1994

It was not like Snape to worry over something that he had said, whether it was insulting or not. The only time the wizard had ever truly regretted his harsh tongue was when he had insulted Lily their fifth year at Hogwarts together. But now Severus regretted his terrible words to Harry, his son. How ironic that he seemed to be the harshest with the people he cared about the most. Did he care about Harry? Yes, yes of course he cared about the boy. Why else would he have gone through all this trouble to keep the boy safe?

It was hard for Severus to sleep, and so he decided that he would not sleep. What rest could he find after such a pointless argument, and after he had been so unreasonable? Of all the faults he had been dealt out, why did the chief among them have to be a short temper? The wizard was convinced that he could have gotten along better had he just been given a more reasonable temperament.

When the sun began to peek over the earth, and rise, was when the Potions Master decided that he should not waste time being idle any longer. An apology was in order, he knew it, but for the life of him, Severus knew that he was not good at such things. He never had been. He had apologized far too much in his youth for nothing, and understanding when it was appropriate to give one as an adult was still hard. He had enjoyed the blessings of maturity without his parents when he never had to say he was sorry about anything. It was only when he was to the breaking point with guilt had he actually begun to realize when such actions were needed, but by then it was mostly too late.

But not this time. No, Severus might not be an orator when it came to apologies, but he would show Harry how sorry he was. He would let the boy discuss the events of the night before on his own good time. Pushing never helped solve anything, especially if Harry really was Snape’s son. Severus believed that as long as he showed that he was repentant and let Harry come to terms with all this, that they would soon be back into the blessed state of numb wonder at the other.

For the first couple of hours, the wizard set about cleaning up the house, even though it was already clean. Once that was done, Severus quickly looked for something else to do, lest he go mad until the hour was decent and Harry would wake. Merlin, what was happening to him? He hadn’t been this anxious since the last Death Eater meeting! And Merlin, that hadn’t even been a full week ago!

But time was against him, and the wizard found that every time he looked at the clock, it was not as far ahead as he thought it should be. What had felt like it had taken thirty minutes at least had only amounted to three minutes. It figured that when he was potion making time slipped away as easily as water over rock, but when he wanted time to pass by quickly, it sat still.

Alone, Severus sighed and flung himself haphazardly down on the sofa, much like a distraught teenager. Although he realized his action, he did not much care at the moment. All he wanted to do was sleep and never wake up, or, alternatively, wake up and find that everything had been a dream. Merlin, what was wrong with him that he would want to go back into the Death Eater thong? He had never considered himself suicidal, but after realizing this…

With nothing else to do, the wizard sat upon the couch and picked up a book to read, though Merlin knew he could not concentrate much on any of the words. He had had to read and reread the same passage over and over again just because his mind would wander to the past. With that in mind, the Potions Master abandoned his book and went to retrieve Lily’s journal.

Once holding the precious leather-bound book, Severus sat down gently and carefully opened it up to read a few passages once more.

Severus closed the journal, his face blank, trying to ward off the emotions that threatened to drown him. There was no way around it, he had to let Harry know he was sorry. He did not want to lose the son he had just found. He did not want to let Lily down.

*******

When Harry woke up, it was once again to the smell of eggs and bacon. Rolling over with a groan, the teenager wished he could simply go back to sleep and not wake up. Yet the longer he laid there, trying to ignore the delicious smells, the more he began to wish that he was not so hungry. But hunger was his undoing, and soon the teenager found himself out of bed and heading for the door.

Just as Harry was about to open the door and walk out into the hall, he remembered one very important thing: he was angry with Snape! After everything they had gone through the last couple of days and how they had gotten along so well had all been wasted after last night when the Potions Master just decided to get angry for no reason whatsoever!

Resentment bringing him into focus, Harry spun back around and glared about his room. While he was angry, he was finding it more and more difficult to really stay angry with the wizard. After all, Harry was only here in this nice little room in Wales because the Potions Master had decided not to abandon his son to his in-laws anymore. And the fact that Snape was feeding him three times a day every day was also very nice, something Harry wasn’t going to take for granted.

Sitting on the end of his bed, the young wizard tried to think. His head hurt. Ever since yesterday, he did not feel like the same person anymore. His thoughts felt all confused and he did not know what to do anymore. There was a part of him that wanted to hang on to his past resentment and another part that just wanted to let it go, let it die. There was an annoyingly rational part in his mind that told him that although Snape could be a really mean, blunt man sometimes, it really did seem like he was trying to be kind.

Looking over to the mirror, Harry jumped a little when he saw the face looking back at him. It was not his normal face… it was his real face. That face was what he really was. In that face there was Severus Snape, just as there was Lily Evans Snape. It became apparent to Harry then that no matter what he thought of the Potions Master, that man was always going to be his father now. Somehow Harry was convinced that no matter what he did, Snape would always come to his aide. It was actually a very comforting thought.

