Never Alone by Julz
Summary: Severus Snape is a complicated man, but when it comes to protecting Harry Potter's life, there is nothing more simple than succeeding. When Severus finds himself caring for the boy after an attack, how will their relationship change? Snape-Harry mentor fic.
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Arthur, Bellatrix, Draco, Dudley, Dumbledore, Fred George, Ginny, Hagrid, Hermione, Lucius, McGonagall, Molly, Neville, Original Character, Petunia, Remus, Ron, Shacklebolt, Sinistra, Tonks, Vernon, Voldemort, Wormtail
Snape Flavour: Canon Snape, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Loving, Out of Character Snape, Overly-protective Snape
Genres: Angst, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: Adoption, Animagus!Snape, Kidnapped, Pregnancy, Sibling Addition, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Takes Place: 6th summer, 6th Year, 7th summer
Warnings: Alcohol Use, Character Death, Neglect, Out of Character, Profanity, Rape, Romance/Het, Romance/Slash, Self-harm, Suicide Themes, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 62 Completed: Yes Word count: 397611 Read: 400114 Published: 24 Jun 2009 Updated: 10 Feb 2016
Come Hell or High Water by Julz
Author's Notes:
Hey all! Sorry that this is a little bit later than I intended it to be. It’s also a bit short, but I felt like it was cut off at a good spot. I’ll be starting school again soon, so updates may slow down more as I lose time to write. Don’t worry, though! I’ll never give up on this story! I just ask for a little bit of patience as real life takes a busier turn. Thanks to all of my readers and reviewers, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

WARNING: This chapter includes a scene that may be slightly triggering for some readers, though it is not graphic in any way. Please proceed with caution!

The second term of the year was to begin in a few short days, making everyone sigh in relief. So much had happened in so little time, and Harry felt completely drained. He hoped the start of the new term would be like a new beginning, quiet and calm. He wasn’t going to hold his breath for that, however. Tonks was still missing, Aurors were resigning in protest, people were actively trying to run Fudge out of office, and things in the Snape household had been extremely tense. Harry sat in the sitting room with Draco after breakfast, listening to the raised voices coming from his parents’ room and wondering what was going on this time. He was wrapped up in his boyfriend’s arms, wincing and jumping as he heard doors slam and more shouting as Severus and Remus came down the hall.

“How can they possibly ask you to leave three days before term is to start again? You have classes to teach, students to watch over! Dumbledore is cracked, Remus! Why do you just go along with everything he asks of you? Grow a spine, Lupin, and tell him no!

“Oh you’re one to talk, Mr. Unbreakable Vow! You were the only one, Severus, so don’t you lecture me about blind faith,” Remus snapped as he carried a trunk over to the hearth and reached for the pot of floo powder.

Severus moved around his lover and blocked the hearth, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw set in a rigid line. “I am proud to have taken that Vow, Remus, as the boy is now my son. That has absolutely nothing to do with this situation, and you well know it. They have plenty of other members who have the ability and means to up and leave their lives to go on a wild goose chase; I don’t understand why they need you as well.”

Remus growled under his breath, reminding Severus that the full moon had just passed only a few days previous, and vestiges of the wolf still lingered. “Albus has reason to believe Greyback may have been involved in the abduction, Severus. I am the only werewolf in the Order, therefore the only one with any chance of getting close to him for information. I am not going to refuse to help and let there be a chance of never recovering Dora.”

Severus winced at the use of the nickname for Tonks, but otherwise seemed unmoved by Remus’ angry retort. “Oh? So on what grounds does Albus have for thinking Greyback is involved, other than the fact that he is associated with the Death Eaters? If you are the only werewolf he has access to, how could he possibly know that information? Does he know that Greyback isn’t actually a Death Eater? The Dark Lord refuses to brand half-breeds with his Mark. I don’t know what he is playing at, but I think Dumbledore is deliberately misleading you. Who are you going to trust, Remus; me or him?”

Don’t, Severus! Don’t do this,” Remus pleaded in a heated whisper, trying his hardest to ignore the audience of the two boys, watching the fight from the sofa naught ten feet away. He had absolutely no desire to answer that question, and he did not intend to.

The Potions Master seemed to deflate slightly, his arms falling heavily to his sides. He knew he wasn’t going to win this one, and he was just as hurt as he was angry. “Just get out, Remus.”

“Please, Severus, you must understand – ”

“I said, get out,” Severus hissed, glaring at the man before him so hard, it was hard to believe they were almost as good as married.

Remus shook his head sadly, letting out a strangled breath. He had his trunk under one arm and a handful of floo powder in the other hand. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, alright? I love you, Severus.” He moved forward to give his lover a goodbye kiss, but was denied as Severus quickly turned his head and took a step sideways, allowing enough room for Remus to walk into the hearth. He felt his chest tighten as he threw down the floo powder and yelled out his destination, which remained silent because of a Fidelius charm.

