“We stand, as it were, on the shore, and see multitudes of our fellow beings struggling in the water, stretching forth their arms, sinking, drowning, and we are powerless to assist them.”

-Felix Adler

“Let’s see…” I mutter to myself as I search Winifred’s chart for the line I need to fill in, “There…she ate approximately 60 percent of her dinner tonight, very good.”

Even as I fill in my nightly notes, my eyes continue to wander down the graying hallway towards room 136, waiting for the inevitable to happen. I told him this was a bad idea, that it was much too soon to try and make amends. Alas, my father has never been one to listen to the advice of others. Tonight, I’m afraid he will reap the benefits of what he is attempting to sow.

Mentally, I shake my head at him in defeat as I put away Winifred’s tray and go into Edmund’s room. Edmund hasn’t eaten a single thing on his platter.

“Ed, aren’t you going to-“

“I would bloody well love to eat, thank you very much, but that new nurse didn’t tell me where anything was! For fuck’s sake, does she think I can read her mind or something?” he rants, picking up a fork and shaking it at me as if I was the recalcitrant nurse who wronged him.

“Well…she did cut up your chicken just the way you like it,” I say, trying to sway Ed into having a more positive outlook on the situation. Like many of the elderly wizards in the home, however, he is very set in his ways. “Okay, so you’ve got the chicken at twelve o’clock, buttered mashed potatoes at five, and a mix of peas and carrots at nine. Sound good?”

“What’s on the chicken?” he spits out, though not with as much vitriol as before.

“Lemon pepper seasoning,” I reply, smiling as his expression livens up a bit, “Do you want any assistance eating tonight?”

He snorts and replies, “Albus, I may be blind, but I’m certainly not an invalid.”

“I know,” I say with a smile I’m certain he can hear inflected in my voice “I’m just required to ask—part of the job, you know.”

I exit Edmund’s room, rolling my eyes at the thought of Karen forgetting to tell a blind patient where his food is. Good grief, new or not, that was a rather large mistake to make. However, I find I’m not too terribly surprised at this new incident, as Karen’s first two weeks here have been rocky at best. The woman prefers to sit at the nurse’s station and chat up the secretary all day, for pity’s sake. Some people just don’t understand this job.

On the other hand, some do.

I watch as Vivian heads towards me, chatting with Mae while she escorts her from the dining room back to her bedroom for the night. It always astonishes me how well she can carry on a conversation while concentrating on stabilizing a resident’s shaky legs with her wand.

As the pair starts to approach me, Vivian catches my eye and signals for me to go hide in a nearby room by tipping her head violently to one side. Unfortunately, as I start to do just that, Mae catches my eye and I know I am about to receive a very specific talk.

“Well, let’s see your hand boy! Have you got yourself a ring yet?” she asks very demandingly, grabbing up my hand to look for herself while she desperately clings to the hallway rail with her other.

“No luck…young people today just don’t understand the sanctity of marriage! You need to get yourself a pure-blooded witch, boy! People must think you’re a right vagabond, having no wife at your age! Why, you-“

Vivian catches my eye and mouths the word ‘sorry.’ I shake my head a bit as the old witch continues on her timeless rant, which was probably inflicted on her during her younger years as often as she inflicts it upon us. I let her go on, as Mae is a right tyrant when she wants to be. Needless to say, none of the nurses know how to stop such a rant once she’s gotten started.

“Seeing as you are both unmarried, you’d think you’d come to the conclusion that it was time to form an alliance!” she continued mercilessly, making Vivian blush a bit at the implication.

She has reason to, really, as Vivian and I do have a bit of a history together. However, Mae doesn’t know anything about that. She just enjoys playing matchmaker with any single witches and wizards over the age of 16. Since Vivian and I are both pushing 40 and unmarried, we are frequent targets of such tirades and have grown accustomed to them.

Being the clever blonde that she is, Vivian somehow manages to lure Mae back to her room with the promise of putting on her favorite Celestina Warbeck record. With a roll of her eyes meant for only me, Vivian disappears through a nearby doorway with Mae at her side.

