Ron, Hermione, Ginny and, oh Merlin, Remus. His body moved forward again. They are better off without me. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly to see the picture that would push him to make the final decision. The picture that would be the last breeze Harry, the withered leaf, needed to fall from his tree; to end his life. And there it was: Sirius' shocked face when he fell through the veil. "Sirius," Harry whispered as his hands let go, and he fell forward over the edge into the abyss...

*~*

The wind blew in his face while he fell and he felt the adrenaline shoot through his veins. He screamed and panic overcame him. It was just a few seconds, but it felt like eternity. He didn't want to die any longer. What have I done? The ground came closer, and he shut his eyes so that he couldn't see the impact.

Seconds before the impact should happen Harry felt a tug that slowed his body racing toward the ground, just like it had felt when the Headmaster had slowed his fall during the Quidditch match two years ago. Harry heard a popping sound and shortly after it he hit the ground. All the air was pressed out of his lungs when he crashed down on the ground. His bones and especially his head hurt. That was not as bad as it could have ended but it still hurt a lot, Harry thought. Face down he laid on the ground and groaned. His glasses had slipped from his face and Harry searched blindly with his hands for them. His fingers brushed over a smooth surface until he found his glasses. Smooth? No grass? Harry rolled groaning on his side and placed his glasses on his nose. When he looked around, he saw that he wasn't on the Hogwarts grounds any longer. He was in a room without windows; just a door without a doorknob. Harry still tried to recover from the impact. He slowly turned onto his back. Looking around he realized that the room was completely empty. What's going on? Voldemort was the first thing what came into his mind. How had he done that? Where am I? Frantically he looked for his wand, but it wasn't there.

Suddenly the door flew open. Madam Pomfrey came running into the room closely followed by Professor Dumbledore and Professor Moody.

Harry groaned, let himself roll onto his back and shut his eyes. So not Voldemort, he thought.

"Hold still and open your eyes for me, Harry," Madam Pomfrey ordered while placing a hand on Harry's forehead.

Harry didn't open his eyes. He couldn't look at them. They know what I have done and now they will hate me for it. They will hate me for not being their hero. They will hate me for trying to run away and not accepting my fate. "I'm sorry," he said miserably.

"No, Harry. It's not the time to talk. Just let me examine you. How do you feel, Harry? Does anything hurt?"

"Everything," Harry said, defeated and closed his eyes again.

"No, Harry, please open your eyes for me", she said more gently. Harry did so and looked into the worried face of the Mediwitch.

She had her wand in the hand that wasn't on his forehead. She lit up the end of her wand and said, "Look at my ear, Harry!" She let the light fall on his left eye and moved it fast sideways and then did the same with the left eye. His pupils were reacting correctly to the change of light. A good sign, Madam Pomfrey thought. It seems he hasn't hit his head too violently. "Now follow my wand with your eyes," she ordered, glad that Harry was being cooperative.

Harry did what she ordered. Again Harry's eyes showed no sign of brain damage to Poppy's great relief.

"Very good, my boy," Poppy said encouraging. "Now I will cast a few diagnostic spells to assure that you haven't broken any bones or have any internal injuries.

Harry groaned again and closed his eyes. I hope this is over soon. Please let her give me something for the pain and let me sleep, he thought desperately.

"Please keep your eyes open, Harry!" the Mediwitch demanded.

Harry opened them and tried, at least, to turn his face away from Madam Pomfrey, that made his eyes meet the Headmaster's and Professor Moody's, both of whom stood silently against the wall. Harry groaned and quickly moved his head in the other direction. Dizziness overcame him, and he felt sick.

"Don't move too fast Harry, you have a concussion!" Poppy said, but when she realized it was already too late, she summoned a bin.

Harry felt his stomach protest and moved onto his side. Madam Pomfrey supported his head while he emptied his stomach into the bin Madam Pomfrey had quickly shoved into position.

"Shhh, its okay, Harry, try to relax," the Mediwitch said softly to Harry while he violently gagged although his stomach was already empty.

"Oh, Merlin," Harry groaned and leaned into the touch of the Mediwitch. He just wanted all this to be over because he felt so embarrassed. He couldn't look into their eyes. They must be so disappointed. A silver otter ran past Harry and vanished into Madam Pomfrey's wand. A patronus? She must have sent a message to someone, Harry mused.

Another figure came into the room. His black robes billowed around him. Harry didn't have to look up to know that it was Professor Snape.

"Of all things Potter-" Professor Snape started, but Madam Pomfrey stopped him.

"Not now, Severus! Harry has to take the potions, and then I want him in a hospital bed as soon as possible," Madam Pomfrey said and took the vials the Potions master offered her.

"I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I won't do it again," Harry said, almost crying.

The Potions master snorted and said, "Tell this someone who-"

"Like Madam Pomfrey said, now isn't the time for speaking about what happened, Harry. First we have to heal your injuries. Professor Moody and Madam Pomfrey will bring you to the hospital wing, and you will see us later," the Headmaster said to interrupt Professor Snape and guided the scowling Potions master out of the room.

Madam Pomfrey supported Harry's neck and let him drink the potions. They tasted awful, but Harry didn't care. He just wanted to run away as far as possible and hide under a stone.

Professor Moody in the meantime had come closer to Harry and conjured a stretcher. "Let's get you into the hospital wing, Harry. There Poppy can have a closer look at you, and you can finally rest," the professor said in a gentle voice Harry had never heard him use.

The words of the Professor echoed in Harry's head. A closer look! Oh, Merlin, no! She will see my arms. "No, I'm okay, really. I can just leave now." He pulled his arms to his chest and tried to stand up.

