Severus’ regret at not speaking to Harry that night grew exponentially as the next few weeks passed by. The time for when he had to leave on his madcap mission with Black was drawing ever closer and his son had suddenly decided to ignore him completely.

He could not comprehend it – he’d tried talking with the boy, asking him what was wrong, giving him advice on his homework and generally trying to be available and supportive in his own way but Harry, it seemed, was having none of it. Not even when Severus had given him points in class for answering a question right!

All he got out of him these days were monosyllabic – albeit polite – answers at best and complete avoidance at worst. There had even been one occasion when Harry had arrived for his nightly lines, taken out a sheet of pre-written ones and used a copy spell – which had literally peeled the sentences off one page and stuck them to the other one – before leaving again with barely a glance in Severus’ direction.

He was at his wit’s end. What had he done? What could he do now? He knew he couldn’t allow himself to become angry – that would worsen an already bad situation – yet Harry seemed to hardly notice him when he was rational and calm. He almost looked right through him on some occasions.

The oddest thing was, all the other teachers said he was performing fine in their classes. He also looked happy enough around his friends, and he did not appear to be missing ‘Shadow’ that much anymore. He only shut down around Severus. And yet his heart was still twinging slightly every now and again. What did that mean? Should he consider the pains themselves, or the decreased number of them? And which should he act on?

Severus leaned back in his desk chair and sighed.

Maybe I really am bad for him. He certainly seems cheerful enough around his friends. What should I do? Let him go? Talk to him again? I have no idea. Shouldn’t I know automatically? Shouldn’t a father already know the right and wrong way to treat his child? Well... mine didn’t. But what should I do about Harry? He just doesn’t seem to... need me anymore.

Now, that thought hurt.

But what could he do about it? Albus always seemed busy these days, tending to leading the war effort as well as running a high maintenance school like Hogwarts. And the rest of the faculty? Ha! Most of them he wouldn’t trust to find their own noses.

At least Minerva had stopped taking her disapproval of him out on Harry. That had really confused the boy, Severus could tell. It was a relief to him that she was back to treating Harry like he was just another of her Gryffindors.

Unfortunately it still didn’t solve the problem he had with Harry, and now the next challenge Severus faced was that Harry had finished his neatened two hundred lines the evening before. The boy now had no reason other than his own free will to see Severus outside of class anymore. Of course, it didn’t help that on top of this, Miss Adie appeared to have done her job a little too well. The whole school was staring and gawping at his son as though the boy would sprout wings any second! Surely Harry had to be bothered by this...

I’ll talk to him again today, Severus decided, picking up a quill to start the grading the neglected homework before him. I’ll sort this out between us before I leave. I have to. I HAVE to.

oooOOOooo

Harry flew in lazy circles above the castle, watching the sun rise above the lake. Having his broom back at long last was the most wonderfully freeing feeling he had experienced in a long time. When Snape had given it to him last night, it had been all Harry could do not to rush outside at once, but it was curfew and there was no way that he was going to risk the Firebolt being taken away the second he’d got it back.

And so he’d waited with his hands idly fidgeting in his lap for the moment when he could see the first rays of dawn start to spread across the night sky. After that he’d snatched up his Firebolt and sprinted out into the cold, Scottish air. He’d already been on his broom before he was even properly out of the huge front doors.

He sighed in bliss and did a lazy loop-the-loop, his mind nicely blank for once. He’d have to go into breakfast soon, but not yet. Not yet...

Harry hissed in exasperation as he heard someone calling his name from beneath him. It looked like he wouldn’t even be able to get just a few more moments of peace. Ron and Hermione were standing far below, waving up at him as if that would somehow get his attention more easily.

Yes, they had been fantastic these past couple of weeks – not asking him about the silence between him and Snape, and keeping the students who suddenly seemed to despise him because of his father as far away as possible from him – but Harry really wished they would leave him alone sometimes.

Pushing the broom into a steep dive – only to pull out seconds before reaching the ground – he hopped lightly onto the earth and forced a smile for them. Hermione was on him within seconds.

“Harry, where have you been? We’ve been worried sick! We couldn’t find you anywhere; your bed wasn’t slept in and there was no note! What were we supposed to think? We were just going down to check Hagrid’s as a last resort, but after that we were going to go straight to the Headmaster. You should really be more careful...”

