"I cannot believe that the two of you would do something like this!" Lily Evans said angrily as she paced back and forth in front of the couch on which her sons Harry Evans and William Snape were sitting. Also sitting around her living room was her ex-husband, Severus Snape and her best friend Alice Longbottom with her son Neville. Her nephew Dudley Dursley was in the kitchen helping his mother, Petunia Dursley née Evans, prepare tea for the group. Lily continued, "And you, Alice Prewitt, knew they had switched on me, but you didn't tell me! I thought I could always rely on you to keep me in the loop, especially with something like this!"

"And I thought I could trust you, Lilith Snape, to remember that I am married!" Alice snapped, causing Lily to turn red. "I am a Longbottom, and have been for the last eleven years! And to be honest, I only found out a day or two ago that the boys had switched. The boys came to me and Frank the day that the Dursleys got back from visiting Marge in Majorca. As a matter of fact, Severus knew before I did, and had been making arrangements to come switch the boys back when I contacted him for the first time since he left!"

"Mum," Harry piped in. "We, William and me, decided to switch places at camp. You and Dad both chose Norris Lake Quidditch Camp. It was Neville who first noticed how similar we looked and acted. It took a few weeks before we figured out we were actually twins, and a bit longer before we came up with our plan."

"Yeah, Mum. We only did it because I wanted to get to know you, and Harry wanted to get to know Dad," William added. "Before this summer, I thought I was an only child who missed his mum greatly. While Harry had Dudley and Neville as ‘siblings' of sorts, and Uncles Vernon and Frank as father figures, he thought Dad didn't care about him. We just did it to get to know our other parent."

"Nevertheless, you should not have played such a dirty trick on us," Lily said. "Did it ever occur to you that you might be causing your father and me to violate custody agreements? Not only that, but the two of you violated our trust in our children!"

"That's just it, though, Mum. For ten years, the two of you were lying to us by not telling us we had a twin brother," William said. "Never once did either of you say anything about us to the other. In regards to the custody arrangements, they suck!"

"I suppose we could have handled everything a bit differently, Lily," Severus said.

"There wasn't a way they could have alternated months or weekends, though," Alice said.

"Whaddya mean, Aunt Alice?" Harry asked curiously.

"I believe she is saying that with the two of you attending Muggle primary school, you couldn't have had a conventional shared custody arrangement," Petunia said as she walked in carrying a tea service. She was followed by Dudley, who was carrying a snack tray.

"No, we couldn't have done that," William agreed. "But we could have at least alternated summers or holidays or something."

"At least we could have wrote each other if you guys had been honest with us," Harry said. "I would have liked to know I had a brother and Dad who loved me."

"Alright," Lily conceded. "It was a mistake not to tell you about the other. That doesn't excuse the fact that you two pulled this... this... whatever this was. Your father and I will consult the solicitors to see about adjusting the custody arrangements for the summers. You will be together during the school year anyway at Hogwarts."

Harry and William looked at each other, then at Neville and Dudley and nodded. "Works for us," they chorused.

Lily nodded at Severus, who rose and said, "Alright, boys. Why don't the four of you go play for awhile so the adults can talk a bit?"

"Okay," all four boys said happily before running up the stairs to a chorus of "No running in the house!"

~-~-~-~

Later that same day
Leaky Cauldron, Room 7

‘Why did I have to tell her I still love her?' Severus thought as he sat in an armchair in front of the fireplace. He picked up his glass and sipped at the brandy provided to him by Tom the Innkeeper. ‘Of all the idiotic things I could have said, I had to blurt that out! She's engaged for Merlin's sake! And to James bloody Potter at that! It's not like she's going to call that off just to come back to me when I say I still love her!'

He rose and hurled the rocks glass into the fireplace before starting to pace in front of the fireplace. For the remainder of the evening, he mulled over ways that he could get her to forget what he had said.

~-~-~-~

7h00 am
Evans House
Little Whinging, Surrey

"Harry! William! Get down here!" Lily called up the stairs. She had hosted a sleepover for four hyperactive eleven-year-olds, which meant she was exhausted and cranky. Neville and Dudley had already went home this morning, and her two brats were yet to come down.

Her tone of voice expressed that she meant business, and her sons came thundering down the stairs, plopping themselves down into kitchen chairs. They were both dressed in matching black tank tops reading "← I'm with Stupid!" with white nylon shorts. They both looked up with innocent looks on their faces and said, "Good morning, Mum!"

"William Severus Snape, why aren't you dressed properly? You are to return to Orrville with your father this morning," Lily snapped.

"We have decided that we are not going to be split up until we have reasonable custody agreements!" the boys said in perfect twin-speak, finishing together. It took them about three weeks' training with the Weasley twins to perfect this trait.

