“My lessons continued two to three times a week.  Your mother and I would go out driving for an hour or two each time.  Normally you were down for your nap.  Lupin was at the house in case anything happened.  We went from driving around the neighborhood to most of our way through town, even a bit of time on the motorways.  Those were never my favorite.  We never had a destination in mind, just to spend time with me behind the wheel.  We practiced most of the summer.  I could probably have taken the test earlier, but I wanted to be more confident before I did.  In truth, I enjoyed the time alone with your mother free of competition for her attentions.”  Severus explained.

“In the car, I was the only one there.  We spent many hours talking about everything and nothing.  It was better than the letters I got at Hogwarts because she was right there.  We often talked about how we thought our lives would have gone very differently.  Lily never thought she would be a widow before she was 25, let alone 23.  I never saw myself as a teacher.  Many things were different than we expected when we left Hogwarts.”  Severus said thoughtfully.

“Is that a good thing?” Harry asked.

“In some ways,” Severus said pensively. “If things had gone differently you would have been raised by James and your mother.  You and I most likely wouldn’t have met until you came to Hogwarts.  I don’t know how I would have treated you then.”

“Why would you treated me different if James lived?”  Harry asked confused.

Severus paused.  This could be dangerous ground.  “You have no doubt been told stories about my relationship with James while we were at school.”  Harry nodded.

“I have no doubt that I would have inflicted my resentment of James on you in that case.  I would have been a very different person.  I was a very different person when your mother was out of my life.  I was sad and mean.  I hated the world and wanted everybody to be as miserable as I was.”  Severus explained.

“So if James didn’t die you’d still be that person?” Harry asked sadly.

“Most likely,” Severus confirmed.

“If things went differently Mum and me could have died too.” Harry said after a moment.

“Indeed,” Severus agreed.

“Dad?” Harry asked nervously.

“What is it Harry?” Severus replied slightly confused by the boy’s sudden unease.

“If Mum and James had both died where would I have gone?”  Harry asked.

“To your godfather.  You know that.  If anything were to happen to your mother and I now that is where you would go.  Why do you ask?”  Severus inquired.

“Well, you said things would have been different.  I just wondered if that would have changed too.”  Harry explained.

“I see.  Where else might you have gone in this hypothetical past?”  Severus asked.

Harry shrugged.  “I don’t know…Aunt Tuney’s.”

Severus pursed his lips.  “Over my dead body, you would have.  I can’t imagine what sort of abominable kind of treatment she would have inflicted on you if unchecked.”

Harry took in his father’s obvious displeasure at the mention of his aunt and had to ask, “If you don’t like Aunt Tuney so much how come you always come with us to Dud’s birthday and Christmas?”

“I would not leave my family undefended from her vicious barbs.  Now we digress.  I believe I was telling you of my driving lessons.”  Severus said doing his best to reign in his frustration.

“Yeah,” Harry confirmed.

“Now, your mother and I spent much of the summer practicing driving.  I am sure you have heard the tale of my first driving exam already.” Severus paused.

“How you failed the first time ‘cause you were too careful going through a stop light,” Harry agreed.

“Bloody wolf,” Severus grumbled.  “Yes, so I suppose there is little need to rehash that little tidbit of my life.  Along with talking about all manner of things of no consequence you mother and I did talk about things of import to her.  It was on one of our drives she requested I attend your birthday party.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Sev,” Lily asked from her place in the front passenger seat.

“Yes,” Severus replied, taking the next right toward the market.  His practice time being used practically, for once.  Lily was even confident enough in his driving abilities to bring Harry with them.

“I haven’t even asked a question yet,” Lily objected.

Severus frowned at her joke.  “What do you desire Lily?  You know there is very little I can refuse you.”

Lily bit her lip.  “I know.  This just might be one of them.”

Severus pulled into a parking spot near the store.  He gave his friend a piercing look.  “I very much doubt it.”

Lily looked no more reassured.

“What is it?” Severus demanded softly.

“You know Harry’s birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks.” Lily said as they climbed out.  

Severus nodded.  In truth he had forgotten.  How he could forget the boy’s birthday when it was such an important part of the prophesy that damned them both was beyond Severus.

“I was hoping you would come to Harry’s birthday party.” Lily said hopefully pulling the mentioned child from his seat.  

“Is that the best idea?”  Severus asked uncertainly.  He grabbed a shopping trolley.

Lily slipped Harry into the seat.  “Why wouldn’t it be?” Lily as they made their way into the store.

“Why wouldn’t it be?  Let us look at the last time I attended a child’s party.  It was only a month ago.  I nearly cursed half a dozen Muggles.”  Severus reminded her.

“That was Tuney, Sev.  She won’t he there this time.” Lily told him.

