Harry looked down at his hands, which were fisted in the blanket he had drawn up to his chest, and was suddenly angry at Severus. "Why did he have to tell you?" he burst out. "I didn't want to advertise it, for God's sake!"

Sirius blinked, he had never heard his godson sound so bitter towards the Potions Master before. While once he might have enjoyed seeing Snape get the rough edge of Harry's tongue, that time was long gone. Now all he felt was saddened that the trust between the two had somehow been twisted about. "Harry, he was trying to help you, don't you understand that?"

"You frightened him very badly, Harry," Remus added in his soft voice. "He was afraid you were dying after you took the Angel Dream. When he contacted us, he was almost . . .incoherent.  It took us a bit to calm him down, and then when he told us what had happened . . .Harry, why did you experiment with a potion like that? Severus claimed you were depressed, but I'd like to hear your own opinion."

Harry stared at his hands, white-knucled above the soft blue blanket and recalled how Severus had looked after he had finished puking his insides out. He had not looked anything like his usual calm, rational, unruffled self. He had not even looked angry or disappointed. He had looked . . .weary and uncertain. His father had looked concerned and now Lupin seemed to think Severus had been frightened as well. He felt terribly guilty for causing Severus to feel such things. The man didn't deserve to be going through this.  This was supposed to be a peaceful summer, and instead it was turning out to be a worse ordeal than the war had been.

All because of him.

"Harry, talk to us, please," Remus prompted.

Sirius shifted upon the chair and leaned forward to clasp his godson's hands in his own. He had big hands, they covered Harry's slender ones completely. "You know, Harry, when I first was acquitted, the Wizengamot insisted I see a therapist. I was none too keen on the idea. I didn't want any Mind Healer poking about in my head, and I didn't think they could do anything to help me. What would he know about being a prisoner in Azkaban, I said to myself.  What would he know about going mad from a curse? First time I met with Healer Sandrilas, or Alec, as he preferred to be called, I told him straight out that I doubted he could help me and the sessions were a waste of our time."

"What . . .what did he say?"

"He just looked at me and said, why don't we give it a week and see? I agreed. But I didn't think he could ever help me. But guess what? I was dead wrong. Alec helped me fix what was wrong with me, he found stuff that was wrong with me that I never even knew about. And you know what? He did it without using magic, most times.  He never entered my head without my permission, and anything I told him, or he suggested I do, was confidential. He was sworn to never repeat what we discussed, not to anyone. Everything was confidential. He told me that was how Mind Healers operated. They took vows of patient confidentiality, as strong as an Unbreakable Vow.  He said even if I had confessed to murder, he could never tell anyone.  So I didn't need to be afraid of anyone finding out about my sorry past. All my secrets, and believe me, kid, there were a lot, were safe with him. So you see, if you decide to go and see him, or another Mind Healer, you don't need to be afraid they'll go to the press or whatever and blab."

Harry sighed. "Don't you get it?" he growled. "I don't need to see a Mind Healer because I'm fine." He knew he wasn't, but he couldn't bear to admit it, not even to these two.

To his utter shock Remus glared at him sternly. "Harry, stop it! Denying the problem won't make it go away. Thought you'd learned that by now. You're depressed and suffering from a serious case of post traumatice stress disorder, just like your godfather here was when I came to live with him after Severus reversed Bellatrix's curse. There's nothing to be ashamed of.  Severus himself admitted he also suffers from it.  So do I.  Anyone who's fought battles does. And the only way to get better is to admit it and talk about it."

"Moony's right." Sirius chimed in.  "And since you don't seem to want to talk to a Mind Healer or your father, we're here. You can trust us, Harry. We'd never betray you."

Harry stared into Sirius' brown eyes and said, very quietly, "I know.  But I hate the way I am and I don't want you to feel sorry for me. And I'm afraid someone will find out if I go and see a Mind Healer, like Rita, and then everyone will know I'm a screwed up mess and they'll make fun of me.  I'm tired of being the front page headline. I just want to be normal, damn it! Is that so much to ask?"

"No, it's not," his godfather said. "But you'll never have that until you face what you fear.  I know it's hard, believe me. I've been there too. If you're worried about the press, you don't have to go to Sandrilas' office, he makes house calls. No one needs to know. Severus will make sure of that.  Don't tell me you don't trust him to handle security, he was a spy for over half of his life."

