Severus stood quietly in his bedroom in front of his bookcase staring at one of the only physical objects he had left of his wife - her willow wand.  He looked at it for a long moment before the longing to touch her overwhelmed him.  He knew he could never touch her again, but when his fingers curled around the slender wood he could almost imagine that they were wrapped around her hand.  He was touching what she had once touched, and in that way, he was holding her hand again. 

His breath came quicker as he was brought from these sentimental thoughts and saw that he only held his wife's cold wand.  He reached up his other hand and held the tip of the wand, his thumb and index finger stroking it softly, wishing that he could only touch her again.  But the wand offered none of her warmth, just coldness. 

Severus closed his eyes as emotions began to choke him, making him thankful that he had Remus to watch over his son every Halloween.  It spared Tevin seeing his father unravel as the greatest sin of his past haunted him.

Voldemort prowled the ground in front of the kneeling Severus Snape, who was cloaked in the anonymity of dark robes and a concealing mask.  "Give me your arm," he ordered. 

Severus looked up and did not move for a fraction of a moment before he raised his left arm towards Voldemort.  The Dark Lord grabbed him by the wrist and jerked back the black sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark burned into the pale skin on the forearm.  Voldemort drew his wand and pressed the tip to the Dark Mark on Severus's arm, sending a dull throb through the younger wizard's arm. 

Voldemort looked to the sky in anticipation.  Under his breath he whispered, "You will be rewarded for this information, Severus.  Rise."  Voldemort released Severus's arm, and the younger man stood.

Other Death Eaters apparated around Severus and Voldemort with a cacophony of popping sounds.  Severus adjusted his mask, trying to look as though he too had just arrived.  When the gathered Death Eaters were silent, Voldemort began to prowl around the circle in which he was enclosed.  "I have received information that can threaten our existence.  And it all depends on one person!"  All of the masked Death Eaters shifted in their increased attention on his words. 

Voldemort strode powerfully around the inner border of the circle, looking each of his followers in the eyes as he passed them.  "I need the names of children!"  Voldemort's walk began to slow as he approached Severus's masked form.  He looked directly into his informant's eyes as he spoke carefully, silently asking for confirmation.  "I want the names of every child born at the end of July!  Bring these names to me!"  He stared into Severus's eyes.  Severus nodded to confirm the words with a barely perceptible movement.  Then, Voldemort continued past him and shouted his order one last time. 

"Do what you must, my friends, but bring me those names!"

Severus opened his eyes and saw that he had drawn the wand he held so tenderly in his hands closer to his heart.  His head fell forward and he drew a shaking breath.  "Lily," he breathed.  "Oh, Lily."  He felt the first of his tears develop.  "If I knew then..."

He walked across the room and sunk down upon his bed, his hands cradling the wand gently, and his head bent low over it as though he were in penitent prayer.  "I'm so sorry, Lily..."

Severus stood again in a gathered circle of masked Death Eaters, watching Voldemort prowl the inner border as per usual.  Voldemort quickly drove his long-fingered hand forward and dissolved the mask from the Death Eater's face before him.  "Speak, Rodolphus!  What have you learned?"

The other man looked at Voldemort with clever eyes and a wicked smile.  "A boy."

"Stop delaying and tell him!" shrieked a female voice nearby.

Voldemort tilted his head, before he strode to the female figure.  With a much slower motion, Voldemort dissolved the mask from the woman.  "And what information do you have for me, Bellatrix?"

She smiled at Voldemort and turned her head smoothly to the side, looking at him through lowerd lashes.  "There's a boy we found born on July thirtieth.  Neville Longbottom." 

Voldemort grinned at her before he began to turn away from her.  She stopped him with her low and seductive voice.  "There's another one, my Lord."  When Voldemort turned to face her again she continued.  "His name is Harry Potter.  Born on the thirty-first." 

Voldemort met her eyes and then his lips curled into a twisted smile.  "You will earn a reward for this, Bellatrix," he purred to her.  She smiled in return. 

Voldemort resumed his prowling around the circle until he stopped at another Death Eater, repeating the rough dissolving of the mask.  "Augustus, with your position in the Ministry, you have access to the files of every wizard.  Tell me what you can of the parents." 

"Already done, my Lord."  Voldemort nodded at him to continue.  "The first are Frank and Alice Longbottom, Aurors, Purebloods."

"What of the Potter boy?" Voldemort hissed. 

"Parents are James and Lily Potter, members of the Order of the Phoenix.  She's a Mudblood." 

Voldemort's eyes narrowed as he took in the information.  "The boy is a Half-blood, then." 

"Yes, my Lord." 

