Better Off Forgotten by Scorpia
Summary: Waking up in a vacant field, with no memory of his past, Harry finds himself being dragged to the house of Tobias Snape. Will Harry find his way home, or will Voldemort find him first?
Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Tobias Snape
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, General
Media Type: None
Tags: None
Takes Place: 5th summer
Warnings: Character Death, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 19998 Read: 19899 Published: 17 Jan 2009 Updated: 14 Mar 2009
Chapter 3: Naming Oneself by Scorpia

The sun was bright, that much he could tell without opening his lids. All the boy could see was whiteness behind his closed, gritty eyelids. Scrunching his eyes in discomfort, he turned his aching head to the side and tried to escape the blinding light.

It was inescapable though without moving more. The pain he felt in his back from the slightest movement stopped him from trying anything further.

Long grass shifted under him as he moved. Meanwhile, the longer strands of grass that went above his head, blocked out some of the daylight.

It was then that he noticed how wet he felt. Perhaps the morning dew had wet his clothes or a light rain shower? Although the moisture was uncomfortable, the warmth from the sun was not.

Curious but also tired, he managed to turn on his stomach and cradle his pounding head with his hands.

He fought half heartedly against sleep, the need to discover where he was--and who he was almost unbearable. But it overwhelmed him, and he let himself doze off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something warm and wet was running over the back of his collar. Little puffs of heated air lifted the hair on his neck. The panting and sniffing sounds made his eyebrows crinkle.

The confusion in his sleepy head aimed itself toward the creature that found him.

Something with padded feet pushed, at his cheek with its paw. The boy gathered that the creature was either feeling playful--or wondering if he was edible.

He stayed still fearfully. Perhaps he wouldn’t seem so appetizing if he pretended to be dead. He could only hope that this creature didn’t like its food dead.

Just as the wait was beginning to ware on his nerves, the animal did something that shocked him. It howled.

Surprise made the boy jump lightly. A suspicion as to just what kind of animal it was made him open his eyes warily.

The boy couldn’t begin to describe how silly he felt at seeing the dangerous animal. He’d thought he was going to be eaten--by a sheepdog.

Be afraid, be very afraid, he thought sarcastically.

Said dog was now howling his misery to the world. The only reason for this curious action that the boy could think of, was that the dog thought he was dead. He found himself smiling at the mourning dog.

It was a shaggy mess. White and gray fur was bland looking from rolling in dirt and other doggy habits. Carefully, watching the dog the entire time, he sat up.

The dog seemed to start in surprise. The boy smiled as the dog barked happily and licked his face.

“Yuck,” the nameless boy said with a small laugh. The sheepdog didn’t seem offended and nudged the boy with his wet nose. Pushing the dog away; he placed his hands back on the ground. It was then that he felt the material under his palm.

It was soft, blue, and possibly velvet. Curious and hopeful, he pulled it open but sadly there was nothing inside to help him understand. He still had no idea where he was or how he had came to be here.

The shaggy dog backed away a couple of steps as the boy tried to stand. His wounded leg made itself known. He couldn’t hold in a gasp as pain surged up his thigh. Stumbling a step, he fell down.

The dog cocked his head to the side worriedly.

It was useless to try and look reassuring, the pain had him concerned--especially since he had not even known he was injured! Sitting down, he examined the leg injury.

It was hard to tell because of the smeared blood, and the trousers that were covering the limb. But from what he could make out, it looked like something had bitten him.

One thing was for sure, he was not going to get very far walking.

“I hope your home is near,” he told the dog. “I don’t know where my home is,” he continued to himself.

Where was his home? How did he come to be here and why could he not remember anything about himself? He didn’t remember anything that could be considered personal.

How old he was, his favorite color, what his family was like, or where he lived. I don’t even know my name, he realized with faint horror.

Probably sensing his discomfort, the friendly sheepdog put a muddy paw on the boy’s chest. The clothes were already filthy and torn, so the boy figured the added mud didn’t matter much.

He was about to speak to the dog; when a man’s voice disrupted him.

“You! What’re you doing on my property boy?”

He jumped, he couldn’t help it. The gruff voice was stern and accusing. Looking up, his eyes found the tall man that was making his way towards him.

The man looked intimidating as he stalked toward the kneeling boy. Swallowing nervously, the boy tried to stand; not wanting to confront the man when sitting on the ground.

