They sat in the wild moor grass near the stone wall for a little while longer, not talking, but just holding one another. Harry leaned against Severus and the professor smoothed his hair and patted his back in silence. He wasn't sure how he felt. Severus had just promised him that one day he would be happy again, but that idea seemed so foreign. Harry felt as if at some point, he'd forgotten what it was to be happy, if he ever really had been.

But it was sort of nice...calming...to sit here with Severus and be held and patted and rocked. It was nice to rest his head on Severus' chest and listen to his heartbeat, to lean against his solid warmth and to be safely cocooned in his strong, gentle arms. It was easy to let his troubles slip away and to just enjoy the sensation of being held. Harry wished they could stay like that forever.

He could count on one hand the times he'd been embraced before. Mrs. Weasley had held him that night in the infirmary, after the Triwizard Tournament. Sirius had hugged him twice, and he, Ron, and Hermione had hugged a couple times.

"I wish..." he began before stopping abruptly. Severus had already apologised for the past. Harry didn't want to make him feel badly.

Severus' hand was cupped around the back of Harry's head. He lightly rubbed his fingers back and forth, the pads of his fingertips massaging Harry's scalp.

"You wish what?" He asked softly.

"Just that we had been friends before now," Harry mumbled.

Severus nodded. "So do I."

He sounded so sorrowful that it made Harry feel guilty. He shouldn't have said anything. He knew Severus was sorry about the way he'd treated him in the past and there was no reason to bring it up and make him feel worse.

"I'm sorry," Harry told him.

"For what?"

"For bringing up the past. It's like you said, we've started over, so..." Harry shrugged.

Severus was quiet for a moment before saying slowly, "We have started over, and I'm very grateful to you for giving me another chance, Harry. But we can talk about anything you want to talk about, including the past. You don't have to apologise for needing or wanting to discuss something. If we had talked more over the past few weeks, perhaps you wouldn't have felt that life was so hopeless you wanted to give up on it. Perhaps we both need to work on opening up more, at least with one another."

Harry wasn't exactly sure how to respond, so he only nodded without saying anything more.

Severus was silent, too, for a while before asking, "Do you want to talk about the past? Or about anything else?"

Harry considered. "Not really, I guess. It's just..." he hesitated, but the professor waited patiently until finally Harry finished. "I always felt sort of alone."

Severus sat back a little so that he was once more looking straight into Harry's eyes. "You are not alone any longer. I want you to come to me whenever you have a problem or feel upset about something, and I will do everything I can to help. All right? Will you do that?"

"I'll try," Harry mumbled.

"I do mean it, child. I want to help."

Harry studied Severus' face. For once the man didn't seem guarded and difficult to read. His expression was concerned; his dark eyes soft and filled with emotion. Harry slowly nodded. "Thank you."

But Severus shook his head. "I don't want you to thank me. I love you. Of course I want to help. Just come to me, if I don't see that something is wrong first."

He hugged Harry to him again for several long moments before clearing his throat. "It's past lunchtime. Shall we go inside and eat?"

Harry really just wanted to sit there in Severus' embrace, but they had been outside for quite a while and he supposed that they couldn't stay there forever after all, so he nodded again. They climbed to their feet and walked back to the Hall. Severus did keep an arm around his shoulders and Harry leaned against him, feeling comforted.

Norie and Zan gave them curious looks when they came in, and Harry realised that the elves must have seen them from the windows, but neither one said anything about the fact that the two wizards had just spent the better part of the morning sitting on the moor, holding one another and crying. They did both smile at Harry though. He managed to give them a tiny smile back.

He and Severus ate vegetable soup and sandwiches, and as they were finishing, the professor remarked. "I used to always walk around the gardens for a while after lunch. Would you like to come with me, Harry?"

"All right," Harry agreed.

So they went to the gardens and strolled along the brick pathways. Harry had not spent a lot of time in the gardens and as they walked, he looked around. The only other time he'd really explored here had been the second day at Prince Hall when Norie and Zan had shown him around the estate. Most of the flowers and bushes had been in bloom then and the gardens had been bright with colours and fragrant with heavy flowery scents.

Now, later in the summer, there was more greenery. Some flowers were blooming but for many of them their petals had disappeared for another year, leaving them with thick lush leaves instead. The path twisted and turned and they walked by stone benches and a goldfish pond with a burbling fountain of a winged hippogriff in the center.

When they came to the pond, Severus stopped and pulled his wand from his sleeve. He conjured a bag of bread crumbs, opened it, and handed some to Harry.

"When I was a child, I used to come here and feed the goldfish. Once in a while, I still do. Would you like to?"

