12 Grimmauld Place

London:

Sirius cast a quick glance at the slumbering Remus on the couch before attempting to slip past him and use the Floo.  He felt a slight pang of guilt at his actions, but not enough to stop him from acting upon his impulses.  Really, the insistence that Mind Healer placed upon being supervised and all was a load of codswallop! Sure, he had been a little touched after the curse had been removed, Healer Sandrilas had said it would take some time to get over the effects of it.  That Bellatrix was a nasty piece of work, cousin or no.  But I feel fine now! I can go out for a time, by myself.  I'm not some bleeding child that needs to held by the hand, Sirius argued with himself.  I'm safe now, I haven't had a flashback in weeks.  Well . . .a week, but who's counting?

The Animagus brushed a lock of his hair out of his eyes, he had cut it since returning to live at Grimmauld Place with Remus.  He was dressed in a casual set of gray pants and a red shirt with an open necked collar.  He was still thin, the after effects of the curse had robbed him of his appetite, though Remus was doing his best to encourage him to eat, especially disgustingly healthy things like vegetables and fruit.  Sirius wrinkled his nose.  Who cared about eating healthy?

When I was in Azkaban, I lived off of watery gruel and beef jerky twice a week, and bread and drippings.  They couldn't be bothered serving vegetables to prisoners who might have died, not that I cared, I've never liked vegetables all that much.  And I survived without all that blasted nutrition nonsense.  Sirius snorted derisively, and continued making his way stealthily towards the jar of Floo powder on the mantle. 

His hand had just closed upon it when Remus woke up and said sharply, "Ahem! And just where do you think you're going, Mr. Black?"

"Who, me?" asked Sirius, shoving the jar of Floo powder behind his back and trying his best to look totally innocent. "I was just . . .checking out the fireplace, Moony.  To make sure it was . . .uh . . .drawing properly."

"Nice try, Sirius.  Tell me another one.  What's that you're hiding behind your back?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Moony."

"Right. Show me your hands, Sirius."

"What for?" He switched the jar of Floo powder from one hand to the other and held out his left hand.

Remus frowned.  "What about the other one?"

Sirius held out his other hand.  "See? Nothing in them."

"Both hands together now."

"What is this, an interrogation ?" Sirius grumped.

"Show ‘em." Remus ordered, rising and coming over to stand in front of him, looking for all the world like an exasperated parent with a mischievous toddler.

Slowly, Sirius pulled both hands out from behind his back.  They were empty.

Remus scowled.  He was almost certain his friend had swiped the Floo powder from off the mantle, since it was currently missing.  Then he recalled a prank where Sirius and James had once hidden contraband Zonkos products down their . . .

"Turn around, smartarse!"

Sirius backed up.  "Ah, now wait a minute, Moony! I told you, I have nothing to hide, now why won't you believe me?"

"Because I know you, Sirius Orion Black.  Anytime you start playing innocent means you're up to something." He made a twirling motion with his hand.

"Aww . . .bloody hell!" Sirius whined and turned around.

"Ah ha!" Remus cried and snatched the Floo jar from out of Sirius' waistband.  "What do you call this, mister? Plan on making a visit to St. Mungos?"

"I don't know how it got there!"

"Oh yeah, it just happened to jump off the mantle and ended up in your pants, right?" Remus shook his head in disappointment.  "Did you really think you could sneak past me, Padfoot? I'm a werewolf, for Godsake!"

"So?  I need to get out, Moony.  I hate being stuck in here all the time."

"Sirius . . ." Remus groaned.  "You know you're not supposed to go out alone."

"I only wanted to go for a walk, Moony.  A ten minute stroll down the street, where's the harm in that?"

"Sirius, you know why you can't leave unsupervised. Last time I let you outside by yourself as a dog to get some air, you nearly bit a child, remember?" Remus asked, his hands on his hips.  "Padfoot, you're not well-"

"I am too!  That was last week! I'm better now, Healer Sandrilas said so."

