Never Alone by Julz
Summary: Severus Snape is a complicated man, but when it comes to protecting Harry Potter's life, there is nothing more simple than succeeding. When Severus finds himself caring for the boy after an attack, how will their relationship change? Snape-Harry mentor fic.
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Arthur, Bellatrix, Draco, Dudley, Dumbledore, Fred George, Ginny, Hagrid, Hermione, Lucius, McGonagall, Molly, Neville, Original Character, Petunia, Remus, Ron, Shacklebolt, Sinistra, Tonks, Vernon, Voldemort, Wormtail
Snape Flavour: Canon Snape, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Loving, Out of Character Snape, Overly-protective Snape
Genres: Angst, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: Adoption, Animagus!Snape, Kidnapped, Pregnancy, Sibling Addition, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Takes Place: 6th summer, 6th Year, 7th summer
Warnings: Alcohol Use, Character Death, Neglect, Out of Character, Profanity, Rape, Romance/Het, Romance/Slash, Self-harm, Suicide Themes, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 62 Completed: Yes Word count: 397611 Read: 401179 Published: 24 Jun 2009 Updated: 10 Feb 2016
Uninvited by Julz

A whole week passed in which Harry and Severus continued with Occlumency lessons and living peacefully together. A fight or five occurred over trivial things, but they were getting along alright for the most part.

Harry was starting to get cabin fever, though. Even at the Dursley’s he was sometimes allowed to go outside to escape it all, but there was no chance of him wandering outdoors when his life was in an even higher state of danger. To keep himself from going mad locked in the small cottage, Harry tried to focus all of his time and pent up energy on practicing Occlumency so that he’d have it mastered by the time Hogwarts term started.

Severus, on the other hand, was finding out exactly why he had never had children before. It wasn’t so much that it was Harry Potter living with him, it was the fact that a teenager was living with him. Though he was not as old as say – Dumbledore, Severus was not the youngest person and had been through quite a bit since his own teenage years. From what he could remember, being a teenager had changed drastically from the seventies to the nineties. Granted, Harry did not have the best life nor had he experienced a proper up-bringing, but the boy was still brimming with angst and awkwardness.

However, Severus also noticed how very determined Harry had become to master Occlumency. The boy was almost passionate about it, and was much easier to teach when he was so ready to learn. If Harry was this receptive in Potions class, the boy might actually be able to make a Calming Draught without melting cauldrons and desks. That particular class was indeed a train wreck.

A week’s worth of Occlumency lessons and studying later, Harry was mastering being able to cook, carry on a conversation, and Occlude all at the same time. He lost concentration a few times and stopped Occluding for a couple of minutes at first, but eventually he was able to successfully cook a meal and finish his conversation with Severus all the while blocking his mind from Severus’ outside penetration.

“I’ve never seen anyone master Occlumency so quickly and so proficiently. You will surely make an excellent Occlumens after a bit more studying. You would probably be a natural at Legilimency as well, should you attempt it,” Severus said before taking a bite of the chicken alfredo Harry had prepared during his lesson.

Harry sprinkled a little bit of parmesan cheese over his alfredo before taking a large bite. It was fairly decent cooking, if he did say so himself. “I don’t know if I would ever want to learn Legilimency, though. I think thoughts should remain private; I’d hate to break into somebody else’s thoughts and memories. It’s such a serious breach of privacy, and I don’t want to put somebody through that,” Harry said as he carefully spread some butter across a warm roll.

“When you become a bit older, you will start to see the advantages of being a Legilimens. Sometimes it is not only comforting, but essential to know when somebody is lying to you or with-holding certain information. For somebody like myself, it is a matter of life and death to be a proper Occlumens and Legilimens. If you’re still harboring interest in becoming an Auror, I will inform you now that basic Occlumency and Legilimency skills are required to go through training.”

Harry frowned as he thought on that for a little while. Did he still want to be an Auror? At this point, he was basically an unofficial Auror with the biggest and most difficult task to complete; kill off Voldemort. Would his passion for hunting out Dark Wizards fade after he succeeded in getting rid of Voldemort, or would it become his new hobby? He wasn’t sure of any of the answers, but he knew he had to find out soon. Harry was pulled out of his reverie as Snape laid an official looking envelope with the Hogwarts crest on the table between them.

“This came this morning for you. I believe they’re your O.W.L. results,” Severus said as he slid the envelope across to Harry. He almost chuckled at the expression that graced the boy’s face.