Severus made a disgusted noise as he avoided the stares of the teens and stalked back down the hallway, slamming the door to his bedroom closed behind him. He was in a right state, and he did not need to be around his son while this riled up, lest he say something stupid that he’d deeply regret once he had his proper wits about him.

Draco pulled Harry even closer to him, feeling the Gryffindor shake and jump quite violently as the door slammed. “It’s alright, Harry. They’re a married couple, or at least as good as; fights like this are common. My parents used to fight over the stupidest things, but they always got on again after they both had time to cool off.”

Harry shook his head sadly, wondering idly if he’d ever even see Remus again. He had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t. “Severus is right though, Draco. Remus should have more faith in Severus. He knew even during the summer that Dumbledore was starting to lose his grip. Where does the blind faith end? When do you start trusting your instincts and going with your gut?”

“Maybe he was, Harry. Maybe his instincts were telling him that, despite Professor Dumbledore’s declining wits, it was important to follow his orders anyways. I don’t understand most any of it, so I’ll not comment any further, but I don’t think you need to worry about the rift between Remus and Sev being anything more than a lover’s spat. They’re both much too passionate to let one fight get the best of their relationship,” Draco said with a shrug. He placed a chaste kiss on Harry’s lips, relaxing when the Gryffindor responded passionately, melting in his arms.

When they separated, Harry detangled himself from his boyfriend’s arms. “I think I should go check on my dad. See you and Hermione in the library at three as planned, alright?”

Draco sighed and nodded, pulling Harry close for one more kiss before gathering his cloak and leaving the dungeon quarters to study some more. He had a lot of work to do if he wanted to start the new term at the same level as his peers.

Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to stand up and walk down the hall towards the Potions Master’s room. He was a Gryffindor, for Merlin’s sake; he shouldn’t be afraid of his own father. Preparing for a sarcastic and snarky comment, Harry knocked gently on the door.

After a few seconds, the door opened of its own accord, which Harry took as invitation to enter. He slipped in through the crack in the door, and noticed the room was nearly pitch dark, save for the fire roaring in the hearth off to the side of the enormous bed in the centre of the room. This was only the third or fourth time he had ever entered Severus’ personal bedroom, and he couldn’t help but to look around curiously. He finally spotted Severus, lying on his back on the enormous bed with a pillow over his face. Harry frowned, disconcerted to see his father obviously very affected by the fight that had just taken place.

“I won’t bite, Harry,” said Severus’ muffled voice from underneath the pillow, which made Harry crack a rueful smile as he walked over to the bed, and flopped down on it beside his guardian, who didn’t remove the pillow from his face, but scooted over to provide Harry with more room.

“You, er...you alright, Dad?” Harry asked hesitantly, feeling slightly stupid as he directed the question at the earthy green and beige pillow. He let out a small sigh of relief as Severus removed the pillow from his face and held it instead against his chest.

Harry smelt a familiar scent, something he recognized immediately, but it wasn’t Severus’ usual scent of potions ingredients and freshly laundered robes. A quick look at the bedside table showed that the side Severus was currently laying on was Remus’ side, and the pillow was most definitely the werewolf’s. Harry was smelling Remus’ scent, and it made his heart clench to know that Severus was much more unsettled by the situation than even Harry had thought he was.

Severus was about to answer that he was fine, and that Harry should not concern himself, but he had little energy within himself to lie to the boy. He sighed as he clutched the pillow tighter to his chest. “I am deeply unsettled, a little shocked, incredibly angry, but mostly just...saddened. I expected a bit more loyalty, I must say.”

Harry was shocked by Severus’ open honesty, but he was glad for it as well. Severus was letting him in instead of shutting him out, as he expected. He thought about what Draco had said about Remus trusting his instincts, and decided that the Slytherin made entirely too much sense for it not to be at least partially true.

“Remus is a bleeding heart. He has compassion for everyone and everything. I’m sure he even feels sorry for the Death Eaters at times. He’s worried and concerned about Tonks, and he wants to do whatever he can to help. Maybe he’s not just doing it for Dumbledore. Maybe he’s doing it for me, or himself, or just for Tonks. Information has been extremely scarce, and I think that leaving any lead unsearched is unwise when it comes to somebody’s life. I know you want him here, safe; so do I, but Remus is not weak, and he’s not stupid. He’ll be alright, just...maybe have more faith in him, if not in Dumbledore. I think it kind of goes both ways, Dad, that whole loyalty aspect.”

Severus had turned to look at Harry, and was now positively gapping at the boy. He shook his head slowly, sitting up as he studied his son’s face in awe. “You are much too wise for your age, Harry. It’s very disconcerting, but then again it puts my heart at ease to know that you’re so intelligent.”

