Never Alone by Julz
Summary: Severus Snape is a complicated man, but when it comes to protecting Harry Potter's life, there is nothing more simple than succeeding. When Severus finds himself caring for the boy after an attack, how will their relationship change? Snape-Harry mentor fic.
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Arthur, Bellatrix, Draco, Dudley, Dumbledore, Fred George, Ginny, Hagrid, Hermione, Lucius, McGonagall, Molly, Neville, Original Character, Petunia, Remus, Ron, Shacklebolt, Sinistra, Tonks, Vernon, Voldemort, Wormtail
Snape Flavour: Canon Snape, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Loving, Out of Character Snape, Overly-protective Snape
Genres: Angst, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: Adoption, Animagus!Snape, Kidnapped, Pregnancy, Sibling Addition, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Takes Place: 6th summer, 6th Year, 7th summer
Warnings: Alcohol Use, Character Death, Neglect, Out of Character, Profanity, Rape, Romance/Het, Romance/Slash, Self-harm, Suicide Themes, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 62 Completed: Yes Word count: 397611 Read: 400057 Published: 24 Jun 2009 Updated: 10 Feb 2016
Razor's Edge by Julz
Author's Notes:
WARNING! GIANT HUGE IMPORTANT WARNING! Got your attention? Good. Now, this chapter is definitely triggering for those with self-harm and/or suicidal tendencies. If this bothers you, PLEASE let me know I will message you a summary of the end of the chapter so that you don’t have to read any upsetting parts. That being said, please don’t murder the author…all will be revealed in the end! Speaking of the end, it’s near! Again, sorry for the great delay, but life and all that rot. Please read and review!

A couple of days after the Order meeting, Kingsley flooed into the kitchen during breakfast, delivering the building plans for Muggle London and a history of those buildings. Hermione gaped at the massive boxes full of unkempt documents, and thanked Merlin she had magic at her disposal to help her go through the monstrosities.

Aurora stood from the kitchen table and summoned a trunk from the entrance hall. She turned to Severus and Remus, who were talking quietly over their plates. “I’ve decided to visit with my parents in Brighton for a couple of days. They wanted to see me sometime before I had the baby. I’m going to see my Healer again before I catch the train. She said the baby was perfectly healthy last time. I’ll owl you when I get there.”

Severus and Remus both stood, taking turns to embrace the pregnant woman fondly.

“Be careful, and if you need anything at all, let us know,” Remus said, kissing the dark skinned woman lightly on the cheek.

“Have a safe trip, Aurora.”

The Astronomy Professor accepted all the other well wishes and a quick hug from Harry before taking her leave, her trunk floating along behind her and she ascended the stairs into the entrance hall.

After they had all finished breakfast, Harry, Draco and Ron helped Hermione lug all of the many boxes up to the library, where Hermione taught them a spell to magically locate any documents associated with Wool’s Orphanage. After hours of searching, they had a pile of documents, from the original building contract, to the bills of unpaid property taxes and the contracts of renting portions of the building out to make the payments.

Draco was flipping through a folder that detailed the sale of the closed down orphanage to a man named Sir Alexander Murdock. Reading the details of the transfer of the deed, Draco discovered that the man had decided to turn the rundown orphanage into a hotel.

“Have you ever heard of the West London Hotel?” Draco asked the room at large; though he figured Hermione was most likely the one to know. He had never heard of the place, but it was in Muggle London, so that did not surprise him.

Hermione set aside the folder she had been going through and moved over to Draco’s end of the table. “That sounds really familiar. I think I saw it on a trip to London with my primary school years ago. They claimed it was haunted. It did look extremely dark and foreboding for a hotel. Is that the orphanage then?”