Harry gulped and pushed his plate away, his appetite immediately gone. So, these were the scores that would decide his fate to become an Auror for him. What if he failed everything? What if he got so close, but still managed to not meet the requirements? His stomach squirmed as he lifted the envelope and slit it open carefully with his butter knife. He pulled out the folded parchment and took a deep breath before reading over the scores.

‘Transfiguration- Exceeds Expectations
Herbology- Acceptable
Divination- Poor
Care of Magical Creatures- Exceeds Expectations
Potions- Exceeds Expectations
Defense Against The Dark Arts- Outstanding
History of Magic- Dreadful
Charms- Exceeds Expectations’

Harry let out the breath he had not been aware of holding as a smile spread across his face, he had done much better than he had expected, but only one grade stopped him from moving on to the Auror required courses; Potions.

“Six O.W.L.s…Not too bad, though I can’t move on to Auror required courses now,” Harry said as he refolded the parchment and slipped it back into its envelope.

Severus raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his tea. “Oh and why not? With six O.W.L.s, you should surely qualify.”

Harry frowned and blushed slightly as he moved his noodles around his plate disinterestedly. “I only got an Exceeds Expectations in Potions.”

Severus leaned back in his seat and fixed Harry with a pointed gaze. Dumbledore had come to him near the end of the semester to ask him about lowering his expectations for his N.E.W.T.s course, and he had considered it for a little while, but hadn’t really made up his mind. If he did lower the minimum grade requirement, Harry would still be able to take all the Auror required courses. The fact that Severus was actually considering changing course material for Harry Potter made his very skin crawl, but his mind seemed to have made itself up.

“Well, it just so happens that Professor Dumbledore made me lower my requirement scores for my N.E.W.T.s Potions class because so many students got less than an O on their O.W.L.s that I would have a class consisting of exactly four sixth years. Apparently that is unacceptable, so I had to lower my score requirements in order to obtain a larger class. So, you’re in luck, Potter. Welcome to sixth year N.E.W.T. level Potions.”

Harry just stared for a few seconds, his fork held limp in his hand. “So…so I can still take all the classes I need to get accepted to the Auror Training Academy?” Harry asked, amazed at the very idea. Did Snape lower his requirement scores for Dumbledore, or for him, Harry? Either one seemed ludicrous to Harry, but he had heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.

Severus finished his plate of food and took the dish over to the sink, draining his tea cup as well. “Well, it does seem like it since you told me the only course you were lacking in was Potions. Make no mistake, however; though I had to lower my score requirement that does not mean that I have lowered my expectations for my N.E.W.T. students. I will not accept shoddy work or poor results. You will definitely find this class challenging, so I suggest some tutoring with Granger, perhaps. I would actually highly suggest Draco Malfoy instead because he achieves much higher scores, but…I’m afraid he won’t be returning to school this year,” Severus said, his voice growing a bit quieter near the end. He was so very worried about his godson, but he didn’t want to show it in front of Harry. He was supposed to be strong in the face of danger, not a worried wreck.

Harry pushed the rest of his food away as he turned in his seat to look at Snape, who was facing the sink still and had his back to Harry. His head was hung slightly and his arms were stretched out on either side of him, resting on the counter in front of him. The man looked worn out and it made Harry’s gut squirm with what he supposed was pity. “Still no news on where he is, then?” Harry asked of Malfoy, though from what Snape had just said he thought he already knew the answer.

Severus turned around slowly and shook his head, looking straight into Harry’s vividly green eyes. “No,” Severus said, moving away from the sink and clearing Harry’s dishes for him. “No news on Draco as of yet. Come, I want you to read a book I have on Legilimency. I know you said you don’t like the idea of it, but I still would like you to consider it, especially if you’re sticking with your ambitions to become an Auror.”

Harry sighed but stood up and followed Snape into the living room. After being handed a large black tome and practically forced to sit down, Harry cracked open the book and started to read. Legilimency was interesting, but it seemed even more complicated than Occlumency. The theory alone made Harry’s head spin, and he had to stop reading before his headache became worse. He rubbed at his temples, squeezing his eyes shut to ward off the migraine that was coming. He nearly jumped out of his seat when he opened his eyes and saw a potion vile being held out to him by Snape.

“That book gives me a headache, too,” Severus said with a shrug as Harry gave him a quizzical look. He felt his spirits lift a little when he heard Harry’s chuckle as he took the potion and downed it.

“Thanks. Legilimency looks a lot harder than Occlumency. I don’t really understand some parts of it, though,” Harry said as he flipped through a few pages in the Legilimency book.