Sighing, realizing that perhaps he had over reacted too, the young Gryffindor got up and opened up his closet. He recalled yesterday that… his father, had wanted him to get dressed before coming to the table in the morning. It made sense really, and Harry had always done it previously before Snape stepped in, and the boy wondered why he hadn’t kept up with his usual habit lately.

Once dressed, again, in his school attire, Harry opened his door and walked down the hall to find his father once again at the stove cooking. But unlike the previous morning, Harry did not offer to help, nor did Severus act particularly inviting. Instead, the Potions Master went about his task in silence before he set Harry’s plate out before him with eggs, bacon, hash browns, and some toast, and to drink, milk and another nutrition potion.

Only when Severus sat down did Harry pick up his silverware and begin to eat as well. With guarded eyes, Harry tried to steal glances of his father, trying to determine the other man’s mood by watching him. It appeared that whatever his temper last night, the Potions Master looked worn and tired that morning, as though he had not gotten much sleep the previous night. Curious, the younger wizard decided to store that thought away for later use.

Breakfast was completed in relative silence with only the sound of the silverware clanking once and a while and cups being picked up and set down. Other than that, there really was not much noise. Neither Harry nor Severus particularly wanted conversation. But at last, the younger wizard could no longer stand it. “What are we going to do today?” he asked quietly.

There was a moments pause before the elder Snape finally answered. “I thought we might walk into town today,” he said softly. “Do some shopping.”

The thought of the infamous Potions Master shopping for practical items such as cleaning supplies and groceries seemed very strange to Harry and he had to stop himself form laughing. All he could really do was think of the black cloaked wizard walking down the aisles of a Muggle supermarket. It was quite humorous to the fourteen year old, but he kept it to himself.

“Alright,” Harry said instead. “When are we leaving?”

“After I clean off the table,” the older man said, before going back to his coffee. Harry could not really remember seeing the Potions Master drink coffee before this summer. Strange.

But true to his word, Severus cleared the dishes off the table and left them to soak in the sink while he grabbed a wallet, a strange thing to see Snape grab, and his wand, the elder wizard tucked away both before he nodded towards the door. Understanding that it was time to go, Harry obeyed easily. They two wizards went out into the morning to find it bright and cheery.

********

“Oh, now look at the pair of ya!” Mrs. Cadogan came out of nowhere. “You are both looking well this morning.”

“Mrs. Cadogan,” Severus bowed his head to the elder woman. Harry smiled at her warmly.

“And where do ya all think you’re going this fine morning?” she asked, her eyes twinkling merrily. “Out for a bit of a jaunt?”

“We were actually going to do a bit of shopping, to tell the truth,” Severus explained patiently. He had learned this from teaching many students and putting up with a crazy Headmaster for so long.

“Shopping?” the old woman exclaimed. “What, men? My dear Mr. Brandon, I’m no’ sure what people have told you, but the men do not do the shopping. That’s a woman’s job and delight.

“As there is not woman in my life and I do wish to eat, I suppose that duty falls to me now,” Severus tried to smile, but it came out as a frown.

The old woman instantly felt sorry for all her teasing. Even she could tell that there was something wrong with the wizard before her. It really was not all that hard to tell. “I’m sorry, my dear,” she said repentantly. “I had truly meant nothing by it.”

Cursing himself for letting on that he was feeling more towards the melancholy side, Severus snuck a look at Harry to find that the boy was also looking at him worriedly. It really surprised the professor to find his son, the boy that was supposed to still be, in every right, furious with him, looking up at him with pity in his green eyes. Merlin, but the boy was like Lily!

“I took no offense,” the older man bowed his head again, hoping to reassure the old woman.

“I am glad to hear it,” Mrs. Cadogan smiled. “But that puts me in mind… you are still relatively new here in this part of the country, why don’t you let me help you shop around? I could take you to the stores that are more reasonably priced, and not too expensive because they’re tourist traps.”

Not wanting the old woman to hang around, but also not wanting to get scammed on money, the professor just wanted to sigh, but did not. “Alright,” he answered.

“Excellent!” Mrs. Cadogan exclaimed merrily. “What store first? I know! How about-”

“We first need to go to a clothing store,” Severus cut in.

“A clothing store?” the Muggle looked up at the tall wizard for a moment in confusion. “Whatever for?”

Noticing once again that Harry was watching him again too, Severus instinctively stiffened. “My son’s grown too fast this summer. I need to get him a new wardrobe.”

Of all the things that his father could have said, that was one of the last things Harry would have ever thought of. Snape, his father, was going to buy him clothes? New clothes? Nice clothes? No one had ever done that for him, except himself. With the Dursleys he had only ever gotten Dudley’s hand-me-downs, but now Snape was going to let him get good, nice clothes? This was unreal.