"I know that, but he does too much for me."

"Harry, protecting your child is what a parent does." Remus said firmly. "It's not something that's a burden or a chore.  It's something you do because you care about your child and want them to be safe. Severus loves you, Harry. He'd do anything to protect you.  Anything. Because that's what a good parent does. It's what I'd do, if I had a son. Now maybe you feel you're too old to be protected like that-"

"You don't understand, Remus. It's not like that at all.  Sev has risked too much for me-he nearly died because of me-I don't want him to do it all over again."

"Harry, that's not your choice to make," Remus pointed out. "Only Severus can decide what he wants to do regarding you."

"But I don't deserve it! Don't you get it? I don't want to screw up his life too! That's why I've been trying to deal with this on my own." Harry cried, feeling his eyes sting with tears. 

Sirius winced and hoped like hell Snape couldn't hear the conversation from wherever he was.  "Harry . . .just because you have problems doesn't mean you're not deserving of help . . .especially from your father.  You'll screw up his life more by not allowing him to do what he can for you than if you just let him help in the first place.  One thing I've learned about Severus Snape is that he hates feeling useless. And so do I. It's a terrible thing to feel so helpless and to have to watch while somebody you love is destroying themselves."

"I'm not destroying myself." Harry argued.

"Aren't you?" Sirius demanded.  "Drinking that potion wasn't the brightest thing, and it was the second time you tried the same stunt."

Harry's jaw clenched.  "That was a mistake. I didn't know Angel Dream wasn't safe to take. There should have been more of a warning!"

"And if there had been? Would you have listened to it?" Remus asked. "Would you have gone to Severus and asked his advice?"

"No. I guess not."

"Do you know why that is? Because deep down, you knew what you were doing was wrong." Remus said quietly. 

"Okay, so I made a mistake!" Harry snapped. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Remus's eyes flashed. "That kind of mistake could have cost you your life! And how do you think Severus would have felt then? Finding you dead of a potion overdose? Go ahead, tell me."

Harry bit his lip.  "He would have never forgiven himself."

"Exactly.  But you weren't thinking of that, were you? All you were thinking of was how to mask the pain. To pretend that everything was fine.  But some things you can't hide from, Harry. No matter how much you want to. I know that better than anyone. You know what I am-a werewolf. I've been one since I was five years old and Fenrir infected me. For thirty years I've lived with that awful curse, and for most of it I didn't have Wolfsbane.  When I was a little boy, I can still remember my dad chaining me in our basement when the full moon came, and he cried everytime he did it.  I could tell he hated it, but there was nothing he could do for me, and he had to protect himself and my mother and me too, so the Ministry never found out what I was till I was school age.  I was the ultimate burden, Harry. A child with a deadly secret, a son who could kill his own father, a son who might never become a productive member of society.  Yet my father kept me and made sure I wasn't a danger to anyone-especially myself.  Do you know why? Because he loved me.  He loved me more than I ever loved myself. Just like Severus loves you."

Harry shook his head. "No.  I'm an embarrassment. How could he ever love me like this?"

"Because I'm your father, that's how," Severus interjected, coming into the room. He crossed to the bed and put his hands on Harry' shouldiers.  "Son, no matter what you do or don't do, I shall always love you. Without reservation. And you most certainly are not an embarrassment to me, Harry Potter-Snape!"

"I am too!" Harry cried. "I can't go to sleep without damn nightmares and I still need a light on and I get shaky and sick when I'm in small spaces. I'm a bloody coward."

"Join the club, because I am too," Sirius cut in. "I'm scared to spit in tiny rooms because that was all I lived in in prison. And I hate the dark because that was when all the dementors came and hovered over the cells and sucked all the warmth from you. It's been months since I came back from Azkaban and guess what? I still have nightmares."

"As do I, after I killed Greyback," Remus told him. "I knew he deserved to die, but I never intended to kill him.  Until he came straight at me and I knew I didn't have a choice. It was him or me and I chose me. I try and avoid killing as much as possible because I'm afraid that I'll become a monster like him.  I'm a predator, Harry, and no matter how much I wish it otherwise, I cannot change the werewolf nature, only control it. It took me a long time to accept that, but once I did, I found some measure of peace.  You'll find it too, once you stop fighting everything and just let go."