“Oh, then who will be?  Lupin? Black?  Yes, I’m sure they’ll be so much more welcoming to my presence than Petunia.”  Severus mocked.

“You and Remus are friends now,” Lily corrected sadly.  She didn’t think this was going to be such an ordeal.  

“We tolerate one another,” Severus conceded.  “That is outside of Black’s company.  What the wolf does when… Black is there I do not know.”

“Stop Severus,” Lily snapped.  “Stop talking about Remus like that.  You two are friends.  Why you can’t admit that I don’t know.  Yes, Sirius doesn’t like you much.”

Severus scoffed. “Understatement of the century if ever I heard one.”

Lily’s face darkened further in annoyance.  “Things between you are never going to get better if you won’t let go of school boy grudges.”

“It’s not…”Severus began.

“It’s not you?  Really?  Then who’s the one accusing Remus of being a blind follower?  Do you know how much crap Sirius has given him for taking your healing potions?  Sirius would rather see his best friend suffer than trust you.  If you’re going to be an ass be one about Sirius, but leave your friend Remus out of it.”  Lily snapped before storming down the small store’s main aisle.

Severus stood there dumbfounded.  He looked at the boy in the trolley.  “I believe I made a mistake with your mother, Mr. Potter.”  

“Uh oh,” Harry said with cheery grin.  

“Uh oh indeed,” agreed Severus.  The man sighed.  He had never expected Lupin would suffer because of the aid he provided.  Black’s attitude toward him was wholly expected, but still Severus didn’t think Black would try and convince his friend it was better to suffer than take aid, especially when it was freely given.  Severus wondered what Black’s motive was, though he had a leading hypothesis.  Severus dismissed the concern and caught up with Lily in front of a display of canned beans.

“Lily, I apologize for my…attitude toward your request.  You are correct, my attitude was… immature.  There are better ways to express my discomfort with a situation.  I do not want to be the source of yet another disruption at your family celebrations.  I have caused some sort of disturbance at Christmas, your birthday, and at Petunia’s.  Why would you want to invite more trouble?” Severus asked softly.

Lily could feel his apology was sincere.  There was a note of self-doubt in his question that took her off-guard.  Severus was one of the most self-assured people she’d ever known.  He didn't care what other people said about his House yet he was always seeking teacher’s approval.  

Lily stopped.  It was all a front.  All that presumed self-confidence was covering for self-doubt.  Severus’ desire to join the Death Eaters, the constant attacks on his presence.  No wonder he didn’t want to come.

“Oh Sev,” Lily said launching herself onto him and pulling him into a tight embrace.

“Lily,” Severus said uncertainly after a moment.  Not that he minded the attention, but it would be nice to know what he had done to earn it.

“Sev,” Lily said again her voice full of tears.

“That is my name.” Severus joked.

Lily chuckled.  “I want you there because you’re my friend.  I don’t care what anybody says.  You are my friend and that’s all that matters to me.  If somebody has anything to say about your company, let them talk to me.”

“I can defend myself,” Severus protested.

“You shouldn’t have to Sev,” Lily protested.  “If Sirius wants to say something about it he’ll find himself on his way out.  I don’t need him deciding who I can and cannot be friends with.”

Severus gave his friend an appraising look.  “Very well.  I believe we should more on, lest we be accused of loitering.”

“Biscuits,” Harry reminded them helpfully.

Lily chuckled again.  Her smaller hand coming to lay over top of Severus’ as they guided the trolley down the aisle.  Her fingers interlocked with his somewhere along the way.  It was one of the most natural feelings in the world in Severus’ opinion.  The three made their way around the store this way.  

Harry did his best to make the routine trip more aggravating than Severus ever thought possibly.  The boy would occasionally try grab random items off the shelves.  With a practiced hand Lily returned almost all to their rightful places.  At checkout they tried to distract Harry by asking him to hold Lily’s bag with little success.  When that failed Severus tried to have him help unload the cart to be rung up.  That worked marginally better, until Harry tried to climb the side of the cart.  It was only the quick eye of person behind them in the queue that kept the trolley on all four wheels.

They headed back to Lily’s 20 minutes later in agreement that Severus attended, but would arrive late so Lily could speak with the other guests.  This way he could attend without Lily seeing her best friend attacked when she asked him to be there.  If anybody didn’t want to see him, they could leave after the warning.  Lily felt horrible that Severus felt that such measures needed to be taken, but if it would prevent a fight and put Severus’ mind at ease it would be worth it.

