Severus woke with a smile on his face. It had been a very long time—if ever—since he had woken with a smile on his face. After lying for several minutes looking at the unfamiliar ceiling, he decided he liked the new muscle configuration of his face.

His thoughts were all centred on the previous night. Erin…Erin, and the feel of her in his arms. Erin’s mouth on his, and the fact that she apparently cared for him enough to have allowed him access to her memories so that he could see that she was not just amusing herself with him.

And Severus had seen. But he had invaded her mind with the greatest reluctance. He had been as quick as he could, but it had still taken him more than three minutes to sort through the morass of memories. As he trawled through Erin’s early life, he had fleeting impressions of her parents and brother, a dog and several cats, long stretches of golden beaches and—here Severus did linger for several seconds longer than he should have—Erin with a look of abject fear, cowering against a wall as a man stood over her and screamed invective directly into her face. He was about her height, and had blonde, wavy hair and a pretentious, slide-rule neat little beard and moustache that surrounded his mouth and covered the point of his chin. His jaw line and cheeks and throat were free of facial hair.

Severus had had to thrust the sudden surge of fury away so that he could concentrate on the images that were still rushing past at the speed of a thestral on the wing. With tightened jaw, because of that memory of whom, Severus presumed, was her Muggle husband, he watched Erin when she first met Potter on the front lawn of his relative’s home where he appeared to be on the brink of passing out. He watched her practically drag him into her own home and feed and hydrate him. And he watched with some amazement as Potter released a blast of accidental magic against his foul cousin and his friends. Then there was a trip to the supermarket with Erin feeding the boy again and her fiery self confronting Petunia and Dudley Dursley.

He also saw Vernon Dursley through Erin’s eyes and the look of fearful disquiet she had seen on Potter’s face when the fat Muggle had ordered his nephew into the house.

Then he had seen an image of a dark, cloaked figure skulking across a road and then across a lawn. He had seen Erin rushing to Potter’s rescue after she had armed herself—her memory of pushing open the front door and sneaking around the downstairs rooms and her shock when she had obviously heard the door being blasted apart above her.

When she had rushed up the stairs, it was obvious that she had no longer been intent on stealth, and Severus could not believe that he had not heard her. He had to admit that her initial impression of his cloaked figure kneeling over a small battered and bloodied body had looked appalling.

And then her memories of when she had first woken in the hospital wing had rushed by. He felt her fear, especially when she was in the ‘full body bind’, but he couldn’t help being freshly amused by her initial impressions of Albus, Minerva and himself. And after her initial fears had been quelled, he could not help but see that her focus had more often than not been on him; even with his sour demeanour, she kept shooting covert glances at him.

Her preoccupation with him was put on hold for a short time when she had realised that Potter was safely tucked up in another bed, and her relief was palpable, even seeing it second hand as he was. Severus saw her amazement at Potter’s lack of injuries, considering what she had seen in the bedroom at Privet Drive and he could feel her dawning comprehension that there really was such a thing as magic.

But then he had seen her anger at him for his less than caring attitude towards the boy. It confused her as much as it upset her; she could not understand his attitude in the face of all the Potter acolytes surrounding the boy and because it had been he who had rescued and healed Potter. But his nasty attitude, his barbed tongue and disdainful looks notwithstanding, she had still been drawn to him.

The trip to London had been a time of confusion, discomfort and fear for her…fear when she had heard Selwyn and himself conversing on the steps of Gringotts, but he was pleased to note that her fear of Selwyn had not transferred to him, even if her curiosity had been aroused and she had become wary of his connection to the powerful wizard who had caused all of her heartache.

But that wariness had been assuaged when he had gone to find her cat and Severus could see that her attraction to him went up a notch after this act of chivalry on his part.

Up until then, she had tried to distance herself from him, she had even tried to convince herself that she disliked him intensely. It was beyond him how she had not managed to convince herself she disliked him, because seeing himself through her eyes, he most certainly disliked Severus Snape. His dislike of himself turned to loathing as he watched her distress after he had sent her away from his dungeon lab, and she had wandered the passageways until she was lost; she had broken down and allowed her distress over him to reduce her to a weeping mess.

Severus understood a little better why Erin felt sympathetic towards Dobby because it was he who had rescued her from those labyrinthine passageways and guided her safely back to her room. With his self-loathing at an all time high, Severus promised himself that he would make every effort to break the habit of many years standing, and be less superior around the house-elf...around house-elves in general, in fact.

Her remaining memories showed more of her affection and concern for Potter—that could perhaps become a real problem where he was concerned—and her reluctant feelings for him hidden behind casual and sometimes barbed indifference.

And her feelings when they had both dropped their facades of prickly indifference had obviously been as intense and welcome as his own had been. She had revelled in their physicality, and had been just as eager as he to take that physicality to the next level, but like him, she had decided that time to get to know each other without the aggression of their earlier acquaintance was the way they should go. For as long as one, or both of them could restrain themselves anyway.