"Oh no, young man. You will just hold still and let us move you on the stretcher. You will go nowhere for some time," Madam Pomfrey said sternly while pushing him onto his back again.

"But I'm fine, I swear," Harry said desperately.

"Fine? You have jumped from one of the towers, Harry. You have a concussion and several bruises from the impact, and I also know about your arm. I will have a closer look at the wounds in the infirmary," the Mediwitch said, and eyed him closely.

How can I get out of this? Harry thought desperately. "I slipped and fell over the banister," Harry lied, but even while he still was speaking he saw on her face that she didn't believe a word.

"You can not just fall over the banister, Harry. It is accident proof. You can only climb over them and jump. And that is exactly what you did, otherwise you wouldn't be here, and you wouldn't have tried to apologize the whole time." Professor Moody leaned over Harry and patted his arms which were still crossed on his chest. "Leave them where they are and keep your legs together while I move you onto the stretcher," he ordered.

"Professor Moody, I..." suddenly Harry didn't know what he wanted to say. He could feel a lump build in his throat and tears build in his eyes. Oh no, please don't let me embarrass myself more than I already have. He tried to fight the tears, but soon the first sob escaped his lips and tears were running over his cheeks freely.

"We have plenty of time to speak later, boy, but now we will get you into bed," Alastor said and left no place for arguing.

Soon Harry was floating between Madam Pomfrey and Professor Moody to the hospital wing. It wasn't far away from the room Harry had landed in. When Harry was placed on one of the comfortable beds of the hospital wing, he just wished to pull the bedclothes over his head and hide. Madam Pomfrey seemed to have something else in mind, and with a wave of her wand the bedclothes folded themselves over the foot rail of the bed. It was strange, but Harry felt more exposed now than while he was lying on the floor in the other room.

Professor Moody had sat down on the right side of his bed, and Madam Pomfrey was standing on his left side. "I will remove your clothes now, Harry."

"No, Madam Pomfrey, please," Harry begged and tried to sit up, but his professor pushed him back.

"Let Poppy do her work, kid," Moody ordered and Harry stiffened.

Suddenly he was naked. Just Dudley's old worn-out briefs covered his private parts. Immediately he tried to cover his groin with his hands.

Poppy sighed and summoned a towel. "Harry, I can't examine you when you're stiff like that. Come one, move your hands away!" she ordered. Together with Alastor she managed to get Harry's hands away and the towel over Harry's crotch. "Better?" she asked him.

Harry nodded shyly. "Thank you"

Madam Pomfrey waved her wand for another diagnostic spell, and this time Harry noticed the tickle. In the room he was still so full of adrenaline that he hadn't felt the tickling sensation diagnostic spells always cause. "How do you feel now, Harry?" Poppy asked.

"I don't know...Better I would say. The pain has gone, and I don't feel dizzy or sick anymore." He hadn't even realized all of this before she had asked him.

"Then the painkiller and the concussion potion have worked. Now, I will have a look at this." She pointed at the bandage on Harry's left arm and started to unwrap it.

"Madam Pomfrey, please don't-" Harry tried to stop her, but when he struggled and tried to grab with his right hand after her, Professor Moody was faster. The professor took hold of Harry's right wrist and pressed Harry on his back again with his free hand. He let his right hand stay on Harry's chest and moved his left hand from Harry's wrist to his hand to hold it.

"There is no way around it, Harry. Let Poppy help you," Moody said calmingly.

Harry gave up his struggle and closed his eyes. The tears were still running over his cheeks. Merlin, I'm fifteen and I'm crying like a baby. Why must everything be so complicated and embarrassing? He could hear Poppy sigh, and she seemed to have stopped unwrapping his bandage. Moments later she felt her hand on his neck while she lifted his head. "Open your eyes, Harry! I want you to drink another potion," Poppy said and placed a vial at Harry's lips.

Harry drank it without thinking about it. He just wanted it all to be over. He was tired and wanted to close his eyes and forget all that had happened. A warm feeling was spreading through his body. It felt as if thick butterbeer was flowing through his veins. He felt himself sink deeper into the mattress and his muscles relaxed completely. All the negative thoughts and feelings seem to float away, and Harry opened his eyes.

"Better?" Poppy asked and squeezed his hand.

Harry hadn't felt that good in ages. The heavy weight on his chest had lifted away from him, and he could breathe freely. "Amazing," he said happily.

Poppy threw a quick glance at her husband and then said, "That's good to hear, Harry." The Calming Draught has worked well, now it will be much easier to examine and heal Harry's arm.

Harry didn't mind what she did any longer. He was more concentrated on the hand on his chest and the hand that held his right hand. It felt so good to have someone near him. The last weeks he had felt so alone, and now he wasn't alone anymore. He wished they could take all his burdens away from him and take care of him. Harry didn't want to be alone. He wanted someone to take care of him.

Soon Madam Pomfrey had taken care of his wounds. Self inflicted wounds aren't easy to heal and so she had to wrap the wounds in a fresh bandage after disinfecting them and smearing some special healing balm on them. It would need some time for them to heal. She hoped they wouldn't start to get infected. After a Cleaning Spell she dressed Harry in pajamas and tucked him in.

Harry snuggled happily in the bedclothes and enjoyed the warm feeling in his body. When the Mediwitch stoke his hair, he leaned into the touch.

"You are tired, Harry," Poppy said and whispered a Sleeping Spell.

Soon Harry relaxed completely and fell into a deep sleep.