"How can you say that, Siri, when you're still having flashbacks and when you get them, you're as unpredictable as a wounded dragon?  I'm sorry, but if you want to go out, you're going to have to put up with me.  It's for your own good."

"You sound like my mother," grumbled his best friend.  "She always said that when she was trying to get me to take disgusting potions.  I'm not a little kid, damn it all!"

"You're certainly acting like one," pointed out the werewolf.  "Look, I know it's tough, but trying to sneak away like that isn't going to help you, it'll only make things worse.  You'd feel horribly guilty if you hurt a kid or some innocent person, I know you would.  And right now, no matter how well you feel, you aren't safe to be let out on your own."

"You don't know that, Remus! At least let me try."

"I'm sorry, Siri.  But I can't take the chance."

Sirius scowled angrily.  "You don't trust me, is that it? You think I'm crazy, don't you? Well, I'm not! Sn-Severus removed the curse.  I'm fine!"

"That's a lie, old friend, and you and I both know it." Remus said quietly.  "You might not be under the influence of that Manaed Curse anymore, but the aftereffects still linger.  It happens, mate.  Nobody's blaming you.  But you have to trust us.  Healer Sandrilas said it's not safe for you to go anywhere alone just yet."

"What does he know? He's not me."

"True, you stubborn bonehead.  He's much smarter than you." Remus teased.

"Ha ha.  Real funny.  You just don't trust me."

"Do you trust yourself?"

"I . . ." Sirius hesitated.  "What kind of a question is that?"

"An important one.  Care to answer it?"

Sirius looked away.  Much as he didn't want to admit it, Remus was right to be so cautious.  That day last week. . .he had been frisky and delighted to run around outside without being "kept an eye on" and then that kid had come up to him and one minute he had been enjoying a good scratch behind the ears and the next . . . he was somewhere else, and Bellatrix was taunting him and he growled and started to snap at her . . .except she hadn't been there . . .and he had nearly bitten that little girl . . .if Remus hadn't come out right then . . ."You're right.  I almost hurt a little kid.  I don't trust myself.  And that's not how it should be.  I don't want to be a . . .dangerous animal that ought to be put down, Remus.  Damn Bella to hell!  Why didn't Snape kill her when he had the chance?"

"Because you can't just go around killing people, no matter how much they might deserve it," Remus sighed.  "I heard he kicked her arse good though, before he weaseled the countercharm out of her."

"Good, but I still have a score to settle with my beloved cousin," Sirius sneered.

Remus clapped him on the shoulder.  "You'll get a chance someday, Sirius.  But in the meantime, you ought to concentrate on following Healer Sandrilas's orders and getting well.  Now, if you want to go out for a walk, I'll gladly take you.  But you shouldn't  have tried to sneak out behind my back.  That was very irresponsible and could have had serious consequences." Remus shook a reproving finger at him.

Sirius winced.  Remus's lectures always tended to make him feel ashamed, much like his father Orion's used to.  "Okay, I was stupid.  You gonna make me stand in the corner and go to bed without supper?"

Remus cocked his head at him.  "Maybe I should.  Too bad you're too old for me to tan your arse, mister."

"Shove it, Moony!" growled Sirius.  "I'm sick and in pain, you ought to humor me."

"You're a pain, all right.  A perfect pain in the arse.  Let's have some lunch, then we can go out for a walk in the park.  How's that?"

Recognizing a compromise when he heard one, Sirius agreed.  "Fine.  But do I have to go as a dog or a human?"

"Your choice.  C'mon, let's eat.  I'm starving."

* * * * * *

After lunch, Remus and Sirius went for a walk, as Remus had promised.  Sirius had opted to go out as Padfoot, saying that he could run around and not look like an idiot, plus it was a good way for Remus to scope out chicks.  "Girls dig guys with dogs, buddy.  This could be a golden opportunity for you, Moony."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sirius, Merlin help you! I'm a werewolf, what girl would go out with me once she found that out?  And how would I explain to her that my dog was actually my best friend?"