Sadly, this has done little to distract my single-minded thoughts. I look back at room 136 and feel a wave of remorse and worry pass over me again. I know what is going to happen and it is literally driving me mental because there is nothing I can do about it!

Dad will cry tonight, I just know it. I hate it when he cries. I always feel so helpless because I know there isn’t a single thing that I can say to make everything all right. Also, it reminds me of the incident, which is something I prefer not to think about.

After all, Dad certainly thinks about it enough for the both of us.

He never listens to my advice though; no, he always has to do things his own way. I daresay he’s at the point in his life where he won’t change his ways, like many of the residents of this establishment. If only he’d let me help him—if only he could accept that he doesn’t have to do things by himself then maybe, just maybe, he’ll start to heal.

For Merlin’s sake, sometimes I think he does these things on purpose…

Sometimes, I think he likes to suffer.

I sigh and rub my eyes a bit, my tiredness showing despite the fact that I’m only halfway done with my shift tonight. A soft hand rests unexpectedly on my shoulder. I pull my hand away from my face to find Vivian in front of me, looking a bit concerned on my behalf.

“You okay, Al?” she asks me in that soft-spoken voice of hers. Her hazel eyes meet mine and I smile weakly at her.

“No, not really,” I admit cautiously, looking down at her short figure “It’s nothing to worry yourself over though.”

She looks at me and we both know what the other is thinking—we’ve had an argument over this sort of thing many times before. The look on her face is so cold that I find myself giving in.

“You’ve surely heard about the last fiasco my dad was apart of, right?” I ask, then skip ahead when she gives me ‘the look.’ “Of course you have, that was silly of me… Anyway, he’s here to visit and make amends right now…but it’s not going to go well, you know? It’s much too soon for such a thing, but he wouldn’t listen to my opinion, of course… I might have to take him home early.”

My admission has earned me a pitiful look; really, such a look was the last thing I was after. My life is not nearly as bad as she makes it out to be. I’m 38 and have a solid career that I enjoy. Just because I live with my father to take care of him does not mean that I deserve pity!

She seems to sense my insecurity and drops her hand from my shoulder. “That poor man has suffered enough in his life for two people…maybe even three. Listen Al, if there’s anything I can do to help…”

I smile at her request, though we both know I will not take her offer, genuine though it may be. “Thanks Viv. You know, the next few months are going to be an even bumpier flight for him, but dad’s used to it. It’s just going to take time.”

“I understand,” she says, turning away and walking a few steps before turning back and gasping “Oh fuck! Albus, there’s something you need to know.”

She suddenly looks a bit frightened, which puts my mind in a tizzy, as she is not the sort of woman who panics over little things. I get the feeling that I’m really not going to like what she says.

“You see, I heard we’re getting a new occupant tomorrow…someone from your dad’s time,” she says, pausing to watch my reaction.

I snort, despite the sloshing of my stomach, and try to deduce what she’s hinting at. “What’s so special about that, Vivs?”

“No, you don’t understand,” she says. Nervously, she looks around before leaning in towards my ear and whispering, “They say he’s got the Dark Mark—we’re getting a Death Eater.”

A slight chill runs down my spine as I think about such a disturbing possibility. “Are you serious?” I whisper back, unable to even comprehend this possibility because of how ill I feel. The grey hallways dissipate around me. For a second, I’m back in Godric’s Hollow, reliving the kitchen scene that has haunted my nightmares for years. My breath catches in my throat as I look down and see-

“Albus!” she hisses, breaking me out of my flashback, “I’m sorry I had to tell you this way, okay, but I think you needed to know, you know, before it happened! After all, your safety is going to be at risk, as well as that of your father. Once we know where he’s at, we’re going to have to go out of our way to keep your dad away from him. Merlin only knows what that man will do if he recognizes him-”

“I know, I know…” I grumble, frustrated and upset, “…I just—yeah, okay… It’s okay…”

I find that I’m talking more to myself than to her. Quickly pulling myself together as best I can, I look Vivian in the eye and say, “We’ll take care of it, you and I. Between the two of us, my dad will never even know he’s here, and vice versa.”