And after he had withdrawn from her mind as gently as he could and he had seated her and dosed her with a mild headache potion, they had indulged their senses with more gentle teasing with lips and hands. He had enjoyed it even more because he was now sure that he was not just someone she was amusing herself with until something better came along. He was who she wanted. And she was definitely who he wanted.

It had been hard leaving her at her bedroom door after she had insisted on checking that the boy was sleeping peacefully. Severus had watched from the door as she pulled the covers back over Potter’s thin shoulders. No, he didn’t think he was going to like sharing Erin with Harry Potter one little bit.

8888

Half an hour after waking and showering, Severus left his room, eager to see Erin again. He got his wish a little quicker than he had thought to as she was just leaving her own room. When she saw him, her face lit up; it was as though a candle was burning behind her eyes, giving her skin a translucency and her eyes a sparkle that made her even more beautiful.

When Severus advanced and would have gathered her into his arms, she backed up half a step. She put a finger to her lips and pointed over his shoulder. Severus knew she was indicating Potter’s room and he understood. He took her hand and kissed her fingers.

“He's not in there,” he said softly. “He must be downstairs already.”

Erin’s smile became beatific and she raised herself on tip toe, put her hand behind his neck and pulled his head down for a thorough kiss. Severus obliged her, but they both kept an ear peeled in case Harry came bolting up the stairs. He didn’t, and they indulged themselves for several minutes. Finally, reluctantly, Severus pulled back.

Erin dropped her forehead onto his chest. “I've missed you,” she said huskily.

Severus’s lips quirked and though Erin didn’t see, she heard the humour in his voice when he said, “Yes, I know. Its been so terribly long since we last saw each other.”

Erin looked up at him with her head cocked to one side. Severus was a good ten inches taller than her and now that she was not on tip toe, she had a fair way to look up. “If true wit deserts one, sarcasm is a viable stopgap I suppose,” she said saucily.

Severus quirked an eyebrow and looked appropriately stern. “You know madam, if this relationship is to continue and flourish, you really need to learn to be a lot less lippy and much more subservient and worshipful.”

Erin stepped back and much to Severus’s delight, she raised her own red-gold eyebrow in perfect imitation of his. “Really sir,” she said deadpan. “Worshipful might just be on the cards if you continue to comport yourself in the manner to which I have become accustomed, but subservient, sir…red-haired females do not do subservient. As for lippy, well, that is an unfortunate side effect of being female and I could no more change that than fly a broom.”

They stood at the head of the stairs, Erin grinning delightedly and Severus’s lips quirked in what passed—for him—as a smile. “Then I suppose I’ll just have to settle for worshipful,” he said, running his thumb over her bottom lip. He leaned his head forward to claim her lips again when Dobby’s voice, followed by Harry’s drifted up the stairs to them, and Severus stepped back and donned his usual mirthless expression.

“After you, Miss Hanson,” he said out loud and Erin sighed as she descended the stairs ahead of him. She infinitely preferred the quietly happy Severus to the dour Professor Snape.

Harry was standing at the large window looking out towards the cliff faces and the ocean beyond. He turned when he heard footsteps and his lips lifted in a smile when he saw Erin, but then Snape appeared behind her and the smile disappeared so fast, Erin wondered if she had seen it at all.

She sighed again. She had her job cut out for her if she was going to reconcile these two stubborn males to the other’s presence. She smiled at Harry and crossing the room to stand beside him, she put her arm around his shoulder. “How are you this morning?” she asked brightly, aware that Severus had moved into the dining room. She wondered if Harry remembered his dream from the night before.

Harry shrugged and took a sip from the mug of tea he was holding. He kept his eyes on the wheeling birds around the cliffs. “As OK as I can be considering I’m being kept prisoner,” he said, trying not to sound too bitter and miserable in front of Erin. After all, it wasn’t her fault.

“Oh, Harry. I'm sure it wont be for long. Professor Dumbledore is very worried about you and he thought you needed a break away from everything.”

“In other words, he thinks, I’m a nutter and he wanted me away from other people for their safety. I suppose if I’m here, nobody has to worry about me. Now that my aunt’s dead, they had to shove me somewhere. Why not in the bloody back of beyond. The further away, the better.”

“That’s not true. You’re being silly. Professor Dumbledore just wants you to have some peace and quiet so that you can…can come to terms with the terrible things that have happened to you.”

“Terrible things have been happening to me since I was fifteen months old, Erin. Professor Dumbledore has always tried to shove me somewhere where I won’t be thought about. First, the Dursleys, now here. Well out of the way again. But I suppose it’s easier than having to deal with me.”

“As usual, Potter, you’re talking utter drivel!” Severus had appeared beside them with two cups of tea in his hands. Harry clamped his lips together and watched as Snape held out one cup to Erin and raised his eyebrow to question whether she wanted it. She gave a tight smile of thanks and took the cup.

Snape turned back to Harry. “That’s a very interesting theory you’ve come up with, but you know that it’s just a fairytale.”

