February 4th 1992

Lily, what have you done?

Severus held the shivering boy tightly in his arms, gripping him so hard that Severus knew he must have been hurting him. Yet, Harry didn’t complain. He merely clenched his small thin fingers in Severus’ robes, holding on, wiping his tears on Severus just as his mother had once done many dark nights a long time ago.

Why did I let you talk me into this? I was so sure it didn’t work… I’m not ready for this! I could never be ready for this!

I thought I was free when Albus took the boy to Petunia. I thought my time in prison was good way to forget about my promise that no longer mattered. Yet, it’s my fault he was mistreated. It’s my fault that horrible oaf hurt him. Harry is… Harry is… Lily, why? Why?!

But Lily could never hear him. He closed his eyes and he prodded his own mind, calling up a random image of the only woman he had ever bothered to love, and the only who had not been frightened by him.

***

June 1981

“Harry, wave to daddy!”

“Lily, why do you tell him to do that? The potion didn’t work.” He tried to ignore the chubby arms reaching for him but when he saw the pouting lip and childish want in green eyes, he took the child. He found he could not scowl at him as he pulled his hair. Realizing he should just let him do as he wished, he looked at Lily and said, “He looks like Potter, Kitten.”

Harry giggled – he had never seen a child so happy. He did seem to have Lily’s temperament, thank Merlin.

“Severus that’s not really what–”

“Dada!”

Both adults stared at him in shock before Lily laughed, “See, Sev, Harry knows who loves him.” She smiled at him again – that same old crafty smile that made him believe she really was a Slytherin at heart.

***

February 4th 1992

You knew it was going to work… You knew all along. How…?

Severus looked down at the child in his arms, so completely his mother, and knowing the truth. Lily had foreseen it all. Somehow, she had known. Somehow, she had to of known that it would work.

How could I possibly–

Severus’ thoughts came to an abrupt stop as Harry moaned. Severus noticed the boy’s fingers twitching involuntarily and his teeth chattering. He leaned back the boy to see that Harry’s eyes had rolled into the back of his head. Cursing quietly, Severus eased the boy back onto the bed and yelled for Pomfrey.

The Mediwitch looked scandalized as she came bursting through the curtains but immediately set to work once she saw Harry’s state. She barked orders at Severus to administer the boy’s potions in the doses she ordered whilst her wand waved intricately over Harry’s body. Every color of light entered Harry’s body at one point before a transparent image of a rusty cylinder appeared over the child’s chest.

“His core is still burning itself.” She said wearily.

“Has he exhibited magic since the episode, Poppy?”

“Of course not, Severus, what kind of Healer do you think I am?!”

He could tell by the tone of voice that she was panicking and unsure of what to do next. Fear clutched Severus’ heart, fear unlike any he had ever known.

Was this what Lily felt when the Dark Lord wanted to kill him? Is this what she felt before she died…?

And then something seemed to enter Severus, something that he couldn’t place. His skin tingled, his eyes burned and yet his thoughts slowed and entered a voice he dreamed of for ten long years.

“You know how to save him, Severus… I know you do. Look inside your heart. I gave him all of mine. Now you must give him all of yours.”

But it couldn’t be her.

She was dead, after all…

“Lily…” Severus whispered staring at Harry as his body began to convulse. He couldn’t register Poppy’s screaming of spells or the frightened questioning of the fourth year boy at the other end of the Infirmary. Suddenly, a flash of green came across his vision as Harry’s head twitched in his direction.

And Severus remembered a piece of parchment with words in curling script written below the list of the potion that, now, had changed everything.

“Abbas Cruorem Connecto!”

***

“That boy has You Know Who’s soul in him, Dumbledore! I swear to it!” screamed Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic during his normal weekly liaison to Hogwarts.

Albus Dumbledore was unfazed as he merely clasped his hands together, placing them against his chin and peered at Fudge benignly. Fudge’s eyes squinted in a glare, giving Dumbledore reason to allow a small sigh to cross his lips. “Harry Potter is nothing more than a normal Wizarding child, Cornelius.”

“Normal, Dumbledore?! That is term I would likely never give that boy!” he sputtered, twisting his bowler hat in his hands as he spoke. “With his past as it is, and the fact that the Sorting Hat saw how much Slytherin he had in him, the boy could never be dubbed normal!”

