Alea Iacta Est by EllaEleniel
Past Featured StorySummary: After a series of tests to discover why Harry's magic has become erratic, a secret is revealed, one hidden for over fifteen years. But not all secrets disappear without consequence, leaving Severus to learn that potions cannot heal everything.
Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape, Healer Snape, Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: Profanity
Challenges: None
Series: Alea Iacta Est
Chapters: 45 Completed: No Word count: 170990 Read: 433723 Published: 29 Jul 2009 Updated: 23 May 2012
Fear, Not Love Conquers All by EllaEleniel

It was raining in London when Severus apparated into a dark alley a few blocks from the red phone booth that served as an entrance to the Ministry of Magic. Scowling, Severus cast an impervious charm. He did not take the extra time to make himself presentable as the missing Prince heir for nothing. Severus strode down the street, avoiding the large puddles as much as possible despite the charm, anxious to get to his destination. Normally, the Potions Master hated going to the Ministry as it was filled with incompetent fools who only served to make his life more difficult, but this time was different. He hadn't felt this level of anxiousness upon approaching the Ministry since he took his Apparition test at seventeen.

Finally, the phone booth was within reach. Severus yanked the door open and slid inside before shutting it. He picked up the phone and spelled out magic with the keypad, thankful for the time spent with his aunt and uncle as a child. He had seen many a wizard or witch take five minutes to dial the phone, but for him, the task was as ordinary as flicking his wand.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business," the lady's voice filled the phone booth.

"Severus S-" he paused, stopping himself from giving the ingrained response. He certainly couldn't walk into WCS with a badge stating he was Severus Snape. "Severus Prince. I have business with Wizarding Child Services."

A moment later a silver name badge slid out of the coin return on the phone. He hung up the phone before grabbing the badge out of the slot, ignoring the lady's voice to keep it affixed to the front of his robes at all times. He knew the routine. Severus pinned the name badge to his light blue shirt. He had foregone robes to avoid any connection to the snarky Potions Master. The phone booth started its descent and moments later the door opened to reveal the busy Atrium.

This was it. By this same time tomorrow it was likely the whole wizarding world would know of the return of Severus Prince. WCS business was supposed to be kept confidential, but Severus knew that meant nothing, and even if the WCS workers managed to keep their mouths shut, his name would be listed in the Ministry visitors log. As much as the thought would've distressed him a month ago, Severus found himself more concerned with keeping his business for visiting the Ministry a secret for Harry's sake. It was his job to protect the child, now more than ever.

Severus wove his way through the crowded Atrium to security. The security guard looked bored and disinterested until he stepped up to the desk, the guard's eyes scanning his name badge. "Mr. Prince?" the man whispered in disbelief, his back straightening in his chair.

Nodding, he handed over his wand before the guard could ask him. "I do have other matters to attend to today," Severus implied, using the power the Prince name gave him. "I don't think I need to ask that this stay between us." The Slytherin raised an eyebrow as he slid ten galleons across the desk.

"Of course, sir," the guard handed Severus' wand back to him before pocketing the money.

Severus turned on his heel with his wand back in place and proceeded through the golden gates to the lifts. He boarded a lift with a crowd of other witches and wizards. Wishing to avoid the others as much as possible, Severus moved to the back of the lift where people were less likely to pay attention to him. Floor by floor witches and wizards got off until he was the only one left on the lift as it reached Level One.

It figured the WCS office was located on the highest floor along with the Minister of Magic's office. The Ministry could never do anything right. How practical was it to have the WCS office on the highest floor when most people visiting the office had children in tow? To make the parents and children ride all the way up to Level One was cruel and insane and not just for the visiting children. Severus could only imagine how many headaches screaming children over the years had caused. Surely, it would make more sense to move the WCS office to a space off the Atrium or even to Levels Seven or Six if space couldn't be found.

"Level One - The Minister of Magic's office including his secretaries and assistants and Department of Wizarding Child Services," the lady's voice from the phone booth said as the lift came to a stop.