We both nod at each other, making a silent pact. We grab each other’s hand simultaneously and shake on our deal. Her hand is warm and reassuring in mine and my heart sings for a mere moment just from touching her.

We both hold the other’s hand much longer than is necessary, looking into each other’s eyes for confirmation that has nothing to do with the pact or my father at all. It’s a much deeper feeling, something which both of us really need to work out.

I pull my hand away first and look down. I cannot give her what she wants—she doesn’t understand, but it’s for her own good. I would not distance myself from her if it wasn’t.

She looks blankly at me before turning around and walking back down to the dining hall to collect one of our better-off seniors. I watch as her short figure walks dejectedly away from me. She normally has a very purposeful and determined walk, which makes her curly blonde ponytail jiggle with every step. She doesn’t look nearly so vibrant, now that I’ve sunk her heart’s ship.

I’m a dick.

She is wonderful, both pretty and smart to boot, with a kindled kindness that would make Helga Hufflepuff jealous. I feel like I rip a new hole in her sails every time we talk these days. However, I’m trying my best to avoid a relationship within the workplace, which is exactly what she’s after. She’s special indeed; I like to think of her as being the right woman for me, who has shown up at the wrong time. I’d love to get involved with her, I really would, but after the incident? Well, let’s just say that no relationship has appealed to me since that disaster.

I’m determined not to end up like dad, hurting beyond imagination. I don’t know how he’s survived the pain from his life; I know I couldn’t deal with it. Hell, he can’t really deal with it himself, but he does still have me to take care of him and I work hard to do just that.

Feeling worse than ever after my encounter with Vivian, I continue my trek down the hallway to help feed the nursing home patients who cannot physically make it down the hall to the dining room. I spell nutritive potions into the next two patients, as neither can make it out of their bed. The first witch, Opal, stares up at me with scared-looking eyes that nearly bring me to tears.

She hasn’t got much time left. Sooner or later, the harsh reality of my job will strike once again.

Blanche, on the other hand, has been stuck in what is thought to be a trance of some sort for the past eight years. She has not opened her eyes for me ever, though I always ask her how she is. Maybe one day she’ll tell me.

Finally, the moment I’ve been waiting for occurs as I exit Blanche’s room.

“Bugger and blast! Get the fuck out of my room, you bloody arsehole, before I hex your botched-up bollocks from here to France!”

“Would you please be reasonable and hear me out! I’m here to apologize, for fuck’s sake!” my father cries.

A moment later, I watch as a plastic pink cup filled with ice slams into the wall outside of room 136. Ice cubes noisily clatter to the ground with the two pieces of the cup.

“Shit!” I cry as I run towards the icy mess.

“No, I’ve heard enough of you! Always getting people killed—it’s your fault she’s gone you know! You got her murdered and now you’ve gone and done this to me! If I ever get out of this bed, I’m going to kill you, do you fucking understand me? You are dead! Now get the fuck out!” I hear the other voice scream with an almost inhuman rage.

I round the corner into the room and catch sight of my father, who looks as if he has been stabbed in the back and still has the knife drilling a deep wound into his flesh. Despite the patient’s age, he certainly still knew how to get to my father and hurt him effectively. This has not changed over time.

“Please, let’s just-“

“OUT!” he howled, “OUT, YOU BASTARD, OUT!”

Knowing he can take little more, I briskly grab my father’s shoulders and haul his numb body out of the room. Quickly, I shut the door and put a Silencing Charm on the door to prevent any more emotional abuse from my father’s friend. The screaming immediately stops and the hallway became silent once again.

“Dad? Dad?” I question, turning him so he faces me as I look him over.

For a few moments, his face is totally devoid of emotion. He looks up at me after a terribly long silence and confirms my suspicions. “He’s right, you know,” my father whispers, tearing up a bit as he continues, “it is all my fault. Both of them…”

“Oh Dad…” I mutter as I grab him up in a tight hug. As he hugs me back, I can feel his hot tears on my ear, as well as the scratchy texture of grey stubble from his unshaven face.

My poor father, the one and only Harry Potter, whose spirit has finally been crushed.