Present
“If you told me that evening my detention was going to be the highlight of my night I probably would have laughed. How could a couple of hours scrubbing cauldrons be good? I was being punished for breaking into my dad’s Pensieve. The only good thing there was Dad told me he still wanted me. That was great.”
Harry licked his lips nervously. This next part of the story was so important, but it was painful. It couldn’t be skipped though, the actions of the that night set up many of the events that happened in the course of the weeks that lead up to Voldemort’s demise.
“With things between Dad and I cleared up, even if they weren’t mended I was really looking forward to talking to Sirius and Remus. I wanted them to know I was alright. I didn’t need them to worry and go off and do something stupid, like showing up at the castle to hex Dad.” Harry chuckled softly and found Remus in the crowd.
“I was more worried Sirius would do that then you Remus, honest.” Harry said lightly.
The werewolf gave him a nod in understanding. Sirius gave the pair a mocking glare at the exchange.
“Right, so after getting soaked washing cauldrons for about two hours Dad decided I’d had enough of that for the night. We moved into his quarters to work on my Occlumency lesson. I spent about ten minutes or so organizing my memories, with Dad’s help, before we started dueling. I did an okay job of keeping him out; especially out of the most painful parts of my memories. That went on for about an hour. Dad called the lesson off early to give me time to talk to Sirius, but not until we had our normal tea.” Harry explained.
“It was nice to finally be able to catch my breath and relax for those couple of minutes. My appetite was back something terrific as well. I think I ate all but two of the biscuits the house elves sent up. I could tell you Dad was less than pleased. I’m not sure if he was more upset about me binging on sweets or the fact I got all the chocolate shortbreads. Those are his favorite.” Harry looked over his shoulder and gave his father a cheeky grin. “Now, nobody get the idea you can bribe him with those or something. He’s not that cheap. Trust me, I tried. Just if you’re ever to tea with him go yourself a favor, leave him at least one or two.”
Harry’s voice lost its cheer as he continued his story. “Finally after tea and biscuits Dad let me Floo to Grimmauld Place. If I could go back and change time I would ask Dad to say no. If he had, everything might have gone very differently.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
May 1996
Harry waited until the world stopped spinning before opening his eyes. He hated Floo travel. At least when it was only his head going through he couldn’t fall out and make a fool of himself, or go out the wrong grate. He wished he could just use a telephone. There was no nauseating spinning with a phone call.
“Harry,” Remus greeted warmly after seeing the teen’s head in the fireplace.
“Hey, Remus,” Harry greeted just as warmly.
“Hold on a minute. Let me go and get Sirius. He just stepped out,” Remus said rising from the floor. Harry watched the faded, shabby trousers as they retreated and then returned with an equally grimy pair a moment later. Harry smiled at the two wizards as they sat down.
“How are you Harry?” Remus asked anxiously. “You sounded rather upset in your last letter.”
“I’m good,” Harry replied.
“Really,” Sirius asked skeptically.
“Yeah Sirius. I’m good. Me and D-the professor talked about things. I’m still in a bit of trouble, but we’re okay.” Harry explained.
“What happened exactly Harry? You sounded distressed, but you didn’t tell us what happened.” Remus asked.
Harry bit his lip nervously. “I… errr… broke into Da-Professor Snape’s Pensieve. He was busy taking care one of his students.”
“Harry James Potter!” Remus scolded as Sirius broke into a grin.
“That’s brilliant.” Sirius said with a chuckle.
Harry frowned at their reactions, his godfather’s especially. He expected to be in trouble. Why was Sirius basically congratulating him?
“He went spare when he caught me.” Harry confessed.
Sirius’ face darkened dangerously. “Did he put a hand on you?”
“No. No. He pulled me out and just sort of yelled. He tried to throw me out,” Harry assured them.
“He better not have.” Sirius whispered threateningly.
“He didn’t touch me Sirius. I promise.” Harry pledged.
Sensing the tension building Remus asked, “Is that what you wanted to talk to us about? About how Severus was treating you?”
Harry shook his head, “Not exactly. I wanted ask you about was I saw.”
Remus looked slightly puzzled. “I’m not sure we’re the best people to discuss that with surely Severus –”
“I already asked him.” Harry blurted out. “I want to know more about James and you guys were his best mates.”
“Harry, what exactly did you see in Severus’ Pensieve?” Remus asked.
“Come on Harry,” Sirius encouraged. “It could have been that bad. You’re still breathing and all.”
Harry gave his godfather an unsure look. “It was during your D.A.D.A. O.W.L. It started just before the written exam ended. James was a few seats in front of Professor Snape. The professor was really focused on his test.”
“You could say that. The git walked out of the room with as much ink on his nose as the parchment,” Sirius said snidely.