"Molly sent her twins to camp as well, didn't she?" Lily asked. At the boys' nods, she groaned and said, "You boys need to remember that Severus and I are your parents, so you have to do what we tell you to do, and what we are telling you to do is for William to go to Ohio with Dad and Harry to stay here with me. It is only two weeks until school starts, and you two will be together at Hogwarts for an entire school year, during which the solicitors will work out the custody arrangements." Just then, the doorbell rang. Lily said, "Don't... move!" before striding over to the door to answer it.

When she opened the door, she found Severus on the other side. "C'mon in, Severus," she said. "I need your help with the boys. They refuse to be split up again and are trying to confuse us à la Weasley."

Severus grimaced, remembering all the horror stories he had heard about the Weasley twins. Following Lily into the kitchen, he took in the sight of his preteen sons. Laughing, he said, "Nice shirts, boys!"

"Thanks, Dad!" they said in perfect harmony.

Laying the rope serving as a Portkey on the table, he casually asked, "What's this I hear about your being bratty this morning, boys?"

"Like we told Mum, we're not being split up until we get a reasonable custody arrangement worked out," William said.

Walking up behind Harry, Sev placed his hands on his son's shoulders. Squeezing his son's shoulders, he said, "How's this for a custody arrangement - you will go with me to Ohio while Harry stays here with his mum?" Severus said authoritatively. "So, are you ready to go, William?"

"Are you sure I'm William?" Harry said, affecting an American accent.

"Or am I William?" William said in his "normal accent".

"Boys, this is not funny," Severus chuckled nervously. "Dad's Portkey leaves in a few minutes, so now is not the time for games. Now William, go get your stuff so we can go!"

"Okay, Dad," both boys answered, rising.

"Still not funny, boys," Severus said. "You have to the count of three to willingly tell me who is who, or else you are grounded."

"And for the real Harry Evans, you're not home free... whatever punishment your dad gives William goes double for you!" Lily added.

"But Mum! You said we would go on our annual zoo trip!" William cried.

"The zoo?" Severus asked.

"Yes, the zoo. Mom, Aunt Alice, and Aunt Petunia take us boys to the zoo every year right before the school year starts," Harry explained.

"So the two of you made me miss the Portkey back to Ohio, because you disagreed with us over custody arrangements and a trip to the ZOO?!?" Severus fumed.

"Dad, Mum, we will tell you who is who... after the two of you take us on our annual zoo trip," the twins said.

"Or... we ground you both, and we use a spell to determine who is who," Lily threatened.

"Magic can't do that!" Harry said nervously. "Right, Dad?"

"Are you willing to take that risk?" Severus said casually. "Because while there may not be a spell I know of that does that, there are several potions that could determine who you are and your lineage. And the real William can confirm I routinely carry Veritaserum on me." The boys looked at each other, horror-struck.

"Lily?" Severus asked. "The Portkey is gone anyway, so why don't we go ahead and take the boys to the zoo? William and I are free for  awhile until we can get another Portkey." He gave Lily a Look which said, ‘Just trust me'.

Lily nodded and said, "Alright. Boys, go get your socks and shoes on. Once you do that, go get Dudley and Neville ready so we can get going."

"Cool!" both boys cried, high-fiving the other. They rose and hurried off to do what their mother told them to do.

~-~-~-~

As soon as Severus and Lily heard the boys leave the house, Lily turned to Severus and said, "What's the big idea? You go from threatening eternal punishment to offering to take them to the zoo?"

"They think the two of us will be taking them to the zoo, so it is obviously a plot on how to get us back together. However, you are engaged to James, and they don't like him, so why don't you invite him to go in my place?"

"I like how your mind works," Lily grinned. "I get a date, and the boys get punished by having to deal with James Potter."

"Exactly," Severus smirked.

~-~-~-~

"Mum!" Harry called out at the same time William was calling out, "Dad!"

"We're back!" they chorused, joined by Neville and Dudley. Harry ran off to the restroom while the rest of the group started to settle into the living room.

"Why, hello, boys," a voice said from behind them. All three of them turned to find Lord James Potter climbing out of the Floo, dusting soot off of his suit.

"What are you doing here?" William snarled.

"Your mother invited me, Harry," James replied.

As of yet, he had not been informed that Lily had, in fact, two children, so he didn't realize he was talking to William instead of Harry. So as Harry stepped into the room saying, "Why in Merlin's name would she invite you, you git?", he just stood there looking back and forth between the two twins.

"There's TWO of you?" he croaked finally.

"Don't feel bad, Mr. Potter," Harry said soothingly. He walked over to William and put his arm around his brother's shoulder. "Mum and Dad didn't tell us about each other either. By the way, I'm the real Harry Evans, and this is my brother, William Snape."

"Okay," James said distractedly. "Boys, where is your mother?"

"She's in the kitchen, I think," Harry said.

"Or, at least she was when we went over to Aunt Alice's place," William added.

"Okay. Thank you, boys," James said before wandering off toward the kitchen in a daze.

"What was that all about?" Neville asked Dudley, who shrugged his shoulders.

The four boys sat down on the couch to watch television until the group of adults were ready to go.