"Sometimes what takes the most courage is admitting you need help in the first place," Severus said quietly. "We're your family, son.  All of us have traveled the dark road before and come back out. But we can't help you unless you are willing to help yourself. And there is no easy solution to be found at the bottom of a potion bottle.  Take it from one who knows." He rose to his feet. "I'm going to make some tea for everyone. Just so you know, I didn't call them here to embarrass you further, but because they might help you better than I can, since you obviously don't trust me to understand what you're going through." Then he left.

Harry flinched. He hadn't realized just how much he had hurt Severus by refusing to talk about his nightmares until now. 

Remus was watching him carefully, he could smell the conflicting emotions of shame and regret coming off the boy and he said, "You're really hurting him by refusing to get help, Harry.  That's probably his worst nightmare, watching you fall apart and not being able to do anything about it."

"I don't mean it. I just . . .he's already done so much for me . . .this is just . . .my problem, not his . . .if I keep going to him whenever I've got a problem, when will it stop?"

Remus leaned forward in his chair. "Harry, it never stops.  Even adults ask their parents for advice.  And your child's problem is your own when you're a parent. You hurt when your child does, no matter how old they are. And a parent wants to be needed, they don't mind helping you.  Severus doesn't regard you as a burden, he wants to help you.  And by you not allowing him to because of some crazy idea that you need to handle things on your own, you're making him a nervous wreck."

"I am? But I . . .I don't want him to see me like this, Remus! I want him to be proud of me. . ."

Sirius winced, for he could remember wanting that too at Harry's age.  "Harry, is that what you think? That you have to be perfect in order for Severus to be proud of you? That he won't love you as much if you're not?"

Slowly, Harry nodded.  "That's how it always was with my aunt and uncle. They thought Dudley was perfect and I never was . . .no matter how I tried . . .But I want to be for him . . .only I keep making a royal mess of everything . . ."Silent tears trickled down his cheeks.

"Ah, kid." Sirius went and sat on the edge of the bed and put an arm about him. "Harry, a dad loves you even if you're not perfect. And if he doesn't there's something wrong with him, not you.  Like there was with Snape's father and my own.  But you don't have to worry about that, kid. Snape might be a perfectionist git to himself, and hung up on school, but he'll still be proud of you, no matter what."

"How d'you know?"

"Because that's how I'd be if I had a kid.  And I've seen how he is with you. He's a good dad, he loves you for you, screwed up mess you are and all. Has he ever said he was disappointed in you because you have nightmares? That you were a coward for being claustrophobic?"

"N-no . . .he was mad at me for taking Dreamless Sleep and not telling him . . .he said I was irresponsible for not coming to him first . . ."

"There, you see. He was disappointed at how you handled your problem, not that you had one in the first place.  There's the difference, Harry.  He's upset you won't confide in him, not that you need to in the first place.  Am I making any sense?"

"Yeah. In a weird way."

Sirius grinned slightly. "Thank Merlin. Looks like some of Alec rubbed off on me after all. Harry, I understand where you're coming from, because I was always trying to please my dad and I never quite managed it.  Alec says that made me insecure and that in turn made me a rebellious snot, because I figured behaving got me nowhere and so I decided it was better to misbehave. He was right, now that I think back on it. A lot of what I did when I was in school was in a way me trying to spit in my dad's eye. My dad always said I was trouble, so I was just proving him right.  Crazy, right? And you thought you were messed up." He offered Harry a crumpled white handkerchief.

Harry took it and wiped his eyes. 

"But you don't need to do what Siri did, Harry.  All you need to do to make Severus proud of you is to talk about what's bothering you." Remus pressed. "To us, if you don't want to seem weak in front of him."

"Really?" A glimmer of hope penetrated the curtain of despair that had shrouded him in its depths. He had been terrified that Severus would despise him for his weakness, that he was secretly disgusted with Harry for having nightmares after the war was over and done with.

Remus nodded encouragingly. "That's all."

Harry seemed at a loss. Where to begin? How to begin? Should he start with the most recent nightmare or go back to the beginning, when Voldemort had haunted his every waking moment?

Sirius patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Just talk, Harry. You're not composing a speech.  Why don't you start with the most recent dream you remember?" Merlin's bones, but I sound like Sandrilas! The Animagus thought wryly.  Never thought I'd be playing Healer someday. Still, if it'll help him . . .