Severus sat down on the couch beside Harry and looked over his shoulder at the book. He was a bit too tired to try to explain Legilimency at the moment, but he did want to try and see if Harry could pull off Legilimency without having lessons. Sometimes it came naturally to talented Wizards; they simply just needed to attempt it.

“I think we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but I would like you to try something. Sometimes Legilimency is an innate ability that some Wizards possess. Most don’t realize it until they actually try it. I don’t believe you’ve ever tried, correct?”

Harry was slightly shocked by that information. He never knew it could be an inborn power. How he wished he could have had Occlumency and Legilimency as in-built powers. “No, but how can I try if I don’t even understand the mechanics of it?” Harry asked as he sat the Legilimency book aside and turned more towards Snape.

Severus scooted to the edge of the couch and pulled out his wand. Maybe he would have to do some explaining after all. “Well, Legilimency is related to Occlumency, obviously, but the mechanics are much different. Occlumency occurs through wandless, nonverbal magic. Legilimency, on the other hand, is wanded magic and verbal, until you Master it, which takes many long years. The powers you use to invoke the two abilities are much different. Being a fairly talented Wizard yourself, you might find that Legilimency is much easier to learn, as it’s almost like learning any other spell. The difference is the amount of concentration, really. The first, most basic rule of Legilimency: eye contact is essential. You must be able to see directly into the subject’s eyes in order for the spell to work. Do you understand so far?”

Harry nodded his understanding. Snape’s explanation made much more sense than that huge book that made his head hurt. “I think I get it. I know the spell, and I know there has to be eye contact, but what exactly is my goal? As you’ve told me before, I can’t just simply ‘read’ a mind; the mind is a very complex, many layered thing,” Harry said as he remembered his very first Occlumency lesson with Snape the year before.

Severus was surprised that Harry had remembered those details of his rampage. “Great Scot, he does listen! Yes, Harry, the mind is very complex and many layered, but it becomes simple if you know how to unravel it and maneuver through the many layers. Your goal, as you put it, is not always going to be the same; it depends on what you are looking for. For instance, if you want to know if someone is lying, it is a much different process than trying to see a specific memory. Memory recognition is more complex than detecting a falsehood in someone’s emotions.”

“You have to detect emotions to tell if someone is lying?” Harry asked, slightly confused by that. He thought the only thing you needed to do was try to bring forward the true memory to put the lie to shame.

Severus nodded as he looked into Harry’s eyes. He was reading the boy as they sat their, seeing his thoughts and feeling his emotions. He was very confused, apparently. “You once told Dumbledore that you could feel the Dark Lord’s emotions. How do you think that is?”

Harry shrugged, becoming even more confused. “I have no idea. Dumbledore never really explained it to me either, but what does that have to do with Legilimency?” he asked the Potions Master.

Curse that old man for never explaining things to the boy for fear of taking away his innocence. Harry’s innocence was long gone, as far as Severus was concerned. “The way the Dark Lord sees into your mind, and the way you see into his, is a kind of reverse Legilimency. I cannot explain the connection really, as I don’t completely understand it myself, but I do know that it is a complex form of Legilimency. That’s why you can sometimes feel his emotions, usually before a ‘vision’, correct?”

Harry thought about it for a few seconds, but Snape was actually right. He usually did feel a strong emotion from Voldemort soon before getting a flash of what he was seeing. “Yes, actually. So…to see if someone is lying, you have to detect whether or not they’re nervous or scared or something?” Harry asked, still not quite understanding what emotions depicted lying.

“This is where it gets a bit more complicated. The mind does not have simple emotions like happy, sad, angry, scared, or nervous. There are sub-emotions that give away certain details, such as lying. It is not only in the mind, either. Lying is a psychological phenomenon that sets off warning bells throughout the body; sweaty palms, abnormal blinking, creased eyebrows, watering eyes, stuttering, breathlessness, twitching, fidgeting, hesitation – these are all tell-tale signs that someone is lying. It is a combination of both feeling the minds’ emotions and being able to read a person’s body language from the outside. You were very right; Legilimency is a lot more complicated than Occlumency. I want you to try something, however. I want to see if you can tell whether or not I am lying by Legilimizing me and reading my body language.”

Harry frowned, feeling even more confused now then when he was reading the sodding book. It wouldn’t hurt to try, he supposed. “Alright, so what do I do? Just say the spell, try to detect your emotions somehow and try to read your body language?” Harry asked as he awkwardly pulled his wand and scooted back so that he was sitting face to face with Snape.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the boy before giving a curt nod. “Precisely. This is what you’re going to determine is a lie or not. Ready?” Severus waited for Harry to nod before continuing. “I’m wearing blue underpants.”