Voldemort said nothing else as he turned from Augustus Rookwood.  The atmosphere was quiet for a long while before Voldemort spoke again, but it was so quiet that only the Death Eater nearest to him was able to hear the voice.  Severus Snape.  "Born to those who thrice defied me..." he murmured.  His eyes slid to the side to meet Severus's gaze, who nodded imperceptively, though he seemed to hesitate. 

Voldemort continued to walk after he noticed the nod.  After another several moments of silence, he spoke again.  "Leave me!  All of you!  I will summon you all when I have made my decision."  Everyone began to disapparate from the circle.  Suddenly, Voldemort whirled to face Severus.  "Severus, remain." 

Severus and Voldemort stared at each other until everyone else in the circle had disappeared.  "My Lord?"

Voldemort approached Severus, walking as though he was floating.  "I made my decision just after hearing about the children." 

Severus straightened his spine.  "Yes, my Lord?"

"My target is the Potter boy."  Voldemort did not see Severus stiffen as he said the words.  Voldemort did, however, notice that Severus did not speak.  "You say nothing."

Severus took a deep breath before speaking.  "My Lord," he began carefully, "what is your intention for ridding yourself of this threat against you?"

Voldemort studied Severus for a long while before replying.  "Is that your place, Severus?"

"No, my Lord," Severus said, looking down to the ground.  His spine was stiffened, and his entire body tensed. 

"Speak, Severus." 

Severus drew in another deep breath and then slowly raised his eyes to meet those of Voldemort.  "My Lord, you spoke of a reward for delivering the prophecy to you."

Voldemort nodded like a monarch to his subject.  "Very well.  You have a request."  It was not a question.

Severus kept his eyes on Voldemort's as he returned the graceful nod.  He opened his mouth to speak the familiar, sweet name, but his sense of caution choked him until he managed to substitute her name for something less emotionally tying.  "The woman."

"The mother?"

"Yes."

Voldemort looked at Severus curiously.  "Surely there are other witches that can satisfy you, others more worthy of you." 

Severus had expected an initial refusal.  "That may be so, but I want her spared.  No pain would be worse for her than to be alive and forced into an alliance with me as your follower, while her husband and son are dead."  Voldemort regarded Severus in silence for a moment, studying him.  Severus felt Voldemort reach out with his mind and try to search his own, but Severus was content.  He knew his own skill in Occlumency was unmatched.  "I request that she be spared...for my own pleasures."

Voldemort continued to study him before his lips curled into a twisted grin.  "Very well, Severus, the woman is yours.  I will spare her." 

Severus's eyes sprang open.  He'd fallen asleep and had fallen to his side, his hands still gently holding the willow wand.  He could not escape the memories of the events leading to his wife's death, nor the measures he desperately tried in order to keep her safe.  He could not escape being haunted by it whether he was awake or asleep no matter what he did. 

He rose from his bed with the wand and walked across the room to place it back on the high shelf of the bookcase.  He never showed his son Lily's wand.  How could he explain it all to Tevin when he still had difficulties with what had happened?  He carefully put the willow wand down and gazed at it for a moment. 

He remembered asking Voldemort to spare her.  He remembered not trusting the dark wizard to keep his word, and so he had gone to another wizard, to Albus Dumbledore, whom he did not trust, but whom Severus knew that Voldemort feared.  Going to the wizard who commanded the Dark Lord's fear was enough of a reason to seek his protection for his wife, his Lily. 

Severus stood before Dumbledore, in the midst of a heated discussion on a hilltop.  He was confessing to the older wizard. 

 "If she means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her?  Could you not ask for mercy for the mother in exchange for the son?"

"I have-I have asked him-"

"You disgust me!  You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child?  They can die, as long as you have what you want?"

 "Hide them all, then.  Keep her-them-safe.  Please."

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"

"In-in return?"  There was a pregnant pause, before Severus replied in a quietly desperate voice.  "Anything."

"Even spy for me?  Reporting to me of all of the activities of the Death Eaters?"

"Yes."

"You realize that it would greatly put your life in danger."

"Yes."

"Very well, Severus.  After every meeting you attend, I want you to come immediately to me.  Find me, and report to me and only me."  Dumbledore turned away from Severus, intending to leave the grassy area. 

Severus stepped forward.  "Wait!"  Dumbledore stopped and faced the younger man, but did not verbally reply.  "What do you intend to do for them?" 

Dumbledore smiled and adjusted his half-moon spectacles, looking like a man who had just thought of a clever plan.  "I think the Fidelius Charm should do nicely."  With that, Dumbledore disapparated away, leaving Severus behind and alone on the windy hilltop. 