Harry closed his eyes, retreating into the formless gray mist of dreams.  "Okay. I keep dreaming about the time Warrior and I-that's Sev's Animagus form's name-were being hunted by the werewolves in the forest near Hogwarts, not the Forbidden Forest, but another one . . .and a werewolf came for him while he was contacting McGonagall with his amulet . . .it would have killed him, but I saved him by casting a Burning Hex at it and I burned it to death . . .that was the first time I'd ever killed anything on purpose . . ."

"How did it make you feel?" Remus prompted.

"At first I was glad. It would have killed Sev. But then, after, I felt sick . . ."

"That's normal. We all have felt that way." Sirius said. "What else?"

"In the dream, the werewolf comes and . . .I'm too slow . . .I miss my mark and then it . . .tears Sev apart . . .and all I can do is watch . . .I'm screaming and trying to cast something, anything . . .but my magic's not working and I can't stop it . . ." He shivered.  "I'm useless . . .and I wake up yelling and feeling like I'm going to sick up all over.  I know it's not real, I do, but I can't help feeling all torn apart inside . . .because it might have happened . . .we came so damn close to dying . . .so many times . . .once I . . .even . . ." Harry trailed off, not wanting to go there, back to the time when he was possessed by the dagger and had nearly killed his mentor.  "If . . .if he was gone . . .I don't know what I'd do . . .that's why I started taking the Dreamless Sleep, because I couldn't stop dreaming about that . . .or Voldemort torturing him and then killing him . . .I couldn't take it . . ."

More tears flowed down his face and Sirius hugged him. "I know, kid. I had the same dreams after old Snake-Face murdered James and Lily.  I always felt guilty that I couldn't save them, that I should have known Peter was a traitor . . .I watched them die over and over in my dreams . . ."

"Me too," Remus added quietly.

As did I, Severus said silently, standing in the doorway with the tea tray. He had come in during Harry's recitation and frozen. He was relieved that finally the boy had started talking and releasing some of the poison that had festered inside him. Finally Harry was beginning to let his guard down. But he also felt unaccountably jealous, just a bit, that the Marauders had been able to succeed where he had failed. He hated feeling inferior to them, he had been made to feel that way too many times in the past.  But then he reminded himself that this was for Harry, and if it helped his son, he ought to be grateful for it.

He made a gesture and the tea tray floated through the air and settled on the nightstand. None of the wizards even looked up. 

Harry continued. " . . .that's why I didn't want to talk about the dreams with him . . .because I thought he'd think I was an idiot . . .because he was alive and yet my stupid brain kept insisting he wasn't . . .I was acting like a stupid little baby. I thought they would go away if I ignored them, or tried to, but . . ."

"Ignoring the problem never makes it go away . . ." Sirius advised.  "That was one nightmare, what were some other ones . . .?"

Harry gathered up his courage and began to tell Sirius about their retrieving of the Dagger of Discord. He felt as if he was pulling long thorns from his mind, and they came away spotted crimson and he bled from the wounds they left behind. But despite the pain, it felt . . .relieving to talk about what had happened upon their quest.  Not good, for reliving those memories was not something he wanted to do, but rather something he needed to do.  It was rather like cleansing an infected cut, you hated doing it, but it had to be done.

He had to pause when he came to the part where the dagger had convinced him to stab Severus, his breath was coming in hitching sobs by then.  "I can't . . ." he whimpered.

"Yes, you can," Sirius encouraged. "I can guess what happened next, but you need to talk about it."

"Why?" Harry asked plaintively. "If you know what happened . . .and I know it . . ."

"Because it's obviously hurting you still," said his godfather. "Tell me."

"I . . .I betrayed . . .I listened to the dagger . . .I thought he was the enemy . . ." Word by word he told Sirius of the moment when he fell utterly beneath the spell of the ancient evil artifact and stabbed Severus, almost killing him.  "If . . .if the Witherspoons hadn't helped us. . .he would have died . . .and it would have been my fault . . .!" He buried his face in Sirius' shoulder. "He said he forgave me, but . . ."

"But you didn't forgive yourself," Sirius guessed. "Don't you think you should now?"

After a moment there came a muffled noise from Harry.  One that sounded like "yes".

"Good. That's a start."

Remus sensed Severus lurking in the doorway and since Sirius seemed to be doing all right so far, decided to go and talk with the other man, for he was hurting as well and probably could do with a sympathetic ear. He recalled how much Nymphadora had helped him in the early days with Sirius, how good it had felt to be able to vent his frustrations to someone who would listen and not judge him.