Harry’s knuckles whitened as his grip on his mug tightened. Erin watched in some alarm as he glared at Severus, his chest rising and falling in anger. It was obvious that he was bursting to argue, but in the end, although the effort looked as if it would make him physically ill, Harry brushed past Severus without saying a word and stalked off to the dining room.

Erin looked at Severus and she could see that he was rather surprised at Harry’s abrupt departure. He had expected him to back-talk him. She stepped a little closer to him and raised her own cup to her lips. Before she took a sip, she said out of the corner of her mouth, “Don’t bait him, Severus. He has a perfect right to feel hard done by.”

Severus just ‘hmmphed’ in response and followed her as she too headed for the breakfast table. Erin was not too shocked to see the choices laid out for breakfast considering what Dobby had presented them with the night before. Though Erin thought that he had made a small effort at restraint…there were only two types of eggs to go with the bacon, sausages, mushrooms and tomatoes…fried and scrambled. There was also toast, with choices of honey, marmalade and raspberry jam and a tureen of porridge.

Harry was spooning honey onto porridge when Severus and Erin sat down. He ignored them completely as he began to eat. He shovelled the porridge into his mouth, hardly giving himself time to swallow before taking in the next spoonful.

The meal progressed in a very uncomfortable silence. Erin tried to break it a couple of times, but any remarks directed at Harry were met with little more than monosyllabic answers—little more than grunts really—and as she could see that Severus was getting angrier and angrier at the surly teen’s ill-mannered behaviour, she gave up and concentrated on her own meal.

Harry eschewed the cooked meal, and after finishing a piece of toast and marmalade and draining a second mug of tea, he pushed his chair back to stand. Erin tensed. She could see what was going to happen before it did; Severus had had enough; Erin could tell by the tautening of his facial muscles and the tense set of his shoulders under his black robes. She had learned to read his expressions in a remarkably short time. Harry’s attempting to leave the table without a word was the last straw.

“Potter!” he barked. “Sit down!”. Erin tried to signal him with her eyes to have a bit of patience, but Severus refused to look at her.

Harry’s jaw set pugnaciously, but he lowered his backside back onto the padded seat. He sat with his lips locked together so tightly, they were white. Refusing to look at Severus. he kept his eyes on the mess of crumbs on his plate.

“Your manners are appalling Potter, but we are going to begin to do something about that, starting right now.”

Erin could see Harry was practically ready to explode, so desperate was he to answer back, but once again, he held back. His restraint seemed like it must be causing him physical pain.

“From now on,” Severus was saying, “whilst eating, you will pretend that you are a human being instead of a dog that bolts it food down without benefit of chewing or tasting.” Harry looked as if he had shut himself off from Severus’s rant, he was staring at the wall opposite and taking deep, measured breaths. If Severus noticed, he decided not to make an issue of Harry not looking at him while he spoke.

“You will wait until everyone is seated at the table before you begin to eat…you are not in the Great Hall now, with the rest of the pack of dogs. And you will ask permission to leave the table when you’ve finished.”

Erin didn’t need to be able to do what Severus had done to her last night to see what Harry was thinking. Even though he looked calm while cyclone Severus raged around him, Harry’s eyes were turbulent with anger and resentment. She didn’t know how he was keeping it all in. It should have exploded from him before now.

Severus was thinking along the same lines and the lack of insolence and the stoic expression were quite worrying. He could see the concern in Erin’s face and fought hard not to let any such emotion appear on his own.

“Did you hear me, Potter?”

“Yes, sir.” Harry spoke to the wall; his lips seeming not to move at all, the whiteness of them contrasting with the heightened colour in his cheeks. It looked as if it took the greatest effort to speak.

“Well!” barked Severus, when Harry fell silent again.

“May I please leave the table?” The wall was still the recipient of this request. Erin finally caught Severus’s eye and hers begged him not to berate Harry further.

Severus conceded defeat. “Get out of my sight, Potter!”

Harry stood but before he could absent himself Severus spoke again. “You have an hour. After that, I want you down in the potions lab with your homework assignments and your books.”

“Yes, sir.”

Severus let him go and Erin watched Harry stride from the room, his ramrod straight back and clenched fists a sure sign of his fury. They heard the front door open and close with a restrained click that reverberated through the house. The muted noise only emphasised the explosive emotions Harry had suppressed.

Erin looked at Severus with dismay. “Should he be out there?”

“He can’t get past the wards,” assured Severus.

Erin’s appetite had quite deserted her and she made no attempt to pick up her cutlery that she had placed on her plate at the beginning of Severus’s lecture. Her eyes were full of concern. Severus was relieved to see that she was not angry with him.

She shook her head helplessly. “He’s so angry and resentful. So sad. I think he feels betrayed by Professor Dumbledore. And I have to wonder exactly what Dumbledore thought he was going to achieve, isolating Harry here with us.”

“That,” said Severus darkly, “is a very good question. After you have known Dumbledore a little longer, you’ll learn that he spends a good part of his life controlling other people’s lives.”

