Harry stood in front of the mirror on the open door of his wardrobe. The person who stared back wasn't him. It couldn't be. He was The-Boy-Who-Lived, not a boy who looked like he belonged in St. Mungo's.  He couldn't help but focus on his head. Without hair, he looked completely different, and there was nothing to distract someone from looking at his scar.

He reached up with a trembling hand to touch his scalp. His fingertips felt the smallest traces of hair poking out through the skin on the top of his head, where an uncontrollable mop of black hair should be. He turned to the right to look at the shamrock shaped birthmark. It was yet another mark he hadn't wished for. Anyway, what good was a four-leaf clover birthmark if he wasn't lucky enough to have parents? Harry sighed. He did have one parent, sort of, maybe. Harry had accepted that Severus wanted be to his father, but Harry wasn't convinced Severus wouldn't abandon him later on when he had the chance. Either that or he'd die like Sirius and everyone else.

"Are you ready?" Severus asked from the doorway.

Harry shook his head. He didn't want to step foot into Grimmauld Place ever again.

"I thought you wanted to go." Severus picked up a maroon beanie and a charcoal newsboy cap from the bed.

"I do, but I don't want to go there." Harry snatched the beanie from Severus' hand and pulled it on his head. "I look stupid. It's summer and I'm wearing long sleeves and a sweater vest."

Harry look down at the outfit Severus had laid out for him. He had on khakis, a black button down shirt, a maroon sweater vest, and brown shoes. The outfit fit him, and he liked the way it looked on him, but not for summer.

"Would you rather wear something else?"

"No," Harry sighed. "Otherwise, I'll freeze, and everyone will see the stupid Hickman through my shirt. I hate this."

"I know, but it's the only proven treatment option for your leukemia." Severus brushed off Harry's shoulders.

"Does everyone know?"

"Yes."

"What about us?" Harry waved his hand between them.

"The only people that know are the Headmaster, Minerva, Poppy, and Miss Adamson. You may tell anyone you wish though I would appreciate it if you warned me before telling Mrs. Weasley." Severus smirked. "I believe the Headmaster is still receiving howlers every day from when he obliviated her."

"Serves him right," Harry mumbled as he turned to look into the mirror again. He pulled the beanie down lower to cover his scar. "You're not going to treat me like you did in school, right? I mean I know you have your reputation to keep up, but-"

"Harry, you needn't worry about that. While I may not tolerate everyone else, I promise not to revert to our previous mutual dislike when it comes to you." Severus set a hand on Harry's back and led him towards the door.

Besides the memorial service, Harry was dreading his friends' reactions to him. He wasn't the same Harry that they remembered from the end of term. Maybe he should tell Severus that he didn't want to go? It wasn't like Severus and Sirius were friends. The Professor would welcome the chance to miss Sirius' memorial.

"Do you have your wand?" Severus buttoned up his outer robes.

"No."

Severus held out his hand. Harry's wand came flying through the room. He snatched the wand out of the air and handed it to Harry. "You should not have to use it, but if something should happen do not hesitate to defend yourself long enough to use the emergency portkey on your bracelet. Do not stay to help anyone. Is that understood?"

"But what if the Death Eaters have you cornered?" Harry hadn't even considered the possibility that there was a chance they wouldn't be safe at Grimmauld Place.

"I cannot concentrate on defending myself if I'm worried for your safety. Should we be separated, I will come as soon as I can." Severus picked up the overstuffed leather bag from the sofa.

"Why are you bringing that?" Harry pointed to the bag.

"It has everything you may need in it."

"Oh, uh right." Harry crossed his arms, unsettled. How long had it taken Severus to prepare to take him to Grimmauld Place?

"Remember what I told you earlier. I don't care if all the Weasley children are allowed into the Order meeting before the memorial service, you are not allowed to attend. What goes on in the meeting doesn't concern you. Your focus is on your health and your schoolwork. War is for adults to fight, not children, and prophecies are rubbish." Severus pulled Harry's cloak around his shoulders and fastened it.

Harry nodded. He still didn't agree with Severus' earlier arguments, but a large part of him was glad to be free of killing Voldemort, at least in Severus' eyes. Harry doubted Dumbledore would ever share Severus' view.

"We may leave Grimmauld Place whenever you wish, and do not hesitate to come to me if you need something. I expect you to tell me if you don't feel good or are in pain."

"I know, and don't eat any uncooked fruits or vegetables and avoid any food platters. Also, if I accept anything from the Weasley twins, I'll regret it until I turn thirty." Harry tried to remember if there was anything else Severus had told him not to do.

"Don't forget that if a cap comes loose or falls off your Hickman, you must tell me immediately-"

"Or else it could get infected and I'll have to have it replaced. I know." Harry shoved his wand into his back pocket. He wasn't sure having his wand on him would do any good. His magic remained erratic, and Harry hoped he wouldn't need to rely on it anytime soon.