Despite the new bargain he had just entered into with the headmaster of Hogwarts, Severus felt worse than when he'd bargained with Voldemort.  Both the Dark Lord and Dumbledore promised him that Lily would live.  Yet Severus felt that both of them made empty promises.  And at that moment on the hilltop, with the wind dancing with his robes and hair, Severus swore that he would protect Lily.  He would ensure her survival. 

Severus walked away from the bookcase and to the hidden doorway that led to his office and private lab.  He walked as though he were under the Imperius Curse, but one where he was forced to walk through the steps that would make him remember the events of horrible memories not one that commanded him to perform malicious acts. 

He used his office as his own private potion brewing lab.  He hid the location of the lab tables, behind a wall.  It looked like a protrusion invading his office, but there was a small, barely noticeable space between the bordering wall and the deceptive wall that would enable him to slide through into the surprisingly spacious lab. 

Like a man no longer in control of his body, he walked to this thin opening and slid into the lab.  His dark eyes scanned the neat and clean tables, the various cauldrons set neatly on the shelves against the far wall, and finally upon the sealed transparent cabinet, inside which rested several thin vials, each no taller than his index finger.  They were filled with a pale, glowing blue liquid which was so clear that it looked like glowing water.  He remembered how he developed this potion.  Like every year since, he wished he had brought more with him that night.

Severus traveled through the streets of Diagon Alley as though he were being chased by a rabid hippogriff.  He had no concern that he was very nearly running past the leisurely strolling wizards and witches.  He had three destinations and very little time to experiment, although his mission required experimentation. 

He did not run, but he was certainly walking with a long, rushed stride. 

He made a direct line to the towering white building and passed quickly through the bronze doors and then immediately through the silver doors into the lobby of Gringotts Wizarding Bank.  He was surprised yet delighted that the counters were littered with very few customers.  He walked directly up to the closest one and barely waited for the goblin behind the counter to acknowledge his presence before he had two small golden keys between them. 

"I want access to my vault and my mother's vault."

The goblin looked at him disprovingly, most likely for the young man's rudeness and demanding attitude.  "Name?" he asked. 

"Severus Snape."

The goblin took his quill and flipped through a book, deliberately taking his time.  He seemed to have found Severus's name and he scratched in something in the book before looking up to the man.  "Vault numbers?"

Severus huffed in aggravation.  He was pressed for time.  "Vault 691 and 930."

The goblin looked again in the book and made a fewmore scratches with his quill, before he disappeared from his chair.  Severus took back his keys and waited impatiently as he heard the goblin shuffle behind the tall counter.  After a moment, the goblin emerged from a doorway that was underneath the countertop.  The goblin looked up at Severus and said, "Follow me."

Severus followed the quick-footed goblin through another door that led to carts on tracks.  The goblin and Severus got in and in an instant the cart was speeding away.  It jarred to an abrupt halt after a moment and Severus had to hold onto the side for fear of being thrown from it.  The goblin announced, "Vault 691!" and sprang from the cart.  It held out its long-fingered hand.  "Key, please!" 

Severus handed the goblin the key to his vault.  The goblin made quick work of the key and then used the one belonging to Gringotts afterward.  The door opened with a groan, and Severus stepped inside. 

There was not a great amount of wealth that could be attributed to Severus Snape, but it was enough for him with which to live comfortably enough.  He thought of James Potter for a moment, knowing that the size of his humble hill of galleons, and sickles and knuts would only equal a miniscule fraction of the pompous wizard's hoard.  He wondered for a moment if James even appreciated the gesture that he had sent the other man half of his salary in order to support Lily, as his honor would have it no other way.  He had asked for James to protect her, and Severus was willing to support her, even if James was perfectly capable to support her on his own obscene inheritance.  Lily was his wife, and he had given his word that he would support her...even after she'd given birth to James's son, making their marriage void.  Severus loved her, even still, and would keep to his bargain. 

And so, he lived on only half of his salary, while he gave the rest to Lily. 

Severus looked at the amount of money in his vault having the thought that what he possessed may not be enough to save her.  He did not know what he should take from the vault.  However, he knew that he needed to be prepared for the unexpected and so he emptied his vault of what he had, which was a very humble amount.  He walked out of the vault and the goblin closed the door and locked it. 

Severus and the goblin got back into the cart and raced off to the second vault that Severus named.  "Vault 930!" announced the goblin.  Severus and the goblin repeated the process of entering the vault.  It was his mother's old vault.  He felt like an intruder going into her vault, even though she could not reprimand him for doing so.  She was dead and had left him her vault.  It was less than what his own vault had contained, but it just might be enough for his purpose.  Severus added his mother's money with his own and left the vault. 

