Alea Iacta Est by EllaEleniel
Past Featured StorySummary: After a series of tests to discover why Harry's magic has become erratic, a secret is revealed, one hidden for over fifteen years. But not all secrets disappear without consequence, leaving Severus to learn that potions cannot heal everything.
Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape, Healer Snape, Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: Profanity
Challenges: None
Series: Alea Iacta Est
Chapters: 45 Completed: No Word count: 170990 Read: 433766 Published: 29 Jul 2009 Updated: 23 May 2012
Silence Broken by EllaEleniel

Molly Weasley meandered around Grimmauld Place, checking on her children and their assigned cleaning tasks. If the house was to hold Sirius' memorial on Tuesday, the doxies needed to be dealt with and the rooms needed a thorough cleaning.

"Mum, can't we break for lunch yet?" Ron dropped a sponge into a bucket of soapy water before sitting back on his heels.

"You ate breakfast an hour ago." Molly shook her head. "Get back on your knees and start scrubbing. This house won't clean itself."

"Can't you use a few cleaning charms? My knees hurt." Ron wrung out the sponge.

"Cleaning charms can only do so much, and if you want Harry to come-"

"Harry's coming?" Ron jumped to his feet.

"It depends on how he's feeling, but he can't come if this house isn't cleaned now can he?" Molly pointed to the entrance hall's floor.

"Right." Ron dropped to his knees and started scrubbing.

Molly added more bleach to the list she was carrying around. She had flooed Poppy last night to ask what she needed to do to get Grimmauld Place safe for Harry to visit and to her surprise Miss Adamson had shown up early in the morning with tips to clean and sanitize the dreary house. Some of the tips were Muggle, like using diluted bleach that she'd sent Bill to the Tesco Express on the corner to retrieve. The chemical smell was horrible, but with a few ventilation charms they were managing. Harry wouldn't get ill from a visit as long as she had anything to say about it.

Satisfied that Ron wouldn't stop his task as soon as she rounded the corner, Molly headed into the drawing room where the twins were supposed to be cleaning the floo with magic. Instead she spotted two identical redheads packing some kind of candy creation into rows of small boxes.

"Boys!" Molly glared.

"Mum?" George knocked over the box he was filling.

"We can explain." Fred sent the boxes and candy floating over to the corner with a flick of his wand.

"I don't want an explanation! You two will clean the floo like I asked you to or else I'll take away your wands and send Fleur in here to watch you clean this entire room without magic." Molly banished the boxes and candy.

"Aren't you overreacting just a bit, Mum?" George patted her shoulder. "You love us too much to subject us to that torture."

Molly pushed George's hand down. "You'll have your wands out and casting before I finish this sentence or else Fleur it is!"

The twins scrambled over to the floo, and with their backs turned to her Molly waved her wand towards her most troublesome children.

"Mum, we're not two," Fred complained as the monitoring charm took effect.

"No? Then stop acting like it. Be good and I may remove it after dinner tonight."

"But we have a meeting at two in Diagon Alley."

"Then it better be an innocent and lawful meeting." Molly turned and exited the drawing room before the twins could protest further. She had a grocery list to make and china to clean.

*~AIE~*

Severus watched the Headmaster finish up a missive from his seat in front of the Headmaster's desk. He had declined tea and lemon tarts, but instead summoned a house-elf to bring him coffee. He didn't trust that the Headmaster's tea wasn't laced with a calming draught or something worse, not after Dumbledore's recent actions.

"I trust Harry's doing well or otherwise you wouldn't be here." Dumbledore poured himself a cup of tea with a sigh. "I know you are still angry with me, but it is in the Order's best interests if we agree to put that aside and work together. It is your son's future that's at stake."

"Harry's future is growing up into an adult, not as a weapon waiting to serve its purpose," Severus growled.

"Severus, you cannot deny that even if prophecy is rubbish, Voldemort believes it's true. Harry will continue to be a target as long as Voldemort lives."

"I can protect him, and I'll battle the Dark Lord if I must." Severus' voice was low and icy as he jumped up and leaned over the Headmaster's desk. "I don't see you doing anything besides positioning a child to fight an adults' war."