Harry shook his head and walked past her, ignoring the hurt and concern in both of his friends’ eyes. Now that he was back on the ground, his wakeful night had caught up with him and he wanted nothing more than to go straight back to bed and curl up under the sheets. He certainly didn’t want to listen to any more of Hermione’s lecture – especially when her voice was shrill with worry.

“Sorry,” he muttered absentmindedly as he stamped up the steps and into the castle, trying to use his feet to wake up his sleepy mind. “I’m just going to get something to drink.”

He heard an exasperated sigh behind him, but his friends followed him easily enough, for which in truth he was grateful. He didn’t know what he’d do without them. A case in point was when his broom was knocked from his hands a second later by a burly Gryffindor boy in the year above. Harry thought his name was McLaggen...

“Oh, sorry, Snape, I didn’t see you there!”

Yeah, right! Harry thought silently, scowling as he bent over to retrieve his Firebolt. He also couldn’t help but notice the seventh year Ravenclaw Prefect standing nearby was noticeably paying no attention whatsoever to the scene playing out before him.

McLaggen went to shove him from behind – obviously thinking it would amusing if his prey ended up sprawling on the floor – when a particularly nasty burning hex Hermione had learnt just last week caught him across the hand.

“Don’t you dare!” she shrieked, levelling her wand at him again. Ron had done the same in the background, his ears red and his teeth grinding. “Don’t you even think about going near him or there’ll be more of the same!” She waved her wand threateningly and everyone in the vicinity stepped back.

Harry winced at the volume she’d managed. Apparently defending him from the constant, low-level bullying was taking its toll upon his friends. Snagging his broom, he stood and grabbed her sleeve.

“C’mon,” he muttered, tuning out the low jeering from the group as he steered them towards their table. Stars, he was tired. Tired of all of this; Snape, the taunting, even just being decent to his own friends. The one person he knew would understand everything without Harry having to say a word was no longer there and that made him more angry than sad these days. Couldn’t he at least keep one little bit of good in his life without it going spoiled?

Harry sat and ate his breakfast moodily, pointedly ignoring everyone who tried to engage in conversation with him. It was only when he’d finally got enough liquid in him to realise what he’d been doing – and after Hedwig had come down for a bit of attention – that he almost groaned for being such an idiot. Pushing people away wasn’t going to help his situation any.

Casting a glance at his two best friends revealed that they were in the middle of a large discussion with the others at the table... Harry sighed and decided not to disturb them. Instead he settled for petting Hedwig and reading the Daily Prophet she’d brought him. It did nothing to lighten his mood – all respectable shops in Diagon Alley deserted, various Muggles killed and mutterings that if Voldemort did something that couldn’t be explained away as a gas explosion, it could mean the exposure of their world...

Harry put the paper down and fought the urge to bury his head in his hands. How could he not feel responsible for these things? He was one of Voldemort’s main targets for a start! Not to mention the fact that most people thought he’d well and truly killed the bastard that Halloween night and, because of that, they’d been lured into a false sense of security...

Harry shook his head vigorously. Now I’m getting ridiculous! It was their own fault if they believed a mere baby could off someone like that. None of this is my fault. NONE of it. He sighed and folded the paper neatly, tucking it away in his bag for later, and after a last glance at his friends – there was no way he was going to look at the staff table behind them – he started to make his way down towards Care of Magical Creatures.

His heart lifted at the idea of being able to see Hagrid again, but he’d barely made it to the open Entrance Hall doors when the inevitable happened. It really was surprising that it hadn’t happened sooner...

“Oi, Potter!”

Harry froze and turned slowly. “Actually, it’s Snape now, Malfoy.”

oooOOOooo

It is surprising how far voices can travel in a castle. Severus had only just finished with all the marking due in for today’s lessons and therefore was late heading up to breakfast. It was then that the voices – both sharp, with their words lashing out like a kick in the gut – floated down to his ears.

“Drop the act, Potter. You don’t honestly expect me to believe this rubbish, do you? As if Snape would want you for a son.”

Severus ran.

The second voice was tainted with bitterness, but was almost eerily cold. “Oh, shut it, Malfoy! You’re only doing this because you’re sore about how he didn’t want you after your pathetic parents got themselves locked up–”

“Mr Snape!”