“Truthfully, it could be in his blood. Lily Potter was quite the clever sort.” With affection for the Dark Arts, not that Dumbledore was going to tell that to Fudge. More than once in their seven years were Severus and Lily caught reading in the Restricted Section.

He looked at Fudge, waving a vague hand at Phineas Nigellus’ portrait, who in turn snarled at the Minister. Fudge shrunk back in his chair. “Not all Slytherins are bad, Cornelius.” Dumbledore stated, ignoring Fudge’s rolling of his eyes. “Severus Snape fought on the Light side of the war.”

“He was a Death Eater, Dumbledore, or must I remind you that he was imprisoned for three years because of his crimes.”

Dumbledore’s eyes turned sad as he remembered, “No, Cornelius, you need not remind me.”

***

November 15, 1981

“I’m afraid, my boy, that the Ministry is demanding you pay for your crimes.”

Severus looked down at his hands and said quietly, “Somehow I knew it would come to this. No matter how much faith she had in me, I knew after her it would no longer matter.”

“Yes, Lily was quite the formidable one.” He chuckled and popped a lemon drop in his mouth. “What an interesting pair, you both made.”

Severus turned his hands over, peering at them as if searching for something. “Lily made me Harry’s godfather.”

Dumbledore stilled for a moment until finally he said, “The name on his birth certificate was Sirius Black.”

“Lily made a separate one and gave it to me. She didn’t trust Black or her husband as you well know, Albus.”

Dumbledore stared intensely at him, leaning forward in his chair. “My boy, why did you not tell me?”

Suddenly, Severus erupted from his chair, fists clenched, half-hiding behind his hair. “What good would it have done, Albus?! The Ministry would not let their saint be raised by a murderer – no matter if that be wish of his dead mother’s, the woman who gave her life for him!”

“My boy…”

“I’ll go to Azkaban, Albus.” He whispered. “That will be the only way to get away from her presence.”

***

February 4th 1992

Poppy and Severus stood side-by-side, chests heaving, wands outstretched. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes but he only stared at the boy. Seeing the deep regular breathing of sleep in the boy, she dropped her wand and turned to Severus. Severus stared a little longer at Harry’s sleeping form before dropping his arm as well.

“Severus, what sort of spell was that?”

He ignored her question, walking forward to tassel Harry’s bangs, allowing his fingers to linger a bit on the child’s cheek. “Poppy, get Albus.” He said quietly. “We all need to have a talk.”

She watched Severus as he pulled a chair up to Harry’s bedside and biting her lip, she left them in peace.

Lily, you knew it would work. I thought you were delusional or at least… trying to make a better life for your child. So I placated you. I made the potion with some small part of me hoping it would work. So you would be mine. I tried not to believe you but it hurt when you taught this child to call me his father. He was so innocent… So full of laughter… Oh, what have I done…? I should have fought for him… You made him my son and I didn’t even fight for him… I told you I’d be a horrible parent.

***

Hermione Granger watched as Madam Pomfrey bumbled away to her office, presumably to floo to the Headmaster’s office. The small bundle of sweets in her arms seemed mediocre compared to Harry’s pain.

If things had been different, Harry might have been her friend. She supposed the sweets meant she was still hoping. Biting her lip she walked forward from her spot, where she had been ignored. She peered through the gap in the curtain and saw her Potions professor sitting beside Harry’s bed, hands clasped and eyes closed as if praying.

“Um… sir…?”

Professor Snape startled so horribly that his hands became fisted in the sheets. He twisted his head to face her and blinked at her as if he didn’t know who she was.

She, oddly, found she’d rather have him yelling at her. Much easier to deal with. This blank stare was grating her nerves.

“Ms. Granger, why…?” He gestured vaguely at her as if he couldn’t find the words.

She blinked at him. Truly, this Professor Snape was disconcerting.

“Ms. Granger.”

“Oh!” She blurted, blushing madly, and shaking a little. “I… um… I brought a get well present for Harry.”

“Ms. Granger, if anyone was to know you are here–”

“They won’t, sir. They are too interested discussing Quidditch. Most of them think I’ve stalked off to the library.”

“And why isn’t Mr. Longbottom with you?”

The girl, as if just realizing how alone she was, scuffled her feet, peering down at them. “Professor Sprout wanted to show him something, sir.”

He peered at the girl, trying to judge her sincerity but she did seem to be exceptionally kind hearted. She would make a good friend for Harry when – if – the world changed.

