"Ah, Severus. To what do I owe the pleasure? Dolly Mixture? I've grown rather fond of them."

How Snape wished Dumbledore didn't feel it necessary to toy with him. It would make these conversations so much simpler.

"You and I both know what - or rather whom - this is regarding, Headmaster," replied Snape coolly, ignoring the proffered bowl, which Dumbledore set back down, still smiling jovially. He always offered and, always, Severus declined. He wondered if the Headmaster might fall out of his chair in shock if one day he decided to indulge in his obsession with confectionary. "Potter -"

"That matter has been dealt with," said Dumbledore, peering over his half-moon glasses as he leant comfortably back in his chair.

"I do not believe it has." Curse that man, Severus thought. Did he always have to be so difficult where that boy was concerned? If he only listened to Snape once in a while, they might have avoided some of the boy's more dangerous escapades last year. "The boy is out of control, Albus. He has no respect for authority, he disregards rules. And you are not helping matters. You are far too lenient with him."

There. He'd said it. Dumbledore simply regarded him calmly, his eyes twinkling in that familiar way as though he weren't in the least surprised by Severus' accusations.

"Go on."

Severus took a breath, "As important as you seem to believe him to be - a fact of which he is very much aware, I might add - it does not give him permission to do as he pleases. He is a child, Albus, and one in desperate need of discipline. For Merlin's sake, he flew here! And barely received any sort of punishment for his actions. If it were up to me -"

"You would have had him expelled, Severus? Would you have me send him from Hogwarts?" The Headmaster's tone was one of mild curiosity, quietly interested in what Snape had to say. Sometimes he sorely hated his intuitiveness.

Severus resisted the urge to squirm uncomfortably in his chair. “That is beside the point, Headmaster,” he said dismissively. “A single detention hardly seems fitting. Potter could have easily gotten himself killed. The school year has barely begun and already he is determined to make it a difficult one.”

The Headmaster nodded as he spoke, smiling patiently. “Severus, I am as concerned about Harry’s welfare as you are.” Snape opened his mouth to protest but Dumbledore continued before he could even begin to deny such a, what was to him, an outlandish claim. “But I am certain I do not have to tell you how difficult it is being a child. As you say, that is what he is. They are bound to make mistakes.”

Severus said nothing. He sat stiffly in the chair, his voluminous black robes seeming an entity of their own, swamping his thin frame.

“But you have raised a very important point,” he continued, steepling his fingers lightly, sparkling blue eyes regarding the ceiling in a thoughtful manner. Severus’ shoulders seemed to tense of their own violation, an instinctual reaction he‘d developed over the years. He knew that expression. Whenever Dumbledore was conjuring some brilliant, half-brained scheme that he knew Severus would not like in the least, he always made a point to agree with him to soften the blow. No. It was safe to say that Severus didn’t like how this conversation was going at all. “Harry is in need of a role model, wouldn’t you say? Someone that he can trust and confide in. Someone patient but firm.”

Again, Severus couldn’t bring himself to interrupt. He had a feeling that if he did, the worst might happen. Merlin, he prayed the Headmaster wasn’t seriously considering…

“Yes. What a terrific idea, my boy. It’s a shame I didn’t think of it myself. I want you to make Harry’s well-being top priority. He will be your responsibility as well as Minerva’s from now on.”

“But,“ Snape spluttered, “Headmaster -”

“Ah.” Albus raised a hand, smiling brighter as he stood and came around the desk to clap Severus upon the shoulder and steer him towards the door. “Not another word, Severus. You’ve managed to persuade me. Consider yourself the mentor Harry needs.”

He was ushered briskly out of the door, his mind still attempting to make sense of what had just transpired. He hadn’t proposed this, had he? No, it was absurd! He couldn’t -

“Goodnight, Severus. Do let me know how you get on.” With that, Dumbledore closed the door firmly, leaving Severus to flounder helplessly upon the spiral staircase, dumbfounded.

… What had just happened?