"Do you have any idea how valuable that wand is?" Severus ran a hand through his hair with a huff of frustration. "How many times must a professor tell you not to keep your wand in your back pocket especially now that you've successfully cast your first nonverbal spell. Do you want to spend time in St. Mungo's when your wand casts a spell while still in your pocket?"

"Where should I keep it then?" Harry pulled his wand out.

"Do you not have a holster?"

Harry shook his head. It never occurred to him that he should buy one.

"Wait here." Severus strode down the hallway, his robes billowing up behind him.

Harry wondered if Severus' robes billowed that high when he was frustrated with everyone or just Harry. He had missed the Professor's robes. Without them, Severus was a little less intimidating, not that he still wasn't intimidating. The man's aura exuded power. Now, however, the same aura that had once frightened Harry made him feel protected and safe. He was sure no average witch or wizard could duel Severus Snape and live to tell about it.

"Here." Severus handed Harry a worn black leather holster. "I used it while I was still in school. We'll get one made to fit you and your wand, but until then this one should work."

Harry strapped the holster to his left forearm and slid his wand into it. The straps were a little loose though it worked well enough to keep his wand secured. "Thanks."

"Don't lose it," Severus said in a strange tone that Harry couldn't quite figure out.

He pulled down his shirtsleeve, the holster disappearing from sight. Wait. If Severus said he had used the holster while in school then he hadn't been marked yet. Was the holster special to Severus because it used to be strapped to his unblemished forearm?

"Did? Was?" Harry struggled to find the right words. That had to be the reason Severus gave him a holster from his schooldays. Knowing Severus as he did now, Harry knew the man would never give him something to wear that once resided next to his Dark Mark.

"Yes." Severus rubbed his left forearm. "That is all you need to know. The matter is closed."

"Thank you." Severus didn't have to give him the holster to use. Harry felt honored that Severus would trust him with something that meant so much to the Professor, a personal heirloom. Harry swallowed as the significance of his previous thought hit him. He was Severus' biological heir no matter if Harry ever called the man dad or not. 

Severus cleared his throat and produced a Muggle pen from his robes. "Hold on tight."

Stunned, Harry grabbed onto one end of the pen as Severus wrapped an arm around his waist. He heard Severus mumble a word, and then felt the familiar yet hated tug behind his belly button.

*~AIE~*

Severus maintained his hold around Harry's waist when their feet met the library floor of Grimmauld Place. A quick scan around the room revealed to Severus that the Weasleys had been busy cleaning the wretched house and not a person lurked among the numerous bookshelves. Perfect. Harry would have a few minutes to collect himself before being accosted by his friends.

"Alright?" Severus turned to face his son. Harry's grip tightened on Severus' arm, and the little color that he had was gone from his face.

"Dizzy." Harry closed his eyes.

Severus set his free hand on Harry's shoulder to help ground him. He remembered hating portkeying as a child. He always felt nauseous and disoriented for hours afterwards.

Harry groaned. "I hate magical transportation."

"Your tolerance for it will go up as you apparate, floo, and portkey more. My mother carried a phial of anti-nausea potion with her at all times until I was six."

"Great, so after I leave Hogwarts I should be able to apparate without puking." Harry pulled away.

"Are you nauseous?" Severus flipped open his bag and rummaged through the collection of prescription bottles for an anti-emetic. They hadn't worked for Harry's nausea from chemo, but one might work now.

"No, I'm fine." Harry shivered. "I really hate this place."

"That makes two of us."

However, Harry owned the despicable house. Severus hadn't told Harry yet about Black's will. He had the full accounting of Harry's vaults, but he didn't want to stress Harry out anymore than he needed to, and Harry became stressed whenever money was brought up. Severus ought to discuss Harry's finances and assets with him soon, regardless. Harry would be seventeen in a little over a year and would gain access to the main Potter vaults and now Black's. His son needed to know what he was inheriting and guidance in managing his wealth.

"The memorial won't last all day, will it?" Harry looked towards the door.

"No."

"Good."

"Shall we appease the masses by making an appearance before we're discovered?" Severus was surprised someone hadn't heard their arrival yet.

Harry shrugged as if he didn't care, but Severus knew better. "They're your friends," he reminded Harry.

"We'll see if they are or not," Harry snapped. His son's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, but Severus caught the flash of fear clouding Harry's emerald irises.

"Harry..." He sat down on the library sofa and patted the space next to him. "Sit."

"It was nothing!" Harry crept along the bookshelf as he slid past the sofa and Severus, much like a scared animal.

"I won't hurt you, child." Severus whispered.

Harry shook his head, his right hand reaching up his sleeve to grip his wand.