Harry blushed under Severus’ intense gaze and his high praise. Harry felt his heart flutter at the pride in the man’s voice; he’d always wanted a father who was proud of him. “I’m not a genius or anything; I just speak my mind.”

“And that takes no small amount of courage and intelligence, Harry, to speak from the heart like that. You are much smarter than you give yourself credit for. You’re right; I overreacted because I’m so scared something is going to happen to Remus. I’m positively terrified that he may not be coming home,” Severus said quietly, hating how weak and vulnerable he sounded, even if it was just in front of his son, and even more so because of that.

Harry sat up and looked his father straight in the eye, his throat tightening as he saw the naked fear in the man’s eyes. “I’m scared too, Dad. It’s ok to be frightened. Just have faith in Remus, even if you can’t trust Dumbledore’s instincts right now. Trust that Remus knows what he’s doing and that he’ll do everything he can to come back to us,” Harry said firmly, knowing that the werewolf was nothing if not extremely strong-willed and loyal to those he loved. He’d be back, come Hell or high water.

“What would I do without you, Harry?” Severus sighed as he pulled his son close and wrapped him in a tight embrace. He knew he’d be nothing and nowhere without the teen who clung tightly to him, soaking up the comfort from the hug like an extremely dry sponge.

“I ask myself the same thing about you every day,” Harry admitted, smiling when he felt the rumble of Severus’ rare, soft chuckle against his chest.

Much too wise for your age, I must reiterate.”

S~S~S~S

New Years Eve arrived at last, and with it came a massive snow storm that kept everyone indoors and close to the fires. The usually festive day seemed somehow darkened and unimportant as Harry watched his father disappear into a quiet daze of despair, no matter how hard the Potions Master tried to hide it. Even after their initial talk following Remus’ departure, Severus had still been in a bit of a funk and nothing Harry did or said seemed to help. Draco had reassured Harry over and over again that things would be ok, but that didn’t help much while Harry watched his father lock himself up in his room with a bottle of firewhiskey.

“I’m sure he’s drinking himself into a stupor every night, and he nearly slept till noon yesterday. It’s not like him, and I’m worried,” Harry confided in Hermione, who was drawing up a stricter studying schedule for Draco while the Slytherin worked on sixth year Transfiguration sitting, in all places, the Gryffindor common room.

Hermione frowned and crossed out a line on the schedule, rearranging the subjects to her liking. It seemed impossible, squeezing an entire semester of magical education into a few short weeks, but Hermione and Draco had managed to get most of it done. Draco was now only a few chapters behind in each class, and was working extremely hard to catch up before term began again.

“Have you talked to him about it, Harry? Maybe it’s not just Remus’ absence that’s bothering him.”

Harry sighed heavily as he slumped back in his seat. He’d tried talking to the Potions Professor numerous times over the last three days, but he was brushed off, lied to, and even ignored. He’d never seen Severus so upset before, and he never expected a spat with Remus to affect him so much.

“Of course I’ve tried talking to him, ‘Mione. He doesn’t listen to a word I say, and he’s even been ignoring Dumbledore’s requests to talk to him. He’s right livid with the Headmaster. I think maybe it’s because Remus hasn’t sent any word yet of where he is or how he’s doing. I think it’s just Severus’ way of worrying, but it’s driving me bonkers.”

Draco finished up his essay, using a spell to dry the ink quickly before rolling it up. He looked at the clock and realized it was much too late to take the essay to Professor McGonagall, so he stashed it away in his book bag for the time being.

“I told you before, Harry, things will be fine. You worry entirely too much. So maybe Severus is drinking a bit; oh well. We’re all still on break, and he needs a little bit of tension relief. Since his other form of tension relief is currently unavailable, he’s getting it from some firewhiskey. No shame in that,” Draco said with a shrug, laughing at the matching horrified looks on Harry and Hermione’s faces.

“Draco! I’d rather you not talk about my parents’ sex life, thanks. I think there may be something else wrong that he won’t talk about...Maybe...maybe he thinks that Remus cares more about Tonks than about him. I mean obviously that’s a stupid thing to think, considering Tonks is a girl, and Remus is practically married, but when it comes to matters of the heart, logic sometimes goes out the window,” said Harry, giving Draco a pointed look.

Hermione sighed as she passed the study schedule to Draco. “Don’t I know that. You know even after everything that has happened with his dad, Ron is still bitter about you living with Professor Snape and befriending Draco. I think he’d have a litter of kneazles if he knew you two were actually dating.”

Harry frowned as Draco plopped down on the couch beside him and snuggled up to his side, resting his head on his shoulder. “He is? We haven’t really talked about it at all, but I thought things were ok now between us. Guess I should have gotten the hint when his Christmas gift never showed up.”

“Well, he said that he would set aside his feelings for his family’s sake, but yet he won’t set aside his feelings for your sake. I tried to explain everything to him, especially about the adoption and the wards, but he just seems to think you’ve gone round the twist and turned to the Dark Side or something. I think, perhaps, that he’s just jealous and hurt. He thinks he’s lost his best friend.”