Draco handed the deed transfer to Hermione, who flipped to the back page and saw the old black and white Muggle photograph and gasped. “That’s it! I’ve been inside that hotel! Oh, no wonder I felt so weird! I was almost nine; I probably subconsciously felt lingering magic there from when Tom was there. That’s so creepy to think about…”

“The orphanage was turned into a hotel? Seems a little morbid to me. When was it renovated? I’m sure they must have gutted the place to refurbish everything. What are the chances any sort of Horcrux survived that? I mean, they could have tossed it for all we know,” Harry groused, imagining having to crawl through mountainous piles of rubbish looking for an unknown object. The needle in a haystack affect was really starting to close in.

“Well, since the building wasn’t actually demolished, just renovated, it’s possible it could still be there. It depends on where Voldemort hid it, really. We’d have to go through the building and check for traces of dark magic. If it’s there, we’ll know,” Hermione said confidently.

“‘We’ is going to consist of Remus and I,” the Potions Master said from the doorway of the library. After speaking to Kingsley, Severus managed to convince the Minister that he and Remus should go on this mission alone, that way they did not have to reveal the existence of the Horcruxes to anyone else.

Expecting immediate outrage from Harry about being left here, Severus was surprised when it was Ron and Draco who complained about being left out. He sent his son a questioning look, but Harry just shrugged, as if in defeat. It seemed as though the Gryffindor had learned that yelling and being indignant would not get him very far. However, the seeming complacency worried Severus more than anything.

“I know that you’re all part of the Order, but it is not safe for any of you to go gallivanting across London. Remus and I are perfectly capable of handling this. In the meantime, you guys can buckle down on finding a way to destroy these things. If we do find a Horcrux at this hotel, it will be the final one.”

The teens all reluctantly agreed, though Harry seemed to not care one way or the other. Hermione started making a game-plan for getting into the hotel, devising a charade where Severus and Remus would pose as Muggle Building Control Surveyors in order to gain unlimited access to the hotel, giving them to chance to explore the building and test for traces of dark magic.

“I think you guys should carry fake credentials, in case you’re stopped and questioned by hotel security. However, using Notice-Me-Not charms might keep credentials a moot point. I’ll make some anyways, just to be safe,” Hermione said, cutting up squares of parchment. She used a spell to make her writing look like type-print and wrote their names, fake I.D. numbers, and official looking seals that read ‘Metropolitan Board of Works’. Finally, she used a laminating spell to encase the parchment cards, thickening them so that they felt akin to a credit card, rather than flimsy parchment.

“I didn’t include a picture because I think you should slightly alter your appearances, on the off chance that any magical folk are around and recognize you.”

Remus took the card that Hermione held out to him and tested the flexibility, giving the young girl an impressed look. “You’re a genius, Hermione. I think the Order needs to utilize your beautiful brains more often.”

Hermione blushed, ducking her head as she copied down the address of the West London Hotel and handed it and the other fake credential to Severus. “I’m not sure if there are any floo nodes close to this hotel. Flying might be the best option. It’s not too terribly far from here, but certainly not walking distance, either.”

Severus nodded, turning away as Remus asked Hermione about the spell she used for the seal printed on their credentials. He caught Harry’s eye from across the table, jerking his head to the side to signal that he wanted to speak to the boy. Harry seemed reluctant at first, but followed the Potions Professor to the other side of the library.

“Is everything ok, Harry? I know you’d probably prefer to go along on this mission, but it’s much too dangerous for you to even leave this house right now,” Severus explained, hoping that his son understood that they were simply trying to keep him safe.

Harry felt his stomach churn at the worried tone of his father’s voice. Upon realizing that the last Horcrux was sure to be found tonight, Harry knew that he would have to put the plan he had come up with into effect. The panic that tried to consume him was lingering under the surface of his carefully constructed façade. He could not give himself away and alert anyone to his inner turmoil if his plan were to work. It was just that he had thought he’d have a little more time; time to kiss Draco, laugh with Ron and Hermione, play chess with Severus, learn French from Remus, and of course, meet his baby sister. The pang of deep sadness he felt at the thought of never knowing the little girl Remus and Severus would raise nearly gave the game away, but he held himself in check.