Severus poured them both another cup of tea from the perpetually warm pot. “You’ve seen that Potter and I have…well, we have what can only be called a volatile relationship. I believe, now that I have had the blinkers removed from my eyes regarding the boy’s home life, that Albus hopes that we might become less—for want of a better word—negative around each other.”

Severus speared her with those black, black eyes over the top of his cup. You, of course, are the buffer and the means.”

Erin frowned. “What? I’m supposed to stop you killing each other?”

“Perhaps. But I think Albus’s machinations go much further than that. The man is more farseeing than anyone else that I know. He could see what was happening between you and I before either of us was willing to admit to our feelings.

“He also saw—not that it was difficult—that you care for Potter and that Potter has come to care for, and rely on you.”

Severus leaned forward and put his hand over Erin's where it lay on the table. “You and I are meant to admit our feelings for each other and then you are meant to convince Potter and me that we can get along perfectly well if we will only make the effort.”

Erin squeezed the fingers that were wrapped around her own. “Is that possible, do you think?” she asked quietly.

Severus pulled away and sat back in his chair. “A week ago, I would have said no. Now…” Severus took a deep breath and stared out the large window. Sitting, as he was, all he could see was the sky dotted with myriad small specks that were sea birds, many of which nested in the crevices and small caves in the cliff faces.

“Now?” prompted Erin quietly

“Now, I've seen some of his life from a different perspective.”

“And it’s made a difference?”

“It’s made some difference,” said Severus, carefully, “but there’s a history there that is going to be quite a significant stumbling block to Potter and I ever reaching an accord.

Erin’s brow was furrowed. “I do not understand what a boy whom you have apparently only known since he started at Hogwarts can have done to make you hate him so. Do you dislike all your students? And if so, do you dislike them to the extent you dislike Harry? And if that’s the case, that begs the question, why did you ever become a teacher?”

Severus wasn’t ready for all of this. He knew that he would have to tell Erin certain things, because he knew that she was going to keep on asking until she was satisfied. He knew that most of his treatment of The Boy Who Lived was reprehensible. What kind of a man allowed his hatred of a childhood adversary to extend to his treatment of the eleven year old child of that adversary? An innocent child who had come under his purview…a child, who, at the time, did not even know the history of his own father, and therefore had no idea as to why the big, bad, potions professor hated his guts.

Severus was sure that Erin would not think that the fact Harry looked just like his hated father was reason enough for him, to have waged a war of attrition on an innocent child for the last five years. Especially if she learned that he had actually been in love with Harry’s mother. She would point out—and rightly so—that Harry was just as much his mother’s son, as he was his father’s.

And if she ever learned any of the details of the actual psychological abuse he had subjected Potter to…well, he just did not want her to learn about that. She already knew that he was far from being a exemplary human being, but he didn’t know if she would be able to turn a blind eye to the whole of his and Potter’s muddy history.

“Severus?” prompted Erin.

Severus sighed. “Teaching wasn’t my first choice of profession, In fact, it never featured in any dreams that I had about how I might like to live my life.”

“I’ve wondered why you never made use of your healing skills. Looking after sick people never appealed to you either?”

“I think you know me well enough now to realise that I have very little patience. Of the two choices…helping educate untrained wizards and witches or looking after sick people…well, teaching was the lesser of two evils.”

Erin cocked her head to one side. “It’s obvious that you’re not a people person, Severus, so why didn’t you get into research with your potion making? From what I’ve heard, you are the best.”

“Working at Hogwarts gives me ample opportunity to indulge my passion for potion making. The down side is that I have a day job.”

Erin smiled ruefully. “Damn those pesky students!”

Severus smiled grimly. “Precisely.” He ran the knuckle above his index finger over his thin lips. “There’s a lot that you don’t understand, Erin. I don’t really want to tell you—the telling won’t paint me in a very favourable light—but I know you need answers.

“When Potter goes to bed tonight, you’ll get some answers.”

Erin watched him, her eyes soft. “I think I can wait that long.” She pushed her chair back and stood, walking around the table towards him. Through the large window, she could see Harry standing at the very edge of what she assumed was the limit of the wards. Reassured that he was well out of the way, she ran her hand across the width of Severus’s shoulders and then bent so that her mouth was next to his ear.

“And what if Harry doesn’t go to bed?” she whispered before taking the fleshy part of his ear between her teeth and giving it a tiny bite.

“I’ll force the Draught of Living Death down his throat,” groaned Severus, and he shut his eyes and tipped his head to the side so that she had better access to his neck. Erin pushed his midnight black hair to the side and kissed him on the angle of his jaw. Then she nearly sent him over the edge by blowing into his ear.

“If you keep this up, I’ll have to spend some time becoming better acquainted with my shower cubicle.”

“There’s nothing as good as a nice, hot shower,” said Erin in a husky voice, before kissing his neck.