“The only reason the Weasel has lost his best friend is because he’s an immature, bigoted arse. He did this to himself, so he can feel all wounded if he wants to.” Draco shrugged as Harry gave him a disapproving look.  

“What? He had no reason to treat you the way he has, and I’m disinclined to feel any sympathy for him, aside from losing his father. I know how it feels to lose a parent, and it’s not pleasant, but he’d make things a lot easier on himself if he’d get over his misconceptions about Severus and I.”

“Did you just call Ron ‘the Weasel’?” Hermione asked with a strangely happy expression. Harry and Draco both gave her incredulous looks before Harry caught on and smiled at his boyfriend. Draco was even more confused now.

“Er...yes? What is wrong with you two? Shouldn’t you be yelling at me for making fun of him?” the blonde asked as he pulled away from Harry to get a better look at his expression. Nope, still slightly amused and somehow proud.

“You obviously remembered something! That’s what you used to call him all the time, Draco. Where’s your Rememberall?” Harry asked excitedly.

“It’s in my room, but I still haven’t really figured out how to use it quite yet.” Draco yawned and sat up, stretching high over his head as he realized just how tired he was. He’d done entirely too much studying that day. “I’m exhausted; I think I’m going to head to bed.”

“But Draco, it’s New Years Eve! You’ve got to stay up and give me my midnight kiss,” Harry said with a cheeky grin, earning a giggle from Hermione and a smirk from the blonde.

Draco looked over at the clock and saw that it was ten-thirty already. He shrugged as he slumped back down against his boyfriend’s side, snuggling in his warmth with a satisfied sigh. “Alright, I guess I can hang for a few more hours. If I fall asleep, just wake me up at midnight.”

Harry laughed and shook his head exasperatedly at the Slytherin. It was strange, feeling so very comfortable when this close to someone who had once been his worst enemy. He felt extremely blessed to have Draco beside him, and he hugged the blonde closer as the night wore on.

At exactly midnight, Hermione shot off a colourful array of wand sparks and cheered. Harry looked down and saw that Draco had indeed fallen asleep like he’d warned he would. He smirked as he got an idea, and shifted himself to a better angle of attack. Lifting Draco’s chin gently, Harry kissed him quite thoroughly, laughing against the Slytherin’s lips as he woke up mid-kiss and gave a soft moan as he started to respond to the kiss. Only after the tolling of the bells ended did they stop kissing.

“Happy New Year, love.”

“Yes it is,” Draco drawled as he pulled Harry into another heated kiss. They broke apart as Hermione wolf whistled at them and drew a heart with wand sparks around their heads.

“I wish someone would kiss me like that, Merlin,” Hermione joked, though really, she wished Ron had been there to celebrate with them. She frowned at the thought, wondering what the red head was doing now, or if he had simply gone to bed without celebrating at all.

Harry and Draco shared a sly look, practically reading each other’s minds as they suddenly sprang up from the couch and lunged at Hermione, who shrieked and nearly fell out of her chair. She laughed uncontrollably as both Harry and Draco kissed her on the cheek at the same time, sandwiching her in a strange tangle of limbs that turned into a group hug.

“Thanks, you two. Happy New Year!” Hermione said fondly as she hugged the two boys back, feeling slightly awkward being so open and friendly with someone who spent years insulting her lack of magical heritage and discrediting her intelligence. Draco was a different person now, and she liked who he had become. She still missed Ron a lot, but at least she had two great friends with her to help her cope.

“Happy New Year, ‘Mione!”

S~S~S~S

It was dark and incredibly too cold for a night in July. He had his thin, dirty cloak wrapped around his shoulders in a weak attempt to keep himself warm. The stench of the alley made his already roiling stomach revolt as he slumped against the brick building behind him, worn and too exhausted to keep looking for shelter. He had no idea where he was. Muggle London might as well have been a foreign country to him.

The only relief he felt was that as lost, cold, and hungry as he was, it was a million times better than being stuck in that abysmal shack with his psychotic aunt and uncle. He squeezed his eyes closed as he tried his hardest to occlude his thoughts against the memory of the last time he had seen his mother, but it never failed to come back to him in his dreams – or nightmares, rather.

There was a loud rush of music as the back door of the pub he was leaning against suddenly opened up, a group of drunk and belligerent men stumbling into the back alley. Draco tried to make himself small and unnoticeable as the men passed by, but as was inevitable, one of the more sober of the group of four spotted him curled underneath his distinctly not Muggle cloak.

“Aye, what we got here, then? Yer look too young to be a drunken bum. Where yer parents at, boy?” the man asked in a thick cockney accent that thoroughly annoyed the blonde, who was quite proud of his own posh lilt.