"Severus, I need to ask you something," he began, drawing the Potions Master away from the room and down the hall to the library, liberating a cup of tea and a scone off the tea tray as he did so.

Once they were safely in the library, and in no danger of being overheard, Severus frowned at the werewolf and said briskly, "What is it, Lupin? You going to ask me if Harry can come stay at Grimmauld Place? You think that I'm not fit to take care of him, is that it?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. Apparently, Harry wasn't the only one with insecurity issues in the house. "Not at all, Severus. Matter of fact, that would be the worse thing we could do, take Harry from his home and put him somewhere else. That would make things worse. Harry needs familiarity and structure right now, and he especially needs you."

"Does he?" Severus demanded, struggling to keep the hurt within him and out of his voice. "It would seem more like he needs you and . . .and his godfather."

"Right now he does." Remus conceded. "Don't get jealous, Severus. We're not trying to replace you. You're still his father."

"Not a very good one," the other muttered bitterly. "Look at what almost happened. I failed him."

"No, you didn't. You couldn't have known what he was doing.  You're not God, Severus Snape."

"No doubt you're thinking how much better James Potter would have been than I am," Severus retorted bitterly.

"That's unfair, Severus.  I can't say for sure how any of us would have handled it.  The James I knew might not even have recognized the signs.  Count yourself lucky you did and got there in time.  You saved him, Severus.  And quit blaming yourself for Harry's own desperate stupidity.  You're doing the best you can.  Better than I could. Or Sirius."

"Then why wouldn't he come to me, Remus? I was right here, damn it, and he turned to a potion instead! What does that say about me?"

"It says that he admires you so much he'd rather try anything other than appear less than perfect in front of you," Remus said bluntly. "That's what he told Sirius anyhow.  That he's afraid of disappointing you, he thinks he has to be perfect son, like you deserve. Otherwise he's nothing but a burden."

"He told you that? But I've never said-"

"You didn't. But those bloody relatives of his did.  They convinced him that unless he was perfect, like their son, he wasn't worthy of respect or love or anything else."

"Bastards!" snarled the Potions Master.  Then he said hoarsely, "I remember what that's like.  I remember it like it was yesterday. Trying so hard to please a man who will never give damn, and still you try, because maybe this time it'll be different . . . But I never asked him to be that way. I'm not my father!"

"I know," Remus soothed, hearing the terrible anguish just beneath the other's words.  "But Harry has an instinctive need to please people, especially people he admires.  He also was scared that the media would find out about his problem and splash it all over the papers. He's frightened of people finding out and being humiliated. You know how that is, you know how fragile boys his age are about their self-esteem. How you'd rather die than get humiliated."

Severus nodded.  "No one knows that better than I do, Remus.  The Marauders taught me well."

Remus winced, for Severus' tongue was as sharp as ever.  But he couldn't blame the man. They had put him through hell when they were in school. "I'm sorry for that. More than you'll ever know. I should have tried harder to stop them. Instead I just watched."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Now who's being an idiot?" he asked with a sardonic smile.  "You weren't their father, merely their best friend. Who had his own secret to keep."

"I owe you still for that." Remus said, meeting the other's eyes. "You could have turned me in anytime. Instead you kept your silence when all it would have taken was a word in the right ear and you could have gotten payback for every stupid damn prank we ever pulled on you. I always wondered why you didn't."

"Because I knew what it was like to be trapped and forced into something beyond your control.  I would have cheerfully thrown Potter and Black to the authorities, but not you. You couldn't help yourself.  I might be Slytherin, but I'm not unprincipled.  Albus never did understand that about me, even then. I wanted them punished, not you."

"Well, I'm grateful for it," said the Auror sincerely. "And even more grateful for you offering me back my old teaching position. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage being an Auror and spending time with Nymphadora.  We're getting married in the fall."

"Congratulations," Severus offered.  "You were the best man for the job.  The children like and respect you."

"Thank you, Severus. I'll send you an invitation to the wedding. Sorry for getting off track. About Harry, I think you ought to talk to him after we leave, let him know you're there for him and everything. He needs reassurance that you still love him despite, as he puts it, making your life a screwed up mess."

"He said that?"

Remus nodded.  "That's part of the reason why he wouldn't tell you anything. Because he felt he didn't deserve anything more from you. You'd done too much. Not because he didn't trust you."