“Sirius,” Remus scolded. “Let Harry tell his story.”
Harry took a breath and explained. “Well, they called time and everybody left the Great Hall. Professor Snape headed out the Hall and wandered by the lake. You guys and Da-James sort of followed him. I’m not sure if you were meant to, but you ended up close to each other. James was mucking about with a Snitch. Then you saw Professor Snape. You guys started messing with him.”
Remus paled at the story he remembered the incident with shame.
“I didn’t say anything,” Remus muttered ashamedly.
“No, but you didn’t defend him either,” Harry snapped back.
“That’s not what I meant,” Remus defended. “I should have tried to get James and Sirius to lay off.”
“I remember this,” Sirius interjected. “The greasy git tried to hex us.”
“Don’t call him that,” Harry snapped.
“James was showing off for Lily,” Sirius continued oblivious to Harry’s objection. “Man, did he have it hard for her.”
“He was trying to impress my mum?” Harry asked dumbfounded. “No wonder she thought he was a ‘toerag’.”
“We were young,” Remus explained.
“You were my age. I would never do that to somebody!” Harry countered.
“Really,” Sirius asked in disbelief. “You wouldn’t take the mickey out of somebody to impress girl?”
‘You weren’t ‘taking the mickey’,” Harry argued. “You guys picked on him for no reason. You weren’t being funny. It was mean.”
“We had plenty of reasons. That overgrown bat was already well on his was to being a Death Eater.” Sirius snapped back. “James was just trying to put him in his place. Besides he deserved what he got for calling Lily what he did. Did you see that part?” Sirius demanded.
“Yeah, I did. He never would have called Mum that if you hadn’t ganged up on him,” Harry protested.
“Bollocks,” Sirius said. “It was only a matter of time before he did. He already called everybody else of her birth that name.”
“Sirius,” Remus said softly, “We didn’t help matters.”
“You’re taking Snivellus’ side, Mooney?” Sirius asked in complete disbelief.
“Harry is right. We should never have treated Severus the way we did.” Remus explained. “He wasn’t doing anything to hurt us.”
“Were you guys always like that?” Harry demanded.
Harry dropped his eyes sadly, “More than I would care to admit.”
“Don’t make Snape so innocent Remus,” Sirius snapped. “Snape was capable of some pretty dark magic. He never passed up the chance to jinx James.”
“Maybe if you guys didn’t pick on him all the time,” Harry protested.
“You weren’t there, Harry. You don’t know what he was like. You’re letting him brainwash you into believing he was some helpless victim. You never saw what he and his Death Eater buddies did to the Muggle-borns. Your dad was just…” Sirius growled.
“The professor is my dad.” Harry cut in not caring how rude it was.
Sirius visibly cringed at the statement. “James is your dad. He gave up his life for you. Snape is just a bastard who asked your mum for some fun.” Sirius bit out before storming out of the the kitchen.
Harry stared at the place his godfather had just occupied dumbstruck.
Remus sat back just as horrified.
“Give him some time Harry,” Remus said after a moment. “He’ll come around.”
“Whatever,” Harry grumbled. “I’ll see you Remus.”
“Harry,” the werewolf called out, but the teen was already gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Present
“I was pretty upset after the talk with Sirius. He made it seem like it was okay to pick on Dad sine he was doing stuff James didn’t like. He didn’t get why I was upset and got mad at me for wanting to defend Dad. After something like that I should have been more careful about putting up my shields before I went to bed. If Dad had been in the room, he probably would have made sure I started Occluding then, but he wasn’t. He wanted to give me the freedom to talk to my godfather honestly. I didn’t wait to say good night, I was too upset. I just headed off to Gryffindor Tower.” Harry explained.
“I was still in a mood when I got to the Tower. I was too mad to think about my shields or anything really before I went to sleep. Remus tried to mend the fences between Sirius and me, but by that time it was already too late. My failure to put up my shields unearthed a secret Dad kept for more than fifteen years and nearly cost him his life.” Harry said sadly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
May 1996
Harry stormed into Gryffindor Common Room. His classmates cleared a path scared he might hex somebody at any moment. He found his friends by the fire and made his way to join them.
“Harry what’s wrong?” Hermione asked anxiously. “Did something happen during your detention?”
“Don’t be daft Hermione. Obviously something happened. What did the bat do now?” Ron asked.
Harry shot his friend a dark glare. “Why do you always assume it’s him?” Harry snapped. “You need to get over it Ron. We’re trying to make things better. I forgave him, you need to too.”
Harry didn’t bother waiting for whatever fumbled apology Ron could offer. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Ron’s insecurities. Harry headed up the stairs to the boy’s dorms. He wasn’t tired, but he didn’t want to be around people right now. He wished he had somewhere to escape to. Harry quickly changed into his pajamas and drew the curtains around his four-poster. At least if Ron or gods forbid Hermione came up they would think he was asleep. Not ten minutes later the pair made their expected visit. Harry made sure he slowed and deepened his breathing to complete the subterfuge.