Harry knew that putting the plan into effect while Severus and Remus were outside of the house was the best circumstances he could ask for. If he told his friends and Draco that he wanted to be alone, chances were they would let him be. More and more lately he had been asking for his solitude, preparing himself for the inevitable. More often than not, however, either Severus or Remus would come to find him and talk him into joining the rest of the household once more. It was his only shot, his window of opportunity.

“Yeah, I’m ok; just tired of all this research. We don’t seem to be getting any closer to finding a way to destroy these damn things, though I’m glad we seem to have finally found the last one. Now we can focus on getting rid of them.”

Harry tried hard not to talk about himself as if he would not be there to help with the research for destroying the Horcruxes. Before Severus could respond, Remus joined them, sending his husband a questioning look.

“It’s nearly lunch time. If we’re going to do this, I think it’d be best if we headed off before dark. Is everything alright?”

Harry nodded, giving his stepfather a warm smile. “Yeah, everything’s fine. You’re right; you should probably head out before dark. Just be careful. You saw what happened to Dumbledore’s hand when he found the ring. Make absolutely sure all of the protections Voldemort set up around whatever it is are completely dismantled.”

“We’ll be very careful, Harry, I promise. Why don’t you help the others until Molly calls you all for lunch? Hopefully we can make it back by dinner, if we’re lucky,” said Remus, pulling Harry into a hug. He was surprised when Harry clung on longer and tighter than he expected, but figured his son was simply worried, and held for a bit longer, placing a kiss atop his messy hair.

Severus gathered Harry into another hug as Remus released him, a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that something just did not feel right. He held his son close, knowing the boy was worried, and ran a hand through his hair in a comforting gesture. “Everything will be alright, Harry, you’ll see. We’ve come so far in just a few short months.”

“I love you,” Harry whispered, hugging each of his parents in turn once more, feeling a lump rise in his throat. He wished they would leave quickly, before he had a chance to fall apart and change his mind.

“We love you too, son. Be good,” the Potions Master said, brushing a few stray hairs out of the boys brilliantly green eyes. Something in those eyes was off. They looked too old, too haunted for a seventeen-year-old boy. Severus could not wait for this to be over, if only to bring the life back into his son’s eyes.

After Severus and Remus left there was still at least a couple more hours before Molly would call them all down to lunch, and Harry felt as though he was running out of time much too quickly. He had spent a little bit of time with Ron and Hermione, glad when the twins and Ginny showed up. Harry suggested they all play a game of exploding snap to take a short break from all of the research, and everyone readily agreed.

Harry had never had as much fun playing a card game in his entire life. Hermione had chased Ron around the library with her wand drawn after he caused her deck of cards to tumble, singeing her hair. She turned Ron’s bright pink in retaliation. Draco had managed to lose an eyebrow when he played against Ginny, who couldn’t stop laughing long enough to help him grow it back. The twins had of course teamed up on Harry, who was never any good at the game to begin with. The double deck exploded on Harry’s fourth turn, setting his sleeve on fire, as well as both of the twins’ ties. The smell of burnt clothing would probably hang in the library for a long time to come.

After they had finished lunch, Harry pulled Draco out of the library and up to the bathroom adjoining their room. The blonde looked bewildered before Harry turned on the tap in the shower, and then moved toward him to begin unbuttoning his shirt.

Draco gripped both of Harry’s hands in his own as he reached the last button, looking into his eyes, which seemed much too sad given their current positions. “Are you ok, Harry? You seem a little…off, lately.”

Harry tilted his head, kissing the blonde soundly as he wrapped his arms around the Slytherin. “Yeah, I’m ok. Please, Draco…Help me forget,” Harry whispered, kissing his boyfriend deeply once more. He nearly sobbed in relief when Draco forewent questioning him and began to undress Harry in return.

Harry allowed himself to cuddle with Draco for about an hour after their too-long shower before claiming he needed to ask Molly something. The kiss he shared with the blonde took both of their breaths away, leaving an ache so strong in Harry’s chest that he was so close to changing his mind.

“I love you so much,” Harry whispered, running his fingers through Draco’s icy locks, kissing his cheeks and forehead.