"Sit down, my boy. The situation is more complicated than you realize." The Headmaster's tone sounded tired and resigned.

"Then tell me and don't dance around the subject all day! I have a sick child to take care of!" Severus flopped back into the chair.

"What is it that you came to see me about? Did Harry have another vision?" Dumbledore redirected the conversation.

"I don't know." Severus looked out the window. "Harry had his second intrathecal injection and immediately before Miss Adamson injected the local anesthesia into Harry's back I saw his eyes turn red. He experienced unbearable pain with both of the shots that shouldn't have caused more than a bit of discomfort."

"What are these injections?"

"They deliver chemotherapy to the spinal fluid and the fluid surrounding his brain."

"I see. Was there anything different about this injection compared to his previous one?" The Headmaster walked over to a bookshelf.

"He was sedated for the first one."

"Interesting." Dumbledore set the book before the Potions Master. "Tell me, Severus, have you heard of horcruxes?"

"What? What do horcruxes have to do with my son?" Severus' gaze snapped to the open book in front of him. Whatever they were, the name alone wreaked of dark magic.

"Humor an old man and read the passage." Dumbledore waved his hand at the book.

Severus picked up the book and read the no-nonsense description of horcruxes, revulsion growing with each word his eyes registered. He stared at the end of the page. The Headmaster wouldn't have him read it if it didn't mean anything, but what did this darkest form of the dark arts have to do with Harry?

"No," Severus whispered, the book dropping from his hands.

"I'm afraid so. I've suspected it for some time, but this latest occurrence confirms it." The Headmaster leaned against his desk. "I tried to warn you not to get too close."

"There has to be some way." The Potions Master paced in front of the floo.

"I've tried other methods, Severus, and all have failed. Horcruxes must be destroyed."

"No!" Severus grabbed the dainty decorative bowl of floo powder and flung it across the room, the emerald green powder sparkling as it floated to the floor. "I'll find another way! A potion, a spell, whatever I have to develop or invent I will! He can't die!"

"There is time yet, and I will give you my notes."

"What do you mean, there's time?" Severus whipped around to face the Headmaster.

"I believe there are seven horcruxes, a very powerful number as you know, and three have been destroyed. With Harry, that leaves three unaccounted for. Voldemort never intended to make a horcrux out of Harry, and from what I can surmise, Voldemort doesn't suspect Harry carries a horcrux within his scar."

"Will the chemotherapy rid Harry of the horcrux? The Dark Lord is too arrogant to guard against Muggle means. Tell me, Albus! Tell me I'm not putting my child through painful treatments for nothing!" Severus ran his hand through his hair.

"Severus-"

"Albus, don't." The Potions Master held up his hand. "I have to believe there's some hope of the chemotherapy killing the horcrux when he can't have potions while he's going through his treatments, and if his treatments are stopped the cancer will kill him. I promised him I wouldn't let him die!"

"Sit down, Severus." Albus pushed him into a chair.

"I promised him, and now you tell me this!" Severus dropped his head into his hands. He felt like he knew less about his son than those ridiculous unauthorized biographies of the Boy Who Lived. "What else don't I know about my own child?"

"Nothing."

"Albus!"

"There's nothing else, my boy." Albus squeezed the Slytherin's shoulder. "Nothing else."

*~AIE~*

Harry squeezed his eyes shut against the offending light as the ache behind his scar pulsed and pounded. He rolled onto his side and pulled the blanket over his head.

"Harry," Severus whispered.

"Go away," Harry grumbled. He wanted to drift back to sleep where it was dark and silent, not listen and feel the beeps synchronize with the pulsating sensation of his headache.

"It's time to wake up."

"I don't want to." Harry burrowed further into his cocoon of blankets. His spot was warm and comfortable.

A cool breeze fluttered across his face. Harry cracked open one eye to see Severus peaking under the blanket. "You said that an hour ago."

"I did?" Harry didn't remember waking up an hour ago. "One more hour?"

"Not unless you wish to remain in the Hospital Wing well past dinner." Severus smirked.

"Fine." Harry pulled the blanket down, his elbows buckling under him as he tried to sit up.

"Don't sit up." Severus laid a hand on Harry's chest. "How are you feeling?"

