Phoenixes I: Of Phoenixes by Anterastilis
Summary: Severitus challenge response. On Harry's 15th birthday, a surprising truth is revealed. Now he and Snape must deal with its consequences.
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape > Severitus Challenge Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Drama
Media Type: None
Tags: None
Takes Place: 5th summer
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 15 Completed: No Word count: 28483 Read: 58061 Published: 03 Sep 2007 Updated: 29 Sep 2007
Harry and Snape Talk to Remus by Anterastilis

Harry ran blindly from his father's classroom. He didn't even notice that he had run into Remus until Remus had called for him. "What happened, Harry?" Remus asked after catching up to the Gryffindor.

Harry sighed as he looked at Remus. "Not here," he replied.

Remus nodded and led Harry up through the maze of corridors and staircases that was the route from the dungeons up to the corridor that the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was located in. Once in the classroom, he gently propelled Harry through the door leading into his office when Harry simply stood there, looking rather morose.

In a few minutes, Remus had some water boiling for tea. He took a spoonful of some herbs from an unmarked jar that Harry hadn't seen before. After allowing the tea to steep for several minutes, he strained the liquid into two cups and placed one before Harry before sitting down into his own chair.

Harry looked quizzically at Remus. "It's good," Remus replied. "It's a special blend, designed to help you relax, supposed to help you sleep better, too," he added rather pointedly.

Harry nodded and took a sip. It was good. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

Remus saw this and put down his own cup before saying, "Well, now, why don't you tell me what happened between you and Severus?"

"He gave me a detention this morning -- I was just tired and hadn't been paying proper attention to my potion -- and I decided that I'd had enough. As you can see, I just went without renewing my charm. We had the expected confrontation, that's all." Harry's voice was tired, and he sounded as though he very much just wanted to get away from everything.

Remus could see that Harry was clearly putting on a brave face despite how upset he'd been in the hallways earlier. His tone wasn't so different from Severus' when he was evading a question -- controlled, calm -- he suppressed a smile at that. "I see," he replied at last, and he nodded wisely as he did.

Harry winced. Remus obviously was entirely too good at reading between the lines for his own good. He took another sip of his tea in an attempt to hide his reaction, but Remus had already caught it.

"So there is more," he added knowingly. "What happened, Harry?"

Harry saw only concern and care in Remus' eyes. In that moment it struck him that Remus cared for him because he was Harry. Not because he was the Boy Who Lived, not because he had thought that Harry was James Potter's son, only that he was Harry. Remus didn't even care that Harry had turned out to be son of the man who had forced him out of Hogwarts two years previous and was consistently rude to him for his being a werewolf.

Harry sighed; this was a fairly shocking conclusion for him. All of his life, he had endured the hatred of his blood relatives. Then he had come to Hogwarts, where the acceptance of his peers depended entirely on whether they were looking for a hero or a scapegoat that week. There were still times he wondered about his friendship with Ron -- how much of it was Ron accepting him for him, but then he realised that if Ron was just looking for friendship with the Boy Who Lived, then he'd probably not stick around after their life-threatening adventures. He wasn't even sure of his teachers -- which of them liked Harry, and which of them liked the Boy Who Lived? He couldn't get the memory of Flitwick falling off of his stack of books that first day those years ago. On the other hand though, Flitwick seemed to like pretty much everyone except Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

For once in his life, Harry decided to take a chance and give an adult a full answer. He felt that Remus deserved it. So he took a deep breath and opened his mouth and began to tell Remus everything that had happened -- from the time Snape had opened the door to the time Harry had ran out. He talked, and as he did he found it strangely relieving. It felt good to let Remus know how he felt. When he was finished, he slumped into his chair and drank, almost greedily, his tea.

Remus, too, sat back and sipped from his tea as he considered what Harry had told him. It seemed to him that he really needed to hear what had happened from Severus -- perhaps the man would speak to him for once. Remus was one of the few who knew that Severus wasn't all that bad. Two months after he had left Hogwarts, he began to receive the Wolfsbane again. The note accompanying the first one had simply said that they wouldn't want a repeat of that last night. Yes, Remus would indeed be going down to see Severus that night, but for now he had Harry to take care of.

"Harry," he began as he carefully returned his teacup to its saucer, "you know what Professor Snape is, what he does. And, to be perfectly honest, I do understand his point. These are dangerous times we live in, and not only is it dangerous for Professor Snape to acknowledge you as his son, but it's dangerous for you, as well." He stopped at that when Harry began to look at him skeptically.

"How can it be dangerous for me?" Harry asked, genuinely confused. "I didn't really think it was possible for things to get even more dangerous!"