“Oh, I can think of something that I would prefer to a nice, hot shower,” Severus said in a tight, pained voice. And right then, Erin agreed with him wholeheartedly, and, but for their housemate, she might have decided that this was as good a time as any to indulge themselves the way they both wanted. But the view through the window showed her that Harry had turned away from his study of the roiling Atlantic. She could see his hair was being ruffled by the wind and as his shoulders were hunched, she assumed that he was cold.

Severus had grabbed her arm that was still draped across his shoulders and was trying to pull her onto his knee, but Erin resisted. He looked at her questioningly, his black eyes burning with the feverish light Erin had come to look for. She took his face between both of her hands and kissed him on his parted lips.

“I’m sorry, my love,” she whispered against his lips, “but Harry’s on his way back inside.”

Severus groaned but he let Erin put the length of the table between them.

“He’s going to have to learn about us sooner or later, but I think right now is way too soon,” said Erin somewhat regretfully.

The not infrequent desire to hex Potter into something that didn’t so much resemble a boy as it did a sea urchin thundered through Severus, but the knowing look that Erin sent his way, was enough to calm his raging frustration.

They heard the front door open and close and the sound of hurried footsteps ascending the wooden stairs. Severus pushed himself to his feet and followed Erin as she left the dining room. “It’s going to be a long day,” he said resignedly.

“Very long,” agreed Erin quietly, “But I'm sure we’ll survive.”

“Oh, I’m sure we will,” said Severus, “but I’m not sure about Potter.”

“Severus!”

Severus looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“That is the kind of comment you need to stop making. He needs our help to get him past the horrible things that have happened to him lately.”

“If I die of frustration in the mean time, I’m not going to be any use to Potter.”

Erin smiled at him. “You’re a strong man.” And she headed for the stairs. With one foot on the bottom stair, she turned back to face him.

“Severus, just so I know; what is the Draught of Living Death?”

Severus quirked that mobile eyebrow and he smirked. “Why don’t you ask Potter? He should even be able to tell you a couple of the ingredients.”

Erin lifted her chin and raised her own eyebrow. “I take it that that was a lesson he will never forget,” she drawled knowingly.

“His very first potions lesson, in fact,” Severus admitted. And then he added with a feeble attempt at contrition, “Not my finest hour.”

Erin shook her head in a ‘what am I going to do with you’ sort of way. “You started on him in his very first lesson with you? He had only just started his magical education, hadn't he? Were you trying to convince him that he would be better off in the non-magical world?”

Severus shrugged his shoulders, looking much like a young boy who had been caught in wrongdoing and was going to come up with all of the reasons why what he had done had been so very necessary. But all he came out with was, “It felt good at the time.”

Erin just stared at him and Severus wasn’t surprised to see a flash of anger in her lovely eyes. “Severus Snape, I can see that I’m going to have to take you in hand.” When Severus’s lips quirked and he raised his eyebrows hopefully, she added impatiently, “and not the way you want!” Then she spun about and headed up the stairs, leaving Severus looking longingly after her.

8888

One hour and fifteen minutes after telling Harry to present himself in the lab, the wretched boy had still not arrived. Severus was not used to having a direct order disobeyed, but he wasn’t going to allow his temper to get the better of him and go storming off to find Potter, no matter how irritated he was. He would show Erin that he could deal with the boy in a cool, calm and collected manner. He would wait another arryHH

ten minutes before he went searching, and then he would chastise the boy in a responsible and restrained way. Or perhaps not.

Severus shook his head at his own flight of fancy as he directed the flow of mild sleeping draught from the iron cauldron into a glass pouring jug with his wand. Severus Snape, restrained, and Harry Potter, did not belong in the same sentence. They never had before anyway.

This was going to be a very steep learning curve for Severus. He began to hand pour the cherry red potion into the first of two dozen tiny phials. He did not know whether he was capable of even being neutral around James Potter’s son, let alone begin to think of him in a friendly light. But he had to at least make the effort because he didn’t want to disappoint Erin any more than he had already done since they had first become acquainted.

When Severus finished filling his phials, he checked the time again. Another fifteen minutes had elapsed and he knew he could wait no longer. He spelled his hands clean. The potion in the phials was still slightly warm and he had to wait until it was totally cooled before he could seal the phials. He would get Potter to help him seal them.

There were twenty stone steps leading up to the door that separated the potions lab from the rest of the house. It was a very sturdy oak door much like most of the doors found at Hogwarts. The doors to all the other rooms in the house were the sort of doors you would find in most homes. They suited the design of the house, which was typically Muggle with a few, magical amendments, such as the enlarged fireplace in the living room.

Erin was sitting in the living room reading one of her newly purchased novels. Severus paused in the double doorway and just drank in the sight of her, curled like a cat as she was, twirling a lock of her long, golden-red hair around her index finger. His own fingers twitched restlessly; they wanted to be touching that hair.

Erin must have sensed him standing there because she looked up. Her smile was instant. “Hey you,” she said quietly. “I thought you’d be supervising Harry while he slaves away.”