“He’ll be fine ‘Mione,” Ron said beside Harry’s bed.
“He was really upset Ron. We don’t know why. Maybe we should try and wake him. He needs to talk about it.” Hermione protested.
Harry could almost see Ron rolling his eyes. “He’s fine. I’m betting Snape was being a git like always. Harry just doesn’t want to admit he can’t change.” The redhead said much too loud to be a whisper.
Hermione huffed but said, “Fine. Leave him be, but we should find out what happened before you start accusing the professor. Couldn’t you see it was upsetting Harry?”
Harry figured Ron shrugged at the statement. He listened as the two made their way out of the room.
Harry lay on his bed a long time lost in thought. He listened as his roommates came in and got ready for bed. Ron was the last, long after curfew.
Harry kept replaying the events of the last several days form his fight with his father to Sirius’ dismissal.
Harry didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He knew he dad was right to punish him for breaking into his Pensieve. Harry knew better than that. He was so curious. Harry thought the punishment was mostly fair too, especially the essay. He could only imagine what the Dursleys would have done for something like this. He would have been lucky to see the sun in months. They probably would have put him back in his cupboard no matter how much he had outgrown it.
Harry had been so worried that his father would do something like that too. Harry was almost convinced that his Dad would send him back to the Dursleys for it. He was so relieved when his dad said he would never do such a thing. Harry almost didn’t mind the professor called him an idiot. It was nice to know no matter what he had somebody he could count on to be there.
At that thought Harry’s anger came flaring back. Harry used to think Sirius would be that adult. Now though, it seemed like Sirius only ever cared about him because he thought Harry was James’ son. That fact hurt more than Harry expected it to. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe Sirius needed more time, but it was almost a year.
Harry didn’t remember drifting off to sleep. He tossed and turned in an uneasy sleep.
Harry was walking… no gliding down a familiar corridor. It was the Ministry. He turned a corner and found himself in Hogwarts main entrance. He paused to take in the stone walls and high ceilings. He continued into the castle. He headed down the well-worn stone stairs to the dungeons. He was looking for something, but he didn’t know what.
Harry made his way into the Potions’ classroom. The room was empty. There was a large stack of papers on the desk. Harry crossed the room but when Harry reached in ton top off the desk lay a single letter. Harry read it though with great interest. Severus Snape was his father. Albus Dumbledore knew his entire life, but left him at the Dursleys to preserve the blood wards. He did not want to endanger Severus’ cover as a double agent.
Voldemort pulled out of Harry Potter’s mind violently. He was betrayed! The filthy half-blood fathered his arch-nemesis! The traitor’s “love” for the mud-blood was the source of all of his problems. No one would betray Lord Voldemort in such a way and live to tell the tale. He would have his revenge and the boy would watch it all. The Dark Lord had plans to make.
Harry woke drenched in a cold sweat. He was nauseated. Something was wrong. That was not a normal dream. He needed to talk to his dad.
Harry threw back the drapes of this four-poster. It was just after dawn. If he was right he needed to talk to his dad now. Harry berated himself for his stupidity. Harry pulled on a pair of shoes and his Invisibility Cloak and headed out of the Tower.
“Who’s there,” the Fat Lady called out as she swung open. Harry ignored her taking off down the hall just shy of a run. He was outside the Potions Master’s office faster than probably ever made the trip before.
Harry paused he hadn’t thought what he’d do once he got here. He tried the lock on the door of course. Harry drew his wand, “Alohomora” he muttered softly. The door clicked open. The first obstacle down. Now came the tricky one, the door to his father’s private quarters.
Harry frowned. He father never told him the password for this door. Maybe it was charmed to his hand? What should he do now? Should he take a seat and wait for his dad to come out for breakfast? Harry need not think too hard on it. A moment later Severus Snape appeared wand in hand. His long hair was disheveled in sleep, dressed in a long grey nightshirt.
“Reveal yourself!” Severus demanded raising his wand.
Harry took a deep breath. “It’s me, Dad.” He said nervously as he pulled down the hood of the cloak.
“What shape do my shields take?” Severus demanded wand pointed between Harry’s eyes.
“Potions… potions cupboard. It’s all in letter order,” Harry chocked out.
“Asked me a question only you and I would know,” Severus demanded.
Harry gave his father a puzzled look. Harry frowned. “Err… who’s Ripper?”
Severus raised an eyebrow at the question. “Your ‘aunt’ Marge’s foul tempered bulldog.”
“Alright,” Harry said as Severus finally lowered his wand. “What was that all about?”
