To say Severus Snape was livid would have been the supreme understatement of the year.

The night sky was clear, perfect for moonlight brewing. But Severus was not availing himself to the beneficial qualities of the lunar cycle. He was not even outside. In fact, Severus was firmly ensconced inside a building. And not just any building, mind you. No, Severus was in a Muggle building, and more specifically, the very last Muggle building he ever, ever wanted or expected to find himself in.

Number Four Privet Drive.

If Severus hadn't already been dangerously close to murder, the Dursely's would have put him there within minutes.

"NO! I WON'T HAVE IT, DAMNIT! " was the first thing that he heard as he Apparated in what was certainly the main hall, followed by thunderous footfalls on the stairs facing him.

After a full minute of staring at the very red-faced being that had practically fallen down the last few stairs in its hurry to vent its anger, Severus finally decided that it, the thing, was a man. A very large man.

With a flick of his wrist, the blob, er, man became a very angry immobilzed being. He was nearly blue in the face now. Severus shook his head. Stupid Muggle. "I immobilized you because I preferred not to be knocked over in a manner reminiscent of a freight train. I did not, however, render you incapable of breathing," he sneered.

The huge blue faced man erupted. "HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU FREAKS JUST POP IN HERE AND DO YOUR FREAKY UNNATURALNESS ON ME IN MY HOUSE! I WON'T HAVE IT!!! I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU JUST LIKE I SHOWED THE BOY YOU DAMN FREAKS COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELVES. DROP HIM ON MY DOORSTEP, WILL YOU! WELL I MADE SURE THE DAMN WHELP KNEW EXACTLY HOW I FELT ABOUT IT. AND IF HE FORGOT EVERYTIME HE WENT OFF TO THE FREAK SCHOOL OF HIS, I MADE SURE HE'LL REMEMBER IT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!" An evil smile crossed the man's face. Severus was vaguely stunned. Besides the disturbing things he was hearing, he did not think it possible for an immobilized person to be able to shout that loud, especially not a Muggle.

The being's next words brought him forcefully from his musings. "Or at least for the rest of the night." He gave a low, disturbed chuckle. "If he lasts that long."

"What do you mean, Muggle?"

But Severus got no response, for Vernon Dursley continued to cackle madly, which, for all intents and purposes, he was.

Fuming, Severus marched past the disturbing pile of waste and went off in search of the other two occupants of the house.

Of course, once he was on the stairs, the Muggle's manic laughter following him still, the thought of using Imperio on the fool was beginning to appeal to him. He would very much like to vent some of his anger on the form below him that was suddenly very quiet. He was certain that under those many layers of flabby skin there were enough nerve endings for him to feel sufficient pain.

A vein pulsed in his temple. Severus paused on the stairs and tried to steady his breathing. It would do him no good to lose control and kill them all.

‘Occlumency’, he thought shortly. ‘Clear your mind.’

The dark haired man breathed deeply. In through his nose, large and protruding that it was, hold, and out through his mouth. After a few minutes he felt considerably calmer, and continued upstairs, grateful for the silence hat pervaded around him.

“You should hurry, O Great Wizard,” came a high-pitched sickeningly sweet voice from the floor below. “Your magic won’t be able to bring him back from the dead.”

With carefully measured steps, he returned to Vernon Dursely’s side. Jabbing his wand into the side of his massive head with what he knew to be far too much force, he utilized his silkiest whisper. “Just what do you mean, Muggle?”

Completely ignoring the shiny bit of wood causing the beginnings of a small circular bruise on the side of his head, Vernon turned large, innocent looking eyes to the angry wizard. “Oh, nothing, sir. Except that if my tender care of my dear, dear nephew left anything to be desired in the way of mortal peril, I’m sure the nice freak in the expensive Muggle suit will take care of that.”

A vein pulsed in his temple. Vernon Dursely was quickly climbing the ranks of his list of people he hated the most. He imagined that he had already surpassed Sirius Black in place number four, and that was a difficult feat.

He studied the sickeningly flabby face before him. “Muggle, I promise you, if that child comes to any harm – “

Dursely’s harsh, cold laughter cut him off. “Well then, you better dish out whatever you were going to say, you slimy bastard. The boy’s had more than harm come his way, I can tell you.”

And just like that, Vernon was up to number two. With narrowed eyes and a scarily steady hand, Severus whispered ‘Legimens,’ and none-too-gently entered the Muggle’s mind.

Ten minutes later, a livid, white faced potions master stood over an entirely too smug looking Vernon Dursley. He had disposed of his wand, deep within the confines of his inner vest pocket, and was standing stock still, the only movement on his frame was the pulsing vein right above his left eye. It was taking every bit of his self control not to jump the Muggle and pound him into a quivering heap, and his Occlumency shields were completely non-existent in his rage.

The simple fact of the matter was that Lord Voldemort, Dark Lord and Heir of Slytherin, was, and always had been, the least of Harry Potter’s worries. He had always had, even before he started Hogwarts, his very own murderous nemesis, in the form of his huge uncle.

It seemed that the boy’s extraordinary ability to cheat death extended even into the Muggle world.

At that moment, the part of Severus Snape that was kept buried deep within showed itself. In a movement so quick it was a blur, his wand was drawn. “You sniveling piece of – “ He stood, wand hand shaking. Through the screen of red only one word was clear enough for him to speak. “Crucio.”

“No!” The high pitched shriek was followed by a thin, pointy woman, who threw herself on top of her screaming husband in an attempt to block the curse.

When Severus finally realized who the pinched-face woman was, his already thin reserves crumbled.

“YOU!” He grabbed the woman up by one stringy arm, pulling her to him and away from the blob she had married. “How could you! He was a child. A CHILD! How could you treat him so horribly in front of your own son?”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” She swung her bony hand around to connect sharply with Snape’s face. “We didn’t want the little vermin. We TOLD that damn old man to take him somewhere else. He ignored us for months.” Petunia was beside herself. How dare this man come into her home and hurt her Vernon? And he had the audacity to touch her. She swung at his face again. The damn man wouldn’t let go. “Get your freaky hands off me!”

Severus Snape did not hit women. No matter if a woman was a screeching, shrieking, screaming thing that was all elbows and was hitting him, he would not hit a woman. He did however march her over and sit her quite forcefully on the bottom stair. With his wand pointed firmly between her eyes he commanded “Stay.” After standing for a moment to make sure she would obey (and to get himself under control lest he curse them both into a mental institution) he turned his attention back to ……. Vernon.

His scariest sneer was painted across his face when he spun around, his cape fanning out behind him. The stupid Muggle wasn’t so cheery now, not since that touch of the Cruciatus. He tried not to kick the blob. He really did. But everytime he blinked he saw the massive man throwing a small, dark-haired little boy into the cupboard under the stairs, and when he refused to blink he had a complete eyeful of the second man he wanted to kill with his bare hands. Eventually, the urge became too much.

He ignored the shout of pain, and the accompanying whimper of outraged helplessness in favor of getting right into the red, sweaty full moon face of his best friend’s sister’s husband. “Who took the boy?”

He was immensely satisfied by the way the man seemed to shrink before him, still quivering. “I d-don’t know ‘is n-name.”

Snape scowled. There had to be something he had missed. “Legimens.”

‘A blonde man, leaning over the gate, greeting cheerfully, thin stick twirling carelessly between his fingers, easy smile, steel grey eyes, holding out a pouch….’

With a roar of fury, Severus Snape shot out of the small Muggle dwelling and out into the quiet front yard. Cursing the Dursely’s to hell and beyond, he spun on his heel, and was gone with a ‘pop’.