"Well, Lupin, you know what they say.  A dog is man's best friend."

"Sure you are.  Do me a favor, Siri, and try and behave."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means keep your nose out of girl's skirts."

"Moony! I've never sniffed a girl's skirt!"

"No? How about Mandy Armstrong during sixth year?"

"Well, that was different! I was a kid back then."

"Uh huh.  And a part of you still is."

"Killjoy.  I wonder how Harry is getting on with old Severus? Now there's another one who needs to learn to have fun."

"Oh, I think he's fine.  Even if Severus is rather . . .serious, Harry seemed to be quite happy to be going to his home for the summer."

"With the way those Muggles treated him, who could blame him?" Sirius growled.  "I just hope Snape's not keeping him chained up in his lab brewing 24/7."

"I'm sure Severus is treating Harry decently."

"Yeah, but I'd like to talk to him and make sure."

"Maybe you can write him a letter later on.  I'm sure he'd like to hear from you."

"Think so? I thought maybe he wouldn't care now that he's got Snape for a guardian," Sirius said, somewhat jealously.

Lupin eyed his friend.  "Why, Sirius, I do believe that you are . . .jealous.  Jealous that maybe Harry likes Severus and respects him more than he does you."

"That's not true.  I'd never want Harry to look at me like some kind of . . .authority figure.  That's the ultimate in boring.  I don't want to be a stick-in-the-mud all stuck on rules like Snape is.  I want to be there for Harry, I want him to be able to talk to me, like he can't to Snape.  But because of these bloody flashbacks I can't do that."

The wistfulness in Sirius's tone made Remus's heart ache.  And he too wished Bellatrix LeStrange six feet under or burned upon a pyre.  "I wish you could be that too, Siri.  And one day I have every confidence that you will be.  But until then you need to follow the Healer's orders.  Write to Harry and ask him how his summer's going if it'll make you feel better."

"I'll do that.  And thanks, Remus."

"Don't mention it." Remus rose.  "C'mon.  Let's go for a walk.  We could both use the exercise."

* * * * * *

Some ten minutes later, a big black dog chased a Frisbee that a tall man with graying hair threw high in the air.  The dog leaped up and caught it effortlessly in his mouth, then fled like a fiend around the trees in the park.  Remus grinned, happy that Sirius could still lose himself in play, especially after some of the horrific nightmares he had endured as a result of Bellatrix's curse.  

Padfoot came back and dropped the Frisbee at Remus's feet, panting happily and wagging his tail.  C'mon, Moony! Throw it harder, I can catch anything you dish out to me! He barked and lowered his front half to the ground, his brown eyes sparkling.

"Ready for it, boy?" Remus asked, grinning.  He threw the Frisbee as hard as he could.

Padfoot raced off at lightning speed, then catapulted into the air after the yellow disc.  

His jaws closed upon it and he thought triumphantly, I got it! Ha!

Then he whirled around and trotted back to Remus, tail held high.  He had forgotten how much he enjoyed running and jumping and not having to worry about people giving him odd looks.  Sometimes it was fun to just be a dog, enjoying the summer sunshine and the feel of grass under his paws.  

He hoped that the bloody flashbacks could be conquered, and resolved to try and follow Healer Sandrilas's instructions, because he wanted to be able to someday look his godson in the eye and not worry about seeing monsters.  He shook his head and returned to Remus with the Frisbee.  

You'd better be treating him decent, Snape.  Or else I might just develop an acute case of distemper and bite you one!

He perked up his ears as he approached his best friend, who was standing there chatting with a pretty woman.  Hmm.  What's this? See, old friend, who you can meet in the park?