Forgetting that he had just decided not to stand because of his first failed attempt, the boy once again fell over. This time the ground rushed up to meet him and only his hands kept his nose from being smashed.

The corner of his glasses still hit the ground and his temple hit the ground as well. A terrible crack made the boy wince. He didn’t know if it was the glasses that had cracked, or if he just injured his leg more.

Before he could get up and see, strong hands turned him over onto his back. A yet suspicious face looked down at him.

“Hi,” the boy said stupidly. The man frowned and his gaze went toward the the boy’s temple.

“How hard did you hit your head boy?” the man asked gruffly.

The boy frowned, was the man concerned or was he being mocked? Not waiting for an answer, the older man lifted him off the ground. His bad leg tried to give out, but with someone to support him he managed to stand.

“What did you do to my dog?” the man said angrily as dark eyes examined the wounded leg.

“Wh--what?”

“Fendi bit you, right? He would only do that to someone causing him harm.”

“Fendi?” the boy asked slowly looking at the messy dog that was staring at them. He wasn’t sure If the name fit, but the dog wasn’t complaining.

“Yes,” the man snapped, “that’s his name, don’t wear it out!”

Staring in anxious surprise, the boy watched as the man looked around with narrowed eyes. “Just where did you come from? I’ve never seen you--you aren’t her dunderhead are you?”

Gaping slightly, the boy stuttered. “I--I--what are you talking about?”

“Never mind,” the man muttered with a shake of his head. The man lifted him up, and kept him standing by grasping his arm firmly.

“You look like you’ve been in out here for a while. You’re clothes are wet, brilliant way to catch a cold.” The man seemed disapproving.

The boy looked at himself. He did make quite the sight. His face felt bruised, he was sure his lip was swollen, broken glasses, torn clothes. Feeling slightly ashamed and very confused about how he got in this condition, he looked up.

The man had dark hair that was speckled with grey from age. A bristled beard added to the lone wolf look, and he was staring.

“You can come to my house, or go your own way. I can get that leg looked at, then you can tell me what you were doing out here. Or…if you leave now I won’t be held responsible if you fall over dead in the woods somewhere.”

Gulping, the boy nodded. “I would like to get my leg looked at, please.”

“Very well.”

Now, the boy just hoped he could remember what he was doing here by the time the man asked again. It was doubtful that this man would accept ‘I don’t know,’ for an answer.

It was hard to see out of his left eye since a crack ran through the lens, but he managed to catch the dog walking happily beside them.

“So,” he said hesitantly. “Why did you name the dog Fendi?”

The man seemed to relax a little at the question, and he glanced at the sheepdog.

“It was either going to be Fendi, of Mr. Fluffypants,” the man said dryly. “What’s your name boy?” he continued, as he helped the boy limp across the rolling valley.

It was extremely grassy. Wildflowers grew in random, and two or three trees created shaded spots.

On both sides of the wide valley was a forest. He couldn’t see far into it because of the darkness the trees of the forest created.

The boy turned back to the man as he tried to find an acceptable answer.

“Er…I don’t--don’t actually know sir,” he said.

The man didn’t stop walking from surprise, or look at he boy in disbelief. Instead he made a thinking sound and stared straight ahead, his expression neutral.

“Tobias Snape, but that’s Mr. Snape to you. I refuse to keep calling you boy; so I’ll just have to give you a name won’t I?” Tobias said with look toward the boy at his side.

“O-okay,” the boy said hesitantly.

“Let’s see, how about Marilyn?” Tobias asked seriously. The boy gaped at him in horror. He wanted a name, but not a girl name, he’d rather take Fendi’s rejected name and start calling himself Mr. Fluffypants.

“No? Well how about Pee Wee instead?” Tobias continued.

“How about a normal name Mr. Snape? Like,” he thought for a minute. “What do you think of…Jesse.” From beside them Fendi barked, the boy took it as approval.

Tobias shrugged with one arm since the other was holding the boy up. “Jesse’s a good name, don’t know what was wrong with Pee Wee though,” he murmured.

The boy, now called Jesse, laughed. Tobias seemed to fight back a grin himself which amazed Jesse.

Jesse didn’t know what made him choose his new name, could it possibly be his real name before he forgot everything?