Severus frowned. “He hasn’t deigned to put in an appearance. Haven’t you seen him?”

“About half an hour ago. Upstairs. He and Pumpkin were doing some more bonding.”

“Did you talk?”

Erin shrugged. “Only about incidental things. The weather, Pumpkin, his owl…”

“He didn’t intimate that he wasn’t going to show up in the potions lab?”

Erin shook her head. “Did he know where it was?” asked Erin.

Severus drew in an irritated breath. “All he would have needed to do is ask Dobby. Potter would know that.”

He started to turn away, but stopped and looked at her again. “Good book?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.”

“Excellent,” she answered, and she held up the book so that he could see the cover.

“‘The Complete Works of Jane Austen’,” Severus recited, and then, “ah. You like Jane Austen?”

Now it was Erin’s turn to raise her eyebrow. “You’ve heard of Jane Austen?”

“My Muggle grandmother was a prolific reader and Jane Austen was her favourite. She was in a nursing home for about six months before she died and as she was nearly blind, I read to her whenever I visited. I got all the way through her favourite, ‘Pride and Prejudice’, and halfway through ‘Emma’, before she died.”

“I’m sorry Severus,” said Erin. “You must have been very fond of her.”

“She was the best part of my father,” said Severus shortly. He was gazing into the past and Erin watched him with sadness in her eyes. It was a full minute before he snapped back to the present.

“Are you OK,” asked Erin? Severus gave her a tight smile.

“I’ll see you at lunch.” And with his robes swirling, he turned abruptly to cross the hallway and ascend the stairs. Within seconds he was at Harry’s bedroom door.

Harry was lying on his bed with the cat purring away on his chest. The boy was automatically stroking the sleek, little body but his gaze was far away, just as Severus’s had been a minute ago.

“Potter!” barked Severus, and he was pleased to see the boy jump in fright. The cat too awoke, yowled, and streaked away, a blur of black fur.

Harry was halfway to sitting up before his brain caught up with his reflexes. His upward motion stopped and with a glare at Severus, he casually lay back against his pillows, transferring his glare to the ceiling.

Severus was stunned, but he didn’t let it show. The boy was deliberately ignoring him. Potter was a Gryffindor, indubitably, but he wasn’t that idiotically brave, surely. Severus’s every instinct was to yell right into the brat’s face, drag him upright by the arm and frog march him down the stairs. But thoughts of Erin had him drawing in deep, steadying breaths to try and calm himself.

His next words were menacingly soft and stilted. “Why aren’t you down in the potions lab, Potter?”

There was silence for several taut seconds before Harry answered. “I had other things to do.”

Severus’s dark brows drew together and his black eyes blazed dangerously. “You had other things to do?” he repeated ominously. Perhaps they needed another house at Hogwarts. For students who were total fools!

“I do not consider stroking the cat and gazing at the ceiling to be earth-shatteringly important occupations, and therefore not a worthy excuse for not turning up with your homework assignments.”

Harry was surprised that he wasn’t actually being verbally flailed. Snape must really regret that it was the holidays because he wouldn’t be able to give him a detention. But then again, this whole set up was one big detention wasn’t it? And he had threatened to take points and keep a tally. But Harry hardly cared anymore.

“Get up, Potter, and get your books.”

Very restrained, thought Harry, amazed. That won’t last for long.

“No!” he said, surprised at his own daring.

More steadying breaths, this lot not as successful as his voice emerged slightly louder than it had before. “That was not a request, Potter. Now, get up!”

“No!”

“POTTER!” All restraint was now gone and Harry seemed to realise it. His memory of Snape throwing him across his office and then launching a jar of cockroaches at him rose up to taunt him. Belatedly, he realised that this man was perfectly capable of violence if push came to shove. Well, Harry wasn’t going to back down, but he would explain why he was being so defiant.

“I wont need to do the homework. I told you last night that I’m not going back to Hogwarts.”

Severus crossed his arms over his chest. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Erin lurking at the top of the stairs. He wasn’t really surprised. She had obviously been alerted by his raised voice that all was not well between her teenage friend and her newly acknowledged lover. She was going to make sure said lover didn’t kill the idiot child.

Severus reached up and massaged his forehead. He could feel a major headache coming on. “I’m not in the mood for your idiocy, Potter…”

“Call it what you like, sir, but I’ve decided that I’ve had it with Hogwarts and being a wizard. Didn’t you wonder why I haven’t asked for my wand back?” Harry had risen from his bed during this incredible speech. He had decided that he was definitely at a disadvantage lying down with Snape looming over him. He was now leaning a shoulder against the wall near the fireplace. A good, safe distance.

Severus had actually wondered why Potter had not asked for his wand. Even though he couldn’t use magic during the holidays, no wizard liked to be without his wand for any length of time.

Erin was no longer trying to hide. This sounded too serious to be skulking about at the top of the stairs. When she entered the room, Harry’s eyes darted to her. She thought he looked like a frightened little boy who had gone way past the depth in which he was comfortable. Harry opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something to her, but he changed his mind, swallowed painfully and returned his eyes to Severus.