“I am not used to visits to my office nor my personal quarters just after dawn. The last such visitor was an insane imposter of a barely sane ex-Auror. I thought it wise to confirm your identity Harry.” Severus explained.
Harry nodded in understanding, “Hadn’t thought of that.” Harry said nervously.
Severus turned back to the door to his quarters gesturing for Harry to follow. The younger wizard pulled off his cloak and did as his father requested.
Harry took a seat on his father’s sofa as Severus collapsed into his arm chair.
“Now tell me why you are here Harry.” Severus commanded.
“I had …. Errr…. I had a dream. It wasn’t a normal dream though. It was more like what happened at Christmas and last summer.” Harry explained.
“You are referring to the instances when you saw through the Dark Lord’s eyes?” Severus tried to clarify.
“Yeah,” Harry confirmed, “Except this time he was walking the halls of Hogwarts.”
Severus blanched unpleasantly, “Did you Occlude before you went to sleep tonight?” Severus demanded.
Harry shook his head. “I don’t remember falling asleep. I was just in the entry hall all of a sudden.”
“How far did the Dark Lord make it?” Severus demanded his anxiety increasing exponentially as the seconds passed. He pushed in all down below his shields. He did not have the luxury to worry at the moment.
Harry swallowed nervously. “The Potions’ classroom.”
Severus’ eyes narrowed. “Did he find anything?”
Harry nodded, ‘There was a letter…the letter… it was on the desk.”
Severus felt faint. The Dark Lord knew Harry’s parentage. What would the mad man do?
Severus bolted out of his chair. “I must speak with the Headmaster. Stay here. You are not to leave before I return.” Severus commanded.
“What about class?” Harry asked.
“Not until I return. Am I understood?” Severus repeated.
Harry nodded, “Yes sir.”
With one last look, Severus disappeared.
Harry sat uncomfortably on the sofa. Who knew when the wizard would be back? Harry paced the room for a while. It did little good, it was only making him more restless. Harry stopped in front of one of the many bookshelves and grabbed a volume at random, maybe he could read while he waited. Harry flopped back down on the sofa. He tried reading, but this too failed to sooth his frayed nerves. Somehow he fell asleep at some point.
Severus found Harry asleep on his sofa almost a full three hours after he left. His discussion with Albus covered many things, Harry’s most recent vision and what it meant for Severus most likely.
The Headmaster was convinced Severus was safe. Even if he did know Severus was Harry’s father Albus believed Voldemort would be too conceited to believe anyone capable of deceiving him for so long. They agreed, however, it did put Harry at higher risk. They both expected Voldemort to request that Severus bring Harry to him at some point.
No matter what occured, that must not happen.
Severus looked down at his son once more. The boy looked so young. Even in sleep though the boy could not escape his troubles. Severus placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder and shook him gently. “Wake up, Harry.”
There was no response. “Harry, wake up.” Severus tired again. Again the teen refused to wake. “Potter!” Severus finally snapped.
“Huh,” the teen mumbled blearily.
“Wake up, Harry. We need to talk,” Severus hissed.
Harry rubbed his face to remove the last remains of sleep from his eyes, knocking his glasses further askew. “You’re back,” Harry said sitting back up.
“Indeed.” Severus said taking a seat.
A tea service already lay ready on the coffee table. Harry looked at it curiously.
“What time is it?” Harry asked grabbing a scone.
“Half eight,” Severus supplied. “You should be able to attend class as scheduled. First, we must have a discussion of what you witnessed this morning.”
Harry sat in silence nibbling on his pastry.
“The Headmaster believes I am in no immediate danger from your mistake this morning. You, however, may be at future risk. It would come as no surprise if the Dark Lord desired me to deliver you to him.” Severus explained calmly.
Harry sat in horrified silence as his father spoke.
“You need not fear that happening, but you need to be aware of the possibility of his request. If should go without saying we cannot afford for such an event to happen again. You MUST make certain you Occlude your mind at least with minimal shields at all times. When you sleep you must have your shields as strong as possible.” Severus instructed in his strictest teacher voice. He left no room for argument.
Harry nodded dumbly.
“Would you care to explain what happened last night?” Severus asked.
Harry shook his head.
“I cannot make things better if I do not know what is wrong, Harry.” Severus implored gently.
Harry’s eyes feel to his scuffed trainers. “I got in a fight with Sirius. I don’t remember falling asleep…”
Severus frowned. He was going to kill Black. “Very well. You need to be on your way to class.”
“Yes sir,” Harry said rising.
Harry stopped at the door, “I’m sorry for all this you know.” Harry said sadly.
Severus looked back at his son, “I am too, Harry. More than you will ever know. Now go get ready for class. I will see you tonight.”
Harry fought back a groan. In all the excitement he forgot about his detention.
The End.