The blonde gathered Harry close, leaving a gentle kiss behind Harry’s ear. It was so soft and caring, so much emotion in one little innocent kiss. “I love you too, Harry. More than anything.”

As Harry left to hunt down Molly, Draco couldn’t help but feel like that had been sort of goodbye. He heart clenched in his chest, hoping that Harry had simply been caught up in the moment.

S~S~S~S

“Harry! What are you doing down here? Would you like some tea; it’s fresh?” Molly asked solicitously as she hopped up from her chair in the basement kitchen, grabbing another cup for Harry.

“I’d like that, Mrs. Weasley.”

“Oh Harry, when will you learn to call me Molly? Here you are!” Molly sat the cup of tea gently in front of Harry, scooting the boat of milk and bowl of sugar closer to him. She sat in the seat right beside his, which Harry felt extremely glad for.

“Sorry, Molly. Old habits die hard,” Harry admitted with a sheepish smile before blowing gently on his steaming tea, taking a careful sip.

“Not to worry, love. Why aren’t you cooped up in the library with the rest of the lot? Not that I’m sure you couldn’t use the break, mind you. Whatever it is you’ve all been searching for, you’ve been at it for quite a long time!”

Harry smiled genuinely at the redheaded woman beside him, feeling a strong surge of gratefulness for this woman’s capacity to love everyone, especially children that weren’t her own. Merlin knew she had enough kids to spread her love to, but she always seemed to have more in store. Harry remembered the first time he had met the motherly woman, confused on how to get to Platform nine and three-quarters. The immediate sense of affection he felt from the woman, despite the fact that she didn’t even know Harry, had always stuck with him. That instinctive mother’s love that he didn’t remember receiving from his own mother washed over him every time Molly fussed over how skinny he was, or how badly he needed a haircut. Molly Weasley was the mother he never had, and he was glad the woman had been there for him when he needed it most.

“I just needed a break, and I haven’t gotten the chance to really talk to you in a while. Thought I’d come check on how you were getting along. You’re always worrying over us, so I figured it was time someone worried over you,” said Harry, blushing when he saw Molly’s eyes become over-bright.

“Oh Harry, you’re such a sweet boy,” Molly choked as she pulled Harry into a hug, sighing deeply as he hugged her just as tightly back. She released him with a loving smile, cupping his cheeks in her palms.

“I’ve been doing alright, though I can’t say that I don’t miss Arthur something fierce. I find myself wanting to tell him so much, ask him things I never thought to ask in all of our years together. I’ve had to teach myself not to wallow in the regrets of things left unsaid, but to rejoice in the time that I shared with my husband.”

Harry gulped, wondering if people would sit around and talk about him this way, expressing their regrets and claiming to miss him. He was sure they would, but it all seemed surreal at the moment. He tried to push those thoughts away as he rested his hand atop Molly’s on the kitchen table.

“You’re so strong; I don’t even understand how you’ve managed to stay above it all. I miss him too, and I keep thinking of the last thing I ever said to him. I feel so horrible that I never got to apologize or set things straight. I did the same with Professor Dumbledore. I guess I should have learned my lesson about sticking my foot in,” Harry admitted, feeling a slight bit of pressure lift from his shoulders as he finally got that off of his chest.

“Harry, Arthur was never angry with you. Severus explained the situation to us after you had left, and we understood. Arthur knew you were under a huge amount of stress; he didn’t take it to heart, I promise. You mustn’t let things like that eat you up, dear. You cannot take back what happened, and lingering on it will only prolong your pain. I’m sure Dumbledore forgave you for any transgressions before he passed. You’ve not had an easy life, Harry, and I’m sure your argument with the Headmaster was probably because of some pressure he was adding to your already overstressed shoulders. Albus loved you, as did Arthur. Never doubt that.”

Harry allowed Molly to pull him into a hug as tears stung at the corners of his eyes. He bit his lip to keep his emotions in, and only a few tears managed to leak their way out. When he pulled away from the motherly woman, Harry’s instinct was to kiss her on the cheek, surprising Molly as he had never done such a thing before.