Harry snickered and tried to hide his amusement behind his hand. Did the man have nothing better to lie about?

“I’m starting with something simple so that you may have the slightest chance of detecting if it’s a lie or not. Be mature, would you. Now concentrate, look into my eyes, perform the spell, and play the rest by ear,” Severus said as he prepared himself for a mental penetration.

Harry nodded, pushing away his amusement as he sat up straight. He gathered his thoughts, looked straight into Snape’s black – dark blue – eyes. That was a strange discovery…Back to Legilimency, then. He lifted his wand and gave it a flick. “Legilimens!

A light began to flicker behind Snape’s eyes, quick flashes of images. Harry felt a tug of amusement that was not his own, a sense of determination that didn’t belong to him. He was careful not to break eye contact, but used peripheral vision to try to study Snape’s expression and body language. A twitch, there – on the corner of his mouth, a crease between the brows, squinting of the eyes. A faint feeling of…something…What was that? It was strange, almost like being pleased and afraid all at once. Then it hit him; it was dishonesty. Snape was lying. But if he was lying, what colour were his underpants? Harry was curious, for reasons he did not care to really think about. He began to focus now on the little flickers of light, the quick flashing images. He willed them to slow down long enough for him to be able to see what they were, and to his great astonishment, they did. The first thing he saw was a black quill, then next was a black book of some sort, and after that he saw black curtains hanging in a grimy window. He finally realized what he was seeing most often; the colour black. Snape’s underpants were black.

Harry blinked and looked away from Snape, almost feeling like his gaze was a rubber-band being pulled away from something. He blinked a few times before grinning as he looked up at Snape. “You’re lying. Your underpants are black.”

Severus’ eyebrows shot up as he blinked a few times. So the boy had actually been able to detect his lie and find out the truth. With no training whatsoever, that could only mean one thing; Harry was a natural Legilimens. “That’s correct…Very impressive, Harry. I think you might posses innate Legilimency abilities,” Severus said, still slightly amazed by the broadness of Harry’s magical powers. What else could this talented teen do that no one knew about?

Harry beamed as he celebrated on the inside. One less thing to learn for Auror training! “Bloody brilliant,” was Harry’s response to that discovery.

S~S~S~S

It was late the next afternoon, just before dinner time. Harry was lying on his stomach on the floor, reading the final chapter in The Beginner’s Guide to Occlumency, while Severus was putting together lesson plans for the upcoming term.

Harry closed the back cover of the book with a snap, sitting up on his heels as he stretched his arms high above him. “Finished it, finally. I think I get the part about unconscious blocking now. Before, I was immersing myself in the imagined scene so much that I truly believed I was there. Now I think I get what you were saying before about letting it occupy my mind, but not take it over,” Harry said as he stood up and walked over to Snape, holding out the book to him.

Severus took the book and sat it down on the coffee table beside his workbooks and Potions journals. He took off the reading glasses that he had begrudgingly had to wear because his Oculus charm had worn off and Madam Pomfrey was not readily available to update it. He had sworn Harry to secrecy, of course. “Would you like to test that now?” Severus asked as he scooted over and made room for Harry on the couch beside him.

Harry sat down beside the Potions Master and nodded. “Yeah, just to see if I can actually do it right. I need to know so I can practice more on it if I can’t do it.”

Severus nodded his head in agreement and pulled out his wand. “It is essential that you learn to function normally while still being able to block your mind because of the special circumstances in which the Dark Lord can see your thoughts. There is no warning, and it would be best to Occlude constantly instead of when you think there might be danger around. Ready?” Severus waited for Harry’s nod before meeting the boy’s eyes and flicking his wand. “Legilimens!

It was only a few seconds before Severus realized that something was very wrong. Harry clutched his head in agony as he let out an anguished moan, dragging his gaze away from Severus and breaking the spell before Severus could do it himself. Harry’s eyes were squeezed shut and he was now clutching his forehead as though his head had split in two.

“He saw you! He saw you in my mind! I was trying to Occlude differently, to pull up the block again and He broke in. He said He could sense your magical signature. He saw you, Professor!” Harry groaned as he started to shake and feel ill.

Severus was momentarily stunned before he was pulled back to the present, a leaden sensation in the pit of his stomach threatening to make him sick up. The Dark Lord knew he was with Harry, could possibly know everything that had happened that summer. One thing became infinitely clear to Severus right away; his spy disguise was blown.