“Potter…” started Severus in a long suffering voice, “I really don’t know what you’re hoping to achieve with this. You are a wizard…”

“Yes, sir,” agreed Harry, a little desperately. “But that’s the problem. Being a wizard is not the brilliant fun I thought it would be. It’s too hard. I can't do it anymore.”

“Being a wizard is not a career choice. Being a wizard is a birth right.”

Harry shook his head. “Other people try to change the circumstances of their births…”

“Harry, maybe if you tell us…” Erin’s voice was soft and cajoling, but Harry cut her off.

“No! Erin…talking isn’t going to make any of this better. I don’t want it anymore. You don’t understand. I'm not just a wizard, I'm a means to an end, and I'm not strong enough to journey to that end.”

He looked at Severus and shook his head slightly. His eyes looked suspiciously bright. “You're right Professor. You’ve always been right. I'm not brave, I'm just plain stupid. You’ve told me often enough, and its finally gotten through.

“Look at all the fool stunts I've pulled. And last June, I pulled one too many. I tried to be the hero again, and I got Sirius killed.”

Erin drew in a shocked breath and Harry looked at her. “I'm not the nice kid that you seem to think I am, Erin. I’m responsible for my godfather’s death.”

“Stop being so melodramatic Po…”

“Why are you arguing with me? I know you think I'm responsible. I've been blaming you, but all along I knew it was me. I'm a kid. I shouldn’t have even thought of leaving school, but I did and I dragged five of my friends into mortal peril with me.” Severus’s brows drew together and he watched as fear overtook the boy’s expression.

“And now I've learned that it has to be me who kills him, and I can't do it,” Harry choked.

He sank down so that he was sitting on the floor with his knees drawn right up. He put his elbows on his knees, bowed his head and grabbed hold of two hanks of hair. He was a pitiful sight and Severus couldn’t believe how cowed Harry looked and how much the sight was affecting him. He had always thought he would rejoice to see the boy brought down a peg or two, but this total loss of bluster was shocking.

Potter had really given up. There was not one ounce of false bravado in him. He would never shown this sort of weakness in all the time Severus had known him. He could feel Erin’s distress and he knew if he looked at her, there would be tears in her eyes.

Severus knew that Harry was referring to the prophecy…the prophecy that the Dark Lord had tried to seize from the Department of Mysteries. The prophecy that he, Severus, had heard part of all those years ago and raced to tell his Lord, bringing about the devastating consequences that had changed the course of wizarding history, and lost this boy his parents.

Severus forced his thoughts away from these memories. It was old history, and he would never forgive himself for being the cause of Lily’s…and yes, if he was honest, James Potter’s deaths. And now Lily’s son was going through some kind of terrible, internal struggle, and once upon a time he would have been vindictively pleased to see it. But Erin Hanson had obviously softened his brain because right now he took no pleasure in the sight of the suffering Gryffindor.

Not for the first time, Severus lamented the fact that the Dark Lord had not trusted any with the plans but those who had carried out the raid on the Ministry. If he had only known, he and Albus would have been able to come up with a plan to stop the boy from responding to the Dark Lord’s mental machinations.

“Pot…Harry, the one responsible for Black’s death is…”

“Don’t try to make me feel better, Professor Snape. I know you think I’m an unthinking, idiotic little turd. You’ve told me so often enough. You know Sirius wouldn’t have been where Voldemort could get to him if it wasn’t for me.”

“Black would not blame you,” stated Severus a little desperately. He didn’t like Potter throwing his remarks back in his face.

“How do you know? Sirius won’t be doing anything, ever again. And that’s my fault.”

“Potter, if the circumstances had been reversed, do you think for a moment that Black would not have come to your rescue?”

“I know he would have. The difference there is that Sirius was a fully trained and talented wizard. And even at school, he never did anything as stupid as what I did.”

“No,” said Severus bitterly. “He never unknowingly put anyone’s life in danger. He deliberately put people’s lives in danger.”

Harry scrambled to his feet and glared at Severus, while Erin just stared at him, confused. “I don’t want to talk about Sirius and your mutual hatred and history,” yelled Harry. “None of it matters anymore.” He now lowered his voice again and his next words came out as a threat. “You can't keep me here forever. And when Dumbledore finally deigns to set me free—he can't keep me here for ever—I'm leaving and that’s the end of it.” He stalked towards the door, but Severus grabbed his arm as he tried to pass.

“It most certainly is not the end of it, you foolish boy! What exactly are you planning to do with the rest of your life,” he yelled.

“Why would you even care?” Harry yelled back, trying to wrench his arm out of the iron grip. “Isn’t this what you’ve wanted ever since I started at Hogwarts? You’ve threatened me with expulsion practically daily since I first entered the castle. What…you wanted to be the one to send me on my way? Well, I'm sorry, but hey, this has to be almost as good, doesn’t it.”