“Thank you, Molly. I love you as if you were my own mother. You were always there when I needed you the most, and I’m so grateful to you.”

It was Molly’s turn to choke up as she pat Harry gently on the cheek, sniffling into a handkerchief she pulled from an apron pocket. “I love you too, Harry dear. I could not have asked for a better surrogate son.”

Harry thanked Molly for the tea and the pep talk, feeling a little bit better about his plans now. He informed her that he needed some time alone, so he would come down to dinner when he felt ready. She understood his unspoken request not to bother him, and assured him she would keep the others from bothering him until he was ready for company once more.

S~S~S~S

The wrought iron gates of the quaint hotel before them were left open, as if to seem inviting to prospective guests of the establishment. Severus couldn’t help but think that the invitation had gotten lost somewhere in the looming shadow of the foreboding building. Hermione had been right; the hotel immediately gave off a sense of unease. The look he shared with his husband was enough to confirm that he had felt it too.

The front lobby was sparsely furnished, but clean and homey feeling. The desk had been erected out of an old sideboard, and adorned with a marble countertop. A pretty young hostess was seated behind the desk, standing quickly when she saw Severus and Remus approach.

“Hello, gentlemen, and welcome to the West London Hotel. Do you have reservations?”

“No, we’re actually with the London Metropolitan Board of Works. We’re performing random building inspections. We’ll just need to walk through the building, assessing the safety measures. We won’t be too much of a bother,” Remus said, giving the young woman a winning smile that caused her to blush. With his newly almost-black hair and icy blue eyes, he had the young lady quite charmed.

Severus tried very hard not to roll his temporary honey brown eyes at his husband, resisting the urge to also flip his hair out of his face, considering it had been charmed to a severely short length. Surely no one would recognize either one of them.

“Oh, of course! You’re welcome to go wherever you please. If you need anything at all, I’ll be glad to help. My name is Bridgette.”

“Thank you, Bridgette,” Severus said shortly as he turned towards the set of lifts just off of the entrance hall, Remus following quickly behind him.

“Well that was easy,” Remus whispered as they stepped into the lift, the door making a pleasant chiming noise as it began to ascend.

“I did not really think we would have much trouble, to be honest. I think Notice-Me-Not charms might come in handy, however. We’ll need to make sure no Muggles catch us with our wands out.”

Remus snorted, but quickly tried to turn it into a cough. He wasn’t fooling Severus. His husband sent him a weak glare and huffed indignantly. “You are such a child sometimes.”

Remus chuckled, having no regrets to apologize for. “Mm, yes, but you love me all the more for it.”

“Prat.”

S~S~S~S

The desk in the corner of his and Draco’s room was neat and tidy. A stack of thick, fresh cream parchment sat ready in the centre of the desk, the matching cream envelopes waiting to be joined with their letters, once completed. There was a handsome eagle feather quill sitting beside the stack of parchment, the nib sharp and promising a clean stroke. An unopened ink well with charcoal, pearl dust ink sat ready to be used. Everything was set up and ready for Harry to write the letters he had told himself he was going to write.

His Will had already been written, sitting off to the side in an envelope, ready to be sent off to Gringott’s once Harry included the letters he had attached to his bequests. The last thing to do was write these letters. Harry had thought long and hard about what he was going to say, but as Harry untwisted the cap on the ink well and dipped the sharp nib in, all the planned words seemed to fade away. He stared at the blank parchment, lost.

An ink drop dripped from his quill, making a perfectly round bubble of blackest ink. As Harry stared at the droplet of ink, it began to spread and dry, the parchment soaking it up like dry earth does rain. Another drop formed at the tip of his quill, and yet the words would not come.

The fear of forgetting something or saying the wrong thing stilted his quill before he could even write the words. What did one say to the people they loved in this situation? Did he need to write to everyone he knew? Would those left without a personal letter feel betrayed and resent him after he was gone?