“Did He speak to you, Harry? What did he say? Talk to me, Harry!”

“Give me a bloody second, will you?! I’ve just had Voldemort poking around in my head; it’s not a good feeling!” Harry shouted as his head pounded harder and harder.

Severus snarled as he stood up abruptly from the couch, knocking the coffee table over and sending parchment and books flying. “Trust me, I know the feeling, Potter! What the bloody hell did He tell you?”

Harry was alarmed by Snape’s behavior and was actually cowering slightly on the couch. Snape had been strangely, but pleasantly kind the whole time Harry had been there. He hadn’t seen Snape in such a rage since he had snuck into the pensieve and seen his worst memory. “He said He’s been looking for me, and that I was a good hider, but not anymore. He could sense your magical signature, and He said He knew much more than we suspect…Whatever you do, don’t go if He calls! He’ll kill you straight away, I just know it,” Harry said, willing the pounding in his head to subside long enough to see straight.

Severus began to pace amongst the fallen parchment and Potions journals, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Harry had been doing so well with blocking his mind, but the second the boy let his guard down, the Dark Lord was there to wreck it all. Severus was an essential part of the Order, being the main informant of when, where, and how the Death Eaters were going to try and spring on Harry again and wreck havoc on the rest of the world. With his cover blown, they were all in grave danger. He needed to get to Dumbledore, and fast.

Expecto Patronum!” Severus conjured his silvery doe Patronus, watching it paw the ground and throw its head back elegantly. “Go to Dumbledore, tell him the Dark Lord knows I have Harry and may know more than we think He does. My cover has been blow and I need someone here to – ” Severus paused, his left arm burning as his Mark flared angrily. His eyes snapped up and locked with Harry’s, which grew to the size of Galleons.

“Don’t go, Professor, it’ll be a trap for sure. Wait until Dumbledore knows at least. Please…” Harry whispered as he stood up, taking a step towards the Potions Master. He didn’t know exactly why he felt so strongly about keeping Snape safe, but he knew if the Professor went to Voldemort now he wouldn’t be coming back.

Severus ran a hand through his long, black hair, dragging it over his tired eyes. He had to make a decision now, though he wished he had more time to just think first. It was disconcerting to see Harry worried about his safety, but he knew the boy had a Saving-People-Thing that didn’t discriminate, even against someone like him. He studied Harry’s distressed expression for a few seconds, his mind an internal battle of wills and intelligence. He knew it would be extremely dangerous for him to be anywhere near the Dark Lord or His followers now, but he also knew that if there was any chance of the Dark Lord not knowing about his betrayal, he had to get to him before any other suspicions piqued. It was ultimately a simple question of doing what was safe, and doing what was in his best interest as a spy. The hard part was going to be his answer, which he knew Harry would fight tooth and nail against.

Severus turned back to his calmly waiting Patronus and nodded slowly. “Tell him I need someone here to watch over Harry while I’m gone.” He flicked his wand and watched the silver doe gallop quickly away, making the room darker than before. “Dumbledore will be informed and someone will be here to watch over you soon. Do not attempt to leave for any reason, is that understood, Harry?” Severus asked as he wrapped his cloak around himself, slipping his wand into an inside pocket of his robes.

Harry shook his head fervently, wanting to grab Snape by the front of his robes and shake the stupid out of him. How could the man be so foolish as to walk right into the flames of Hell? “This is suicide! He knows you were there in my mind, he could tell! There’s no way your cover hasn’t been blown; he’ll torture and kill you! Please don’t go, Severus…” Harry pleaded, shocked by his own use of the man’s first name. He’d never even spoken the word out loud as far as he could remember.

Severus was slightly taken aback by the sincerity in Harry’s voice, and especially hearing his first name fall from the boy’s lips. He felt something stir in his stomach, but he squashed the feeling before it could cause any interference. “I have to go, Harry. It is in the best interest of the Order and your safety that I try to secure my position in his graces, or else vital information may be lost. Stay here; do not leave with anyone, including Order members. You tell whoever comes that you must stay, do you understand me?” Severus asked again, this time emphasizing the words heavily as he stared straight into Harry’s worried emerald eyes.

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat, torn between clinging to the Professor to keep him from leaving and punching him square in the jaw. He nodded his head jerkily, regretting it even as he did it. “I understand, sir…Please, be careful,” Harry said, his voice constricted as he watched the older man nod briskly, walk into the bedroom and step into the floo. The last thing he saw from the Potions Master was a surprising reassuring smile before the man disappeared in bright green flames.