But Harry’s awe and Severus’s distinct uncomfortableness escaped the old woman’s notice as she was just excited about the prospect of shopping. And before either of the men knew what was happening, Mrs. Cadogan took Severus’s arm and Harry’s hand and drug each one along to a shop.

While the old woman chattered happily, Severus and Harry at last locked eyes, and it was apparent to both that the other was sorry. Harry smiled at the Potions Master shyly, while the professor gave a jerky nod, one that Harry could tell was supposed to mean more, but the elder wizard was unsure as to how to show it.

In the clothes shop, Mrs. Cadogan practically made Harry play dress up, making him try on everything in sight. And even though Harry grumbled and even got scolded by the old woman, secretly he enjoyed the attention and the complements the Muggle was so comfortable throwing out. He even liked the clothes that he was trying on. It felt nice, and he did not feel so trashy anymore.

For his part, Severus thought he might go mad with waiting. He had never been one to like shopping for anything other than books and potion ingredients. He only really liked clothes shopping when they were either for him, or when he went with Lily and got to see her in all kinds of very pretty and, sometimes, revealing outfits. But that was another thought entirely.

By the end, all three were tired. It was then that Harry worried about the cost, but was slightly surprised when Severus bought just about everything Harry had tried on, with the exception of the items Harry had not liked, with hardly a blink of an eye. The young wizard had never once thought about his father’s financial standing much, but it, again, seemed clear that Severus Snape was not a poor man, no matter how cheap he could be at times.

Mrs. Cadogan left them before supper time, saying she had grandchildren coming at six, and left father and son on their own for dinner. Time had flown as the three of them had had their fun. It seemed almost impossible that a whole day had gone by without a hitch, but it appeared it had.

Going behind a store, Severus looked this way and that before pulling out his wand and shrinking the bags of Harry’s clothes. After putting them safely in his pockets, the elder wizard took Harry out to dinner, and later, ice cream.

When they got home at last, Severus un-shrank the clothes and set the bags down near Harry’s closet. “You really shouldn’t have gotten me all this,” Harry shifted a bit guiltily.

“Think of it as a late birthday gift,” the Potions Master said smoothly. “Besides, it is my duty as a father to provide a house, food, and clothes for my child. It really is the very least I can do, Harry.”

“It still cost a lot,” the boy smiled shyly at his father.

“Do not think of that,” the elder wizard nodded. “I am not as poor as people might think.”

Smiling fully, Harry looked about his room again, the room his father had given him. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “About last night, I mean.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Severus stared into his son’s eyes. “The fault was mine, and I am sorry too.”

The two wizard stood there for a moment before Harry laughed. “We’re really going to have to work on this, aren’t we?”

“Indeed we are,” Snape drawled. “Put your clothes away and then go to bed.”

“Alright,” Harry said, still chuckling. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Both went to bed distinctly happier than the night before.

*******

Hermione received a letter form Ron urging her to come stay with his family for a week or so, or as long as she wanted. The invitation was vague, not meeting the full approval of the clever little witch, but nevertheless, she was excited about it. She had dearly missed her friends from school, even if they had only been parted for about a month's time.

Shoving aside some of her school assignments that she was checking over, Hermione began to compose a message back for Ron. She accepted his invitation, as her parents had also approved of it as well, just perhaps not for the whole summer. But she was happy about it none the less. She longed to see the Weasleys again. She and Ginny had become fast friends.

But what really intrigued the little witch was the fact that Ron had mentioned his parents acting very strange. The account he gave he even admitted was not the full tale, but it was still interesting. Mrs. Weasley coming home crying and Mr. Weasley deathly pale worried Hermione and she hoped that nothing terribly wrong had happened. And the fact that Mr. Weasley had asked Ron to invite her over especially was even more interesting.

Ron said that it had to be some big conspiracy of some sort, but from what was said, Hermione was not so sure. All she wished for was that Harry would also be able to come, get away from his terrible relatives, and then the three of them could solve this new puzzle. She really was concerned about the Weasley parents.

After writing her response, Hermione sent the letter back with Ron’s owl, Pig, and then when back to organizing her desk. Her mind was racing with the possible reasons for the Weasleys’ odd behavior. It was actually enough to take her focus off of her schoolwork.

Hermione thought through just about every possibility that she could, remembering that Ron had said his parents had gotten back from some sort of meeting. Ron had said that his parents acted as though someone had died. Maybe someone had, one of their old friends, perhaps? It would not be so farfetched, especially since You-Know-Who’s agents were becoming more active.

Whatever the case, Hermione was just glad of an excuse to travel somewhere, even if it was just the Borrow and she could not wait to see her friends. I wonder what Harry will make of this? she thought as she began stacking up more books.

It never occurred to the young witch that Ron’s parents’ distress was because of Harry. It was not even a shadow of a thought that it might be Harry that was the one that had been killed in this silent war.