For some reason he doubted it. But he liked the name he had chosen. Somehow it felt comfortable; like a well worn coat, and it slid off the tongue easily.

He could see people calling him Jesse, where as he would only be called Pee Wee or Marilyn in a nightmare.

Together Tobias and Jesse climbed over a hill. At the top of the rise Jesse got his first look at Tobias’s house.

It was a rather small looking, green roofed cabin. A few sparse trees provided cool shade while the front porch was bathed in the warm glow of the sun.

“That’s your house Mr. Snape?” Jesse asked as they went down the hill. Fendi ran ahead, barking the entire time. Even though Jesse hadn’t noticed the chickens before, he noticed them now as the sheepdog made them scatter with indigent squawks.

“Yes, and the only one around for many miles as well, that’s one reason I’m very curious to hear how you ended up on my land,” Tobias said.

Jesse didn’t offer any information at the time, even though Tobias glanced at him expectantly. What could he possibly say? He was lost, sort of nameless and with no clue as to how he had come to be here.

The only possession he owned was the velvet bag, and that certainly didn’t give him any clues. But, it was nice to have something, no matter how small it was.

Jesse looked around in interest, he couldn’t help but be curious and there was also the hope that something familiar might jog his memory.

The front of the house had two small windows, stairs led to the door and to a verandah that protected anyone coming out of the rain.

Tobias opened the door without using a key. But, Jesse thought looking back at the roaming chickens and massive field, out here you didn’t really need to lock the door.

The door opened up to a living room, it could have been spacious--but there were scattered books and miscellaneous products scattered around.

Jesse gathered that Tobias must live alone, it looked like no one took care of the house.

A dressing-gown, trousers and a few jumpers had been tossed uncaringly onto various objects.

Pushing Jesse inside, Tobias was shutting the door and Fendi barely managed to squeeze through before it shut with a clicking sound.

Jesse was leaning heavily on the wall to remain standing, and was very grateful when Tobias led him to a chair. “Sit here and I’ll be right back,” he instructed.

If Jesse looked away, he would not have seen the sign Tobias made to Fendi. It was a swift motion where his hand flicked toward Jesse’s direction.

The boy would have thought it unremarkable if Fendi had no reaction, but the sheepdog did have a reaction. He stopped chewing on his ragged bone, and came to sit not far from Jesse.

Jesse knew that Tobias did not fully trust him, so he was not offended by Fendi being sent to watch him--because that appeared to be what the dog was doing. He would just have to gain the man’s trust, if he had the time.

Hopefully someone would come looking for him, have a perfectly good explanation for his situation, and somehow get Jesse’s lost memories back. Tobias came back in the room, a few items held in his hands.

“I don’t know how bad you’re hurt, but this should cover it,” he said and pulled Jesse’s injured leg out to have better access to it.

Not wasting time, Tobias put two fingers on both side of the hole on Jesse’s trousers and ripped the material open. Jesse winced at seeing the wound, before he couldn’t tell how it looked, now though….

The wound looked like two long teeth had pierced his skin, liker a bite from an unknown animal. Around the teeth markings, the skin was tinted black.

“That can’t be good,” Jesse muttered. Tobias’s face was grim.

“How did this happen? It looks infected,” the man said, his eyes seemed to flash with anger.

“I don’t know sir,” Jesse said reluctantly.

Tobias stood up in one swift motion, “There seems to be a lot of things you don’t know boy.”

Jesse bowed his head, “I can’t remember anything--” he stopped as Tobias snorted.

“It’s true!” he said. “I can’t remember anything about my past. That’s why I didn’t know my name--I don’t even know what I look like!”

The sudden urge to find a mirror was irresistible. What did he look like?

He ended up tripping over Fendi who seemed to be trying to push him back in his seat.

“For the love of--!” Tobias cut himself off as he tried to catch Jesse and ended up kneeling on the floor.

“You’re depriving a village somewhere of an idiot, do you know that?” Tobias said to a sheepish Jesse.

“Sorry--do you have a handheld mirror? I--I want to see what I look like, please,” Jesse asked softly.

Tobias looked at him until he squirmed. “You really don’t remember anything about yourself?”

Jesse shook his head. “I woke up in your field, Fendi found me and woke me up.”

Tobias turned back to the leg wound. “Let me try and take care of this first, then you can have a look in the mirror.”