Harry visibly flinched as his father’s shout echoed through the Entrance Hall.

“My office, this instant!” Severus didn’t even give Harry the chance to act, but simply grabbed his upper arm and pulled him away through the halls, moving at such a pace that Harry could barely keep up with properly. Severus gritted his teeth as the sound of Malfoy’s derisive laughter dissolved away into the background, getting the distinct impression that his son was doing exactly the same.

Fortunately, they both reached his office swiftly.

Severus slammed the door behind him, let go of Harry’s arm and took several paces forward, breathing heavily as he tried to gain equilibrium. Calm, calm. Must calm down for him. Remember last time? You can’t deal with him in this state. Calm down now, that’s it.

But Harry didn’t give him a chance.

“How could you?” His son’s eyes flashed with suppressed emotions but the tone was as icy, almost as if Harry were addressing a stranger he didn’t care for. It sent chills down Severus’ spine.

The boy continued, “You – you knew it was Malfoy goading me and you did nothing to him. Again. It’s always me who gets dragged away and yelled at! Always! Well, go ahead then: yell at me, take my broom away! See if I care.”

Another burst of rage threatened to take over but Severus reined it in, taking another deep breath as he did so.

“Enough,” he enunciated carefully.

Harry flinched.

Severus took another breath. It seemed to be helping his inner balance. “Sit,” he said, pointing to a nearby chair, careful to keep his tone neutral. When Harry looked as if he were about to protest, Severus gestured more sharply. “Now.”

Harry gulped and sat, obviously trying not to give in to the apprehension in his eyes.

Severus eyed him carefully. “You will sit there for five minutes and contemplate your actions...”

That was enough to make Harry flare up again and jump out of the chair. “I’m not some little child you can just spank and send to the corner!” he snapped, his anger finally breaking through in his tone. “Bet you enjoyed that last time, didn’t you? Enjoyed me shaking whenever I made a mistake, always wondering when you were going to hit me again! Well, it’s not going to happen again! I’ll be an adult in three years and then you won’t ever see me again, you won’t...” Harry trailed off, only just seeming to realise that Severus hadn’t said a word to stop his rant, and had instead leaned against the wall, watching him coolly.

Hmm, interesting new tactic, this. I shall have to employ it more often... Severus was inwardly furious and a little hurt at the accusations Harry had flung at him, but he’d finally managed to realise that the more reaction he showed, the worse he made the situation. “Congratulations, Harry you have just gained an extra five minutes contemplation. Might I inform you that any more shows of temper will have me applying a permanent sticking charm to the seat of your robes while I go and teach my first class?”

Harry seemed to weigh whether or not he meant what he said for a moment before slowly sinking down into the waiting chair. “Finally calling me Harry now, are you?” he muttered sulkily to his lap. “And you can’t keep me here for a class period anyway. I have lessons to go to.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? As I see it, you don’t seem to have much regard for turning up to lessons. Or is it just Trelawney spouting her usual nonsense when she was saying you haven’t been to a class of hers for weeks...?”

Harry gulped again, and this time fell completely silent.

Severus sank into his desk chair and half-heartedly read through the already marked essays again to calm down. Some of them were really appalling – he had to use all of his concentration just to decipher the handwriting sometimes!

Ten minutes shuffled by, stifling and difficult, but finally Severus was able to stand up and walk over to his son. Harry didn’t look up. Severus quickly pulled another chair over and sat down so that their knees were almost touching. Harry still didn’t look up.

“Harry” – the boy tensed – “have you had sufficient time to think over your actions earlier today?”

Harry shrugged. Severus resisted the urge to raise his voice.

“Well then, if you think you have considered them enough, could you tell me what it was that prompted me to bring you down here?”

Silence. Then... “Malfoy started it!”

“That is not what I asked.”

“He was the one who was saying all those things! Calling me Potter, saying I didn’t deserve you!”

“I know, Harry, I heard.”

“Then why didn’t you drag him down here? It’s always me! Was he right? Do I not deserve to be treated like a normal human being?”

“Leave Mr Malfoy’s behaviour to me and I will deal with him at a later time...”