"Come sit down," Severus repeated, his voice calm and even.

"No. I didn't do anything wrong!"

Severus took a deep breath. Harry wasn't being insolent on purpose. The child was stressed over his friends' reactions and the memorial. A reminder that Severus had once been a Death Eater hadn't helped to keep Harry calm.

In fact, did Harry even know the common practices of a wizarding memorial service? Severus resisted the urge to hex himself. He should've gone over the traditional wizarding customs with Harry even though he had no idea if Black's memorial would follow them. It was his responsibility to prepare Harry for events like these, and it wouldn't be the last memorial or funeral Harry would attend before the war was over, yet Severus had failed. He was letting his son walk into his godfather's memorial blind.

"Child," Severus stood up slowly, allowing Harry to track his every move. "I wasn't going to yell at you."

"But I snapped at you." Harry wrapped his cloak around himself.

"Have you not snapped at me more times than I can count since you've arrived at Hogwarts?"

"That's different."

"How so?" Severus had expected Harry to run through a gamut of emotions today, but he had thought they were past Harry's fear of what Severus might do to him.

"You weren't my, you know." Harry bit his lip.

"Stop biting your lip." Severus gently scolded as he moved to stand in front of his son, one cautious step at a time. "I'm going to hug you."

Severus never thought he'd ever say those words, but Harry needed to know Severus' movements before he made them. It was a classic sign of abuse that showed Harry had a little more than neglect in his past or at least was threatened with physical abuse.

He held up his arms, watching to make sure Harry followed them before wrapping his arms around Harry. Tight, but not too tight. Harry could escape with a gentle tug if he had to.

"I know you're feeling a lot of different things right now, but I want to make certain that you know I will never hurt you." He wasn't comfortable speaking about emotions, and his words sounded idiotic to him, yet he needed to try for Harry. "It is inevitable that we will argue, and you will snap back. If an argument gets heated I will either leave the room or send you to yours. You may be grounded as a result but any form of punishment will be discussed after we both cool off. Your punishments will never include anything that may physically or emotionally harm you. Is that clear?"

Harry nodded a half-nod that didn't convince Severus that Harry believed him at all.

"If I need to take a vow for you to believe me, I will." Severus rubbed light circles into Harry's back. The child's muscles were tense and ready to react.

"An Unbreakable Vow?" Harry questioned, his voice no louder than a pin drop.

"If that's what it takes for you to believe me."

"I want to believe you, and I try but then it's like something gets triggered in my mind that I can't help." Harry hid his head in Severus' robes as his body relaxed. "It's embarrassing. I'm fifteen, but when these things just happen, it makes me feel like a sniveling first year."

"It's not your fault, Harry. You're fighting against your body's natural reactions that were hammered into your brain by your relatives. It'll take time, and when you're feeling stressed like you are today, those reactions are more likely to surface." Severus tightened his hold around Harry. He'd been avoiding the subject of counseling, but perhaps Harry would benefit more from it than Severus realized. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Harry pulled away, a blush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks. "Can I go?"

Severus nodded. He watched Harry leave the room with a sigh. The child had so many things to deal with. Where would a psychiatrist even start?

A light tapping noise filtered into his ears, and Severus jumped.

"I sent Harry upstairs to visit with his friends. We're waiting for you to start the meeting," Minerva informed him from the doorway.

"Thank you." Severus straightened up to his full height. As Harry mentioned earlier, he did have a reputation to protect.

"Severus," she said with a sigh as she walked fully into the library and shut the door. "You look like you haven't slept in days. Why haven't you asked for help?"

"He's my child. I am perfectly capable of taking care of him." Severus crossed his arms. He didn't need help.

"That's not what I'm implying, and you know it." Minerva shook her finger at him. "This is not the time for stubbornness. Harry needs you at your full strength, and there is nothing wrong or shameful about having someone sit with Harry while you get some sleep. Must I visit you daily until you accept help?"

Severus held his head high even though Minerva's scolding always reduced him to a student all over again. "I will not key my wards against you should you desire tea." That was as close as accepting help as Severus would get. He didn't ask for help or rely on others. Those habits got even the best spies killed.

"How does two sound?" Minerva smirked.

"As acceptable as any time for a Gryffindor to invade my private quarters." Severus glared.

"I believe that has already happened, but I look forward to tea nonetheless." Minerva coughed to cover up her laughter.

Damn! How could he have not foreseen cornering himself with that remark? He must be sleep deprived if a Gryffindor had outwitted him. He turned on his heel, his robes billowing out behind him. "They're waiting for us."

"Go on. Tell Albus I'll be there in a minute." Minerva chuckled.

Severus glared again before he swept from the room, Minerva's laughter trailing behind him.