Once the doors opened, Severus stepped out onto Level One. It was obvious which side of the floor belonged to WCS as the walls were enchanted with childish murals of animals in a jungle scene. The right side led straight to a desk where a young Auror, possibly one still in training sat guard.

Rolling his eyes at the lion that growled at him, Severus followed the jungle mural down the hallway to the WCS office. The door, which was included in the mural, was open and Severus took a deep breath before walking into the office. Harry's file was somewhere in this office and Severus was itching to get his hands on it, even though he was frightened by what the file could contain, though he'd never admit it.

A piece of parchment hit him on the head as he entered causing him to mumble a few choice words. He plucked the small scrap of parchment from his head where the number fourteen was scrawled upon it in precise writing.

"Please take a seat and wait for your number to be called. Wizarding Child Services apologizes for the wait and will be with you as quickly as we can. In an effort to ensure the brightest future possible for all wizarding children, please be patient," a friendly female voice emitted from the parchment.

Severus scowled. He didn't have time for this, but knew if he wanted to view Harry's file he must wait patiently or the witches at the counter who were currently busy with disgruntled parents would never allow him access to it. He would just have to suffer through the wait and hope it didn't take long. Severus needed to get back to Harry incase the side effects worsened or the Dark Lord tried to penetrate his mind again.

Without much of a choice, Severus peered around the waiting area, looking for a secluded spot away from unruly children. The waiting area was full of them along with their young parents. The young children, most appeared no more than six, ran up and down the rows of chairs screaming and yelling like it was a playground. Groaning, Severus walked to the back corner opposite of the door, which was somewhat childfree as a stern looking grandmother scared off all the young children with her glare as she held a sleeping newborn.

The Potions Master cast numerous cleansing and sterilization charms before sitting down, stretching out his long limbs. It wouldn't do to bring back whatever icky germs the children had left behind for Harry to contract with his compromised immune system.

"That's no way to raise a child," the grandmother mumbled under her breath, but he could tell the comment had been directed at him.

"Excuse me?" Severus glared at the women. How dare she comment on how he chose to raise his own child?

"I hope you don't insist on casting sterilization charms on everything before you let your child touch something," she stated, shaking her head. "It harms the child more than it helps them. If you clean everything the child never builds up basic immunities from the most common illnesses."

"My child," Severus hissed, his fingernails digging into his fists, "happens to be very ill, so ill that the common cold could kill him so excuse me if I wish to take the necessary precautions to ensure my child has a fighting chance to live."

The grandmother's mouth snapped shut, and she blushed before looking away. Severus growled, figuring it served her right. He didn't know where the protective feelings had come from or when they had started to materialize, but he would do all he could to protect Harry from the entire wizarding world if he had to for as long as Harry needed it.

"Number six," a witch called from the counter. Severus sighed. He had a long wait ahead of him.

-----

 

Ron and Ginny sat atop packed trunks in the living room of the Burrow. The family was moving to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place that afternoon as a safety precaution for at least the summer. The two youngest Weasleys were excused from helping the rest of the family pack as they were underage and couldn't use magic outside of school.

"It isn't fair," Ginny complained while she painted her fingernails a pale pink with Muggle nail polish Hermione had given her. "I don't see why we can't stay here. We just got home."

"I know, but Mum and Dad say it isn't safe," Ron fiddled with a loose string on his tee shirt. "Maybe we'll see Harry this way. Snape can't keep him in lessons all day, everyday."

"I'd hate to be Harry, stuck with the greasy git for the summer," Ginny shuddered as she moved on to paint the fingernails on her right hand.

"What is that stuff? It stinks!" Ron scrunched up his nose.

"Muggle nail polish. Hermione says Muggle girls use it all the time. I thought I'd give it a try," Ginny shrugged.

"Muggle girls must be crazy then to think anyone would want to be around them smelling like that!" Ron edged away from his sister as he waved his hand in front of his face.

"The smell goes away when it dries," Ginny rolled her eyes. "Has Harry written back to you yet?"

"No. I bet Snape hasn't even given Harry his mail."

"Isn't it curious though that Harry hasn't written to tell you his blood tests or whatever they were called, were mixed up?" Ginny pointed out.