“None of your business. Keep moving, mister,” Draco said in his best attempt at nonchalant kindness. He was hungry and cold, yes, but he had no desire to be picked up by a bunch of drunken, paedophilic Muggles.

“I see, here. You aint got no parents, tha’s it, right? S’at mean no one will miss ya if ya sud’ly disappear?” The group of men all laughed in sick unison, even as Draco’s heart began to pound in panic. Out of the cauldron, into the fire, then.

“I don’t want any trouble, just please leave me alone,” Draco muttered as he pulled himself up off of the cold concrete and started to make his way away from the alley, praying to every deity that the men would not follow, that they would grow bored of the game and move on to harass someone else. A grimy, dry hand closed around his arm, sending cold terror down his spine as he spun around to be faced with the same man who had been taunting him.

“Not so fast, boy-o. I think yer should come home wif’ me, I do. Tha’ accent there says you’s gots a nice piece o’ tail under them strange garments. Come quietly, and I’ll think ‘bout being gentle...at first.”

Draco began to tremble, horrified that his beloved accent had betrayed him so thoroughly. He tried to yank his arm out of the man’s grip, but his weakened state was nothing compared to the burly man’s strength.

“Please don’t do this...” Draco pleaded in a last ditch effort, even though the first rule of Malfoy etiquette was that Malfoys never beg. Etiquette be damned; he was about to be defiled in the worst sort of way possible. He suddenly wished he was back on the wrong end of his aunt’s birch wand, writhing on the grimy shack floor as she sent Crucio after Crucio at him. Something told him that that would hurt much less than what he was about to experience.

The man grinned evilly at him, his yellowed and crooked teeth barred at the young blonde, who stunk of fear and exhaustion, even to the unenhanced senses. “Welcome to hell, boy-o.”

S~S~S~S

Draco sat bolt upright in bed, his breathing ragged and laboured, as if he had just run a mile. His entire body was drenched in cold sweat, even though his room was quite chilly due to the dying embers in the hearth. His stomach was in danger of emptying its contents as Draco remembered the more horrible points of the dream. The room was spinning, and Draco couldn’t make it out of bed quick enough before he wretched over the side, clutching his head desperately.

What kind of sick, twisted person would ever do those things to another human being, especially against their will? Draco’s stomach revolted once more as he finally realized that this was most likely not just some sick dream; it was a memory.

Climbing out of bed as carefully as he could to avoid his mess, Draco grabbed his wand and cleaned up before pulling his dressing gown and slippers on. He had no idea what time it was, fairly late, he was sure, but this simply could not wait until morning. He had to know for sure if his subconscious was planting disturbing nightmares from fiction, or if he had just regained the most horrible memory of his life. If anyone would know, his godfather would be the one to ask.

The Potions Master’s quarters were dark and quiet, of course, as the two present occupants were fast asleep in their own beds, hopefully experiencing much better dreams than his own. Draco carefully and quietly moved down the hall towards Severus’ bedroom and knocked lightly on the door. It only took a few moments before the door creaked open and Severus peered out, looking confused and exhausted.

“Draco? What is it?” Severus asked, noticing slightly belatedly that the boy was deathly pale and looked beyond horrified. His bed-head wasn’t that scary, was it?

“I’m sorry to wake you, Severus, but I just had the most horrible dream and...I think it might have actually been a memory returning. I was hoping you’d be able to confirm or deny that suspicion,” Draco said, trying to keep his voice calm even as he felt ill again at the thought of all of that being real.

“Well, come in I guess, and we’ll discuss it. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to confirm or deny anything, depending on the dream – ”

“Draco? Is everything alright?” Harry had slipped out into the hall, wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants and a dressing gown, hanging open even in the slightly chilly air.

Harry was the last person Draco wanted to discuss this dream with. If this was actually a memory, how could Draco ever look at his boyfriend the same again? The idea of being intimate with Harry now seemed distorted and disturbing as his memories warred with his past desires. It was all so confusing.

“I’m ok, Harry, I just had a bad dream I wanted to discuss it with Severus. You can go back to sleep, it’s alright.”

“I want to help, though. Please?”

Draco looked pleadingly at his godfather, hoping the man would pick up his line of thinking and insist that Harry go back to sleep. He was unsuccessful, however, as Severus sighed and nodded for Harry to join them. Apparently the Potions Professor had mistaken Draco’s pleading look to deny Harry, for one to include Harry in the discussion. Bugger. He trailed after Severus into the man’s room, Harry following close behind him. He tried his hardest not to flinch away, but Harry noticed his discomfort and thankfully gave him more space.

“Now, what did this dream include, exactly?” Severus asked as he sat back on his bed, his back against the headboard as both Harry and Draco took spots near the foot of the enormous bed.