Only several minutes later, Severus was practically running through Diagon Alley again, intent on getting to his second stop.  He walked into Magical Menagerie and headed straight for the section where all of the toads were kept.  Severus signaled for the saleswoman to come over to him.  She was a sickly-looking woman that seemed to have been defeated by the demands of all of the animals she sold and kept in her shop.  "Can I help you?" she asked.

"How much are your toads?" 

Her tired muddy hazel eyes slid over to the tanks filled with toads, then drifted her gaze back to Severus.  "They're the cheapest animals I sell.  One galleon each."

Severus licked his lips as he thought for a brief moment.  "Alright, I'll take...twenty of them." 

The woman smiled, but with her sickly appearance it looked like a grimace.  "Is that a question or-"

"Give me twenty toads, witch," Severus growled. 

The woman was surprised, but she did as he ordered.  She moved quickly, not bothering to be sure if the twenty toads she counted out for him were healthy or not.  She brought them to the counter.  Severus followed her and when he got out his money bag, she looked at him questioningly, suspiciously.  "Why would you need twenty toads at once?"

Severus took out the twenty galleons and set them on the counter.  He took hold of the box of toads.  "That isn't really your concern is it?"  Then, he left the shop and began towards his last destination.

He made it to the Apothecary's Shop in unprecedented time and when he entered the shop, he found that it was mercifully empty. 

He walked directly to the ancient-looking man behing the counter.  "Merlin's beard, Mr. Snape, you look terrible!  Are you alright?" 

Severus looked at the shop keeper with wild eyes.  "Hopefully, everything will be alright once I acquire all of these ingredients, Jayce."  He produced a long slip of parchment from an inner breast pocket in his dark robes. 

Jayce took the parchment and looked at it.  It was long.  His old, drooping eyes looked over each requested ingredient and the further down the list he read, the more his questions became visible on his face.  "Mr. Snape, many of these are very rare."

"I know you have them, Jayce," Severus said, with a voice that betrayed no uncertainty. 

Jayce looked up at Severus and studied him for a moment.  "Because they are rare, they are very expensive." 

"I had guessed."

Jayce hesitated, looked at the list again, then back at Severus.  "I do not mean to sound accusing, but can you afford all of this?"

Severus's expression crumbled.  "How much would it be?" 

"Almost a fortune."

Severus nodded, his lips set into a firm line.  He drew his wand and pulled out the shrunken money bag containing everything from his and his mother's vaults.  He pointed the wand at the bag and muttered, "Compotus."  In an instant a tiny sliver of parchment sprang from the bag.  It had an amount written on it in writing identical to his own penmanship.  He gave the new, smaller parchment to Jayce.  "Just give me what you can with this amount of payment."

Jayce took the paper in his other hand and looked at it.  Then he looked to the list of needed ingredients.  After a moment or two a thought struck the old apothecary.  "Mr. Snape, is this everything you have?" 

 Severus was at first offended by the man's presumption to ask such a personal question, but he forgave this old man since he'd been coming to him since he was a young boy of eleven.  He swallowed in embarrassment.  "Yes."

Jayce's eyes softened in a mixture of kindness and pity.  "Severus, I cannot take this from you.  Potion making is not worth everything you own." 

Severus noticed that the man had called him by his first name, but like many other things about Jayce, he ignored this too.  His body went rigid when he replied.  "This potion is."

"Is it worth every galleon you own?"

"This is worth everything I own in the world, even my own life." 

Jayce looked in Severus's eyes for a long while before the determination and desperation in Severus's eyes forced him to relent.  "Very well, Mr. Snape."  Jayce produced a box and set it on the counter.  "Would you like to measure everything out yourself as usual?"

"I would prefer you measure this time, but I will label them for you to speed the process.  I know there is quite a list." 

Jayce nodded.  "Yes, there is."  He came around the counter and began to make his way towards the potions ingredients that lined the walls.  "Yes, there is."  Jayce and Severus developed a quick system as the ingredients on Severus's list were brought to the counter, measured, bottled, and labeled.  It was the last item that Jayce had to retrieve from a locked cupboard behind the counter.  Inside were the very expensive ingredients.  He plucked a delicate, blood red glass bottle from the shelf.  He turned and looked very seriously at Severus.  "Are you sure you know what you are doing before you buy this?"

"I hope so."

"I'm sure you know this, Mr. Snape, but phoenix tears are one of the rarest potion ingredients on this earth."

Severus's gaze was trained on the tiny red bottle in Jayce's palm.  "I know.  If it took everything I own, I would still have it." 