"I guess so, but maybe that's why Dumbledore told Mum," Ron picked up the nail polish bottle from Ginny's trunk to examine it.

"I don't know. Mum's been acting weird since she returned. Do you think she's lying to us so we wouldn't worry?" she said, reaching down to dip the brush back into the bottle, only to find it missing. "Ron, I'm not finished with that!"

"Sorry," Ron set the bottle back down. "You're right, but I doubt we'll know anything until we see Harry. Mum and Dad seem to be telling us less and less." Ron sighed as blew his bangs away from his eyes. His mum had been threatening to cut his hair, but so far he had successfully avoided her and her scissors.

"I hope Snape lets Harry visit us soon. I don't like what's going on," Ginny twisted the nail polish bottle shut.

"Me neither. Something isn't right." Ron and Ginny shared a look, a look that said they agreed that something was going on with their friend, but were helpless to do anything about it. Instead of dwelling on it, the two siblings moved over to the chess set to play a lazy game as they waited for the rest of the family to be ready to leave.

 

-----

 

At a gentle shake to his shoulder, Severus startled awake and fell off his chair as he reached for his wand. He landed tangled up on the germ-infested carpet with his wand pointed at the elderly witch.

"Son, I'm sorry to startle you, but your number was just called," she tilted her head towards the counter with her free hand held out to him.

Right. He's must've dozed off while waiting for his number to be called. It was uncharacteristically negligent of him, but he was so tired. Minerva had been right in thinking he needed a break to sleep, but he couldn't, not while his mind demanded answers.

"Thank you," Severus recovered, taking the grandmother's hand to help him off the floor. He gave her a polite nod before heading to the counter, his apprehension and anxiety growing with each step.

"May I help you?" a young witch smiled up at him as he approached the counter.

"Yes. I'd like to view my son's file," he forced out, unable to keep his voice steady. Although he had snapped at the grandmother and referred to Harry as his son in his comments to her, this was different. The witch was a Ministry official, and it made it sound all the more real.

"Of course. Your son's name?" she asked while dipping her quill into a black inkwell.

"Har-, Hadrian Prince."

The witch's quill fell from her hand, her eyes wide. "Please follow me, Mr. Prince," she choked out after reading his name badge.

Severus followed her to a small cramped office. "Please take a seat. My supervisor will be with you in a moment," the witch motioned for him to sit down in the chair in front of the desk. "We're awfully sorry for making you wait, Mr. Prince. If we'd known, we would've helped you sooner."

"It is fine, but please tell your supervisor that my time is limited," he said as he sat down in the cushy chair.

"I will," the witch nodded from the doorway. She disappeared to presumably find her supervisor giving Severus a few minutes to look around the quaint office.

Moving pictures of various children were stuck onto one wall; each child was smiling, some even waved to him. The opposite wall was black by what appeared to be some kind of blackboard paint or adhesive.  Chalk drawings littered the wall, ranging from stick figures and scribbles to detailed drawings. It was clearly an office which children frequented as even the desk was covered in colorful handprints.

"Mr. Prince?" a smiling woman, who appeared to be around the same age as he was, questioned as she walked into the office. What was with all the smiles? Were the WCS workers really that happy to be working there? Between their smiles and the colorful juvenile decorations, Severus thought he'd go insane before he ever got to read Harry's file.

"Yes," he nodded. "And you are?"

"Althea Kingston, Head of WCS." Severus shook her outstretched hand before she took a seat behind the desk. "What brings you here today?"

"I wish to view my child's file," Severus repeated. How many times was he going to have to reiterate his intentions? "Is there a problem?"

"You must understand, here at WCS our mission is to protect innocent children. There are necessary safeguards in place before any adult is allowed to view their child's file, especially when the file in question is sealed as you know," Althea explained while digging out a form from her desk.

"What do I need to do?" the Potions Master asked, starting to become desperate, though he refused to show it.

"I need you to fill out this form," she set the form and never-out quill in front of him. "The bottom half of the form is a consent form allowing me to test your magical signature against your identify. I'll also need to see a proper form of identification, and if everything checks out, then you'll be able to view your son's file."