"Done too much?" he repeated in astonishment. "Lupin, I haven't done near enough, by my lights."

"But Harry doesn't know what it's like to have a normal parent or a normal life," reminded the werewolf.  "Adopting him and letting him live here and feeding him is his version of heaven, I'd say."

"Yes.  It would be. Like it was mine," he whispered.  "Hogwarts was my heaven."

"Same here. Hogwarts was where I made my first real friends."  Remus said, smiling reminiscently. 

"Perhaps you should have been more discriminating." Snape teased. "That was a joke," he added, seeing the werewolf begin to scowl.

The werewolf chuckled. "You have such a rapier wit, Snape. Touche."

"One does one's humble best." Severus said slyly. "More tea?"

Lupin considered. "I . . .all right."

Severus gestured and the teapot appeared in the library and refilled Lupin's cup.  "You have no idea what it was like going into his room and seeing him passed out on the bed and not being able to wake him.  I thought my heart was going to stop. It was the same feeling I had fifteen years ago when I found his mother inside the wreckage at Godric's Hollow. All I kept thinking to myself was No, he can't be dead. It's Lily all over again. Only worse."

Remus gave him a sympathetic glance. "You're right. I can't imagine it. Poor kid! And you too for having to think even for a minute that your son was dead.  I would have been out of my head."

"The only thing keeping me from losing it was trying to figure out how he'd done it. And then treating him for his overdose of Angel Dream." Snape admitted.  "Though after I had gotten him out of danger, I felt like walloping him for being so bloody impulsive."

"I don't doubt it. He scared you half to death. You ought to feel proud of yourself, Severus.  You took a kid that's not yours and are trying to raise him like your own, and a kid with a lot of emotional trauma besides." Remus said.

"He had no one else. It was the right thing to do." Severus said simply.

And you came to love him like your own, Remus thought, knowing that unspoken reason was what had made all the difference in both their lives.  "Harry knows that. You might not think so right now, but he does.  If we work together, we can put Harry back together again."

"All the king's horses and all the king's men . . ." Severus quoted.

"Or one werewolf and two Animagi." Remus said, smiling. He stood. "Shall we go and see how Sirius is doing with our impulsive student?"

"By all means," Severus reopened the secret panel and gestured for Remus to preceed him. Then he added quietly, "I think you missed your calling, Lupin. You should have been a counselor."

Remus laughed softly.  "No thanks, Severus. Who would trust a werewolf?"

"Harry. Sirius. Myself. Miss Tonks." Then they had reached Harry's room and stopped talking.

"How goes the interrogation?" Remus queried lightly as he stepped back across the threshold.

"Pretty well, all things considered," Sirius replied, he was still sitting on Harry's bed with his godson next to him.  "We've made some progress."

"Glad to hear it," Remus said. "Have you discussed some kind of regular appointment schedule, or is that too complicated for you, Padfoot?"

"Bite me, Moony." Sirius retorted.

Remus chuckled. "Not just yet." He looked at Harry and Severus.  "How about Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Satudays? Unless you want your weekend free?"

Harry thought about it. "That sounds okay with me."

"Fine with me. Four o'clock all right as far as the time?" Severus asked.

"Sure." Sirius said. "Anytime's a good time for me." He ruffled Harry's hair affectionately. "Get some rest and don't go drinking any more crazy potions, ya hear?"

"Yes. I won't."

"And remember to practice some of that relaxation stuff I showed you. It really works."

Harry promised he would and then the two Marauders left.

"Would you like some dinner and to sleep for a bit?" Severus queried. "There's some things I'd like to talk with you about, but if you'd rather eat first . . ."

Harry shook his head. "No. We can talk now. I'm not really hungry.  Not after that potion you gave me."

"If you want some chamomile tea," Severus said, swiftly Summoning a cup. "Here. Drink this."

Harry took the cup and drank some slowly. The warmth filled him and vanished the coldness inside of him. After drinking almost half the cup, he set it aside and looked at Severus, who was now seated in the chair Sirius had vacated. "What . . .what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Many things. But the most important thing is that you aren't any kind of burden or a problem to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of, because we all need help at one time or another.  And if Black and Lupin can help you, you'll have sessions with them for as long as you need to.  Until you've beaten this thing."

"I . . .I don't know if I can."