Remus smiled as he thought of how to answer. Finally, he said, "During the school year, you're relatively safe at Hogwarts, as long as you avoid death defying stunts on your broom, that is. But should this information come out, then there is a very real possibility that you would be facing trouble from the general population here at school. You know, I'm sure, that there are children here of Death Eaters? If they see this as the reason for Snape's betrayal, then, well..." Remus' voice trailed off as he allowed Harry to come to the conclusion himself.

Harry considered Remus' words. He still thought that perhaps everyone was overestimating the danger to himself, but he knew full well the danger that his father would be in. At long last he nodded. "Fine," he said. "If I have to wait, I'll wait."

Remus looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Harry. I know that there are so many uncertainties about the coming years. I know you wish that you could have this now, but I think that if you wait, it will be worth it."

Harry nodded. He put down his tea cup and stood. "Thanks for the tea, Professor," he said quietly, "but I think I need to go now."

Remus gave him a sad smile and nodded understandingly. "You're welcome anytime, Harry," he replied. Then he walked Harry out of his office, where they said good night.

After Remus saw Harry off, he walked down to the dungeons. Where he found Snape much as he was when Harry had left him an hour or so ago. "Severus?" he said softly as he approached the Potions Master's desk. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Snape looked up at his fellow professor. "No. No, I don't think I am," he replied in a distant voice.

Snape's answer surprised Remus. Not only had he been expecting to be told off, and harshly too, but he'd never ever thought that Snape would give him such an honest reply. Truth be told, Remus wasn't the only one surprised by Snape's answer. Snape was rather surprised as well. But now that it was done, he felt a strange sort of relief come over him at having told someone the truth. So he did a second unexpected thing, he waved Remus towards a seat and told him to sit down. Remus sat.

"What can I do, Severus?" Remus asked after a few moments.

Instead of answering the question though, Snape began to tell Remus what had happened that night. He told Remus about Harry's wishes; he told Remus about Harry's disappointment; he told Remus about the bitterness in Harry's voice. What he didn't tell Remus about were his own reactions. At this point, bringing himself up would simply be too much.

Remus nodded slowly as he listened to what Snape was telling him. He realised that he was at a very important time in both Harry's and Snape's lives. This was the moment that could very well determine whether or not those two ever had a hope of accepting one another. He sighed. "Severus, listen to me. I know, probably better than Harry, why Harry feels the way he does," he finally replied.

Snape looked up at Remus and frowned. "How can you say that?" he asked, not quite harshly.

Remus shrugged. "Easily enough," he replied. "You see, Harry is too close to it all. He is very confused at the moment because he knows what he feels, but he doesn't know why."

"So tell me, werewolf," Snape snapped, beginning to become impatient.

Remus gave Snape a small smile and explained. "Harry has never known the love of a family. You know this; you saw it in his memories. He loves the Weasleys dearly, and he knows they love him in return, yes, but to him, it's simply not the same as knowing the love of your own blood relatives.

"When he discovered that he was your son, he wasn't sure what to think. On the one hand, here he had another living relative, on the other hand, however, this relative, his father nonetheless, gave every appearance of hating him -- just as his aunt and uncle, only this was his father, and so it was different. The longing he felt for his own family intensified. But he knew he had to shove it aside because of the bad feelings between you two.

"You see, Severus? Do you see why Harry feels the way he does? He wants desperately to be accepted by you, and he wants desperately to accept you. But he doesn't understand why this is, though I wouldn't be surprised if Miss Granger has told him, he doesn't comprehend the emotions." Remus stopped and waited. He hoped that what he had said would be enough, he hoped he had said the right thing.

Snape, meanwhile, had placed his head back in his hands. Remus' explanation made a great deal of sense, but he still didn't quite know how to proceed.

Remus knew, though, that he had to tell Snape of what he had spoken to Harry. "He's wiling to let things go," he said after a while.

Snape suddenly looked up and frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked harshly.

"Merely that I explained to him the danger that this information puts the both of you in," Remus explained. "He took it all well enough, but..." his voice trailed off, and he shook his head.

Snape's eyes narrowed, and he looked at Remus suspiciously. "What?" he demanded.

Remus sighed and looked away from Snape's intense gaze. "Harry is afraid," he said. "The war is intensifying, and I think he has a suspicion that he won't live to see the end of it, and what's more, he knows that your life could be forfeit at any day. He is, even if he doesn't quite realize it yet, angry at the fact that he is being denied a chance at a family, and he is afraid that if he waits until the end of the war, he won't ever get it."

Snape didn't really have anything to say to that. What could he say? The information he gave to Dumbledore was too important to let go, and there was no one to take his place, nor would he ask anyone to do so. This was his penance; this was his task, and no one else's. He had to be a spy.

Remus left then, without saying a word, and Snape barely noticed.

To be continued...


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