Nodding, Severus filled in the form as quickly as his fingers allowed him to write. He passed the form back to her, and she took a minute to look over it before taking out her wand and scanning his magical signature. The Potions Master watched her scribble something onto the form with trepidation. Had he been found out?

Severus had learned long ago how to limit the flow of his magic into his magical signature, which allowed him to effectively have two magical signatures; one at his full power level for Severus Prince, and a weaker one for Severus Snape. That small bit of magical theory he had stumbled upon while researching his seventh year Potions project had been one of the many things that together had helped to let him live his dual life.

"May I see your apparition license or Ministry issued identification card?" Althea asked, flicking her wand over the form. It glowed and spun around numerous times before floating back down to the desk, indicating a match between his stated identification and magical signature.

"Of course," Severus fished out his apparition license and handed it over. She glanced over it, returning it to him as she stood from her desk. "Come. I'll escort you to the file viewing room."

Pocketing his apparition license, Severus followed her down the hall to another small room with trembling hands. He was really going to view Harry's, his son's file and finally receive the answers he so desperately needed.

The room was bare with a high table set in the middle. Severus watched as the Department Head walked over to a wall and tapped the bricks with her wand. Part of the wall swung open and she disappeared through the opening, bringing out Harry's file a few minutes later.

"Here," she said, lying a dusty locked box on the table. "Take as much time as you need. When you're finished, alert the clerk across the hall and she'll come find me."

"Thank you," Severus whispered, staring at his son's name written on the side of the box.

"You're welcome," Althea smiled and turned to go. "Oh, and Mr. Prince," she looked back towards him. "Welcome back to the wizarding world."

Severus swallowed hard once he heard the door click close behind him. The box screamed at him to be opened, yet at the same time, the small box intimidated him more than the Dark Lord ever had. Was it the right thing to do? What if after he found his answers and told Harry, the boy rejected him? Severus didn't know if he could continue caring for the child if that happened. He didn't know how it was possible, but the idea that Harry was his son was becoming more and more appealing.

He had already been growing fond of the sick child before he had opened that letter from WCS. Despite their previous animosities and perhaps through them, Severus saw shades of himself in the boy, and he wished to steer Harry away from becoming like him. It wouldn't be surprising if Harry were to turn cold and detached after so many adults had failed him. Yet, Harry had Lily's resiliency, and after everything the child had been through he still displayed the capacity to love and forgive. 

It had surprised Severus how attached the boy had become to him so quickly. Harry's actions spoke volumes concerning the care he had received from his Muggle relatives. Severus was determined to speak with Harry concerning his relatives, if only to help the boy realize none of it had been his fault. It was important for the child's wellbeing to be able to put his past behind him if were to become a happy, well-adjusted young adult.

But all of Severus' thoughts were for naught if he couldn't bring himself to open the box. He had been expecting a dusty warded file not a locked box that looked like it hadn't been open since Harry was born. How was he supposed to open it anyway? An Alohomora wouldn't do the trick. That simple spell wouldn't keep anyone out of Harry's file.

Taking a step closer to the table, The Potions Master blew away the dust from atop the box. He ran his fingers along Harry's apparent name. Hadrian Pax Alexander Prince. It didn't surprise him that Harry wasn't Harry's legal name. Lily was too smart to saddle her son with a childish nickname for his entire life. Harry was an unusual nickname for Hadrian, yet Severus scolded himself for not noticing how similar the two names were. Hadrian was one of his middle names for Merlin's sake. Perhaps if he hadn't been so blinded by Harry's resemblance to James, he would've figured out the clues long before receiving the letter from WCS.

As his finger traced over the last letter of Prince, the lock clicked open, the sudden noise causing Severus to jump back. He rolled his eyes at himself. After so many years as a successful spy, he was caught off guard by a lock clicking open? But this was more than just a lock clicking open. The box potentially contained an alternate history compared to what everyone believed.

With shaking hands, Severus lifted the lid of the wooden box, its hinges squeaking in protest after being closed for more than a decade to reveal a pile of parchment. A row of phials lined the bottom edge, each one filled with a silvery mist that could only contain collected memories.