Ten minutes later, Tonks was spinning through the green flames and stepping out of the floo, her wand raised and ready for a fight. She looked around and spotted Harry, sitting on Snape’s bed and staring at the fireplace she had just stepped out of.

“Harry? Are you alright? Dumbledore didn’t say much; just that Snape’s position has been compromised because of some accident during an Occlumency lesson,” she said as she sat beside Harry on the large four-poster bed draped in black and green.

Harry blinked and tried to snap himself out of the reverie he had fallen into after Snape’s departure. He looked over at Tonks, who looked expectant and worried. “He’s not going to come back, I can feel it…” he whispered, staring into the flames once more.

Tonks reached out a hand and grasped Harry’s shoulder gently, surprised to feel the boy trembling. Since when had Harry grown to care for someone like Snape? From what she had heard from various Order members, Harry and Snape had been at each other’s throats from the day the boy had stepped foot into Hogwarts. “Snape is a smart and manipulative man, Harry. I’m sure he will find a way out of all of this, you’ll see. But Harry, I don’t see why you’re so concerned. In my opinion, Snape is just reaping what he sowed,” she said, flipping her shoulder-length blonde hair out of her face. She had never really been a huge fan of Severus Snape, not that many people were, but being an Auror also brain washed her to believe that, once a Dark Wizard, always a Dark Wizard.

“So Snape deserves whatever he gets at the hands of Voldemort, is that what you’re saying? Why, because he was an impressionable youth and made a foolish mistake many years ago? Hasn’t he done enough to redeem himself, to pull himself out of the shadows of his mistakes? We all make mistakes, Tonks, even you. He may have done it grudgingly and bitterly, but Snape has protected my life since my parents were murdered. I’m not about to write him off as a lost cause to the war just because he’s human.

He risks his life every time he goes to the Dark Lord and brings the Order back valuable information, yet nobody really respects him, save Dumbledore and maybe even Remus. Hell, I didn’t respect him either; not until this summer, when he saved my life again and took me in when I had nowhere else to go. But no, why should I respect a man like that?” Harry stared at Tonks, his gaze more of a challenge than anything.

Though he was barely sixteen and nowhere near being a genius, Harry was a lot more mature and grown up than most thought and expected. The underestimation just made it even more shocking when he opened his mouth and proved he had a well-informed brain and his own set of morals. It was easy to underestimate a teenager when you forget that said teenager was Harry bloody Potter.

Tonks shook her head, a bit miffed by Harry’s little speech. “That’s not really what I meant Harry. I meant that Snape knew the risks involved when he agreed to become a double agent for the Order, and his own mistakes in keeping his guise up were what sold him out, not you or anybody else for that matter. He knew this was coming eventually, Harry, and he was fully prepared to pay for his disloyalty to Voldemort. Some things are not as simple as redeeming yourself and trying to make up for your past mistakes. Snape is not the only one to pay retribution for his actions, and he won’t be the last. It’s just the way things are, as much as it buggers.”

Harry shook his head, uncrossing his legs and sitting up straighter. It sounded as though Tonks believed Snape wanted this to happen, like he had planned on it from the beginning. “So you think this was just an easy out for Snape? That the reason he didn’t try hard enough or something was because he wanted an easy escape from it all? Well let me ask you this; what about all the people who reap what they don’t sow? People who are good and whole suffer the same fate as those who aren’t all the time, so how could you consider it ‘retribution for their actions’? There must be a law in the universe or something, a law about needless suffering; a law that God can’t even break. Snape isn’t ‘paying for what he did’; he’s sacrificing himself for the sake of my safety and the Order’s success.”

Harry stood up from the bed, stretching high above his head as he headed towards the door. Though he seemed stoic and calm, his stomach was a rolling mess and he was full of panic. He needed to be alone just then, before he cursed Tonks just for something to vent his frustration on.

“I’m going to lie down for a bit; I’m not feeling too good. Wake me if any news comes?” he asked, feeling slightly guilty by the hurt look in Tonks watery eyes.

Tonks nodded, still feeling ashamed of what she had said and a bit disconcerted about being admonished by a sixteen-year-old and actually deserving it. “Yeah, sure. I’m sure everything will be alright, Harry. I’ll let you know if I hear anything, eh? Get some rest.”

Harry nodded as he left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He didn’t even bother to Transfigure the couch into a bed before toeing off his shoes and falling onto the soft cushions, his eyes sliding closed almost instantly.

The End.


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