Draco felt his face warm up and his insides twist unpleasantly, but he pushed through the discomfort. “I was...I was in Muggle London, lost and tired, and I stopped outside a pub in the back alley to catch my breath and rest a little bit. This group of drunken men came out of the pub and...they started taunting me. I tried to tell them to leave me alone, and I even tried to walk away, but the one who had started it all grabbed my arm and...he dragged me away to a car parked close by, and two of the other men held me down in the backseat as he drove away. They covered my head so I couldn’t see where we were going, not that I had any idea where I was anyways. Once the car stopped, they dragged me out and into a rundown flat.

“It gets kind of blurry after that, because one of the men made me drink something and my vision and hearing got really fuzzy, but...they...they stripped me and...and touched me...”

“Stop, Draco, please,” Harry chocked out, not realizing he was trembling and had tears in his eyes. He knew what this was; the memory he had seen, the very same one he had used as an anchor to pull Draco out of his coma. He had promised not to tell anyone, but now his father knew, and he had heard it straight from Draco. Something in his expression must have given him away.

“Draco, could you please excuse for a few minutes?” Severus asked, grabbing his wand from his bedside table. Draco nodded with a soft whimper as he moved off of the bed and towards the door. He was utterly horrified that the dream had indeed been a real memory after all.

Severus locked the door and silenced the room with his wand, staring at his son, who looked ill and scared. “You knew about this, didn’t you, Harry?” he asked in a carefully controlled, quiet voice.

“I saw it during an Occlumency lesson, but he made me promise – swear not to tell anyone, including you. I wanted to tell you, I even begged Draco to do it himself but he was too scared! Then the accident happened and I was the only one who knew, but I had sworn on my mother's grave that I wouldn't tell anyone,” Harry explained, feeling trapped and helpless.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to reel in his anger. He knew Harry's intentions had only been good ones, but he was horrified that his godson had gone through something like that and kept it all to himself. Would knowing about it have changed anything? Probably not, but it was the principle of the matter. Suddenly, Severus understood more clearly than ever before.

“This is the memory you used as the anchor to pull Draco out of his coma, isn't it?”

Harry nodded slowly, hoping his father would understand. Harry knew he should have told someone, but he let his burgeoning feelings for Draco take over. “I’m sorry, I know someone should have told you, but my promise and the vow Draco and I both made kept me from being able to tell you.”

“You should found another way. Now it’s probably too late to find these men and bring them to justice. You knew Draco would remember this eventually! If you would have told me, I could have better prepared him for the shock. He's terrified and absolutely horrified, and there's nothing I can do.”

“With all due respect, sir, there was really nothing you could do either way. Even if you had known and told him about it, you can't erase it or make it so it never happened. He has to live with it either way. I think you're being completely unfair.”

“Then we have something in common, Potter, because I think you've been completely unfair to Draco. Go back to bed so I can speak with Draco in peace.”

Harry wanted to protest and demand that the Potions Master see reason, but he knew that this wasn't about him, it was about Draco. He left the room without another word, nearly running into Draco in the hallway.

“Harry, what's going on? Why did Severus want to talk to you about this?" Draco asked with a bewildered expression. He'd tried to listen in, but of course the room had been charmed silent.

Harry felt his stomach churn uncomfortably as he saw how pale and confused Draco looked. The guilt started to rise in his throat, and it nearly strangled him. “I'm so sorry, Draco...I knew about what those men did to you, but – ”

“You knew? Why didn't you tell me, Harry? You knew I'd get the memory back," Draco said in earnest as tears welled up in his eyes. How could Harry keep something like that from him, just let it sneak up on him in his sleep?

“Please, Draco – ”

“I told you to go back to bed, now go,” Severus hissed as he walked into the hall and saw his godson close to falling apart.

Please, Dad..." Harry begged, annoyed that no one would let him get a word in. He felt turned upon, like he was completely alone and no one would ever believe him. He couldn't stand to be near his father or boyfriend anymore. Harry turned on his heel and, still in scant clothing and no slippers, made his way out of the dungeon quarters and towards Gryffindor tower. If anyone would understand, it was Hermione.

However, once he had entered the common room, he remembered it was the middle of the night, and Hermione was bound to be asleep. He sighed in relief as he spotted a fourth year girl sitting by the fire, scribbling away in the faint light.

“Jenicka?” Harry took a stab at her name, fairly sure he was right because he remembered her sorting four years previous. He sighed heavily as the girl looked up at him, then promptly blushed when she blushed at his lack of appropriate clothing.

“Er...H-Harry?”

“I know it's really late, but I really need to talk to Hermione. Could you go and wake her for me, please?’ Harry asked as politely as he could, cringing at the desperation in his own voice.

Jenicka sighed as she noticed his earnest expression and defeated posture. “Yeah, sure I will, Harry.” She gathered up her parchment and quills before heading up the staircase leading up to the girls’ dorms.