Jayce handed it to Severus.  "Use it carefully.  This is all that I have of it.  I cannot supply you with more should you make too many mistakes."  Severus put the tiny bottle of phoenix tears into his inner breast pocket. 

"Then, I will be sure to brew it correctly."  Severus gave Jayce the money bag, not giving the old man a chance to check the amount within it.  Severus put the box of toads on top of the potion ingredients and then picked them both up at once.  He left the shop and once he was outside in Diagon Alley, he apparated away with a snap. 

Severus appeared again just outside of the apparition border of the Hogwarts grounds.  He walked directly to the gates with his boxes.  He set them onto the ground and drew his wand, muttering the incantation to make his purchases float behind him.  Then, he tapped the wand against the gates, disabling the wards to allow himself entrance into the school. 

He went to his office door and entered quickly, kicking the door shut behind him.  He went through the office and slid behind the wall and into his private lab.  He motioned for the boxes to rest on his lab table as he began to prepare his scales and his cauldrons.  As he began to work, he remembered something. 

He left his labs and went into his office, directly to the hidden door in the wall to the left of his desk.  He went through and entered his bedroom.  He walked directly to his bookcase and pulled a tall, old dusty volume from the shelf.  He opened the cover to reveal a thin hawthorn wand. 

It was his mother's old wand.  He'd recovered it once she died, before his father was able to snap it.  He was thankful that he'd thought to take her wand now, because the spell he intended to use would result in extreme difficulties were he to use his own wand.  He took the wand from the book before replacing the volume on the shelf. 

Severus strode back into his office and slid into his private labs.  He set his mother's old wand down on a lab table farthest away from the cauldrons.  Then, he began to work, ignoring the croaking of twenty toads still in their box. 

Hours later he removed the eighteenth toad from the box.  There were seventeen others scattered all over the lab tables.  They were all dead.  Severus looked exhausted, like he'd been on his feet brewing for weeks rather than simply a day and a half.  His hair hung limply and heavily on either side of his face.  His hands were red and blistered from several exploding cauldrons, but he ignored the bubbling, pus-filled skin.  He had a task, and he would not sleep until it was completed.

 He took a small syringe and inserted it into the fresh potion, drawing a small sample into it.  Severus stared at the toad sitting on the table in front of him, waiting patiently for it to open its mouth.  "Come on," he whispered.  Then, the toad croaked and Severus wasted no time.  His left hand latched onto the toad and as its mouth was open in its loud protest, he aimed the syringe and released the potion into the toad's mouth.  The animal made a strange gurgling noise before it seemed to have swallowed the potion.  Severus released the toad and waited, again with patience.  It looked at him, defiantly silent, until it seemed to need to make a sound.  It croaked again, sounding just as healthy as it had before Severus force-fed it his experimental potion. 

Severus picked up his mother's old wand again for the eighteenth time and once again aimed it at a toad.  "Avada Kedavra," he whispered.  A green light shot from his mother's wand and the toad fell to the table...dead.  Severus's shoulders slumped and he sighed.  He pushed the corpse of the toad to the side as he set the wand down again.  He walked back over to the cauldron to try again.

Once it was completed, Severus filled a new syringe with the new potion.  He approached the nineteenth toad that sat calmly upon the lab table.  Once it croaked, Severus grabbed it to hold it in place and then emptied the syringe into the toad's mouth.  He waited until the toad made another sound.  It lived.  Then, he picked up his mother's wand again and pointed it at the toad.  Severus drew in a deep breath.  If this attempt failed, he had only one last toad on which to test the potion.  Staring hard at the toad, Severus firmly said, "Avada Kedavra."  Green light shot from his mother's wand and sturck the toad.  It fell to the table, and it did not breathe. 

Severus stared at the motionless toad for an unbelieving moment before his control snapped.  He released a bellowing cry and grabbed a potion stirring rod and hurled it against the stone wall.  It shattered.  Severus turned away from the toad and ran his fingers through his limp, greasy hair.  His mind raced as he tried to work out how he could fix the potion one last time and get it right.  He began to panic in the silence of the lab.

Until he heard a sound from behind him.  Severus, with his hands still gripping his hair in rising panic, turned to look behind him.  What he saw brought tears to his eyes. 

The toad lived.

Severus lowered his hands in speechless shock.  He stared at the toad for a moment, not trusting that his eyes saw the toad sitting up and breathing.  He did not believe it until he heard once again the toad emit a strong and healthy croak. 

Severus reeled backwards in shock until his spine collided against the wall.  His mouth hung open, and his body was stiff.  Then, the realization of what he had just accomplished set in.

He'd just invented a potion that countered the Killing Curse.