Harry raised his arms above his head and stretched, wincing from the soreness in his back. "My head and back hurt."

"Does your back hurt, or is it sore?" Severus brushed away Harry's fringe.

"It's sore." Harry leaned into the Professor's hand.

"Here." Severus placed the PCA pump button in Harry's palm with his free hand.

"Thanks."

"Look up." Severus dropped a drop into each of his eyes before sliding Harry's glasses onto his face.

"Severus?" Harry caught Severus' reddened eyes now that his vision was clear.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?" Harry had expected Miss Adamson and Madam Pomfrey to descend upon him after he woke to check him over after how the chemo injection went.

"Nothing." Severus traced Harry's scar before cupping his cheek. "Nothing's wrong."

"You look like you've been crying."

"I'm just tired. It's been a long day." Severus smiled, the kind of smile that was forced and fake, but Harry didn't press the issue. Maybe his professor was tired, and there was nothing else to it.

"Please tell me that was the last intrathecal injection I'll need."

"I'm sorry it won't be the last, Harry, but Miss Adamson and I have already agreed that next time you'll be sedated so you won't have to go through that again. I should've had her sedate you today," Severus paused. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Harry was used to dealing with pain.

"No, it's not, child. You should've never had to deal with that pain, and it won't happen again."

Harry shrugged. He felt too tired and weak to be angry, not that his anger would do any good. What was done was done. They couldn't go back and change it.

He looked up at the ceiling to check if he was hallucinating or seeing anything out of the ordinary. Normally, he'd be shouting and screaming at anyone who was involved with the procedure, but he was a bit out of it with all the drugs they were giving him. There wasn't anything strange on the ceiling for a magical school.

"Miss Adamson has me drugged up again, doesn't she?"

"A bit." Severus squeezed his hand. "Are you feeling out of it?"

"Not really. I know I should be angry, but I can't seem to make myself care about being angry or not being angry." An image of his drugged self in Potions made him laugh. "Ow!" Harry grabbed his head.

"What's wrong?" Severus jumped to his feet, his wand clutched in his hand.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that Potions would've been so much easier with these drugs since I can't seem to get angry, and then I laughed but it made my headache worse." Harry forced a smile on his face.

"Don't frighten me like that, brat." Severus placed a cool cloth on Harry's forehead. "Does that help?"

"Yeah, and I'm sorry. You have to admit though that Potions would've been easier if I didn't fight back."

"A drugged student is just what I need in a room full of volatile equipment and ingredients." Severus rolled his eyes.

"Where are Miss Adamson and Madam Pomfrey?"

"Are you ready then to be poked and prodded?"

"Poked?" Harry's eyes widened.

"Not literally though she's going to do another tactile exam to make sure you didn't suffer any more nerve damage before she starts your chemo."

Harry groaned. He didn't want any more tests or chemo today. "Then do we get to go home?"

"After your chemo, yes, but I've brought Lord of the Rings to read to you if you're good." Severus nodded towards the stack of books on the bedside table.

"Fine." Harry huffed, wanting nothing more than to go home to his bed, Lord of the Rings or not.

*~AIE~*

Severus remained by Harry's bedside as Miss Adamson ran her scans and performed another tactile exam on his child, thankful that this time the tactile exam wasn't painful. The test showed more weakness in Harry's legs, but that was likely temporary and from the lumbar puncture. Miss Adamson then started the chemotherapy infusion.

Harry fell back to sleep, but Severus couldn't stop watching his son. His eyes lingered over the thunderbolt shaped scar. A living horcrux. His child was carrying a fraction of the worst megalomaniac of their time's soul within him!

How much could one child handle without breaking? Harry kept testing the limits, and each time Severus grew more worried that one more thing would send his child over the edge.

Harry wouldn't know of the horcrux. Severus feared explaining it to his son and refused to give Harry that impossible choice, but as Severus saw it there wasn't a choice. Harry was going to get married and give Severus grandchildren one day, not die. Harry had to live. Severus couldn't handle losing the child he'd gotten to know in the past two weeks, the child that was his own flesh and blood and Lily's last gift to him. Too many people had died needless deaths in this war, and Harry wasn't going to become another statistic to be forgotten in history.