“Yeah! I’ll leave Malfoy to you, and you leave me to... to me!”

Harry was shaking a little, his green eyes furious. Severus almost unconsciously braced himself. “Harry...”

“It’s not even as if I need a father!” Harry’s voice was rising with every word he spoke. “I was doing absolutely fine until you came along. Oh, I’ll attend my classes, work hard, and be a good boy still, but why can’t you just leave me alone? I tried, I did! I even thought I wanted this, but I don’t! Not anymore. It’s too much – all of it. Waiting to accidently make the wrong move with no idea of how you’re going to react from one moment to the next. I’ve done my best, and it still wasn’t enough for you. This summer... it all seemed so... so great, but I’m obviously not good enough. Go back to hating me – I don’t care – just leave me be! I don’t want a father!”

Severus took a deep breath. Is it just me, or is he contradicting himself every other sentence? “Harry, you’re blowing this out of proportion.”

Harry scowled, his expression throwing the bags under his eyes into stark relief. “Oh, so you’re allowed to throw a fit but I’m not? What a brilliant example of precisely what I’m trying to leave behind.”

“Harry,” Severus said, trying not to speak any louder while remaining firm, “you have just taunted a boy who, for all intents and purposes, has lost his parents for the next twenty years! You of all people should understand how terrible it is to be in that position. Is it really so wrong of me to expect you to show a little compassion?”

“Yes! That bastard’s been out to get me since day one, and quite honestly, I’m glad that he’s been made as miserable as I am! And if that makes me a bad person, then, then...” Harry floundered and fell silent, his angry gaze returning to his lap as he did so.

What do I even begin to say to that? “As far as I can tell, you are a very good boy who is also extremely overstrung at the moment. Understand me?”

Harry bit his lip and nodded a little, his hands tightly twisted in his robes. Anger still fairly shimmered off the boy but Severus could almost sense that he had been shocked into listening.

“Everything must seem like it has happened at once for you, yes?”

Now there was a sniff to accompany the nod as the last of the anger visibly fell away. And, suddenly, Severus knew what to do. What was needed. Even if it tore him to shreds to do so.

“Well, that is completely normal” – I think – “and nothing which should concern you. If it would make you safer, more stable, then you are more than welcome to put the change in our relationship to the back of your mind.”

What?

“I am well aware that you can be more independent and capable than most people your age. I will not be troubled if you pay me no mind outside of class as long as you work hard in Potions.”

What the hell are you doing, Severus?

“Would that help, Harry? I shall always be here to listen if you wish to talk, of course, but would it help if you no longer felt pressured into furthering your filial relationship with me while you deal with other things first? Would it help if you aren’t constantly worrying about how you should react to me, or how I have reacted to you?”

Harry looked up for the first time since his outburst, his eyes glistening a little, and simply whispered, “Thank you.”

Severus was certain that his heart was breaking for the second time in his life but all he said was, “Good boy.”

They sat for another moment longer before Harry uncertainly stood up. “I- I should go...”

Severus pursed his lips a little, attempting to use his ‘disapproving teacher’ tone instead of a more paternal one. If Harry wanted a little distance, then he had to at least try and play the part. Time to treat him like he was just another Slytherin student. “And when was it that you went to bed last night, Mr Potter?”

A small smile tugged at Harry’s lips before disappearing all together. “I, uh, didn’t, Professor Snape. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I’d flown and I couldn’t do that while it was still dark...” Harry trailed off and peeked up at him from under a flop of dark brown hair.

Severus sneered, before letting his lips quirk upward slightly. “Obviously you do not have the sense you were born with. If you had, you would have asked me to monitor you doing so before you went up to your dormitory.”

Harry’s eyes lit up. “You would have let me do that?”

“Of course. Now, you will go up to the Hospital Wing, tell Madam Pomfrey what happened and see if she’ll let you catch up on sleep there this morning. I have been told she has a soft spot for you.” Severus stood and started shooing the boy out the door.

“Yes, sir!” Harry and Severus shared a brief smile before Harry slipped out of the door and up the corridor, looking as if a burden weighing down his shoulders had suddenly been lifted.

As soon as the door shut again, Severus folded into his chair and put his head in his hands.

Did I do the right thing?

I put Harry first.

But did I do the right thing?