He frisked up to Remus, wagging his tail in a friendly fashion.  Oi, Moony, introduce me to the lady, why don't ya? Then he stopped short when he recognized that the pretty woman bore the scent of Tonks, his cousin.  Oh, it's only Dora.  Too bad, Moony.

Then he stopped, because to his astonishment, Remus was smiling and laughing at Tonks, who was not turning her hair bubblegum pink for once, but had instead adopted a more sedate color of a golden blond.  It looked surprisingly good on her, and he was shocked to  see that she seemed to be enjoying herself as well.  

Well, well.  So that's the way the wind blows, eh? Remus and my little cousin. How very . . .amazing!  He sat down and listened to the two speaking about an old case Remus had once assisted in and then Tonks was speaking about Greyback, the werewolf that had turned Remus as a small boy.  Remus immediately lost his happy mien and bared his teeth.

"If you need help in bringing that one in, Dora, you can count on me.  That's one lone wolf who needs to be put down," said the other grimly.

Padfoot snarled angrily.  Damn straight.  I'll help you too.  I'll hunt him down like the beast he is.

"I'll tell Captain Shacklebolt that you offered to help hunt him down, Remus.  He's elusive all right.  How's Sirius?"

"Getting better.  Why don't you ask him yourself?" He gestured to Padfoot.

Tonks grinned.  "Hiya, Padfoot? How's tricks?"

Padfoot barked and wagged his tail.  Hi, Dora! Looking good, kid.  He nudged at the Frisbee.  Want to play?

Tonks laughed and threw the Frisbee.  "He seems like he's happier now. Does that mean the spell's wearing off?"

"Yes, the aftereffects are gradually fading.  According to Mind Healer Sandrilas, Sirius should be fully mended in a month or so."

"Good.  Glad to hear it.  Nobody deserves what my aunt did to him," Tonks said softly, and her eyes flashed.  "I hope someday we can bring her in, she should be locked up like the beast she is."

"You'll get no argument from me there," said Remus.  Then he cleared his throat and asked, shyly, "Would you like to . . .uh . . .have dinner some night, Dora?"

"Why yes, Remus, I'd love to? Where? At your place or mine?"

"Can you cook?"

"Yes."

"Then we'd better eat at your place.  I don't want you dying of food poisoning." Remus said, and Tonks laughed.

Padfoot trotted over to them, amusement dancing in his brown eyes.  Attaboy, Moony.  It's about time! You need a good woman, mate.

"Gotta run, my break's almost up," Tonks said suddenly, regretfully.  "See ya around, Moony." She stood on tiptoe and kissed the werewolf lightly and then she was gone, Apparating back to the Ministry, leaving a rather pleasantly bewildered werewolf behind wearing an astonished and tender smile.

Padfoot came up and nudged his nose under Moony's hand.  Remus ruffled his ears and said, "Guess you were right, old man."

Of course I was.  I'm a dog, I know how to spot a good relationship from a mile away. Then he jumped up and licked the werewolf's face, making Remus grimace and scold him for drooling.  Seeing his friend happy made him hope that soon he would be mended and be able to go back to his old job as an Auror, as he was meant to be.

He also wanted Harry to be proud of him, for Remus was right in a way.  He had seen the way Harry had looked at Snape, with admiration and respect.  He wanted the boy to look at him that way, to prove to him that he wasn't just an immature bully, that he could be a respectable member of the community.  Harry's opinion mattered to him, it was because of his godson that he had made peace with his rival Snape, and made him resolve to turn his life around.  So he could be a decent godfather to the boy, as his best friend had wished.  

The road may be long, but I'll come to the end of it someday.  And then I'll be able to look you in the eye, Harry. An instant later he flipped the Frisbee up into the air with his nose and caught it on his nose, making some kids who were watching smile and clap their hands.  

"What a cool dog!"

"Yeah, he ought to be in the circus!"

Padfoot lifted his head and barked.  That's me, the one and only, utterly amazing Sirius Black!

Beside him, Remus just shook his head.  Some things never changed.