Something had happened with the horcrux during the intrathecal injection. The Dark Lord never pushed in and out of Harry's mind that quickly, and there would've been a clear mental connection if the Dark Lord were attacking his child. The unexplainable pain had to have come from the horcrux feeling threatened. Why else would the pain have stopped otherwise? Harry wasn't strong enough to defend a mental attack against the Dark Lord, and that bastard would've wanted to make the pain last as long as he could. However, the question remained if the chemo did anything to kill off or separate the horcrux from Harry.

Severus would start researching other possible methods to rid Harry of the horcrux the moment Harry was settled for the night. He had books in his library on dark arts that weren't allowed in Hogwarts' library, and there were more still at Prince Manor. The Black library at Order Headquarters was another available option. Even though it would be easy to recruit someone else to help, Severus planned to tell no one of the subject he was researching. He didn't trust anyone with it, not when his child's life depended on it.

The Potions Master traced the infamous scar once more before sitting back and grabbing Dumbledore's duplicated notes on horcruxes. With any luck Severus' research wouldn't be needed, but he was never one to count on luck.

*~AIE~*

The night was a rough one for Harry. He couldn't get comfortable and once he did his back would stiffen and hurt and he'd have to find another acceptable position. Added to that was his nausea from the chemo that caused him to throw up half the night. He finally fell into a deep sleep around four and didn't wake until Miss Adamson was disconnecting him from his last chemo treatment of week one of the induction chemo cycle.

"You're chemo free for two weeks besides the weekly intrathecal injections." Miss Adamson smiled as she flushed Harry's Hickman. "I'll stop by daily to get a blood sample and see how you're doing, but these next two weeks should be easier on you."

"Really?" Harry couldn't believe it. The week had dragged on for so long that the chemo treatments seemed never ending.

"Really. You're to rest and let your body recover. Regain your appetite. I want you putting back on some of the weight you've lost."

Harry groaned. Nothing sounded appetizing, and he couldn't imagine that changing anytime soon.

"Stop that." Miss Adamson poked his side. "In a few days I want to begin weaning you off the TPN and morphine, and once your stamina recovers we'll start some light physical therapy."

"Fine. I'll try." Harry pulled on a soft charcoal grey jumper Severus had bought him.

"That's all I ask, sweetie. Is there anything either of you need before I go?"

Harry and Severus shook their heads.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow. Don't hesitate to floo if you need me." Miss Adamson poked Harry one more time before leaving.

"She's too cheerful." Harry crossed his arms across his chest, hating that he could feel his Hickman underneath his jumper.

"It's good for you."

"You're saying that cheerfulness is a good thing? The dungeon dweller of Hogwarts?"

"Aren't you also a dungeon dweller of Hogwarts?" Severus cocked an eyebrow at him.

"No fair! I didn't choose the dungeons for my quarters!" Harry sank back on his pillows and pouted.

Severus smirked. "In all fairness, I didn't get to choose where my quarters were located. I was the youngest member on staff by many years and without any teaching experience. Therefore, I was allocated the worst available quarters."

"Why didn't you switch when you had a chance?"

"By then I had made these rooms my home with renovations, and so I claimed the space above us for my personal library instead. Now that I'm Head of Slytherin these quarters are ideally located close to the Slytherin dorms and common room. Though I never imagined I'd have them altered again for a Gryffindor of all things," Severus teased.

"I meant what I said about the Sorting Hat. I convinced it not to put me in Slytherin because I had met Malfoy when I got my robes, and then Ron told me that every bad wizard had come from Slytherin." Harry pulled at his sleeves.

"I imagine things would've been much different had you been sorted into my house." Severus placed his hand on Harry's arm.

"Does it bother you that I'm not a Slytherin?" Harry looked down at his duvet.

"No, child, though we will have to talk with Minerva and the Headmaster when you start attending classes. It wouldn't be fair for you to get into trouble twice because I'm your, because I'm a professor at this school."

Harry felt the bed dip before Severus wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He drew his knees up to his chest and leaned into Severus', his father's side. "Do you think you would've found out sooner?"