Harry looked at him in surprise. It was difficult to imagine Severus, even as a child, doing anything as frivolous as tossing bread crumbs in a goldfish pond. But it was also a reminder that he certainly didn't know everything about the professor. Maybe Severus hadn't always been so practical and solemn.

He nodded. "Yes, sir."

They cast the crumbs into the pool, watching the ripples spread out in ever-widening circles and the flame-coloured fish swim to the surface to snatch at their treats with round open mouths. Harry had to smile a little at their eagerness.

"What else about the spell hurts you?" Severus broke the silence.

Harry ducked his head and Severus said quietly, "We can discuss it later if you wish, but we do need to talk about it all, Harry. If I know more about how you feel, I can help you deal with it better."

Harry sighed. He didn't really think anyone could help very much, but finally he mumbled, "I can't own any of my stuff. I can't own anything ever again."

Severus laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and said sadly, "That's one thing I can't do anything about, Harry. I'm sorry. If there were a way that I could have your possessions put back in your name, I would. But I'm afraid of what the spell would do to you if I tried. I couldn't bear to see you suffer, Harry."

He nodded. He couldn't speak past a huge lump in his throat, which was stupid really. He'd known that. He thought he'd accepted it. But it still hurt.

"I'm sorry," Severus repeated.

Harry suddenly felt very guilty. He looked over and said quickly, "It's not your fault, Severus. You've been really wonderful to me, and you've done as much as you can. I know that. I mean, you let me call them ‘my' things, and keep them with me, and use them however I want. You didn't have to do all that."

"Yes, I did." Severus responded. "Anything else would have been stealing."

After a moment, he added, "I wish I could do more, Harry."

"I know."

They finished throwing the bread crumbs to the goldfish and then walked on.

When they went back to Prince Hall, Severus suggested another chess game. They played until late afternoon and then had tea in his sitting room, sitting together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. They didn't talk about the slavery spell anymore for the rest of the day, but Harry was sure Severus would bring it up again soon. Harry wished he wouldn't. Talking about the slavery spell...even thinking about the slavery spell...hurt, and Harry just wanted to forget it, as much as he could anyway. It was always in the back of his mind, like a cat waiting to pounce.

When Norie had Disapparated with the tea tray, Severus turned to Harry. "Is there anything in particular you would like to do?"

Harry hesitated, trying to think of something, but finally he just shook his head. "No, sir."

"Would it be all right if we talked about how to handle the Ministry and all the public attention?"

Harry really just wanted to forget all that, too. The idea of having to speak with officials and reporters made him feel ill. Some of his feelings must have shown on his face because Severus reached over to take his hand.

"It's not so bad. You don't have to do anything if you truly don't want to. It's just that Albus and I think that if we arranged a couple things now, it would help the furor to die down. And we could do it on our terms."

"We don't have to though. If you don't want to face anyone, Albus and I will do our best to shield you. But you're a hero, Harry, and people are wild to see you and hear more about how you saved us. I know it's a bother, but to be fair, everyone is very grateful to you and quite concerned about your well-being. Somehow everyone knows that you were injured and were at St. Mungo's and they want to know that you're all right."

Severus' words struck another chord and Harry turned to him with a stricken face. "I bet Ron and Hermione are really upset. They were worried about me and I just ran away from them. I didn't even leave them a message."

He hadn't really thought about it before now. He'd been intent on leaving before his friends saw him and realised that something was wrong. All he'd been able to think about had been hiding the slavery spell and his own suicidal thoughts.

But now, for the first time, he thought of how Ron and Hermione must have felt. Either they'd come to St. Mungo's only to discover that he'd skipped out on them, or perhaps someone had told them of his departure before they'd made the trip to the hospital. But either way, they'd known that Harry had run off without seeing them, without telling them the truth about anything that had happened this summer. They would be hurt and angry, and they had a right to be.

They'd always been such good friends, the closest he had a family. They'd stuck by him through thick and thin. They had celebrated and commiserated with him, and had shared his burdens as much as they could. They had deserved better from him.

"Harry?" Severus' voice pulled him back to the moment. "What are you thinking?"

He swallowed hard. "Ron and Hermione. I haven't treated them right. I know you don't like them, Severus, but they're my best friends. They're the best friends anyone could have, but I haven't been a good friend to them. They're probably really angry with me."

"Because you left the hospital without seeing them? You could blame that on me, if you wish."

But Harry shook his head. "But that isn't true. You gave me a choice." He sighed. "You know, at first this summer I worried that you wouldn't let me see Ron and Hermione anymore, and now that I know you will, I may have lost them anyway because of how I've acted."

For a second, a vaguely guilty look crossed Severus' face, but almost before Harry noticed, it was gone. Severus just said, "I think you should give your friends a little more credit than that. They may be upset, but they care for you. I don't think you've lost them."