So an Obliviate had been involved then. That made sense considering Severus couldn't recollect ever having intimate relations with Lily, but who had done the obliviating and why?

Severus reached for the top piece of parchment, Harry's official birth certificate. Harry's real name, the one on the box and in the letter was written on the first line. That much didn't surprise him, but his own spidery handwriting did. He glanced down the sheet of parchment. He had filled out every line except for Lily's signature at the bottom. It comforted him that he was present at his son's birth, even if he couldn't remember it. It meant that Harry's conception wasn't the result of a one-night stand that ended in Lily obliviating him.

After noting his son was born at 4:14 AM, Severus gently set aside the birth certificate in order to see what the other parchments contained. A letter with a red heart seal stood out to Severus. He turned it over and sure enough Lily's flowing script had written his name on the front. Severus broke the seal, bracing himself for what the letter contained.

 

My Dearest Severus,

Either congratulations are in order for the final defeat of Voldemort, or our son is dead or dying. I only hope it's the first and not the second. You insisted I didn't leave you any clues pertaining to our little Hadrian's parentage, but I couldn't follow your orders. I hope I'm forgiven as even this letter violates that.

It must come as a surprise to you that Harry as James and I have come to call him, is your son. I assure you nothing untoward happened. Right after James and I married, he was sent away on his first month long Auror assignment. By that time you and James had reconciled at my insistence since I couldn't stand to lose either of you. Yes, I know it's hard for you to believe, but you and James really were civil to one another.

Of course you know of the war progression at that time. Voldemort was gaining ground and his assignments for you were growing darker and darker. One night right before James left, you came to me in the middle of the night after returning from a Death Eater meeting. You had just seen Voldemort and his most trusted Death Eaters rape, torture, and kill a Muggle girl who was no older than fifteen. It disgusted you, yet you stayed at the meeting to ensure your cover wasn't blown, but I know how much it must've affected you. You have a heart, no matter how much you try to deny it, my Severus. You were a mess and were sure you wouldn't be able to stand another meeting like that one without getting killed.

I stayed up with you all night talking, as I knew if I sent you home to sleep, you'd be haunted by nightmares. Surprisingly, the one thing you regretted not experiencing before dying was raising a child. I know it may sound crazy to you now, but I assure you, you wanted a child more than anything in the world. I think you wanted your own son or daughter to cherish and experience the perfect childhood, unlike the unconventional and at times neglectful childhood that you endured between your parents and aunt and uncle.

My heart broke for you as you talked about teaching your child to brew before he could walk and sending him off to Hogwarts with hopes of him becoming a Ravenclaw as you said Gryffindors and Slytherins get into too much trouble.

I wanted to give you, my closest and dearest friend, that dream. After everything you had gone through and everything that promised you'd have to go through, I wanted to give you something to look forward to, a reason to live, but I was already wedded to James.

However, James surprised us both that morning. He had overheard our conversation and handed you the keys to a family cottage in the Welsh Highlands that to this day remains protected by the Fidelius charm with instructions to keep me safe while he was gone and permission to do as we wish. James was confident that my heart would always belong to him, but understood our very close friendship for what it was. I've always loved you, but our love for each other is based on friendship and perhaps a bit of attraction. You've always been handsome under those glamours you insist on holding up.

So with James' permission, you and I traveled to the charming cottage for a month where I was able to give you your dream. You were so ecstatic three weeks into our stay to discover I was pregnant with your child, as the child from the beginning would always be yours. It was understood that while James and I would watch over the child while you were working or called away, the child would be exclusively yours. I was just a necessary surrogate for you child.

Nine months later, I handed your healthy newborn over to you. I had never seen you smile as much as you did when Hadrian was placed in your arms. He had your dark hair and many of your distinctive facial features, but my nose. Hadrian was beautiful, and while it was hard for me to see you go home with the child I carried, I knew you'd make a wonderful father.