*~AIE~*

Harry climbed the stairs with a groan. Remus Lupin was sitting on the top stair with a large smile plastered on his face. His former professor was the last person he wanted to run into. Harry was starting to hate how every time he saw Lupin, the werewolf was happy to see him, but he never bothered to write or check up on him to see how he was.

"Harry!" Lupin's eyes lit up.

"Hello, Professor." Harry leaned against the balustrade, out of breath. 

"Let me help you." Lupin sprinted down the stairs and slung his arm around Harry's waist.

A jolt of pain rippled up Harry's back. Lupin's arm had hit a sore spot.

"I don't need help." Harry shoved Lupin's arm away. "Shouldn't you be downstairs for the Order meeting?"

Lupin's face fell as he backed down a step. "I wanted to see how you were. I'm worried about you."

"Why haven't you written or visited if you were so worried?" Harry continued up the staircase.

"I've been meaning to, but I've been going through a bit of a rough time with the loss of Sirius."

"And I haven't?" Harry yelled. "You could've at least been there when I woke up after the Ministry or checked to see how I was after the healers poked me with huge needles or when I was getting chemo pumped into my body."

"Harry, I..." Lupin held up his hands. "I'm sorry."

"That's not good enough!"

"He was my best friend. The war killed them all." Lupin hung his head.

Harry didn't care. Lupin's excuses were that, excuses. The war had killed his parents and his godfather, yet he continued to soldier on, or at least tried to.

"I'll promise to do better, Harry. I really will."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Harry sat down on the opposite side of the top step of the first floor landing that Lupin had sat on.

"I can ask Dumbledore if you can live here with me like Sirius always wanted. We can arrange for a nurse to come and give you your chemistry potions." Lupin dropped down beside Harry.

"I already have a home!" Harry slid as close to the banister as he could. Lupin's pathetic effort was too little too late.

"You can't be talking about staying with Snape? Harry, Dumbledore placed you there because Snape isn't useful to the Order now that his cover is blown." Lupin grabbed Harry's hand.

"Don't touch me!" Harry snatched his hand away. "You don't know what you're talking about. Severus takes care of me better than anyone else ever has. Ever! For the first time I have clothes that fit me and a room that I can call my own."

"It's Severus now, is it?" Lupin pulled Harry's sleeve up to his nose and sniffed it.

"What are you doing?" Harry tugged his arm free.

"I can smell him on you."

"Of course you can. I live with him." Harry stood up, not liking one bit what Lupin was implying.

"He's your professor, and you're his student. You shouldn't have been allowed to grow close to him."

"Is that so, Professor?" Harry bit back with a smirk.

"I'm not a former Death Eater." Lupin slammed his fist onto the floor.

Harry jumped back, his hands scrambling to grab onto something before he fell down. His fingers wrapped around a doorknob, and he hauled himself to his feet, leaning against the door as a coughing fit seized him.

"Harry?" Lupin's voice flipped from outraged to concerned.

"I'm fine." Harry cradled his ribs with a grimace on his face. "Just leave me alone."

"There you are, Remus," Dumbledore said as he glided towards them from a room down the hall adorned in blinding gold robes that might as well be liquid gold with ruby accents.

"Headmaster," Harry choked out.

"Oh dear. Shall I fetch Severus?" The Headmaster pulled out his wand, alarmed.

"I'm fine. Really." Harry leaned all his weight into the door and closed his eyes. His ribs hurt from the coughing spell, but it was nothing he couldn't live with.

"Are you certain?"

Harry could feel Dumbledore's gaze on him. He didn't dare open his eyes to let Dumbledore slide into his mind. "I'm sure."

"Then I trust you can find your way down the hall to your friends. I've held them off temporarily for you, but I'm afraid if you take too long they may ambush you." Dumbledore's tone and words reminded Harry of when he was younger and believed the Headmaster was a quirky grandfather type that skirted the edge of senility.

"Thank you, sir."

"Remus, I believe we are late, and Molly made the most wonderful strawberry tarts."

"You approve of this?" Harry cracked open his eyes to see Remus waving his hands towards him.

"What I think does not matter." Dumbledore gave Harry a sad smile. "Though if I had to trust anyone with Harry, it would be Severus."

"What? You can't trust a spy!" Lupin pivoted to face him, but the Headmaster set his hand on Lupin's shoulder and started to lead him down the stairs.

"All in good time, my boy."

Harry wanted to slide down the door and process what had just happened, but if he sat down, he wasn't getting up. Beside, Hermione and Ron would run out and accost him the moment he got comfortable. Harry pushed away, keeping his right hand within reach of the wall as he made his way down the hallway to the open door. He couldn't delay their reactions any longer. He wasn't safe in the protection of Severus' quarters, he wasn't home, but if he wanted to really live life he had to stray outside the protective bubble Severus had created. And if he wasn't going to live life what was the point of the chemotherapy?