A few minutes later, a sleepy and worried Hermione came quickly down the stairs wrapped in her dressing gown and shuffling along in red fluffy slippers. “Harry, what's wrong? Jen said you looked quite upset.”

Harry felt extremely relieved as Hermione came closer. This, at least, was something he knew he could always count on; Hermione, concerned and always there whenever he needed her. He felt his emotions go haywire as he tried to think of what to tell her first and only ended up shaking his head, unable to explain as moisture began to burn behind his eyes. Hermione promptly wrapped her arms around him and held him close, whispering that everything would be ok. Harry just cried into her shoulder, hoping that she was right.

S~S~S~S

Harry woke to the sound of hushed voices and annoying whispers. He had no idea why it sounded like there was a crowd of girls standing in his bedroom, until he remembered that he was in the Gryffindor common room with Hermione. Asleep. On the sofa. Together. Bollocks!

Harry’s eyes sprang open and he sat up, jostling Hermione, who had fallen asleep with her head on his still embarrassingly bare chest. She sat up stretched, stopping mid-yawn when she saw a group of three fourth year girls and two fifth year boys staring and pointing. Harry gave her a pained look, already imagining the wild rumours that were going to spread now.

“What are you all staring at? You lot get to breakfast before it’s over,” Hermione commanded, extremely glad that she had the authority to do so as a Prefect. The room began to clear, but the few giggles and hushed wolf whistles foretold of rumours that neither Harry nor Hermione wanted to deal with.

“I’m sorry, Hermione. I should have gone back to the dungeons last night,” Harry sighed, wrapping his dressing gown closer to him to cover up his bare chest. Not only had they been seen asleep together on the common room sofa, but Harry had been half-naked! Great, just bloody fantastic.

Hermione offered him a gentle smile, not really caring about the rumours that would crop up over this in the least, because Harry had needed her last night, and best friends always come first. “Don’t apologize, Harry. I don’t think either of us intended to fall asleep together last night, we were just too drained to get back to our beds. I don’t care what people think; it’s none of their business anyways.”

Harry sighed in relief and returned Hermione’s smile, glad all over again that he had such a wonderful friend to turn to. “Thanks, Hermione. I was just so upset; I couldn’t stand to be near either of them anymore.” Harry had explained the entire situation to Hermione, and they had stayed up late into the night and the early hours of the morning talking it through. Harry still wasn’t sure how things were going to pan out, but Hermione had helped him come up with a plan to explain everything to both his father and Draco to hopefully get them to understand and stop feeling so betrayed.

“You’re welcome, Harry. We all need an escape sometimes. Just remember what I told you, and don’t get discouraged if things remain a little tense for a little while. I’m sure everything will smooth over. They both love you; they can’t stay mad forever.”

Harry nodded with another heavy sigh, feeling slightly more than hopeless thanks to Hermione. He figured it wouldn’t do to beat around the bush, so he’d need to talk to Draco and his father soon. “Er, Hermione? Can you do me another favour, please?”

“Anything, Harry,” Hermione said with a bright smile, laughing as he blushed slightly.

“Can you transfigure my clothes for me? I really would hate to walk through the entire castle half-naked…again.”

Hermione laughed even harder as she pulled out her wand and aimed it at Harry’s clothing, giving it a complicated twirl that turned his dressing gown into a simple black shirt, and his sleep pants into jeans. “Next time, put some clothes on. I’m sure Dumbledore wouldn’t appreciate you streaking across the castle again.”

“Oye!”

S~S~S~S

When Harry reached the dungeon quarters he shared with Severus, the door was slightly ajar, and he could hear heated voices floating out into the corridor.

“…utterly ridiculous, Albus, and you know it! He shouldn’t be out there; he should be here, getting ready for spring term to begin. He should be here with me.”

“My dear boy, there was need of him for the search. He is the only Order member that can get in with Greyback, and we had to explore all possibilities. If there is any chance that Nymphadora is with Greyback, Remus is the only one that could help her.”

“Bollocks! I can almost guarantee you that Greyback has had nothing to do with Tonks’ disappearance. He’s not smart enough to pull it off undetected. No, this was the work of someone higher up, someone with more intelligence than a common Death Eater. I can guarantee you it was an Inner Circle follower, Albus. I know what I’m talking about here; I spent twenty years learning every action and attitude of the people who support the Dark Lord. With the escaped Death Eaters on the loose, I can promise you that Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan, or Avery have her. MacNair or Mulciber may even have been able to pull it off if they had help from someone else. You find those seven, and you’ll find the Auror; mark my words.”

“It is not as simple as all that, Severus. If we knew where any of them were, would we not have already recovered Ms. Tonks? Remus made the same Oaths as everyone else when he joined the Order, and he knew what he was getting himself into. He agreed to this mission when I asked; I never twisted his arm or held him at wand point. He could have chosen to refuse, but he did not. That is not something that you should be discussing with me, but with your bond-mate.”