Hadrian became the focus of your life. You didn't even mind him waking you up numerous times a night as a newborn. Those eleven precious months you had with your son were amazing to watch. Fatherhood came natural to you and everyday Hadrian looked more and more like you. He had even mastered the infamous Severus glare before you could teach him to walk.

But as all happy things in your life seem to be, your time with Hadrian was limited. As Hadrian started taking his first steps and calling you dada, Voldemort grew more and more suspicious. You had kept your son hidden from the world, so Voldemort never knew of him. You were afraid not only because of the prophecy, but of what he'd ask pertaining to your child. He had already made Lucius Malfoy promise that his son would grow up to be a loyal Death Eater, and you'd never be able to make that promise.

Your fear for your child was your undoing, I'm afraid. A month before Hadrian's first birthday as we were preparing to go into hiding, you came to James and I once again, this time as a terrified father. You begged us to take Hadrian and obliviate you, but I couldn't. I just couldn't do that you, Severus. Not after seeing how happy Hadrian had made you. So you left, but it wasn't the last time I saw you before we went into hiding.

A week later you came back with Hadrian and all of his things. I knew from the moment I saw you that that was it. James and I were about to become full-time parents. Earlier in the day you had visited Professor Dumbledore, as he became somewhat of a mentor to you and had promised you a job once you had finished your training to become a Potions Master. I still don't know how you managed it, but you got Albus Dumbledore to swear the Unbreakable Vow to you. He vowed never to reveal Hadrian's true parentage to you unless Voldemort was dead or Hadrian died or was dying. Professor McGonagall served as the bonder and was obliviated right after.

I had never seen you as determined as you were that night. James took Hadrian while I tried to convince you that there had to be some other way. I believed then, and I still do that Hadrian was better off with you, but you're a very stubborn man. I couldn't change your mind, no matter how hard I tried.

There was nothing I could do but give up. I promised you I'd take care of our son, and James agreed to care for Hadrian as if he were his own. You put Hadrian to bed for the night in the small nursery we had set up for when you were called to Death Eater meetings before you came downstairs and proceeded to obliviate yourself.

I don't know how you did it, but somehow you managed to only erase the memories of Hadrian, and everything else was left in tact. You emerged from your trance with renewed hatred for James and proceeded to verbally assault him before leaving us with a crying baby boy who wanted no one but his dada.

It took a few days for James and Albus to alter everyone's memories, including Sirius, Remus, and Peter, so that Hadrian, now Harry was believed to be James' son.

I spent those days brewing an ancient potion that allowed Harry to look like James. It was successful as I'm sure you've noticed. I couldn't brew it without leaving some clues for you, so when we met for our last lunch before James and I went into hiding I gave you a final letter and told you to hold onto it. On the surface the letter read like a farewell, but it's actually the antidote to the potion Harry consumed. It's charmed to reveal the recipe upon dropping two drops of your blood onto it. I really hope you still have it. If not, ask the Headmaster about it. He helped me find the potion, and since you now know Harry is your son, the Vow is no longer in effect.

I'm so sorry for the time you've lost with your son. I hope it isn't too late for you two to reform the bond you had when he was a baby. You still retain full parental rights concerning our son. I never had the heart to change it. James and I never even changed Harry's name legally with hope that soon Voldemort will be defeated, and you can have your son back. We are very thankful you trust us with him, but Hadrian is and will always be your son.

Love,

Lily

 

P.S.: The phials contain memories you stored before obliviating yourself. I also knew WCS would be one of the first places you looked in search of answers and that's why I've chosen to leave this and other evidence there for you.

 

Severus dropped the letter faster than if it were burning him upon reaching the end. He was in shock; he couldn't believe what his reckless twenty-one year old self had done. It was more than irresponsible and how could he ever forgive himself for giving up his own son?  

To be continued...
End Notes:
Whew, that was a lengthy chapter for me. It never seemed to want to end. Did I take you by surprise? I have to say I'm anxious to hear what you think, so treats, not tricks for everyone who reviews. ;)

Thanks to all my readers. I want to give a shout out to alifromnm. If my counting is correct, she was reviewer 300! Yay, reviewers! You guys rock.


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1891