By the time Severus arrived at the party Lily was very glad they’d made their agreement.  She’d already asked two people to leave.  Or they chose to leave when Lily gave them the choice of shutting up or leaving.  Lily never realized just how unpopular Severus was with her friends.  Then again, his name had been in the papers the last several days in connection with the last round of Death Eater trials.  Even so, she would have thought the fact not only she, but Dumbledore vouched for Severus would be enough.  Apparently not, at least for some.  It saddened Lily, but if they couldn’t be civil about or to her best friend did she really need those people in her life?

“Hi,” Lily greeted Severus at the front door.

“I take it is safe for me to enter.”  Severus said by way of greeting.

“Get in here,” Lily said tugging the wizard by the wrist.

Severus followed her in, a large purple wrapped box tucked under his arm.

“Come on, everybody is in the garden.”  Lily said heading down the hall.

Severus followed somewhat reluctantly.  “Lily?” he asked.

Lily stopped hearing the unease in his voice.  “It’s fine, Sev.  Tuney isn’t here.  Nobody will say anything to you.  I promise.  I talked to Sirius, three times about it.  He knows not to say anything to you.  Everything will be fine.”

Severus looked only marginally reassured.  “Where do I put this?”  He asked awkwardly gesturing to the box.

“There’s a table outside.  You didn’t have to get Harry anything, you know.  You spoil him already.  You’ve gotten him more books and things than Sirius.”  Lily told him as they exited into the kitchen.

“I find that hard to believe,” Severus said disbelievingly.

“Okay, maybe not that many, but still so many gifts.  I’m scared he’ll turn into a spoiled brat.  I don’t want him to be like Petunia’s son.” Lily told him honestly.

“You would never let that happen.  You give Harry limits.  From the little I saw of Petunia’s horror he believes he is the center of the universe.”

“He’s two, Sev.  They all think they’re the center of the universe,” Lily countered.  

“That may be, but don’t see her doing anything to stop it even past when that is socially acceptable.  I very much doubt he’s ever been told “no” in his short existence.  He is the one runs that home, not his parents.  They let him, willingly.  You do no such thing with Harry.  As long as you continue to do what you are doing you’ll be fine.” Severus confided.

“Keep doing what?” Remus as the two entered the garden.  “Hello, Severus.”

“Lupin,” Severus returned.  “Lily was voicing her concern Harry will be a spoiled brat.”

Remus shook his head.  “As long as you keep Sirius in check you’ll be fine.  I had to convince him that getting Harry a  racing broom wasn’t the best idea.  Nor was the set of ‘living miniature dragons’.  He doesn’t get why they weren’t appropriate for a child Harry’s age…or he doesn’t care…I’m not sure.”

Severus hummed in agreement.  “Yes, well the shop attendant told me my gift was also too advance for a child Harry’s age, but she was a dunderhead.”

“Sev,” Lily scolded.  “They’re trained to find things that are appropriate for kids of what age you told them.”

“I never said I wanted something for a child of Harry’s age.  I asked for something specific.  I knew very well he would grow into it.”  Severus defended.

“Something for him to grow into?  You didn’t get him a toy cauldron did you?”  Remus asked thoughtfully.

“What of it?”  Severus demanded.

Remus put up his hands up.  “Nothing.  Shouldn’t have expected less from a Potions Master.”

Lily laughed at the two of them.  It was nice to see how comfortable they had gotten around each other.

“That was very considerate of you.”  Lily said.

“It was entirely for my own benefit.”  Severus corrected.  “If I have the misfortune to still be teaching when Harry attends Hogwarts I want to ensure I have at least one student I don’t have to worry about blowing the castle to bits.”

Lily and Remus both laughed at this.

“You would think that far ahead.  Let’s go get something to drink.  Let Lily get back to the rest of her guests.”  Remus said to Severus.

Severus nodded following the werewolf away from the gift table to the drinks.

“What’s your pleasure?”  Remus asked.

“There’s alcohol?” Severus asked surveying the table.

Remus shrugged.  “Yeah, Sirius’ idea, I think.  How else are adults supposed to enjoy a kids’ party?”

Several of the children were chasing each other around a ball pit.  Harry and another boy sat in the pit doing their level best to empty it of balls it seemed.  However, the balls were charmed and returned to the pit upon hitting the ground.  Several other children were climbing on soft geometric shapes.  All the play area was contained in a charmed box.

Remus followed Severus’ gaze.  “Yeah, that was a nifty find.  There are a bunch of safety charms on it.  The kids can’t really get hurt.  We need to check on them every once and a while, or when somebody is crying.”

Severus nodded unsure what to say.  “I will have the punch.”

“Good choice,” Remus said getting him a cup.

From the other side of the garden Sirius watched Snape’s movements from the time he entered the yard.  The Auror bristled at the exchange between Snape and Lily.  It was too close, to intimate.  Snape was trying to make a move on Lily.  Sirius was certain of it.  The bastard.  Her husband hadn’t been dead a year.  She was still in the mourning period.  Did Snape have no sense of decency?