"I hope not," Harry whispered.

"Write to them and explain. I'm sure they'll understand," Severus suggested.

Harry looked away, swallowing hard. "I don't know how to explain," he said thickly.

"It will come to you," Severus reassured him. "They're your friends. They care for you. They'll understand."

Harry's vision blurred and a tear rolled down his cheek. He swiped it away, feeling angry with himself. He'd surely done enough crying for one day. But Severus didn't seem to mind. The professor pulled him close again and slipped an arm around him.

"Now, about dealing with the public," Severus continued briskly after a moment. "If you want to try to avoid it entirely, you can for as long as you're at home and at Hogwarts. But I fear that for some time at least, you might be mobbed if you try to venture off-grounds, such as on Hogsmeade weekends, for example. For the present, you would almost be a prisoner at home and school, and haven't you had enough of that?"

"It might be easier on you in the long run if we prepare a statement and read it to the press. It doesn't have to be very long, and you wouldn't have to answer any questions. It wouldn't have to be an interview session. You could just briefly describe what happened in Diagon Alley, reassure people that you have recovered, and tell everyone that while you are grateful for their concern, the best way they could show their appreciation is to respect your privacy and allow you to have a normal life. It's your decision, Harry, but I do think that plan might be best for you."

"Do I have to decide right now?" Harry asked.

Severus shook his head. "No, of course not. Think it over for a few days if you wish."

Harry nodded. "I will"

The professor's arm around him tightened. "Albus and I also discussed the Dursleys," he began.

Harry shook his head swiftly. They'd already covered so many painful topics that day. He just didn't feel up to talking about the Dursleys, too.

Severus seemed to understand. "All right," he conceded. "We'll talk about them another time."

Harry leaned against him. "Thank you, Severus."

They both retired to bed early that evening. Harry was worn out and Severus seemed tired, too. After they'd changed into pyjamas and Harry had climbed into bed, the professor came to his door and knocked.

"May I come in?"

Harry smiled. "Sure."

Severus came over and sat on the side of the bed. He carded his fingers through Harry's hair and then rested his hand lightly against his cheek.

"You do remember what you promised me this morning? About not hurting yourself again?" He asked softly.

Harry nodded.

"Because I couldn't go on without you," Severus told him. "I love you."

Once again tears came to Harry's eyes and a lump to his throat. He didn't think he could speak without breaking down. But when Severus leaned slightly closer to brush his hair back from his forehead, Harry twined his arms around him for a minute.

Severus touched his lips to Harry's forehead. "Good night. Call me if you need anything."

He left and Harry noxed the lights in his room. As he was drifting off, he realised that they had forgotten his dreamless sleep potion, but he felt so sleepy that he didn't want to bother getting up for it. He'd just hope for the best. For once, his wishes were granted and he slept peacefully throughout the night.

***

When he woke up the next morning, there was a tiny bag sitting on the night table beside his glasses. It was wrapped in golden paper and tied with a red ribbon. Harry took it and examined it for a minute, before slowly untying the ribbon and opening the bag.

There was a chocolate frog inside with a card of the German alchemist Heinrich Agrippa. Harry looked at the frog curiously, but when it sprang in the air, he caught it and popped it into his mouth. Normally he wouldn't have eaten anything without knowing who had given it to him, but he was safe from those kinds of worries at Prince Hall. No one here would hurt him. For a second, he couldn't help but smile. He was safe here. It was a nice feeling.

He showered, dressed in a red shirt and jeans, and headed down for breakfast. Severus was skimming through the Daily Prophet...the photos on the front page showed some of the destroyed buildings from Diagon Alley, but he set the newspaper aside when Harry came in.

"I believe your OWL scores have arrived. Albus sent this envelope from Hogwarts early this morning."

Harry noticed a large square envelope lying beside his plate. It was of thick official paper and his full name Harry James Potter was written in fancy script across the front. It was funny. At one time those scores would have been so important, but now...well, they didn't really mean anything now, did they? Harry sat down and slid the envelope over so it wouldn't be in the way while he was eating.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Severus asked after a moment when it became obvious that Harry wasn't.

Harry shook his head and shrugged. "Maybe later."

Severus frowned. "Don't you want to see your marks?"

"Not particularly," Harry admitted

"Harry, you're a bright boy and you've always done well in your classes. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about," Severus said.

"I'm not worried. There's just not much point to it now, is there?" Harry stirred his porridge and scooped up a spoonful.

"What do you mean, ‘there's not much point to it'?" Severus demanded. "Your scores determine which courses you'll take for the next two years. And which NEWTS you'll need to pass."

Harry sighed. "But there's not much point in that either, is there?"