“Yes, well, considering my bond-mate is MIA and hasn’t sent any word of his whereabouts or well being, it’s a little difficult to discuss anything with him!

“Severus, I know you are worried and concerned for Remus’ safety, but I assure you that he is doing alright, or else I would know about it. I have my ways. If Remus has not contacted you yet, then he is in a position where he is unable to, or I’m sure he would have gotten word to you by now. In fact I’m sure you’ll hear from him as soon as he has the chance to get word to you. Now I will say again that your behaviour in the past couple of days has been unacceptable. You have a son to think about now, and you’ve been very selfish in your self-pity. Pull yourself together, Severus.”

There was silence for a long couple of minutes, but then someone spoke and Harry had to move closer to the door to hear properly. It was Severus.

“I will try to do better, Albus, but I swear on the life of my son that if anything happens to Remus, there will be hell to pay.”

“Do not threaten me, my friend. It doesn’t frighten me, nor will it guarantee Remus’ safe return. The risks he takes as an Order member are voluntary, and he knew what those risks were. Please take better care of yourself, and remember that Harry is counting on you as a father.”

“I have much to discuss with my son, so if you’ll please excuse me, Headmaster, I’ll fetch him from eavesdropping at the door.”

Bugger!

“Good day, Severus.” There was soft chuckle and the sound of flames roaring in the floo as the door opened wider, Severus frowning at him and gesturing for him to come inside. Harry blushed and followed his father into the sitting room, sitting on the sofa across from Severus’ armchair.

“I’m sorry. I heard you both talking and I didn’t want to interrupt,” Harry said in the most innocent voice he could. He knew it hadn’t worked, however, when the Potions Master scowled at him.

“So you decided to listen in on a private conversation instead. How very gracious of you, Potter,” Severus drawled, conjuring a tea service and preparing his own cup. He didn’t bother to offer any to Harry.

Harry flinched as the Potions Professor’s tone reminded him uncomfortably of the past five years and all the hell he had been through with this man; the man who was now legally his father. It hurt more than a little bit, to say the least.

“Look, Dad, I’m sorry about everything. I know I should have told you about what happened to Draco. It was a foolish mistake, but I can’t really change it now; it’s too late. I – ”

“I don’t want to hear it, Harry. I heard you the first time you said it last night. You deliberately disobeyed me last night by leaving these quarters when I distinctly told you twice to go back to bed. There are reasons that I want you here in your own room at night, not off somewhere else in the castle, doing Merlin knows what. When term begins, you are indefinitely grounded. You may go to your classes and meals, but you will do all of your studying here, including your free periods. You will come straight home after dinner and stay here. If I cannot convince you to stay here when I tell you to, then I will do it by force. Do you understand me?”

It felt like the air had been knocked out of him as Harry nodded slowly. He could feel moisture burning behind his eyes, but he tried to keep control of his emotions. He knew he was being punished for more than just leaving their quarters last night, and he felt extremely hurt that his father would not even give him a chance to fully explain, or understand that Harry had not meant any harm by what he’d done; in fact, he’d been trying to protect Draco, and had refused at first to keep the information from Severus. It wasn’t fair, but Harry had been through enough by now to know that life wasn’t fair, and there was nothing else he could do. He had to do as his father told him. It was strange, being grounded for the first time.

“Say yes or no, don’t just nod your head. Speak, boy,” Severus snapped, making Harry flinch even more as he was reminded then of his Uncle Vernon and the treatment he had endured while living with the Dursleys.

“Yes, sir, I understand. May I be excused?”

“You may. Breakfast will end in fifteen minutes, so you’d best hurry if you wish to make it.” Severus’ voice was devoid of emotion, flat and uncaring. Oh, he cared, but he couldn’t let Harry see his hurt and anger. He still had no idea what to think of the entire situation, but he knew he was angrier with Harry now than he had been in quite some time.

Harry quickly made his escape, just as the hot tears finally spilled over onto his cheeks. He had no idea it would hurt this much, disappointing his father. He had intended to speak with Draco that morning as well, but he didn’t have the heart or energy to search him out and receive the same cold-shoulder and rejection. He just couldn’t take seeing the pain in Draco’s eyes. He felt so misunderstood, and desperately wished Remus was home. The werewolf would have seen things more logically, further removed from the situation to analyse it fairly. He would have pulled Severus around, but Remus was not there. He was searching for Tonks on a most likely bogus trail, manipulated into service like always. Harry had no desire to eat either, so he found a secluded classroom, locked the door, and slumped to the floor as he cried out his frustration, anger, hurt, and the injustice of it all.

The End.
End Notes:
Angsty, angst, angst! But what fun would fan fiction be without some tension, eh? Trust me, there’s plenty more angst where this came from. Please review! I really love hearing all of your opinions and feedback, and I wish I received more. Thanks for reading!


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1860