."

"Very well." Severus glanced at the clock. "Early to bed then, tonight. Use the extra hour to clear your mind, using the breathing technique from the book. Not the stone. Any questions, on that or other topics?"

"No, sir." Harry rose and headed to his room, and paused at the door. "Good night," he offered.

"Good night, Harry," Severus replied, then considered again the debacle from earlier in the day and the likelihood of the boy having nightmares as a result. He quickly Accio'd a potion from his room which he handed to Harry. He knew Harry recognized it; he'd taken it often enough. "I suggest you take this when you're ready to go to sleep."

Some residual tension drained from Harry's body, and he smiled a little. "Thank you, sir."

Severus waved a hand at him and closed his eyes as the boy quietly shut his door. Only two weeks before classes started up. The true test would be the trip to Diagon Alley. If Harry managed that without having a panic attack or flashback, Severus would be more inclined to think he would enter classes on time. As it stood now, though . . . he just didn't know.