Severus laid down his own spoon and studied Harry. "Well, I know that there is plenty of money for you to live off of for the rest of your life, but I would still hope you would care about learning as much as possible and doing well for the sake of being knowledgeable and skilled."

"I'll do well in my classes, Severus. Don't worry. I won't embarrass you or anything," Harry assured him.

Severus frowned again, and reached over to take Harry's hand. "You would never embarrass me, Harry. I just ask that you do your best. But I'm beginning to wonder if we're miscommunicating again. Why do you think your scores aren't important?"

Harry's face crumpled and he turned away. It was a moment before he could answer. "Because none of it matters. It's not like I can do anything after Hogwarts."

"Ah, I think I see," Severus murmured. He squeezed Harry's hand. "You think you can't have a career when you are grown, is that it?"

"Well, how can I?" Harry hated the way his voice wobbled.

Severus left his chair and came over to kneel by Harry's chair. He pulled Harry into his arms, and hugged him quickly. Then he placed both hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Harry, of course you can have a career. If you want to be an Auror or anything else, we'll try to work it out. We'll make it work out. Any money you earned would have to be in my name legally, but we could arrange all that in private. I want you to be as free as possible, to have as many choices as possible. We're going to make certain that your life is rich and full and happy. I promised you that yesterday, didn't I?"

Harry could only gaze at him in speechless wonder. The idea that he might be able to be an Auror after all...well, he hardly knew what to think.

Severus tightened his grip on Harry's shoulders for a second before releasing him and going back to his chair. "Go ahead and open that envelope, child."

Harry bit his lip, but he slit the envelope and pulled out the sheet of parchment inside. He stared at it for a few minutes in silence. He'd failed History of Magic, which he'd expected really, since he'd collapsed in the middle of that exam, but he'd done well in everything else. He'd gotten mostly Os, except for two Es, in Potions and Astronomy. He'd expected to do worse in both of those subjects actually. He'd always struggled in Potions, and the Astronomy exam had been disrupted by the attack on Hagrid and McGonagall. Harry figured that everyone's scores must have been affected by that and that allowances must have been made for extenuating circumstances.

He realised that Severus was watching him.

"Do I get to see your scores?" The professor arched an eyebrow at him.

Harry handed him the sheet and Severus studied it thoughtfully before nodding and handing it back.

""Well done, Harry. Congratulations."

"I only got an E in Potions, though," Harry said.

Severus nodded. "Yes, but I already told you that I am going to allow students into my NEWT class with an E. So that shouldn't affect your plans, if you wish to become an Auror."

Harry cast him a sideways glance. "You would do that for me?"

"Yes, because I think that rightfully you should have had an O in Potions," Severus said quietly. "From your very first class, I mistreated you. For five years, I used Potions as an excuse to hurt and humiliate you. To my shame, I must admit that there were even times when I tried to make you fail. It's a miracle you learned anything at all. And yet, in spite of the abuse you suffered at my hands, you managed to earn an E, which is a respectable mark. If I had done as I should have and treated you impartially, I do believe you would have scored an O on the exam. It would be extremely cruel and unfair if you were denied a career simply because your Potions instructor was an idiot."

"You..." Harry began.

But Severus shook his head. "I was, Harry. We both know it. But I will try to make up for it, and this is one way that I can."

"Thank you."

Severus nodded and patted his hand.

After breakfast, Severus asked, "Harry, would you be all right here alone for just a little while? I have some very important business this morning, but it shouldn't take long."

"I'll be all right," Harry told him. Severus looked a little uneasy so he added, "I won't try to kill myself or anything like that. I promised you I wouldn't."

Severus hesitated before finally saying, "I will be back soon."

After the professor had Flooed away, Harry wandered to the library. He found a book that looked interesting and went to sit in a chair by a window, but he ended up spending more time staring outside than he did reading. Thick dark clouds covered the sky this morning and eventually fat raindrops began to plop against the glass.

He felt so confused. He still missed his parents and Sirius. He still wondered if he would have been better off if he could have died and been with them. It still hurt to think that he was a slave. He wasn't happy and still didn't think he ever would be.

Yet he did love Severus and the professor loved him too. And maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't be quite as bad as he'd been thinking. Maybe if he just took one day at a time, it might be a little easier...because thinking about his whole life stretching out for years and years was still overwhelming.

Norie and Zan came into the library several times on some pretext or another, and Harry had to wonder if Severus had asked them to keep an eye on him after all, in spite of Harry's promise. But on the other hand, it might have just been the elves themselves. They were pretty quick to pick up on things and he knew they'd been concerned for him.

He didn't know how much time had passed when a knock on the door made him turn. Severus was back and Harry noted that he still looked a bit uneasy. "I have a surprise for you."

He stepped aside and Ron and Hermione came in.