Erin now stepped in because the look on Severus’s face was frightening. She took Harry’s other arm, but her grip was gentle, calming. “Harry…Harry think about what you’re saying. What on earth are you going to do if you don’t go back to Hogwarts? And where will you go?”

Harry stopped struggling against Severus’s hold and it loosened accordingly. But Harry no longer tried to escape. He swallowed and looked at Erin beseechingly. All of a sudden, he looked very unsure of himself. “I hoped…I thought that you would maybe take me to Australia with you.” The words cam out in a rush.

Erin and Severus both looked at him, stunned. Harry hurried back into speech. “I don’t mean that I want to live with you and your mum and dad or anything. I just want to go with you. I’ll have money. My parents left me heaps. I just have to transfer it into pounds…” He was talking very fast, almost babbling.

“I can get a flat, and then I’ll look for a job.”

“Harry…” began Erin weakly. “I…I…”

“She’s not going to Australia, Potter,” barked Severus. “Miss Hanson is staying at Hogwarts. She’ll be teaching Muggle Studies this coming year.”

Erin’s head whipped around so fast, Severus heard an ominous click as the vertebrae in her neck objected to being wrenched so violently. Harry was staring at him with his mouth open. The three of them were standing together in a tight little group. Severus towered over the other two.

Severus met Erin's shocked gaze…his eyes beseeched her not to argue with him…told her that he would talk to her later. But Harry intercepted the look. He yanked his arm downwards and Severus’s slackened hand fell away. Harry stepped back a couple of paces.

“Do you know anything about this?” Harry asked Erin, a little more aggressively than he had intended. Erin’s lips parted but she couldn’t think of anything to say, not in the face of Severus’s silent plea.

Harry turned to Severus. “Since when has a Muggle ever taught at Hogwarts?” he asked scathingly.

“I don’t know, Potter. I am not fully conversant with the history of the teaching staff at Hogwarts.”

“Meaning that you’ve never heard of a Muggle teaching there.”

“No,” agreed Severus. I have not. But…” Severus’s voice faded. He really didn’t know what else he could say. He had had a similar reaction to Potter’s when Albus had put the idea to him down in the dungeons yesterday.

The idea had been abhorrent to him then because he knew it would be torture to have to interact with Erin as a staff member, feeling for her the way he did, and sure she did not share his feelings. Now of course, he thought it was the most brilliant idea. Erin would be near at hand, and she would be safe within Hogwart’s wards.

Harry was shaking his head. His eyes were fixed on Erin’s face. “Are you going to do this?”

Erin looked into the beautiful green eyes and was upset to see something that looked very like disappointment. She could feel Severus’s hot gaze on her as well.

“I…I haven’t made up my mind just yet,” she said wretchedly, feeling immensely torn.

Harry stared at her and she knew her face was colouring furiously. Harry nodded his head several times. Then he turned away and crossed the room on stiff legs. He leaned against the wall beside the window and gazed down into the front garden.

“Well,” he said. “I don’t suppose it matters. Strange though,” he said contemplatively. “One inhabitant of Privet Drive leaves Hogwarts and another enters.”

“There will be no more of this non…” began Severus, but Harry interrupted him.

“I’m not going back to school! There’s no law that says I have to complete my wizarding education.”

He looked at Snape with total determination blazing in his eyes. Severus was at a loss and he didn’t like the feeling of being out manoeuvred by a student one little bit. It would certainly be possible to lock the boy in the castle, even make him sit in on classes, but he could not be forced to participate. In the frame of mind he was in, he wouldn’t even care about detentions and house point losses.

He would explain to his friends that this was not his fault, that he was being forced to be here and that if the powers that be let him go, then the point losses would stop. Not all Gryffindors would be happy, but Potter had some very good friends who would back him to the hilt. And really, in the frame of mind the boy was in, house points would not even register on his list of things to worry about.

A feeble light went on in Severus’s mind.

“What about your friends, Potter? How are you going to leave them behind?”

This was the point when the boy looked absolutely devastated. Severus knew that losing Granger and the Weasleys would be on a par with having lost his parents and Black. But if he thought his argument would hold any sway, he was mistaken. Potter was resolute.

“It’s for them that I’m doing this. They won’t be in danger if I’m not around. And Ron and Hermione will still have each other.

“You’re underage,” offered Severus, but with the air of a man who knew he had played his last hand.

Harry shrugged again but he looked totally miserable for someone who held the winning hand.

“Very well Potter. You’ve won this round.” He spun about, to leave the room. Erin moved forward and sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes still fixed on Harry’s pale face.

“Let’s see what Professor Dumbledore has to say,” said Severus and he swept from the room leaving Harry and Erin gazing at each other.

“Oh, Harry…” Erin said hopelessly.

Harry sighed and turned back to the window. “The sorting hat shouldn’t have listened to me,” he said half to himself, confusing Erin no end. “I don’t belong in Gryffindor. I’m definitely Slytherin material. I’m a coward who is only interested in looking out for himself, and the rest of the world can go to hell in a hand basket.”