Severus, Remus, Draco, Hermione, Ron and the rest of Weasleys were the obvious recipients. What about his other dorm mates, or Hagrid and Professor McGonagall? Should he write to his unborn sister? Should he leave a statement to release to the public?

How had this seemed so easy before?

S~S~S~S

The hallways were quiet and deserted. The long corridors were identical on every floor. Small wall sconces alternated every other door, leaving the corridors dimly lit. The light had been intended for warmth, but only achieved more of an eerie atmosphere. Remus and Severus stopped on every floor, casting a few different spells to detect dark magic. When they reached the last floor, the fifth, none of their spells had detected anything out of the ordinary, but the oily feeling of the taint of dark magic still hung thick in the air.

“Does your spell strength feel a little weak to you?” Remus asked quietly as they headed back towards the lifts at the end of the corridor.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. I think there might be dampening wards up, but I can’t seem to isolate them. Can you untangle them?” Severus grumbled, annoyed that his efforts to find this bloody Horcrux seemed to be going to waste so far.

They stepped off the lift on the third floor, not knowing how the Muggle mechanics of the lift would affect their spells. The coast was still clear, and Remus was starting to wonder if there were any guests staying there at all.

The dampening wards were faint, but Remus could feel them if he concentrated hard enough. Waving his wand in a complicated swirling motion, Remus whispered, “Finite Incantatum.” Part of the heaviness in the air faded away, and suddenly they could both breathe easier. The wards had been damming the flow of magic in their very veins.

Severus cast another detection spell, and this time it latched onto something. He shared a look with his husband before they both followed the faint blue line of the detection spell down the corridor.

S~S~S~S

The bathroom was dark and cavernous as always. His unclothed footsteps made slapping sounds against the tile, reverberating off the walls and coming back to him like whispers. He didn’t turn on the lights, or light any candles. He’d been in this bathroom so many times before that he knew it even in the dark. He came to the drawer he had been looking for, and slid it slowly out, reaching in with deft fingers and extracting the tool he knew was there. The long, straight razor felt sleek and heavy in his palm as he pushed the drawer in and moved to sit against the tiled wall beside the glass shower.

He pulled the blade away from the handle, careful not to run his finger over the sharp metal. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as he laid the razor down beside him. He closed his eyes tight, trying not to second guess himself, but it was inevitable.

S~S~S~S

The last room at the end of the third floor corridor is where Severus’ detection spell led. Remus cast a few spells to check for curses, and when they came back negative, he used an unlocking spell on the door of room 313. It beat having to get the Muggle key-card from Bridgette.

Upon entering the room, nothing seemed out of ordinary. The single room held a small, nicely clothed bed which housed a plethora of plush pillows piled high against the ornate wooden headboard. The large window against the back wall had beautiful silk curtains blocking out the afternoon sun. The inspection of the room abruptly ended when the detection spell fizzled out and died before their eyes.

“Hmm, something must be throwing the spell off; possibly wards. It’s definitely in here,” Remus said with a frown, the slimy feeling of dark magic seeping over his skin.

“Well, I have a strong feeling it’s not going to be a pillow or a lamp. It’s got to be hidden, somewhere that wouldn’t have been affected during renovations,” Severus pointed out, trying and failing to cast the detection spell again.

“The carpet, it looks fairly modern, and the floors are wood downstairs. If they just carpeted over the wood – ”

“The floorboards.”

S~S~S~S

He knew he had to do this. There was no other solution, he knew, and no matter how much his friends and family researched, a better answer would never be found. Harry had known this all along, but it didn’t make the razor feel any less heavy as he lifted it again.

He stretched his left arm out, able to make out his pale flesh as his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. His left forearm; that’s where his father’s Dark Mark was. He thought about tracing it into his own flesh, but his worry about his family’s reactions was already topped out. There was no need to get creative. Just one long, straight cut, right down the centre. That would do it.

S~S~S~S

Vowing to repair the damage, Remus and Severus decided to use gouging charms to pull up the layer of carpet. As Remus had suspected, there were old planks of splintering wood hidden beneath the beige carpet.