Jesse watched as Tobias cleaned the wound with a wet flannel, and then poured peroxide over it. Biting his lip, Jesse tried to think of happy thoughts while it felt like his leg was going to burn right off.

“You could have warned me,” he told Tobias grumpily as the pain receded slightly.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Tobias said and Jesse glared at him.

“You’re a sick man,” he muttered glumly. Tobias chuckled while wiping blood off the limb.

“I’m going to wrap this but I’m taking it off tonight, it needs to breath. Just try not to move to much,” Tobias said as he searched for a bandage in his small pile of medical supplies.

Jesse was quiet for a moment, “You’re going to let me stay here?”

Tobias looked up, his own surprise mirrored on Jesse’s face. “Of course, like I said, there’s not another house around here for miles. I’ll go ahead and call as doctor, I want him to look at that leg, but I doubt he’ll be able to come over until tomorrow.”

Nodding, Jesse looked around the house once more.

“Where else are you injured?” Tobias asked, his eyes were drawn to the bruises on Jesse’s face, but he didn’t say anything.

Jesse looked back at him. “My arm is cut,” he said. Tobias moved toward the right arm the boy indicated.

The boy looked down at his chest. Parting the torn shirt a bit, he saw a long cut there. It didn’t appear deep enough to need immediate attention.

Tobias, now done looking at Jesse’s arm, handed him the bottle of peroxide.

“I’m not going to baby you anymore than is necessary,” he said. “I’ll call the doctor and you can treat whatever other wounds you have.”

“Yes, sir,” Jesse said and Tobias moved away. Fendi tried to follow, but after seeing his master make the hand motion again, he moved back to watch Jesse.

After bathing the cuts in the cleaner, Jesse leaned back in the soft armchair and closed his eyes. He felt tired, no matter the fact that he had woken up less then three hours ago.

Jesse’s forehead throbbed. His hand crept into his trousers pocket and clenched the velvet bag that was inside.

He was almost asleep when the entrance of Tobias woke him. Sitting up, Jesse wiped his aching eyes by putting his hands under hid glasses and then looked at the man. Tobias held out a hand mirror, excitedly, Jesse took it.

His eyes were green. That was the first thing he noticed. His hair was black and at the moment extremely messy. Jesse tried raking it back down with one hand, but the rebellious hair stood back up immediately.

Jesse glared at it in the mirror.

Chuckling, Tobias took the mirror away from Jesse. “Getting mad at your own reflection isn’t healthy.”

Jesse smiled and scratched Fendi behind his ears. He then yawned so wide, that his jaw made a cracking sound.

Tobias raised an eyebrow, “Tired?”

“Yeah,” Jesse said bashfully. “Do you mind if I go to sleep here--?” Tobias was already putting an arm under Jesse’s armpit.

“I have a guestroom you can stay in. I don’t think it’s ever been used so you’ll have to ignore it’s condition,” Tobias said as he led Jesse through the house.

The guestroom was dustier than the rest of the house, and only held a bed, a bedside table and a chest of drawers. However, Jesse didn’t think he’d ever seen anything more beautiful--and perhaps he hadn’t.

He was so tired. Tobias helped him sit on the bed, “Put one of those pillows under your bad leg,” he told Jesse.

He turned to leave, “Oh, and you can wash those blankets tomorrow,” Tobias added before turning off the light.

Jesse rolled his eyes before taking his glasses off and setting them aside and then he kicked his shoes off his feet. Sitting back into the pillows; he was close to drifting off when the door creaked open.

Opening one eye, he saw Fendi jump on the bed. “Going to keep me company?” he asked the dog warmly.

The dog answered by farting. Fendi then seemingly grinned at Jesse. Muffling his laughter in one of the pillows, Jesse covered his nose with the thickest blanket.

“Brilliant,” he muttered from underneath it with a little laugh. “I get to spend my night in a small room with a gas filled sheepdog, just brilliant.”

Even so, Jesse was asleep in a matter of minutes with the sheepdog’s head laying protectively on his chest.

To be continued...
End Notes:
Harry is still Harry, but since he has amnesia and doesn’t remember his name, he had to give himself a new one. He will not always be Jesse. And if his character seems different, it probably because you’re reading Jesse instead of Harry and every second your brain is screaming “That’s wrong!” Please review, I’d love to know if you like it so far! Constructive criticism is very welcome.


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1770