"You can, Harry. Believe it. You defeated the worst dark wizard ever. You'll come through this too." Severus said sincerely. "But you don't have to do it alone. We'll all help you."

Harry bit his lip. "I don't want you to give up your summer because of me. I don't want to be a bother."

"Harry, the only thing that would bother me is if you don't come to me," Severus said exasperatedly. "You're my son, and you are worth more than a summer holiday.  More than anything."

"But you're angry with me for . . .for using potions. I know you are."

"Yes, I am, because you acted irresponsibly and nearly killed yourself. Not because you're depressed.  I'm angry at myself for not realizing what you were up to and stopping you before it got to that point. I should have known, I was like you once."

"But it wasn't your fault, Sev!" Harry cried. "You said it yourself. It was mine, I was stupid! I didn't think and I hurt you. I'm sorry."

"And I forgive you, you foolish fledgling," Severus said, then he pulled his son to him and hugged him hard.  "But if you ever scare me like that again, I shall . . .clip your wings and ground you till you're twenty-one, d'you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now quite apologizing. I'm sick of hearing it.  I will love you forever, no matter if you're a screwed up mess or not.  You don't have to be perfect, I don't want a perfect son.  I want you just the way you are, you impudent impulsive brat.  Whyever would you think otherwise?"

"I don't know. I just . . ."

"Perhaps you thought that because that's what your deranged uncle told you? Or your nasty aunt? Hmmm?"

"Maybe."

"Well, I'm not them and nothing you do will ever make me cast you out or wish for another child.  Do you hear me? Because if not, I shall make certain to repeat it everyday until you get it through your thick skull.  Maybe I'll make you write it five hundred times as well, just to make sure it's imprinted in your stubborn mind."

Harry made a face at him. "You're mean."

"Yes. I am a horrible nasty grouch who lives to torture you, just like every other father does their teenagers, and I will love you even when you think you are unloveable, Harry Potter-Snape. I promise you on my Name and my magic."

For once, Harry had nothing to say. So he hugged Severus instead, and felt a part of the darkness within him retreat a few more feet, driven back by the pure untainted love of a father for his chosen son.  The demon within was not defeated, but it had been driven back. For now.    

After a long time, Harry drew away, mindful of his adolescent dignity, and said, "I'm hungry now, Sev."

"I figured as much when I heard your stomach growling. Get dressed and come downstairs. I'll have dinner on the table."

Harry didn't need to be told twice. He hurried into the bathroom and scrubbed his face, washing away all traces of tears.  As he did so, his mind returned to a question that had been plaguing for some time, one that had nothing to do with his nightmares or his claustrophobia or fear of the dark. Is it time for me to stop calling him by his name and start calling him "Father", or "Da" or something? I mean, he is my father in all ways except one, and not just my mentor anymore. He calls me "son". 

It was definitely food for thought.  Speaking of food . . .his stomach growled loudly.

Harry shifted into Freedom and flew down to alight on the back of the chair in the kitchen.  He gave a red-tail's impudent screech and Severus whirled from stirring the gravy for sliced roast beef sandwiches on the stove.  

"Freedom! Kindly warn me next time, before you give me a heart attack." Severus shook a finger at the hawk. "Did you wash your face and hands?"

Freedom blurred into Harry, who walked over and showed the older man his hands. "Look, all clean, Da."

Severus froze. Had he really heard . . .? "Did you just call me Da?"

"Umm . . .yes.  I figured if you could promise to love me no matter how much I make you want to strangle me, I could start calling you something more respectful than Sev. I mean, you are my father and not just my mentor. Da is what Vince calls his father, it sounds more personable than "father" and I still think of James as "dad", so . . .do you want me to stop?"

Severus shook his head. "No. I was just . . .surprised, that's all.  I had gotten used to Sev."

"If you're uncomfortable, Sev-"

"I didn't say that, son. It's your choice, as I said when I first adopted you."

"Okay, Da." He sniffed the air. "What are you cooking?"

"You'll see when you sit down and eat it. Get!" He shooed Harry to his seat with a light swat to his backside.

Harry went, concealing a smile. It was a rare day when one managed to surprise Severus Snape and he wanted to savor it for as long as possible. He slid into his seat and Summoned drinks and silverware while Severus was fixing their plates. And for the first time since the nightmares had returned, he felt a glimmer of hope, that he would come out of this ordeal whole in mind and body.