“Now the problem is figuring out where in the room it’s in. We can hardly tear up the entire room,” Severus said with a scowl. He had already plucked at least three splinters from his fingers already, and he was sure there was more to come as he glanced at the moulding and decrepit wood. If he and Remus had really been from the London Metropolitan Board of Works, this building would have failed utterly.

“Can’t we? We’ll put it all back to rights after we’ve got the Horcrux. This is the most logical place for it to be. Everything else would have been changed during the renovations,” Remus said, using a charm to pry a plank of wood up, which splintered and cracked in half, leaving half of it still in place.

“Perhaps not. These could be the original walls, for instance, although I’m sure that window is an addition. The main framing structure of the building was kept, just gutted and changed to accommodate the hotel’s needs.” Severus had entered what Remus affectionately called ‘Professor Mode’, with his lecture tones in full swing.

“So what, are we going to start knocking holes in the walls as well? There’s got to be a better way,” Remus insisted, quite desperately, if he was honest with himself.

“Do you have a better idea?” Severus asked, his eyebrow nearly lost in his hair, it had risen so high on his forehead.

“The detection spells might not be working because of some ward in place, but perhaps we’re going about it the wrong way. When Dumbledore found that ring, he was cursed horribly. Finding it in a hollow in the wall is just too easy, there’s got to be a catch,” said Remus. As much as he wanted this to be an easy and pain-free mission, he knew he wasn’t fooling himself or his husband.

S~S~S~S

Harry angled the blade down as he held it just above his arm, taking a deep breath as he pressed the cold steel down into his flesh. It stung, and his eyes began to water, but he’d been through worse pain before. Much worse. He dug the blade in a bit deeper, than began to drag it forward, from the crease of his elbow all the way down to his wrist. By the time he got to his wrist, his right hand was shaking so bad that the line wasn’t exactly straight, but that was ok with him. It did the job all the same.

His eyes were burning, and the tears had started to fall fast and thick as the blood flowed from his arm. He had intended to do the other arm, too, but his left arm hurt so much, there was no way he could raise the blade, or draw it down his right arm as he’d planned. One arm was good enough. It would take him a little longer to bleed out, but that was fine. His life had never been easy, so it only made sense that his death be just as difficult and drawn out.

S~S~S~S

After casting every detection spell they knew, Remus and Severus were about as frustrated as they’d ever been. None of their spells seemed to completely form, dissipating before they could take effect. Remus had even tried to undo whatever wards were obviously in place, but they slipped out of his grip every time he sensed them enough to cancel them.

“This is not working! What are we missing here?” Remus asked, clenching his wand in his fist as he the urge to punch the wall grew stronger and stronger. Now tearing the room to pieces seemed like a fantastic idea after all.

“I think, perhaps, there needs to be some sort of payment,” said Severus, his voice far away as he rolled up the left sleeve of his Muggle coat. The Dark Mark that marred his flesh was on full display, and suddenly the air around them became thick.

“Payment? What do you mean?”

Severus moved around the room, the Dark Mark still exposed. He could feel the torrents of dark magic getting stronger as he moved, an unpleasant tingle prickling at the skin imprinted with Voldemort’s mark. “This is precisely what I meant by ‘payment’. The magic that’s protecting the Horcrux senses the Dark Lord’s magical signature from the Mark. It’s calling to it.”

Remus looked nervous as he watched his husband kneel in the centre of the hotel room. The Dark Mark had gone from a rusty colour to pitch black, something Remus had only seen when Voldemort had used the Mark to summon his followers. “It’s feeding off of your Mark, Severus. That can’t be good.”

Severus glanced up at his husband with a scowl as he turned his arm flat so that the Mark pointed toward the floor. The carpet had been torn up here already, the wooden planks exposed. As Severus moved his arm closer, the Mark began to burn, almost the same way he had felt it burn innumerable times before when being summoned. “Hence why it is called ‘payment’, Remus. It’s not intended to be a pleasant thing.”