“Sirius,” Remus greeted.  He had left Severus to talk with a couple of wizards about some potions related matter or other.  It was well beyond his own understanding Remus knew.

“Remus,” Sirius greeted coolly.  His eyes still on Snape.  “What were you talking to the greasy git about?”

“Severus?” Remus asked.  “Oh, nothing much.  Lily said she was worried Harry will be a brat.  We told her she’s doing a fine job.  That’s all.”

Sirius made a sound of acknowledgement.  As he did Lily rejoined Severus and his conversation.

“Look at him!” Sirius growled.

Remus followed his friend’s line of sight.  “What’s he doing?”

“He’s got his hands all over her.”  Sirius hissed.

Severus gestured toward his two original companions.  With one hand held his cup of punch, with the other he gestured about something as if to make a point.  Lily stood beside him, leaning slightly toward Severus.

“James hasn’t been gone a year and already that slimy git is trying to get into Lily’s bed.  He’s got no sense of decency.  Lily is officially mourning for a year.  A YEAR!  It’s nine months and he’s making a move.” Sirius growled.

Remus looked back to his friend.

“Sirius, he’s not doing anything,” Remus pointed out.

“What’s that?” Sirius nearly shouted.

Lily had taken Severus free hand and intertwined their fingers.  Remus groaned slightly.  It there was a less opportune moment for this to happen Remus couldn’t think of it.

“They’re holding hands, Sirius.  It’s not like he’d snogging her senseless in the middle of Diagon Alley.  Besides, she took his hand.”  Remus told his friend.

Sirius was undeterred.  “Oi,” Sirius yelled marching across the small garden.

Severus turned to see the irritated visage of Black only a foot or so away from his own.

“What is it Black? Do you have an opinion on what is the best kind of cauldron to use in making a systemic nerve potion?”  Severus asked calmly.

“No,” Sirius snapped.

“Sirius,” Remus said softly.  He gently placed a restraining hand on his friend’s shoulder.  Sirius shrugged him off.

“Get your hands off Lily,” Sirius ordered.

Severus looked down at he and Lily’s interlocked fingers.  “And if I don’t?”

“Sirius,” Lily said softly.

“Then I’ll make you.”  Sirius snapped.

“You’re drunk Black.  Go home now and I’ll forget this embarrassing display.”  Severus said turning away from Black.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” Sirius barked.  He put a hand on Severus’ shoulder.

“Sirius! STOP THIS!” Lily commanded.

Severus stopped just short of punching Sirius in the nose.

“Sirius.  I asked Severus to come to this party.  I want him here.” Lily said very slowly and clearly.  She carefully stepped between the two wizards.  Severus had stepped back to allow her between them.

“He’s trying to…He wants… He’s gonna try and…” Sirius rambled.

“What on Earth are you on about?” Severus snapped.

“Shag.  You want to shag Lily.  James hasn’t been gone a year and you’re already putting the moves on Lily.

Everybody in the garden now had eyes on the foursome.  Even the children, although they had no idea what was going on.  Lily was fairly certain she had never been more humiliated in her life.  At least one of her guests Dis-Apperated.

“What my intentions towards Lily are none of your concern, Black.  Even if I did desire to court Lily I would wait the minimum of one year, as is custom.  Now, desist with your display before you do something you truly regret.” Severus said coolly.

“But,” Sirius said gesturing to the linked hands.

“I took his hand, Sirius.  Severus has been nothing but an upstanding gentleman,” Lily soothed.

“James wouldn’t,” Sirius almost sobbed.

“James isn’t here.”  Lily said more firmly.  “Nobody knows that more than me.  I miss him with every part of my being, but I’m alive, Sirius.  I have to move on.  How I do it, when I do, and with whom is my business.  If you can’t accept that maybe you should stay away for a while.”

“You’re going to?”  Sirius asked Severus, almost begging.

“Perhaps, but not before the year has passed.  No matter what Potter might have done in his youth his sacrifice deserves to be respected.  If it were not for his noble actions I would have never had had such a chance.  Fear not Black.  I will treat Lily with the utmost respect.” Severus promised.

“You’d better,” Sirius warned.

“You know Black,” Severus said after a moment, “If I didn’t know better, I would say you were jealous.”

There was almost a minute of uncomfortable silence before Sirius let out a bark of laughter.  “And have to try and fill James shoes?  Good luck!”

The tension slowly eased in the group.  The other guests had watched the exchange in a mixture of fascination and horror.  As things leveled out many left questioning where exactly and Lily and Severus’ relationship was headed.  This would soon become one of the favorite topics of the wizarding gossip mills.