"Maybe. I would've had access to your files and been responsible for collecting your permission slips, but that doesn't mean the Headmaster wouldn't have done something else to ensure I didn't find out. Besides the difficulty in receiving your Hogwarts letter, a common thing among Muggleborns or Muggle raised children, you hid anything that would've raised suspicions or a red flag for Minerva to investigate." Severus wrapped a blanket around them. "She never liked Albus placing you there, but she had no plausible reason to intervene."

"I told a primary school teacher once when I was six. My aunt and uncle convinced the social worker I was lying. She didn't believe me when I showed her my cupboard. She thought it was my chosen hideaway," Harry whispered.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to take you away." Severus kissed the top of his head.

"They never beat me. Uncle Vernon dislocated my shoulder by accident once when he woke me up to help cook breakfast, but he took me to hospital for it and never grabbed me by the arm again." Harry closed his eyes. However horrible the Dursleys were to him they never physically hurt him on purpose. That would leave marks, and he liked to think his relatives had some limit to their indifference towards him.

Severus tensed beside him. "How old were you?"

"Four. They withheld food, but I never completely starved and after the incident with my shoulder Aunt Petunia made me drink two glasses of milk a day until I was eight. I often only got a sandwich to eat for dinner, but I got free lunches at school. It wasn't until I went back after coming to Hogwarts that I realized I've never eaten enough."

"Didn't you ever wonder why you were smaller than most of the children in your class?"

"I just figured I was small and that maybe my mum and dad were, too." Harry shrugged. He didn't mind being the smallest in his class as a child. In primary school they were lined up by height so Harry was the leader and closest to the teacher whenever they left the classroom. His teachers had liked him, and it kept him safer from Dudley.

"Does it bother you now?"

"Sometimes. Almost all of the girls in my year are the same height or taller than me and that's annoying. Ron keeps getting taller and taller. I don't necessarily want to be as tall as him, but it would be nice to grow a few inches." It would be nice to fit into adult clothes, too. He was sure he was the last person in his year to wear children's clothing.

"You haven't had a significant growth spurt. There's a good chance once your chemo treatments are over or at least in the maintenance stage, you'll sprout up a few inches with the right nutrition." Severus rubbed light circles into Harry's back.

"Really?" Harry snapped his head up to look at Severus. If he could grow enough to reach 5'7 or 5'8 he'd be happy. Three to four inches was all he was asking for.

"It's probable, and if you haven't grown once you're through with treatments for good, we can consult with Miss Adamson about a few rounds of growth potions if it bothers you that much."

"Thank you." Harry leaned further into Severus' side with a smile on his face. No one had offered to look into something health wise that wasn't absolutely necessary for him before.

"Can you tell me about your cupboard?" Severus whispered.

Harry hesitated. The cupboard was his, a place no one else went into and despite the reasons his relatives put him in there he felt the closest thing he had known to safety until this summer in his cupboard. "It was a cupboard under the stairs that was my room."

"Your bedroom?"

"My room," Harry repeated, not wanting to say anything else about it. He tensed up and hid his face in Severus' shoulder.

"I'm here to listen when you're ready to say more. Thank you, child, for telling me."

Harry nodded. A small weight had been lifted off his shoulder and although he'd have to talk more about his time with the Dursleys eventually, it was relieving to stop hiding that part of him to at least one person.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

Severus hesitated. "Are you alright with me being your father?"

Harry stilled. Was he okay with it? He felt safe with Severus and was starting to grow used to the idea of Severus providing for him even though he didn't know how to act around Severus at times. It still boggled his mind to think about having a parent that was alive after so many years of not having any parental figure or guidance in his life. Harry couldn't believe he wasn't a burden to Severus yet and wondered sometimes when the Potions Master's generosity and patience would end. The whirlwind of the past two weeks, however, had shown Harry a man that hadn't been the father he dreamed of as a child, but a man that continued to take care of him and keep him as safe as Severus could.

"Not yet, but I think I'm getting there."

To be continued...
End Notes:
Wow, were Severus and Harry vulnerable in this chapter or what?

I'm caught up with all my reviews. Yay! I also have some other exciting news. I started a livejournal where I'll post chapter previews as well as chapter discussion posts and cool things. The link is in my profile, so go check it out!


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1891