“You don’t know what it’ll do to you, Severus. I prefer you live to see our daughter born. If Voldemort hadn’t have killed Dumbledore, the curse from that ring would have.”

Severus sent a withering glare at his husband. Did the man think he was a complete invalid? “I don’t plan on being cursed, Remus. I’m simply trying to locate this bloody thing. Hopefully payment won’t be a limb, or worse – a wand.”

Something seemed to click in Remus’ mind, and with sudden clarity, he knew that’s exactly what it was going to take to find this Horcrux. Without stopping to consider his actions, Remus knelt down and placed his wand before him on the floor, rolling it a bit away from himself. The reaction was immediate as the floorboards about a foot away from Severus began to pulse with a red glow.

“Get it, Severus. I won’t be able to get near my wand without being cursed six ways from Sunday.”

Severus was glaring over at his husband, who didn’t dare move from his submissive position, lest he upset the magic protecting the Horcrux. Stupid man. “You may not be able to retrieve your wand at all, Remus. Just because I remove the Horcrux, doesn’t mean the curse will end. What were you thinking?”

Remus sighed as he looked at his husband through his peripheral vision, unable to even move his head a few inches to meet the man’s eyes. “I was thinking that we needed to get this bloody Horcrux and get back home to our son and unborn daughter. Getting a new wand is a small price to pay for a piece of Voldemort’s soul. Now get the bloody thing before it decides to curse me on principle.”

Severus continued to grumble under his breath as he moved towards the glowing floorboards. Instead of using a gouging charm, fearing the reaction the magic might have and what it would do to Remus, Severus knelt down and pried the board in the centre up, earning himself a few splinters. He checked for more curses, but there didn’t seem to be anything affecting this board, so with a deep breath, Severus reached into the small opening. His fingers met with something damp and soft. Hoping for the best, but fearing for the worst, Severus grabbed the thing – whatever it was – and pulled it out.

“A baby blanket? Really, you’d think Voldemort would be a little less sentimental,” Severus groused, holding the dingy blanket out at arm’s length, studying the initials stitched into one corner: T.M.R.

“Never underestimate the insane, love.”

The red glow seemed faded from the floorboards as Severus stood, folding the offending object up into a small square. The oily, thick feeling of disgust that wafted from the blanket made him nauseous.

Remus’ wand rolled back toward him of its own volition, clattering benignly into his knee. With a deep sigh of relief, Remus picked the length of wood up, clutching it tightly. He had been honest; his wand was a small price to pay, but losing one’s wand was akin to losing a limb, and he was not looking forward to the magical strain that getting a new wand was bound to cause. He’d had this very wand since he was eleven, and it was like he had almost lost his oldest friend. Joining Severus by the door, Remus lifted said wand and cast a plethora of mending and cleaning charms, putting the room back to rights.

“Let’s go home.”

S~S~S~S

Harry felt the strength draining from him, slowly at first, then quicker as the blood made such a large pool around him that he started to feel sick just at the sight. He didn’t recall how or when, but his legs were now stretched out before him, and he was listing to the side more and more every second that he sat there. He felt cold, so cold, and that’s when the thoughts began to flow through his mind quicker than the blood from his arm.

I should have kissed him one more time...I should have told them I loved them, all of them...I should have hugged my dad and Moony again before they left...I should have told Hermione she looked beautiful today...I should have told Ron that I forgive him for everything one more time...I should have apologized to Ginny one last time...I should have told Dad and Moony to tell my sister that I loved her…

As the last drops of blood leaked from his arm and his vision began to tunnel, Harry slumped all the way to the floor, his cheek landing wetly in the pool of his own blood. The last thought that swam sluggishly through his brain before he lost consciousness left his lips as well, though no sound accompanied it.

I’m sorry...

And then all was black, and Harry...was gone.

The End.
End Notes:
Yes, this is probably the most horrible cliff hanger of the entire story, and I apologize! However, the chapter had to end here; it didn’t make sense without the cut. I’ll try my hardest to update a little sooner, but summer school in college is kicking my ass right now.


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1860