Madam Pomfrey chose this moment to peek her head in. She looked at Severus then left again. Severus swished his wand over the area, a light green showing that the area had now been warded.

“Stay here, Ms. Granger until I return. If anything happens, do not hesitate to get me…” He stared down his long nose at her and she twittered a bit under his gaze.

“Yes, sir.”

***

“P… Professor…” Harry mumbled trying to awake from sleep.

Hermione was at his bedside in a moment, helping him sit up and propping his pillows behind him. He let her baby him before he sunk back into his pillows again. He looked over at Hermione, blinking at her in much the same way that Professor Snape had done before blurting, “You’ll get in trouble! Professor Snape told–!”

“No, no, Harry!” She said quickly, doing her best to calm him down, especially not knowing what exact state his health was in. “Professor Snape knows I’m here. He said it is okay.”

“Oh…” He whispered, looking down at his hands as he fisted them in his covers.

Hermione smiled sadly and placed one hand atop his. Harry went still before he smiled at her, tears in his eyes, tears Hermione didn’t understand. She squeezed his hand once then let go, replacing her hand with a brightly wrapped chocolate bar.

“I’m sorry but all I’ve got is muggle candy. I don’t know any older students to get any in Hogsmeade–”

“This is for me?”

Her brows furrowed together. “Well, yea. It’s a get well present.”

“A present….?”

Hermione giggled. “Yes, silly,” she said playfully, “and chocolate is for eating.”

“I know what chocolate’s for,” Harry mumbled, but he was smiling.

***

“It was Lily’s idea.”

“My boy, why did you never tell us?”

Severus glared darkly at Dumbledore and Pomfrey looked on in confusion. “You know very well why, Albus.”

“Severus, I–”

“Professor! Professor!”

Severus fearing for a relapse in Harry fled the room, Dumbledore and Pomfrey at his heels. He stopped when he saw the minister in front of Miss Granger. The girl had the man at wand-point and holding a bedpan as if she was going to throw it.

Fudge’s portly face was red with irritation, looking as if he was seriously considering hexing the girl. But Granger showed nothing but Gryffindor bravery.

Yes, Severus realized she would make a good companion for Harry if all this madness ended.

“That-that-that thing has placed a boy in serious medical condition at St. Mungo’s!” Fudge exploded once he saw the Headmaster strolling toward him.

“We are aware of that, Minister,” Dumbledore spoke placidly as if offering him some tea and pointedly ignoring the slight on Harry. “I thought Miss Brown walked you out to the gates, Cornelius?”

Fudge cast the Headmaster an incredulous look. “He needs to be locked away, Dumbledore!” he sputtered.

Severus strolled swiftly up between the two. “Fudge, I taught the Mediwizard the counter-curse. All the boy would need afterwards would be a Blood Replenishing Potion.”

Fudge stared after Severus shocked before exclaiming, “So you were the one to teach him Dark Magic!”

“Dark Magic seems a bit heavy for when one uses it in self-defense.” Severus growled icily, walking past Fudge to Harry’s unoccupied beside. The boy looked up at him relieved. Turning around to face them again, Severus said quietly but clearly. “But yes, I taught him that.”

Harry’s eyes widened at this pronouncement but otherwise he stayed silent.

Severus smirked as Fudge sputtered and he placed a gentle hand on Harry’s head. “He is my son, Cornelius.”

Hermione squeaked in alarm. Brown eyes were wide and her freckled face had turned pale.

Fudge dropped his bowler hat as well as his jaw. Dumbledore bent down to retrieve the hat and calmly handed it back to him only for it to slip right through the minister’s fingers again.

Harry’s reaction, Severus found, he would never want to forget. He was still wary and the Slytherin in him no doubt told him it was ruse to irk Fudge. After all, he knew Severus had not taught him that spell; he knew, in fact, that no one had. But his green eyes, his mother’s eyes, were so full of hope that you could see his heart in them.

Just like his mother.

Pushing past the pain in his heart, Severus turned his attention to Fudge, who found he could summon no words.

Reaching down he lifted Harry behind the back and knees. Harry stiffened, probably having never been held kindly since his mother’s last caress. He was too short and weighed too less. Even his bones were too small. The malnutrition must have been severe.

Damn muggles…

It was easier to blame the unattended party than himself.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, Cornelius. I wish to take my son home.”